Love on the Ledge (18 page)

“What the fuck?” James says.

“Everyone was okay,” I tell them. I can feel my cheeks warm up. My head is thinking
HaydenHaydenHayden,
but I stop myself from going further in the story.

Mostly.

“One of the roofers fell through.”

“Oh my God,” Lucky says. “Was he okay?”

“Mostly. I patched up one of his cuts. He’s, um, interesting.” I chug my beer and shove some spicy hummus into my mouth to give myself a reprieve. “Anyway, the DJ bailed, and the caterer forgot to tell us that they’re going out of business.”

Lucky places her hand over her mouth. “Get the fuck out. It’s—”

“Less than two weeks away?” I press my hand on my stomach and set down the toast point I’m about to eat. I really dropped the ball. “The worst part is that I tried to keep it secret because I didn’t want anyone to worry. Only, I haven’t been able to
find
anyone. Oh…Oh, I think I’m going to be sick. It’s my own fault, not your food, James. I’m so sorry.”

James and Lucky exchange a worried look.

“What?”

“If you don’t tell her,” James says. “I will.”

“Tell me what?” I say.

Lucky looks at me with her big gray eyes. “Bradley’s in town.”

The queasiness in my stomach comes to a peak. I run into the house and I can hear Lucky shout, “Make a left!” I push through the first door I see and thank the gods that there’s a sink. I throw up my morning coffee. My stomach heaves painfully. I almost forgot how much I drank last night.

I sit in the cool porcelain bathroom and replay what Lucky said. It shouldn’t be a surprise. I
knew
that was his silver Mercedes I saw the other day. I can hear Lucky and James arguing in the kitchen. Well, technically even their regular conversations sound like arguing, so it’s good to know that they’re still going strong.

When I decide I’m ready to compose myself, I rinse my mouth out, clean up my mess, and head back outside.

“Sorry about that,” I say, joining Lucky back outside.

We sit in silence, enjoying the bright sun and the warm breeze.

“I thought you should know,” Lucky tells me. “Bradley is a total wreck. I haven’t actually seen him, and he hasn’t come near my family since James knocked him out, but he leaves crazed messages asking me to help win you back. He told me he was going to come here.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you need to know. You also need to know that there’s no way in hell I’d ever help that. That’s a one-and-done kind of betrayal.”

“Agreed.” I think of my mom and every time she took my dad back. “Thanks Lucky.”

She shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I feel shitty about the way it all went down, but at least you and I got to be friends.”

James returns with a bottle of seltzer and some ice. He nods at Lucky once. It’s amazing the way they communicate. He’s not much of a talker, but with a single look, Lucky seems to know just what he means to say. I think I’ll add them to my list of favorite couples after Pepe and Tony.

“While you were puking,” Lucky says.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“We were talking about how instead of going back to Boston we could stay here in the Hamptons for a little while.”

James leans forward. It’s hard not to look at his biceps, but it’s even harder to hold the fierce green of his stare. “We were only going to stay for the weekend after the Foodie TV filming.”

“But now!” Lucky says, impatient with the leisurely way in which James speaks. “We want to cater the wedding.”

“What?” I almost spill seltzer all over myself. “Are you serious?”

“It won’t be too complicated a menu,” James says. He runs his hand through his hair and I can see him trying to do some sort of math. “But I guarantee it’ll get done and done well.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“James and I have been there,” Lucky says. “Everything was falling apart around us. It’s our karmic duty to help.”

“How many guests?” James asks.

“Two hundred.”

“Give me a second,” he says. “I’m trying to think.”

Lucky turns to me. “This’ll take a while.”

He pinches her again and she squeals. I’ve never seen Lucky this relaxed and playful with someone. It’s like the dark cloud over her head is long gone.

My stomach twists into knots as we wait for James to do this thinking. Lucky stretches her feet out and lands them across his thighs. He massages a foot with one hand and scrolls through his phone with the other.

“I’m not gonna lie, Sky,” he says, “I’m going to need to bring in some friends. Can I see the original menu you had planned?”

I pull it up on my phone and let him read it. His face ranges from a frown to a pleasant head nod, to a surprising, “That sounds good, actually.” When he’s done, he gives the menu to Lucky.

“Okay so here’s the deal,” he says. “I would 100% do this, give or take a few things. It’ll be more pared down. There are too many pasta dishes.”

“This wedding’s half Italian,” I say.

“That’s the biggest issue since I won’t have my kitchen. I have a buddy who has a restaurant, but it’s in the city. They’re not equipped for such a huge transport.”

“I’ll rent a van,” I say. Tony and Pepe have done so much for me over the years. They paid for my braces. They paid for nursing school. They sent me on a summer backpacking trip with River and Leti all over Europe. The least I can do is put some of that back into this wedding.

Lucky squeezes his hand, and he looks at her, really looks at her. James doesn’t know me from a hole in the wall. He’s doing this for Lucky, because he doesn’t want to see her upset. If someone had told me Lucky Pierce would be saving my skin right about now, I wouldn’t have believed them. But she’s full of surprises and I wish I’d given her more of a chance from the beginning.

“I’d better go make a few phone calls,” James says.

“James—” I’m about to start kissing the ground at his feet. It’s like a thousand pounds lifting from my shoulders.

“Don’t you dare fuckin’ thank me,” he says. “I’m happy to do this.”

He goes off into the house to make his phone calls.

“You have no idea how relieved I feel right now,” I tell her. “Pepe and Tony are going to love it. They love watching his new spotlight on TV.”

She brings us more seltzer. “Hello, I opened a restaurant with only a minor emotional meltdown. I
think
I know what you’re going through.”

As I let the relief wash over me, my brain starts to remind me of other things I have to get done. The DJ. Finish the centerpieces.
Tell
my family that everything is going to be okay.

“So,” Lucky says. “Who’s the guy?”

I sit up. All of my anxious thoughts of wedding planning get replaced by a single thought. The guy. “What guy?”

“Don’t play dumb. I know that look. The one you called
interesting
. Spill.”

Lucky sits back in her chair facing me. She means business. If I try to make a run for it, I wonder if she’ll push me in the pool.

So I tell her. I tell her his name is Hayden Robertson the Third, and some people call him Tripp. She has the same disgusted reaction as I did and agrees she’d never call him that. I tell her that his perfect body fell at my feet and saw me in nothing but a thong and a form-adjusting bra. I tell her that every time I turn in his direction, I find his forget-me-not blue eyes watching me. Not just watching—admiring. I tell her about the number on the sand dollar and our rooftop date. About the bungalow, and saving River.

“That’s so gross it’s actually cute. He doesn’t sound real.”

“I don’t think he is. I think that my mind is so desperate to think there are good guys in the world that it fabricated him, and the illusion is so strong that everyone sees him, too.”

She takes a gulp of her beer and wipes her lips with the back of her hand. “You’re preaching to the choir, Sky. I mean, you know my love life just as well as I do.”

Bradley always kept me updated with Lucky’s latest. I don’t have to tell her. I’m sure she already knows.

“James isn’t perfect,” she says. “He’s stubborn as fuck, and so am I. God knows he has his share of demons. The difference is that for the first time in my life, I’m with someone I completely trust, not just with my body but with my heart.”

“I thought I had that,” I say. I hate the way my voice sounds, but it feels good to say it out loud. When I’m at home I have to hide that hurt. I have to put on a face that tells my world that I’m fine. But no one truly understands. They want me to be okay, they want me to be “over it” because it’ll make them feel like they can stop walking on eggshells. I guess it’s harder to let people who know you see you this way out of fear of being judged.

Lucky won’t judge me, I know that much.

“You’ll have that again,” Lucky says. “Maybe it’ll take a while, but there is nothing stopping you.”

“You know what the worst part about this is?” I say. “I actually like Hayden. I mean, I’m attracted to him. A blind person would be attracted to him. It’s not just him. He’s beautiful. He has this hair that’s soft to the touch and always golden. His body alone makes me want to take a cold shower. But it’s the stuff beneath that. He’s got this feeling about him that tells me he’s just
good
, you know.”

“What’s so terrible about that?” Lucky says. “Sounds like cake to me.”

Yes, delicious cake with honey drizzled on top.

“I don’t want to like him as much as I do. It feels too fast and too soon. I’m not ready, but knowing he’s so close makes me want to forget that I’m not ready and let him look at me in that way—the way James looks at you.”

Lucky pops a cheese cube in her mouth. She washes it down with her beer, the whole time studying me with those gray eyes.

“You’re fucked,” she says.

“Thanks.”

“I mean it, Sky. You’re going to lose yourself in your thoughts. It’s not good. I know you’re afraid of getting hurt. I’m the last person to urge you on to rebound fuck a guy just because. That’s not good, and neither is getting involved with someone while you’ve got feelings for your ex.”

“I don’t have feelings for Bradley anymore.”

She cocks an eyebrow, like she doesn’t believe me. Do I believe me?

“Okay,” she says. “But you’re not the only one who’s still messed up. You shouldn’t be ashamed because you
feel
. You’re a real human person with real human feelings.”

“Thank you, Lucky.”

“Oh, I’m not done,” she says. “Don’t deny yourself that good feeling just because you’re afraid to get hurt again.”

“You know,” I say. “The one good thing about my ex-boyfriend cheating on me with your mom is that now you and I get to be friends for real.”

She half smiles. “I will confess I secretly hated you for being so fucking beautiful. It’s disgusting.”

“Shut up.”

“Let’s get down to business. Now that James is catering the wedding, it means I’m invited. What should I wear?”

“Hang on,” James comes back in with his phone in hand. “Before you get started with the estrogen. We can do a tasting for your family in two days.”

“That’s perfect.”

James gets back on the phone and starts ticking off a list for the person on the other line.

“Everything’s happening so fast,” I say.

Lucky leans back into her cushions. “Yep. You’ve got to enjoy it while you can.”

“Where have you been?” My mom looks like she could faint. Never did I ever even leave the apartment unless it was to school or the library. Now that I’m in my twenties, with a degree, and no longer living at home, she freaks out.

“Out.” I say. I’m starting to feel the dread that comes with trying to keep secrets.

“Sky,” Pepe and Tony rush into the living room from the kitchen.

Leti and River come out of their rooms. Maria and Yunior and all one thousand of my cousins turn from the TV.

“Okay, I have a few things to say.”

“You really—” Maria starts to say.

“And you, most of all, need to be quiet.” I hold my finger up to silence her. “I know that I should have told you guys about the caterer, I just really didn’t want to upset you. I wanted these next few weeks to be perfect, but it seems like every time I turn around something is going wrong.”

“Oh,
nena
,” Pepe says, coming over to me. “You know you can share the workload. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”

I look at my mom. I learned from the best. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but growing up, she did everything by herself. She took care of me, Pepe, and even Aunt Salomé when Leti’s father died.

“Ma, I’m sorry I yelled at you. But you have to let me make my own decisions.”

She doesn’t stay for the rest. She walks out of the living room and up the stairs to her room.

“I deserve that,” I say.

“We’ll just have to figure something out,” Tony says, holding Pepe around the waist.

River raises her hands. “How do you feel about hotdogs?”

Tony just says, “Uh….”

“Guys,” I hold my hands up. “It’s done. I have someone.”

“Who?” Pepe asks.

It’s hard to hear them over Maria squawking something about how lucky I am, and Daisy crying about how her dress itches, and Grandma Gloria saying they’d better at least know how to make rice and beans, and River looking indignant like I just stole her thunder.

“It’s a surprise,” I say. Before they can riot and protest, I continue. “You’ll find out in two days. It’s going to be so worth it. I know I’ve been a little crazed the last few months, but you’ll see. I will give you the perfect wedding.”

“We have faith in you,” Tony says. “We can’t wait.”

“What about the DJ?” Maria asks.

I bite my tongue.

“I’ve got that covered,” Leti says. “Don’t worry your bitchy little head off.”

• • •

I step outside into the cool night air, leaving my family with something to gossip about. The evening is warm, and now that I can cross one thing off my list my mind wanders to last night. I picture myself in Hayden’s arms, and my skin is instantly covered in a delicious warmth. I pull my phone from my back pocket to call him.

The call is interrupted before I can hit the little green phone symbol. I nearly drop the device out of my hands. It flip-flops like a fish trying to get out of my grip. But it’s not a fish. It’s a phone. And the person calling me is Bradley.