Love Renewed (Entwined Hearts #3) (4 page)

“Oh God, yes!”

I look down at the woman between my thighs and grimace. I just wanted a fuck. A release. Not her voice splitting my skull. She thinks it’s sexy. It’s not. While I bang into her over and over again I should be building up to the few seconds of pure bliss I need right now. Not thinking about how I should have gagged her.

Leaning forward over her, I slip my hand around her throat, watching as her slender neck disappears under my palm, positioning my thumb and forefinger on each side of her jaw, holding her in place. She automatically tilts her head back slightly and opens her mouth, but this time without sound. This is turning her on, which works for me because I wasn’t about to stop. I can feel her pulse through my hand and so squeeze my fingers, tightening on each thrust in. Her eyes widen and flick to the corner of my mouth then back to my eyes. I know what she sees. It’s what they all see…the only thing I allow.

Emptiness, darkness and cruelty
.

They need to know. It’s who I am.

It’s who I’ll always be.

I finish up. Pulling myself out of her and out of the bed, her eyes snap open and she stares at me.

“What are you doing?” she whines.

I look over at her while pulling my jeans on. “Going home.”

“Well, you could stay?” she asks, with a smile. “We could do that again.” Her smile turns into a smirk

“No thanks,” I reply. Mentally going over the list of things I had on me and making sure I’ve got them all before leaving.

You never come back.

Never.

Rule One—If you leave your phone, wallet, house keys, etcetera, you get new ones. New phone, new wallet—Fuck! You get a new house if you have to. But you never come back.
Period.

She frowns at me, I can see her brain working. “Okay, do you want to meet up later this week?” She’s grasping at straws and is sounding desperate.

“Not gonna happen. This was tonight. Just tonight. I told you when we were at the bar. This was a one-time deal. I fuck you. I leave.” My mouth twitches. “I’ve fucked you. Now I’m leaving.”

She scowls as my eyes land on my jacket.

“You complete wanker!” she shouts.

“Not sure what you expected?” I reply grabbing my jacket and heading to the bedroom door.

“Well thanks for
fucking me!”
she clips angrily as I walk away.

I salute her. “Pleasure babe.” Then walk out of her bedroom and her life, and I go back to feeling the cold. In more ways than one.

With my hands above my head gripping the door frame, I look over my family. Con has baby Eleanor on his knees, his big hands cup her head and hold her back and neck. She’s three months now, and turning into a little character. The little blonde mop of hair that sits on the top of her head is sticking up in all directions and her big blue eyes are constantly alert. Pea says the colour will change soon. I hope not. The blue is beautiful and pure. Con holds her like she’s the most delicate gift in the world.

I’m happy for what Pea has. This family is a blessing for all of us. My eyes flick over to Pea and Soph. They’re kneeling on either side of the coffee table, pouring over the wedding paperwork. Vegas is only next week, all the information of what they have managed to set up via the Internet, arrived yesterday, which meant a family get together to go over all the details. I don’t mind being summoned. It’s something that I’ve had to get used to. It’s strange having a family after all these years. Sometimes my automatic response is still to pull away, but these people love me. What I do know, is that I care for them. I’d kill for them. So I’ll be what they need, in any way I can be. I’m glad that Saul and I have a good relationship. I’m proud of the man he is and wish I could be more like him. To have some of his strength, his passion, rather than feeling like I have nothing left in me to give anymore. While the girls are immersed in the wedding crap, Saul’s eyes are burning into Soph with complete love. In the same way I assess people, Saul does too. But his is with a cleanness, a kindness. He’s the person I wish I was. He hasn’t been hardened in the way I have. And I sure as fuck hope he’s never killed.

“Have you booked everything Dane?” Pea asks and it brings me out of my thoughts.

“Yes, it’s all done. Didn’t want you women nagging at me,” I reply with a smirk and a wink, which gets a pillow thrown at me.

Feeling a buzz coming from my back pocket and pulling out my phone, I see a text. Glancing at the room to check everyone is busy, so I walk away to read it.

Cassandra:
I want to play. Are you free to come over in an hour?

I close my eyes and think for a moment. Cassandra is a regular fuck for me. It’s not something I normally do. I never go back. Always sticking to rule number one. Cassandra is the exception, though. I’ve known her for eight years, and except for the time I was dating Soph, I have regularly fucked Cass. We met through work. She was a model—I’d only just starting building my own company—and I was still regularly modelling myself. It was all a front of course. A way to keep my dark side a secret, and also a way to keep myself in check, making sure I was doing normal things and not slipping completely underground.

The first time I laid eyes on her my dick twitched. She was the bombshell you see on the car calendars. She isn’t your typical model. She has tits and arse, but because she spends so much time in the gym her body’s still as tight as fuck. Her bright auburn hair is long and poker straight. Her smile blinding. She’s damaged, though. Like me. When we first met, we were doing a shoot together, she instantly disliked me. She assumed I was going to be like every other prick, and wanted to chat her up. I cleared that up pretty quick.

“You can stop looking at me like I have a disease. I’m not about to pounce on you,” I told her.

She arched her perfect eyebrow at me and replied, “So you don’t want to take me out just to get into my knickers then?”

I smirked. “I don’t go out on dates. I fuck. End of. There would be no flowers or romance with me, just hard, sweaty fucking.”

“Sounds perfect,” she answered, shocking me. I hadn’t believed her, women all say that shit to get you between their legs, then when you leave, they call you a bastard.

“Okay. There’s a hotel across the road. After the shoot, we can go over there. Check in. I’ll fuck you. Then I’ll leave. There will be nothing else. I have nothing else to offer,” I challenged her.

“Deal. I need a release. I don’t want anything from anyone. I’m happy as I am,” she replied with her arms crossed. I took in her stance, which was anything but welcoming and wondered how the day would end.

It ended with one of the best fucks of my life. When it was time to leave, Cass just smiled and said, “See you around.”

We saw each other five times over the next year, each time we ended up fucking. It was the fifth fuck when I decided to swap phone numbers. I’d already broken my cardinal rule, so I might as well have good sex while it lasted. It’s now been eight years and we still call each other a few times a year.

Looking back at my phone my fingers move over the buttons of their own accord.

Me:
I’ll be there. You better answer the door in nothing but heels. Then I want you on your knees.

Slipping the phone back in my pocket, I walk into the lounge and over to Eleanor, bending down and kissing her head. Then making my way over to the girls doing the same.

“I’m out,” I tell them. I can see disappointment move over Pea’s face and questions run through Saul’s eyes. I ignore it all, smile and spin around. Making my way to the door and to my car. Ready for another release.

Arriving at Cass’s, I buzz up. The click of the door lets me know I can enter. Making it up to her floor and walking to her door, I check the handle and as always it’s unlocked. Opening the door I walk in, my eyes home in on Cass, who’s in the middle of the room. She’s sitting in profile, completely naked. On her knees, with her bum resting on what looks like red heels. The long straight auburn hair that usually hangs loose is in a bun. She glances over at me and smiles.

“I’m ready.”

It’s enough to jolt me back into action. Slamming the door behind me I walk over to her, unhooking the buttons on my jeans as I move, pulling my now hard dick out. She gazes up at me. I close a fist around her bun.

“Open your mouth. You’re going to suck me. I want to fill your throat until I hear you gag. Then I’ll fuck your face. If you do a good job, I’ll return the favour.”

She nods and opens her mouth ready for us both to lose ourselves for a while.

A few hours later, feeling relaxed and getting ready to leave, Cass says, “I saw your brother.” Stiffening I turn to face her. Now I’m staring at her in a different way than I ever have before.

“What the fuck?” The growl comes up from my throat.

“I wasn’t sure. Now I am,” she says with a shrug.

“You want to run this shit by me once again?” I demand

“Calm down Dane. It doesn’t mean anything. I was training at Murphy’s. I had to stop going to my normal place.”

I close my eyes and sigh. I don’t like the different sides of my life to become entangled. My family is the small oasis I’ve got from my real life. Nothing touches that. Nothing.

“Stay away from Murphy’s.”

Cass moves from her recently fucked lounging state to sitting up, her back ramrod straight. “Don’t tell me what to do Dane. I’m not some fucking silly little slut with puppy dog eyes for you. You can’t boss me around.” She’s aggravated, and I realise this is the first time we’ve ever had cross words.

“Stay away from my family and we won’t have an issue,” I tell her.

She rolls her eyes at me. “For God’s sake Dane, I’m not chasing your family around. I couldn’t go to my gym for a few weeks as they were renovating. I didn’t want to go to a female filled bitchy gym, so I opted for Murphy’s.” She shrugs her shoulders. “Figured there would be fewer women, so less drama. What I didn’t expect was to see you there, working out with a guy who I’d chatted to a week or so before. Anyway, I overheard you all talking and pieced it together. Also, there have been whispers back at work, between the models. Whispers that you and Soph had…well, you know. Apparently, Soph and Carlie got into it and some things came out. Still, I now know that Soph is with your brother. I briefly considered him…before realising he has a girlfriend.” She winks at me and I’m not sure whether it’s just her usual brand of cocky, or if she’s expecting a response. I don’t give her one. Instead choosing to just stand there with my arms crossed and considering whether it’s time to end this
‘thing’
with Cass.

She grunts and shakes her head, bringing her hands up into fists and shaking them in the air. “You drive me crazy Dane! I can see what you’re thinking. I’ve known you and been fucking you for eight years! Gah! You’ll be the death of me!” Shaking her head and mumbling to herself, she looks back at me. “Listen, I still don’t want anything more than fucking from you. I have no intention of interacting with your family. It was an accident, but taking into account the situation we have going on, I figured it would be best to be honest with you. I thought I owed you that much. Shit, now I wish I hadn’t have bothered!” She’s pissed and waving her arms all over the place to get her point across. I can’t help what happens next. I erupt with laughter, which makes her scowl.

Propping herself against the headboard of the bed, Cass watches me with a small smile. When I stop laughing she whispers, “In eight years, I’ve never seen you laugh, not at work, not when I’ve spotted you out, and not with me. I like what your new family have done to you Dane. They’ve given you purpose and they’ve given you love.”

My smile disappears, instead I’m now gritting my teeth and I have to physically reign myself in. She’s right. I’ve never been like this before. I’ve never let my control slip. It’s happening more often lately. I’m changing…and I’m not sure I like it.

I take a breath and sit on the edge of the bed, my shoulders dropping. “I saw Nova,” I tell Cass and she springs back into a sitting position.