Love on the Rocks (Love on Tour #1) (16 page)

22

The door crashed into the wall, sending splinters of wood flying everywhere. Brynn released me like I was on fire.

Sean made it to me in a few strides and pulled me to him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I sheltered myself in his arms. It worked. I quickly regained the feeling of safety.

Henry, followed closely by Mike, stalked toward Brynn, pushing him and his friends against the back wall.

“What did you do to Baby?” Henry demanded, as he towered over Brynn.

Brynn and his buddies looked downright terrified. Part of me felt vindicated. The other part was worried.

I grabbed the back of Henry’s shirt and tugged. He didn’t look at me. His gaze stayed on Brynn, but he moved back a fraction of an inch to appease me.

“Henry, it’s okay. He’s just an asshole. It doesn’t matter,” I said.

“It matters to me.”

“What the hell is going on here?”

I turned around to see Alonso and Lyle in the doorway. They looked at me, cowered in Sean’s arms, and then at Henry and Mike.

“We heard a scream,” Lyle said.

Henry’s eyes never left Brynn. “Yeah, I was just trying to figure out what this asshole did to upset Baby.”

Alonso and Lyle walked into the room and completed the half circle around Brynn and his friends. Sean and I were on the other side of this human wall.

“What the fuck did he do?” Alonso asked.

Brynn finally spoke. “I… I… uh,” he started. “We were just talking… and… uh… I pissed her off. You know how ex-girlfriends can be?”

“No, why don’t you tell me, asshole, how can they be?” Henry asked.

But Brynn didn’t get a chance to make something up, because Sean looked down and saw the bite mark on my neck.

“Holy fuck,” he whispered.

“Brynn, go!” I yelled.

But there was no leaving. Even if Brynn was capable of getting past all those men and to the door, he appeared to be frozen in place.

“I didn’t mean to piss her off. I swear. Actually I was hoping we could get back together.” Brynn said hurriedly. “She’s amazing. You guys must see that to be helping her out like this.”

But his rambling explanation went unnoticed by everyone but me, because Henry looked to see what had gotten Sean’s attention. He turned and leaned over me. There was no way to hide what Brynn had done. It was clear as day. The mark, just above my clavicle, had already turned red. Distinct impressions made by human teeth were clear on my skin.

The branding iron was still smoking, and the cowboy was about to go down.

Sean’s body was so stiff and unmoving that it was terrifying. I pushed on him, trying to will him toward the door. He let out a sound from deep in his throat. It was low and quiet, but it seemed to echo throughout the room, bouncing off the walls.

“Guys,” I said as loudly as I could. “I don’t want a bloodbath here. I think we should just go, send Brynn and his friends on their way, and avoid a lawsuit. Right Mike?”

They were completely ignoring me. “What the fuck?” Henry asked, leaning over Brynn again. “You bit her?”

Brynn shrugged. “It was our thing. Dani likes it rough.”

For a split second I thought maybe this argument would work on Henry. If he asked me, I would lie, just to get us out of this situation.

But he didn’t ask me. He turned to look at Sean. I didn’t think Sean was capable of movement at that moment, but he managed to shake his head, just the tiniest bit. Henry turned back to Brynn, fire in his eyes.

Oh shit. He was going to die.

“I’m not kidding!” I yelled. “Everybody make room. Let him out of here, now!”

“Baby,” Mike said, finally tearing his gaze away from Brynn and looking at me. “I promise that no one will go to the hospital or jail. Do you believe me?”

I nodded weakly.

Then, for the first time ever, Mike gave Sean an order. “Sean, take Baby and get out of here.”

Sean was having trouble. By this point his muscles were literally rippling, but he was still frozen to the spot.

“Sean, take Baby,” Henry said forcefully.

Sean didn’t answer. Instead, he started moving across the room, taking me with him.

I babbled all the way back to his green room. “I think maybe I should check on them. Do you think I could leave you in your room and I could go back and just check in?” He tightened his grip on my waist and kept walking. “Or maybe I should call Mike and see how it’s going.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Sean took it away from me and shoved it in his own pocket. “I’m just a little worried right now. And maybe a little freaked out.” He kept walking.

When Sean and I reached the room, he ushered me in, gently pushed me a few feet away from him, shut the door and leaned against it.

I took a step toward him.

He held out his hand. “Just stay right there for a minute, Baby,” he said. “I need to calm down.”

“You’re upset.”

“I’ve never wanted to hit someone so badly in my entire life. And Baby, I’ve hit people for much, much less.” He rubbed his eyes and took several deep breaths.

I took another step toward him.

“Baby, my whole body is tingling. Just stay where you are,”

I moved closer. I was close enough to touch him. “You won’t hurt me.” I said.

“Of course not.”

“Then let me help you.”

I lifted his t-shirt and ducked into it. I ran my hands gently up and down his sides. I kissed his chest, again and again. I could hear his breathing start to become more regular. Eventually, his hands were no longer in fists at his sides. They hung loose for a moment. Then, as I moved lower, down to his stomach, he pulled me up by the shoulders, wrapped his arms around me, and buried his face in my neck.

“Are you okay?” he whispered. He kissed the bite mark tenderly.

“I’m fine now. I was scared for a minute, but I knew you would come if I yelled.”

“I had no idea it was like that. I thought he was a jerk because he left you for someone else and made you feel ugly. I didn’t realize he was abusive.” Sean held me tighter. “I swear I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you if I’d known.”

“It’s complicated. And I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?” he asked, pulling me back so he could look into my eyes.

“I was ashamed.”

“Oh fuck,” he said, reburying himself in my neck.

****

I never did find out exactly what happened to Brynn. Mike assured me that he kept his promise – no hospital, no jail. And none of the guys would tell me anything more than that.

Sean wanted to know about my relationship with Brynn and what had happened between us. But I needed time to think about it myself before I could have a conversation with him. I had allowed someone to make me feel a certain way about myself for a very long time. Those feelings had embedded themselves in me, and now I was extracting them one painful thorn at a time.

There was so much about my relationship with Brynn that had affected me. The reason I’d been afraid to discuss the future with Sean in that hot tub, the reason I’d had trouble believing he wanted me in the first place, it all came down to deep-seated beliefs about myself. And now, to be with Sean, in this extraordinary situation, I was going to have to pull out, examine, and crush each one of those beliefs. And I came to understand that Sean was my partner in this process. So a couple nights after Atlanta I told him the hardest part.

We were in Charlotte, North Carolina. Just moments after arriving back at the hotel we’d undressed each other in a frenzy. He was still sweaty from the show, and I was still buzzing from the excitement of watching him on stage. The sex was fast, furious, passionate, and fantastic.

Afterward, we were splayed out on the king size bed, still catching our breath, when I brought out this little thorn to examine.

“So, I always thought I was not so good in bed,” I said.

“What?” Sean’s surprise was clear in his tone. “Say that again.”

“Brynn told me I was a cold fish. Right when we first started dating. I didn’t have much experience then, so I believed him. He said that the lack of passion and excitement in our sex life was because of me. I didn’t know any better.”

“That is absolutely the most insane–”

“Wait, let me finish,” I interrupted. “I believed it. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have cared what he thought. Hell, I should have dumped him and found someone else. But I didn’t. I thought maybe something was wrong with me. So I read books, and I took suggestions from friends. I tried a few new things. Brynn sat through my experimentation patiently for a while. Then, about a year into our relationship, after I’d moved in with him and made him a major part of my life, he told me that he was going to take control of our sex life. He said that if I wanted to make it better I would just let him lead in the bedroom completely.”

Sean sucked in a deep breath, but stayed quiet.

“He did. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. But I thought if I could tolerate it for a while then things would go back to normal. They didn’t. And I lived like that, for almost a year. I actually started to hate myself for letting it go on. And honestly, I have no idea why I did. I run from everything. I always have. Even when I was kid, when my parents fought, I would leave the house, take off somewhere. More than once they called the cops to find me. But not this time. I stayed and I took it. And it wasn’t like I loved him.”

Sean was so still I thought I might have to check his breathing.

“I guess I thought I loved him at the time. I don’t know. That’s all part of what I’m still trying to figure out.”

Sean pulled me tighter against him. “Maybe you didn’t run because you didn’t love him.”

“Wow. That makes so much sense.”

I ran when my parents were fighting because I loved them. I ran from my future because I loved myself. And when I saw that girl kissing Sean, I ran from it, because I loved him.

“God. I feel so much better.”

“But he still fucked up your self-esteem and the way you view yourself sexually.”

“I think I’m doing okay on the sex thing. Things were better with the men since him. I dealt with my shit and figured out how to have healthy sexual relationships again. But it wasn’t until I met you that I really started to understand that there was nothing wrong with me. And with the right person, some love and respect, I can have a
very
good sex life.”

Sean waited a beat to make sure I was done. “Baby, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are a sensuous, passionate woman.”

“With you I am.”

“Damn right.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Baby, I am not in any way exaggerating when I say that sex with you is better than anything else on this planet.”

“Better than playing guitar?”

“Yes.”

“Better than being on stage?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Don’t even question it for a second.”

“I guess you better prove it to me,” I said, wrapping my leg around his waist.

23

We spent a lot of time vanquishing my demons. But we were ignoring Sean’s issues.

He was a serial monogamist. Which was certainly better than being a serial slut like Henry. But he’d never loved any of the women he’d been with. He cared about them, but if they left, it didn’t really bother him. And they rarely left. He mostly left them.

His feelings for me were completely new to him. Between that and his experience with his sister, we were dealing with extreme overprotectiveness. The situation with Brynn had the made the whole thing ten times worse.

We were nearing the end of the tour when I finally started to confront the situation. Instead of enabling Sean, I needed to start pushing his limits. So I arranged to go out into the world without him. It was the first time since Florida I’d really left his side for any length of time.

“I’m not going to do this with you again, Sean. Mike is coming with me. There’s nothing to worry about. You have to let me live my damn life.”

“I don’t see why you can’t wait until I can come, too.”

“Sue and I are not going shopping with you. First of all, we’d spend the whole damn time watching you sign autographs. And secondly, girls go shopping together, without boys. That’s just how it works. And no, Mike doesn’t count. But you do.”

He was standing in the middle of our suite, his arms crossed over his chest, a pout forming on his lips. It would have been cute if I wasn’t so irritated.

“It’s a mall Baby, in a big city. Anything could happen.”

“Do you realize that I managed to get to the ripe old age of 28 without ever having been abducted from a mall? Amazing isn’t it?”

He took a deep breath. “When will you come back?”

“I don’t know. We’re going shopping. It could take all day. And besides, you are going to be busy all day anyway.”

He unfolded his arms and pulled me to his chest. “I just… I don’t know how to explain this.”

“Explain what?”

“When you’re not with me I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.”

I reached up and stroked his cheek. “What are you so afraid of?”

“That I will lose you.”

“Sean, I’m not going to die at the mall. Even on the off chance that there is a terrorist attack at the uptown mall today, I’ll have my trusty bodyguard with me.”

The look on his face was so pathetic I wanted to climb up there and kiss it off him. I tugged on his shirt, which was my signal that I wanted him to lean over. He complied. I kissed his cheeks and the corner of his mouth, then his closed lips. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. And he opened up. Then I really started kissing him.

Of course, I was supposed to be leaving for the mall in five minutes, so this action was not beneficial. So when his hands started to get a little too gropey and my panting started to get a little too loud, I pulled back.

“I gotta go.”

“Baby, don’t ever leave me.”

“I’m just going to the mall. I’ll be back.”

“No, I mean, don’t leave me.”

His dark eyes bored into mine. And I realized what Sean’s biggest vulnerability was. He had the whole world at his fingertips, but he was insecure as hell when it came to me.

“I’m not going to leave you, Sean. I love you.” I told him.

Then I kissed him one last time and went to the mall.

****

“So what’s the deal exactly? Are you going to stay together after the tour?”

Sue looked casual, flipping through a rack of dresses. The conversation was anything but.

“Yeah. I’m going to do my season in Death Valley and he’s going to visit me there. And we’ll go from there.” I said, trying to sound just as casual.

The idea of Sean staying with me at the park did give me heartburn. I hadn’t figured out all the details, yet. I needed a place of my own. Usually, I lived in a small two-bedroom apartment with Jessica. Would he stay with the two of us when he came to visit? Would my co-workers freak out? How awkward was this going to be?

“Just like he was any other out-of-town boyfriend, then?”

I held a blouse up to my chest. “Too frilly?”

“No I like it. You should try it on.”

I handed the blouse to Mike, who was standing behind us and acting as a human clothes rack.

“Sean will be cool about it. He always is. It’s everyone else that will have to get used to seeing him at the general store buying pop tarts,” Mike interjected.

“Do you think I should give up my job and stay in his fancy house in Malibu?” I asked, a little irritated.

“No. I did not say that,” Mike said defensively.

“He didn’t,” Sue said.

I stopped flipping through the clothes and looked at her. “How do you do it?”

“Mike, will you leave those with the clerk? Let’s go get a coffee.”

We wandered down to the food court, and once we were all settled at a corner table, Sue turned back to the subject.

“Look, Lyle is not famous like Sean. He’s a back-up musician. Yes, sometimes people recognize him and ask him for his autograph, especially now that he plays with Sean. But it’s not the same thing. However, he does have groupies after him,” she sighed. “That part I can relate to.”

She ran her hand through her hair and took a sip of coffee. I waited.

“When we first met I was just starting my career. I worked at a big firm and I was laser focused, you know. The last thing I needed in my life was a musician, especially one that spent so much time on the road. He pursued me, heavily. And when I fell for him, I was a goner. At first it wasn’t so hard. I had a place, and when he wasn’t on the road he stayed there. I didn’t like going on the road with him. I tried it a couple times. The girls and the people around me being crazy and doing drugs, it was awful. I almost left him. But then he connected with Sean, about six years ago. Sean and Hank are sober and rational, and I really like them. It was a good move.”

“Would we call Hank rational?” Mike asked.

“Okay, maybe not. But he is sober. Anyway, I got pregnant and we got married, and things were good in our love life. But my career was like a roadblock. To pursue it, I was going to have to sacrifice a lot, time with him, time with the kids.”

“So you sacrificed your career instead,” I suggested.

“No, I don’t see it that way. I found a solution. One that works for us. You will, too.”

“I’m not focused on my career. I’m just a drifter really,” I pointed out.

“Okay, so what’s the hang up?”

“I can’t… I can’t let Sean be my whole life, I mean if I have nothing else, no career or anything. Well, for one, it seems like I’m cheating myself, selling myself short, and two, what if he leaves me?”

“So that’s what it’s really about,” Sue said.

“Sean’s not going to leave you,” Mike said, matter-of-fact.

“You can’t know that. He’s left every other girl he’s been with.”

“You’re not every other girl.”

“And he’s not every other guy. I did not mean to fall for a rock star. It was stupid.”

Mike was studying me, and it looked like he wanted to say something, but he stayed quiet.

“Are you going to let his career stand in your way?” Sue asked.

“I guess that is about the gist of it, isn’t it.”

“Look, do you love him?”

“Yes. With all my being.”

“Then forget all the hang-ups, you guys will work something out.” Sue took another sip and grinned. “And I want to be in the wedding. Bridesmaid will work if you already have a Maid of Honor picked out.”

****

“Just name a color, any color,” Sean said.

“This is crazy. You don’t have to do this.”

“Mrs. Martin is waiting.”

We were in Sean’s green room at the venue in Baltimore, cuddled up on the couch. He’d been showing me pictures of his house in Malibu on his iPad. Mrs. Martin, who he explained was not a housekeeper, but the very professional and respectable ‘manager of his properties,’ had been texting with Sean.

“I still want to discuss the ‘s,’” I told him. When he’d said
propertie
s I had become slightly alarmed.

“I promise to tell you about, and eventually show you, every last thing I own, Baby. But right now, we need to decide what color you think the sheets should be.”

This was really all my fault. I’d made a negative comment about the all black bedding on the California King in the master bedroom. He’d explained that it was the fault of his decorator, who despite that poor decision, had done well with the rest of the house. Then he insisted that I choose a new color and Mrs. Martin would have it all set up before we arrived in just six days.

“Is Mrs. Martin at the store right now? I mean, why do I have to decide this minute?”

“Because I already texted her, and one doesn’t keep Mrs. Martin waiting. Maybe I should have her get one of every color.”

“That’s ridiculous. How about blue? That’s your favorite color.”

“Blue it is.”

He sent a quick text to Mrs. Martin, set aside the iPad, and without pomp or circumstance, pulled my t-shirt off and pushed me back on the couch. “I can’t wait to have you in my new blue sheets.”

I laughed as his mouth tickled my neck.

And then, of course, the God forsaken door opened.

“Shit!” Sean grabbed my shirt and threw it over me.

“The door wasn’t locked?” I exclaimed.

By the time I had my shirt back on and stood up to see who’d barged in on us, Sean was standing, facing the door, wooden and silent.

The woman was beyond beautiful. She was a masterpiece in flesh and bone. She was tall, with amazing legs, bare up to the hem of a very expensive looking mini-skirt. Her flat stomach and size D breasts were showcased in a form fitting silky blouse. Her perfect, shiny blonde hair hung below her shoulders in a delicate tousle around her head. I knew who she was, Victoria Dee, one of the most famous models of this decade.

“Vicky, what are you doing here?”

She moved toward him, her spike heels clicking on the floor, her hips swaying. She didn’t even glance at me. She ate him up with her eyes.

“I was in the area, doing a shoot. I have a few days off and I thought I’d ride along with you.” She approached him and reached her hand out.

Sean grabbed her arm and held it away from himself. “Vicky, this is Dani, my girlfriend.”

She glanced over at me for a split second, then looked back at Sean, unimpressed. “So get rid of her.”

“Come on, Vicky. Don’t pretend you didn’t know. You came back here to fuck with me and my new girlfriend. I don’t need it.” He let go of her hand and pointed to the door.

Mike appeared in the doorway, sweaty and disheveled. “I just heard – shit!”

“Mike, can you please show Vicky out.”

She didn’t get mad. She just smiled at him and walked away.

Mike didn’t follow her. Instead, he walked into the room. “I swear to God Sean, I had no idea. She must have talked some security guy into letting her back here.”

“It’s fine. Just keep her away from Baby, okay.”

Mike nodded and left.

Sean turned to me. “Sorry about that. It seems the exes keep turning up, eh?”

I wasn’t sure I was capable of speech yet. I just stared at him. He walked toward me.

“Baby?”

“Um… when did you date her?”

“Last year for a few months.”

He must have told me a million times that I was the first woman he ever loved. But that was before I saw her. Now it seemed I had to ask. “And… did you love her?” 

He pulled me into his arms. “No. I’ve never been in love with anyone until I met you. You know that.”

“She’s so beautiful,” I whispered.

“You’re more beautiful.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him. It was just that it was so hard to believe him.