Love Rock'ollection: The Brutal Strength Rock Star Trilogy, books 1-3 (56 page)

Sam lifted her head and sat up in her chair. She looked Avery straight in the eye and told her new friend her decision.

JR WOKE UP around noon with the acrid smell of vomit wafting up from his trashcan. “Ugh,” he gagged, choking back down bile. Lying still, he waited for the wave of nausea and dizziness to pass. Samantha. His first coherent thought was always of her.

He remembered the storms that had brewed in those grey eyes and knew he was to blame. Remorse filled his heart every time he thought about what he had done to her. Hell, if he’d been half the man she deserved, he would never have doubted her in the first place.

The adulation of the crowd had always been the primary motivator in his life, but now more than anything else he wanted Sam’s approval. He wanted her back in his arms, gazing at him, eyes filled with love and adoration. And he was beginning to be afraid that might never happen.

Staring up at the ceiling, arm thrown over his pounding head, JR made a silent pact with himself. Partying every once in a while with friends was one thing, but trying to drown his troubles every single day wasn’t helping. Marcus, the asshat, was right. He needed to straighten the hell up. He might not ever get her back but if he wanted there to be any hope, any chance at all, he was going to have to take a different path than the self-destructive one that he was currently traveling.

A more constructive outlet was what was needed. Lifting his swollen hand to his face, he grimaced. Though, he could wiggle his fingers a bit more, he suspected his hand was a long way from being fully healed. He’d just have to improvise. It was time to get back into the studio, to get lost in the rhythm, the movement and the pounding of the drums.

Sliding his legs over to the side of the bed, he stood unsteadily as the floor shifted beneath him.
Crap
. He wasn’t ready. He stumbled into the bathroom and rejected the remaining contents of his stomach. Afterward, he wiped his mouth off and brushed his teeth. Gripping the edge of the counter, he stared at his bloodshot eyes in the mirror and set his jaw before stepping into the shower.

One shower, two aspirin, and three ibuprofen tablets later, JR strode down the hall of Black Cat Records. With determination, he pulled his sticks from his pocket and entered practice room three which contained his favorite drum set. He gave the equipment a visual once over, and then took a deep cleansing breath. Twisting his head in a circle, he loosened his neck muscles before sitting. He ran his fingers carefully around the rim of the snare and tightened the screw on the cymbal. Giving the bass drum a kick, he nodded his head in satisfaction.

Time to play.

JR lost track of time, releasing his anger and frustration in the music. It spilled out of his heart, down his arms, and onto the resistant surface of the drums. With taped up fingers, again and again he pounded away on the equipment. Sweat began to drip down his forehead and slide down his back, soaking into the waistband of his jeans. He peeled off his over shirt and the wife beater he’d worn underneath. Like most drummers, he found the seams on a shirt confining anyway.

Popping back in his ear buds, he scrolled the volume up more and resumed playing. Several times he had to pause to wipe down sweaty hands and blood from the abrasions on his knuckles. About the fifth time he did this, his sticks slid off his lap and onto the floor. “Shit.” Bending over to pick them up, a subtle flash of movement in the doorway drew his gaze. His eyes widened.

“Sam,” he breathed in a reverential whisper, afraid he’d wishfully conjured up her avatar.

“John,” she replied just as softly taking a small, hesitant step into the room.

JR stood, moving quickly across the room, stopping a foot in front of her. His eyes cherished the chestnut curls, sweet heart shaped face, and parted lips. Her eyes were glistening like molten silver.

She took a step closer. His heart leapt at the proximity and soared when she reached out to him. Examining his bloodied hands, she frowned. “What have you done?” For a while she didn’t say anything else as she ran her fingers softly over his knuckles. When she finally looked up, a tear spilled out of her eye and tracked down her still bruised cheek.

“Don’t cry, baby.” Using his free hand, JR gently brushed the tear aside.

Sam closed her eyes, and leaned her face into his hand. “We’re a banged up pair, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice sounding husky and raw. “I’ve missed you so much, Sam.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she pulled away. His hand dropped to his side. Gaze frozen on her, he waited uncertainly as more tears spilled from her eyes.

“John,” she tried again and then stopped, looking down at her feet. “I want…” Her bottom lip quivered. She took a deep breath and when she glanced back at him, for the first time since the breakup, he began to hope. Her gaze was steady and he caught a glimpse of something that he’d never thought to see again in her eyes.

The force of it hit him in the chest like an avalanche, making it hard for him to breathe. His eyes burned and tears blurred his vision. Taking a step closer, he carefully reached out, his hand trembling, and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “What is it that you want?” he asked carefully.

She took his hand again and pressed it back to her face. “I want to try again… to start over.”

A smile like the sun rising at dawn spread slowly across JR’s face. “Oh thank God.” He caressed her cheek with his free hand, ghosting his thumb softly across her bottom lip. His eyes searched hers. “I don’t deserve it though. I don’t deserve you.” He swallowed. “Without you, I’m lost, without any direction or purpose. My life was dark and empty before you came into it. You, Sam, are
my
star. You set my world ablaze from the moment I met you. I will gladly spend every minute of the rest of my life proving how much I love you.”

Sam’s silver eyes sparkled. She stood up on her tiptoes, closed her eyes and tilted her face up toward his. Heart thudding, JR leaned down and laid his lips softly against hers. It was not a passionate kiss, yet the feel of it… of her… rocked him to the core. Words of love clamored to get out and it was a struggle to push them back down. Now was not the time. She wouldn’t accept them. Later. Another day. Hopefully, soon. Sam was giving him another chance. He wanted to shout his happiness from a stadium stage. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

AVERY PULLED MARCUS away from the doorway. “Leave them alone, you lurker.”

He smiled. “Hey, do I need to remind you again just who’s in charge here?”

She threaded her fingers with his. “Yeah, why don’t you do that?” She raised an auburn brow. “Would that be something we’d need to go back to the apartment to take care of?”

He nodded. “Hell yeah.” He took a couple of long strides down the hall, tugging on her hand before veering off. “Apartment’s too far,” he said with darkened eyes. “In here.” He twisted the door handle on an empty practice room. Turning back to Avery with a wicked grin, he said in a low voice, “Good. There’s a lock.”

Avery’s face had drained of color. Her emerald eyes were huge as she stared at something down the hallway.

“What the hell?” Marcus said, looking that way while drawing her protectively close to his side.

“What are
you
doing here?” she gasped.

(rez’ uh-loo’shuh n)

n
.

A course of action determined or decided upon..

“WHAT ARE YOU doing here? Avery gasped, glaring back at the man who stood across from her in Black Cat’s downstairs corridor. He looked so much older and thinner. The thick black hair she remembered had gone almost completely grey.

“I came to see you.” Worry lines etched the corners of eyes the same deep emerald as her own.

“You shouldn’t have,” she replied bitterly, her heart seething with anger. “I don’t want you here.”

To say it was a shock to see him was an understatement. She was furious that he had found her. Seeing him here brought to the forefront emotions she had tried to leave forever behind.

Marcus’ hard forearm tightened around her slender waist. “Who
is
this guy, Ace?”