Love Resisted (The Real Love Series) (15 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

ALLIE looked down at her phone as it vibrated again. She knew, though, without looking it was Mike. His persistence was nothing if not predictable. It hadn’t even been forty-eight hours since their date so, per dating protocols, he really shouldn’t even be contacting her yet, right
? Oh, what the hell do I know
, she asked herself. In the past five years, she hadn’t ‘dated’ anyone. She’d had a few one-nighters, but no dates, no feelings involved. One-night stands weren’t something she liked to do, but they were her reality. What happened between her and Mike couldn’t happen again for that reason. Resisting feelings wasn’t possible around Mike.

Being with him made her remember what it was like to be
that
woman. The woman that was cherished by a man, loved. Feelings led to love, love led to pain, end of story. She was lucky she was able to get away from him the night of their date. After they left the hospital, she managed to pretend she slept most of the way back and accepted his help getting to her door. He told her that he didn’t want her to be alone, but she was used to that. Alone was her norm.

Silencing her phone, she slid it back into her pocket as she waited for her next client to show. When the bell chimed over the door, signaling a customer, she turned but couldn’t see the person who had come in because they were hidden from the waist up by a large flower
arrangement. It was grossly oversized and slightly humorous to watch the young, skinny guy try and maneuver it onto the reception counter. The salon receptionist squealed and scooted past Allie in her too-high platform heels and short skirt, attempting to get to the flowers. Julie was a loud, flashy, slightly immature twenty-something, but she cracked Allie up.

Allie sat down in her chair and picked up a magazine as Julie announced to the rest of the women in the salon, “All right everybody, the lucky winner of today’s flower delivery, and the envy of every woman in here is … Allie Baxter.”

Slapping the magazine closed in surprise, she looked to Julie who was standing at the end of the reception counter with a smirk on her face. “Don’t even think I’m going to lift this thing up and bring it to your station. It’s insanely huge.”

“Bullshit. Those are so not for me. You must’ve read the card wrong, Julie. Try again,” Allie said as she opened the magazine up again.

“I’m not an idiot, Allie. The blonde hair might fool some people, but I can read. And let’s face it—this isn’t my natural color, but you already knew that. Should I open the card to see what it says inside?” Julie asked, teasing.

Jumping up quickly, Allie said, “No! All right, I’ll look at the card. But those are gonna need to chill at reception for the day. I have no space at my station for something like that; it’ll block the whole mirror.”

Snatching the card out of Julie’s hand, she looked at it. The front only had her name on it, and it was sealed. Of course she already knew who they were from, but she was reluctant to see what the card said. She hadn’t taken his calls since Saturday night, so it could say anything like, ‘
Thanks for the ride in my truck, take care
.’ Or maybe, ‘
Can’t wait to hit that again
.’ She did have a few other ideas, but that made her equally as nervous. Mike wasn’t the type of guy to say horrible crap like that, but those would be easier for her to take over the other possibilities. Her world already felt unbalanced because of him, and considering how honest and forward he always was, it was most likely something she wouldn’t be able to deny.

She was still staring at the card when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Startled for a second, she took it out and looked at the message. It was from him.

             
It’s not going to bite you … open it.

Quickly looking up, she glanced out the window to see Mike’s truck parked on the street with him standing in front of it. He was wearing his sunglasses and a sexy smile. It was the same sexy smile he gave her the other night, and again, a tingling sensation erupted across her skin. Not sure if she should go outside and meet him or open the card, she chose the latter. Slipping her phone back in her pocket, she took the card out and smiled when she saw that
it was written by him.

Allie, I know you don’t do cliché, but these flowers are anything but, so I took a risk to get your
attention. I told you you’re mine now. I’ve had a taste of you, and I’m coming after more. So you can try and hide, but I’m very determined and I know just where to find you … Mike

When she looked back out the window, she watched as Mike climbed up into the cab of his truck. The same cab where everything in her world
had shifted. He looked out his window and smiled at her again before pulling away from the curb. She was holding the card to her chest and staring out at the spot he had just vacated when Julie asked, “Oh my God, were the flowers from
that
guy?”

Looking back down at the card, she nodded. Julie squealed again. “Damn girl, you play hard to get for how long and then land a man like that. I might need to readjust my game plan.” Allie snorted a laugh and looked at her coworker, who was now adjusting her cleavage to a more pronounced position.

“Eenie, meenie, minie, moe is not a game plan, Julie.”

“Hey, I only did that once. It was impossible to decide which
hottie I wanted,” she whined.

“Glad to hear that.”

She was still standing by the flowers when her next customer rushed in, out of breath and apologetic for being a few minutes late. Allie reassured her then set about taking care of business. Trying not to distract herself by looking at the flowers repeatedly, she proceeded with the hair in front of her. Since it was her last appointment of the day, she was heading over to the hospital afterward to see Gillian. With another glance at the flowers, she smiled. It’d been a long time since she’d received flowers from a man other than Marc. And it’d been a long time since she’d received flowers from Marc. This thought didn’t make her nearly as sad as it would have in the past.

MIKE knew Gillian was awake since he had just passed Jake in the hallway as he was heading to pick up some food for his woman, who apparently had a craving for pizza. Jake invited him to join them, so Mike volunteered to keep Gillian company while Jake was gone. Her door was open, only a curtain blocked his view of her. “Knock, knock?”

“I’m only a fan of knock-knock jokes if you’re under four feet tall,” Gillian mused.

When he peeked around the corner, he smiled and said, “I’ve been invited to lunch, mind if I wait with you?”

“Thank God it’s you, Mike! It’s about time I get a visitor that won’t freak the hell out if I make a noise,” she said in a frustrated tone.

Mike huffed a laugh. “Have they all been that bad?”

She sighed. “No, and I feel bad saying it like they haven’t been totally taking care of me. It’s just that I’m the one who takes care of everyone, and now I’m strapped to a hospital bed just waiting for the big show. It’s very frustrating.”

He took a seat in what he assumed was Jake’s post and smiled. “Hey, at least there isn’t bubble wrap.”

Gillian giggled. “Thank God.” Rubbing her large belly, she asked, “What brings you around? Cruising the hospital halls for chicks?”

“Ha! Good one, but no. I’ll stick with the chick I’ve been after for months.”

“And how’s that workin’ out for ya?”

Shaking his head, he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “She’s a tough one, Gillian. Just when I think I’ve caught her, she squirms right out of my hands again. It’s like if I give her time to process what’s happening, she’ll bolt.”

Gillian gave him a sympathetic look and said, “I’m sorry. She’s my best friend, but she can be a total pain in the ass sometimes. But Mike, do you think she’s worth the effort?”

“Do you think I’d keep at it if she wasn’t?”

“I knew I liked you, Mike Lawson. You’re perfect for her, you know. So keep pushing, she needs it. And if it helps, I see the way she looks at you, and I can see how she feels,” Gillian encouraged.

“Thanks, it helps a little.” He winked at her just as Jake came in with pizza.

The three of them ate and hung out for a while. They chatted, and Mike discovered Allie had volunteered to babysit her the boys for the next few evenings for them. Apparently Gillian’s blood pressure hadn’t come down far enough to send her home. So the hospital planned to keep her for at least the week, and if it wasn’t under control by then, they planned to induce. Mike made a mental note to help distract Allie around that time.

Feeling like he’d occupied enough of their time, he got up and thanked Jake and kissed Gillian on the cheek. She whispered, “Be pushy.”

He smiled. “I think I can handle pushy. Get some rest and take care of yourself.” With a final wink, he made his way to the elevators.

When the doors opened and he found Allie standing there, wearing that same shocked expression, he couldn’t help himself. Stepping into the elevator, he stopped right in front of her, blocking her exit. Shaking her head, she said, “You’re everywhere.”

He let the elevator doors close behind him, and as she went to say something about that, he pressed her against the wall. Slipping his hand into her hair, he tilted her head and claimed her mouth. Her surprise was to his advantage as his tongue swept past her open lips. It was only a second or two before she responded, and he felt her tongue dueling with his as her hands gripped his back. Pressing his body firmly against hers, he let her feel his desire for her.

Slowing the kiss, he nipped her lower lip as he pulled back and looked at her. When her eyes fluttered opened, and her grip on his back loosened, he smiled at her and said, “You’re right, I’m everywhere. So you might as well get used to it, Allie Baxter.”

“Why?” Allie said breathlessly.

Pressing another kiss to her lips, he said, “Because I want to be. And whether you want to believe it or not, you want me to be, too. So you might as well stop resisting.”

Reaching behind him, he pressed the button to open the doors. When they opened, he scooted her out the door and gave her light smack on the ass. When she gasped and turned to look at him, he said, “We have plans tomorrow night with your nephews, so I’ll see you then.”

He smiled as the doors closed on her shocked face. Breaking down Allie’s resistance was going to be very rewarding.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ALLIE was tired. It had been a long week. The emotional rollercoaster of everything from her date with Mike last weekend, to the stress of Gillian being in the hospital was a lot to take. Top it off with being in charge of entertaining the Goofball Twins, aka Dylan and Ryan, and you could say she was dead on her feet. Now that Logan had come by and picked up the boys, she was looking forward to a glass of wine and some quiet time.

She had just cuddled into the corner of her couch and turned on the television when she heard a knock at the door. Sighing because her tired body didn’t want to get up, she made her way to answer it. Not like she didn’t know who it was. Unlocking the door, she didn’t even look to see if it was him as she made her way back to the couch, leaving the door open behind her. Mike had been making his presence known all week, coming over when she was watching her nephews. He did stuff like bring take out, watch movies, even kick the soccer ball around outside. The smug bastard was a natural when it came to entertaining the boys. Which of course were all just more points in his favor. She was certain there were flaws, but she hadn’t found anything worth remembering yet.

Once she had resumed her position, she looked up at Mike, saying, “If you plan on staying, you better have brought your indoor voice, ‘cause this is the quiet condo tonight.” She trailed off into a whisper at the end.

He laughed as he plopped down in the middle of the couch and stretched his arms across the back of it. “Yeah, those two can be kind of loud. Which is surprising since Ryan lets Dylan do all the talking.”

She snorted a laugh before taking a sip of her wine. “Very true.” Looking at him over the rim she said, “I’d offer you some, too, but that would mean getting up to fetch it for you if your answer was yes, and I’m too tired to assume that risk.”

“I like an honest woman. Would it be okay if I were to get it myself?” he asked.

She shrugged as she pointed the remote and started scrolling through channels. “Knock yourself out; it’s not like you don’t know your way around here.”

He got up to do just that, tossing an envelope on the coffee table as he did. With a quick glance, she saw her name written across it. Since curiosity beat out relaxation every time, she scooted over to reach it. Examining the outside didn’t tell her anything more than it already had. She was staring at it when Mike came back in and said, “Go ahead, it’s not going to bite you.”

“For your information, just because I like to check out the outside of an envelope before I open it, doesn’t mean I think it’s going to bite me.”

When he rejoined her on the couch, he was closer to her than before, and she realized that was her fault. She really should’ve gotten his glass for him, because then she could’ve relocated to the big comfy seat. Taking her attention away from the envelope, she gave him a questioning look. “Is there something wrong with the rest of the couch, or do you just love to crowd me?”

That smirk of his appeared as he replied, “I’m sure the rest of the couch is just fine, but it’s better down on this end.” He then picked up her legs and shifted her body effortlessly so that hers were stretched over his. She quickly adjusted her hold on the wine so as not to spill before glaring at him.

“Careful, Lawson, I’d hate to waste the wine, but I’d be seriously pissed if you ruined my carpet.”

Smiling, Mike said, “Sorry, babe.” Then he slipped his hands to the back of her calves and started massaging the muscles. She felt her eyes roll back as she dropped her head to the arm of the couch and sighed at the sheer ecstasy of it. When he focused both hands on one leg, she couldn’t help but moan. She also wasn’t the least bit embarrassed by it, since it felt so damn good.

“You’re hired. Whatever it is you want, it’s yours. Just don’t stop doing that,” she said in a voice that expressed her appreciation.

“Oh, really? All it takes to get what I want is a leg rub … good to know,” Mike said, moving his attention to her other leg. “I wonder what I can get if I rub other parts of your body?”

Allie took her free leg and thumped it against his chest playfully. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I sure would. How ‘bout I test it out,” he said as he moved his hands down and started stroking her foot. When his thumbs dug into her instep, she knew she was goner. Sighing loudly, she placed her wine on the table because she was getting a little too relaxed. She then allowed herself
to completely settle in. If Mike was willing to touch and rub her feet, who was she to stop him?

His laugh caught her attention, so she opened one eye and asked, “Is something funny?”

With a big smile on his face, still rubbing her instep, he said, “Funny could be one way to describe what I see, but I would also use words like, adorable, sexy, and desirable.”

He punctuated his statement with a look that penetrated her body and made her considerably warmer. Trying to avoid letting him know how
much she was affected by him, she closed her eye and didn’t respond. She felt Mike shift a little, then heard the channel change, all while one hand managed to continue rubbing her foot. When she heard the baseball game come on, she smiled and said, “Oh, so it was the remote that you wanted. You didn’t need to go all out and massage my aching feet for that, Lawson. I would’ve put the game on for you. Oh well, my gain.”

“Not sure I would classify myself in the losing category over here, Baxter. It’s certainly no hardship to touch you,” he said. Assuming he was watching the television, she opened her eyes to look at him,
but met his heated gaze. Feeling like she’d been caught, blushing and turning her head, she proceeded to watch the game.

After an inning or two, she couldn’t remember how long, since he was totally distracting her with the rub down, he asked, “You going to open the envelope?”

“Oh, I forgot about that. What is it?” she asked as she reached for where she had left it.

“It’s an invitation.
It’s really advanced notice, but I’d really like it if you could come with me,” Mike said in a hesitant voice, which was a little out of character. He didn’t normally get shy with her, so she was even more curious about the invitation.

Silently, she opened the envelope and read the card inside. It was an invite to a benefit to raise funds for breast cancer. Confused as to why he would be hesitant to invite her to something like this, it took her a moment to get to the reason. Upon reading further, she saw that it was a benefit hosted by his family, in honor of his late wife, Elizabeth.

She gave him a small smile and asked, “You do this for your wife every year?”

Mike nodded. “Yeah. My sister and parents helped start it a year after we lost her. It turned into an annual thing we do, among other stuff in the month of October. Then we take all the proceeds and donate it at the walk in early November.” He turned his attention toward her legs as he continued to rub them.

It was kind of sweet that he looked so nervous about it. She could only assume it was because asking a woman on a date to the benefit for your late wife would be a little awkward. Her dilemma was that she was trying to avoid events that resembled dates since their last one. Dates led to the possibility of sex, and sex with Mike, although fantastic, was something she should avoid. With sex came feelings. And those feelings weren’t safe. She did want to support a breast cancer benefit, though. What person wouldn’t? So she made an exception. “Of course I’d go. Is it invite only? Because I’m sure my friends would love to contribute or help in some way or another.”

Mike smiled and said, “Thanks. And yeah, I already have them on the list.
They don’t go out for a few weeks yet, I just wanted to ask you first.”

“Great.” A few moments of silence passed between them, so she added, “Does it help? Doing the fundraising for breast cancer
research?”

She watched him consider her words before answering, “I guess you could say it helps. It’s a nice way to contribute to a cause that’s had a direct effect on our lives. The first year or two were a little difficult, but it gets easier each year.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing that you have that, and maybe that’s why it’s easier for you. I’m not that fortunate.” she mused as she dropped her gaze to her hands.

“Fortunate?” he questioned.

Bringing her attention back to him, she responded, “Yeah, things were probably easier for you because you had stuff like this.”

Mike dropped his arms to his side, giving her a look of disbelief. “
You know you’re not the only person to have loved and lost, Allie? You don’t own the title on that pity party. I know you’re not delusional, so I suggest you come up with a different angle.”

His anger was evident in his tone, but she didn’t understand why. Finally registering his comment, she pulled her legs off his lap as she snapped back, “Angle? What that hell does that mean? And fuck you and your pity party comment. I know I’m not the only person who’s lost someone, and I never said I was.”

Mike stood up and turned to look at her. She did the same; no way was she keeping the lower vantage point in what was clearly becoming an argument. “Well, you sure act like it sometimes. Marc dying was an event in your life, albeit a tragic one, but that’s it, a one-time thing. Yet you choose to make it your whole world and use it as a shield to push people away. People back off when you bring it up because what can they say to that? They didn’t lose a spouse …”

Stepping closer, he glared down at her. She stood her ground and scowled right back as he continued, “The problem is that I
did
. I know exactly what it feels like. I know how it can consume you if you let it. I know exactly how permanent it is, so I won’t back down when you use it as an excuse.”

“Excuse? You can stand there and accuse me of using my husband’s death as an excuse? An excuse for what?”

“To not move on. To stay in the past,” he stated very matter of fact.

“You’re an asshole. I’m not using it as an excuse. How can I when it’s the truth? And yeah, you lost Elizabeth, but you were able to prepare for it, where I wasn’t! He was there, and then he was just ripped away from me. But you … you were lucky you got to say goodbye!”

Allie watched as Mike physically recoiled at her words. They were out before she knew it, and the regret at saying them held her throat in a tight grip. She didn’t mean it the way it came out, but the words were out there now. He took a step back from her, hurt and disbelief evident on his face, quickly followed by anger. They were silent for a moment, and she wanted to say something, anything, but he beat her to it.

“Lucky … are you serious?” Shaking his head, he turned and paced back a few steps as he ran his hands through his hair. Before turning back to her, he took a deep breath, dropped his shoulders, and gave her a look of complete sadness. “You’re right, Allie. I’m one lucky bastard. Unlike you, I got to say goodbye to my wife.”

She was confused, because even though she said the words, she knew they weren’t right. That wasn’t what she meant, but how did you take words like that back? There was silence again as they watched each other. Her need to comfort him from the pain she just caused was there, but she couldn’t bring herself to move to him. “Mike …”

He put up his hand and halted her
words. “No. You’re right. I’m lucky because you didn’t get to say goodbye, and I did. Do you want to know how many times I got to say it to Elizabeth? I lost count actually, but I would guess it was somewhere close to a thousand times. You want to know why else I’m a lucky bastard?” He paused, apparently waiting for her to answer, but she just stared at him. His voice possessed a deep level of hurt and anger as he continued, “Not only did I get to say goodbye to her countless times, I also got to watch her wither away and die right in front of me. I had the privilege of watching her go through surgeries and treatments that physically changed her right before our eyes and even made her beg for death. I was there to witness her realize that her family was going to live a life without her, and there wasn’t a goddamn thing any of us could do about it.”

Allie could feel the tears streaming down her face as she listened to him. Ashamed of herself for saying words that brought out this kind of hurt. She may have been resisting him, but it was clear now that she didn’t deserve this man. Mike moved farther away from her, backing up to the front door as he continued to stare. When he reached the door, he put his hand on the handle and started to turn away, but she caught sight of the tear roll down his cheek before he did.

Before stepping out the now open door, he turned and looked over his shoulder and said, “But I’d have to say, the thing that makes me the luckiest, was when I had to explain to my son over and over again why his mommy wasn’t with us anymore. I had to help him understand why Mommy looked different and why medicine didn’t make her better. So thanks for reminding me exactly how lucky I am. I had almost forgotten.”

And with that, he walked out her door. The slamming of the screen made her ju
mp, and she couldn’t control the sobs. Covering her mouth to try and hold another one in, her other hand rubbed at her chest. It hurt, her chest physically ached, as she continued crying. It hurt because she was the cause of the pain on that sweet, generous man’s face. The self-loathing she felt was deserved, as she realized her selfishness apparently had no boundaries. But the pain she was feeling right now wasn’t just her own; it was his. He had repeatedly opened himself up to her, and then she turned around and threw her own insecurities at him.