LOVE on The Horizon (Breaking The Rules #1) (7 page)

I sat at the bar, completely lost in my thoughts.

Because of my schedule, it was rare that I actually socialized with my staff. Watching them relieve stress often put me in a great mood. I truly liked these people, and their happiness meant the world to me. I’d be kidding myself if I pretended the reason I showed tonight wasn’t the very reason I should have stayed away. I should have been relieved when I saw she wasn’t there. Again, I’d be kidding myself if I pretended anything other than disappointment.

All I could think about was Rebecca.

She was suspiciously missing, and I was sure it had to do with our “incident” earlier today in the staging room.

I stared at the whiskey in my glass, replaying the scene over and over in my mind. I crossed a line, and I wasn’t entirely convinced that it wouldn’t happen again sooner or later. Who knows what would have happened if Ricky hadn’t barged in? That scared the shit out of me. And after today, I knew every time we were alone I’d have to fight the urge to kiss her. Now after having tasted her lips, albeit for two seconds, I was no longer sure I could win that fight.

I wanted her so badly. The way she returned my gaze could only indicate that she wanted me as well. That made it even scarier.

Ricky sat heavily beside me with a scowl on his face, interrupting my thoughts.

“
Cosa vuoi?
”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’m busy,” I responded with an eye-roll.

“Don’t give me attitude, mister.” He glanced at our coworkers and had the decency to lower his voice. “I just left a distraught Rebecca in her stateroom because she thinks she’s causing problems in your life. She feels awful about it and is considering ending her contract commitment.”

“What? No.”

“Yes. She threatened to leave. You threatened to transfer. It’s time you fessed up. This is not normal behavior for two people who don’t have feelings for each other.”

“We don’t have feelings for each other,” I whispered harshly.

“Yes, you do!” He cut his eyes back to the dance floor before leveling me with his ice-blue glare. “I just told her I’m so on to you both. You need to go tell her she can’t leave, since she won’t listen to me.” When I didn’t move, he poked me. “Marco, I know you better than anyone. Knock this shit off.”

“What shit?”

“I saw it with my own eyes, so don’t try to deny it.”

I remained silent, refusing to concede, even though his words were absolutely true. Him witnessing that connection Rebecca and I shared was the worst thing that could have happened, because now he’d never let it go.

“Here’s how I see it,” he droned on predictably. “You’ve never felt this way before and it’s freaking you out, but it shouldn’t. You can’t fight love. When you try to, things get really, really messy.” I continued to ignore him, and he continued his rant. “She can’t keep walking around here like a love-sick teenager, and you can’t continue walking around here with a humongous chubbie.”

“
H
umongous chubbie?”

“It means a huge hard-on.”

“I
don’t
have a hard-on.”

“Uh, yes you do.” His eyes glanced down and I wanted to hit him, because again he was absolutely right…I did.

“You’re crossing a line, Burrows.”

“Big deal. I’ve crossed far worse and you know it.”

I stared at the amber liquid in my glass, hoping for a spark of wisdom to hit me. Nothing had happened between us yet, and I was already exhausted with the situation.

Wait, yet?

“It’s complicated,” I finally admitted.

“It doesn’t have to be. Marco?” I turned to see him watching me sympathetically. “
La vita
è
buona
,” he said, using my own words against me.

I was always touting how good life was to my staff, and until a few weeks ago, it had been. That was when I was obliviously happy in my lonely existence. And now, things had changed and all I felt about life at the moment was how unfair it was.

“It’s not that simple, Ricky,” I said quietly.

Losing his patience with me, he released a very heavy sigh. “It can be. First thing you’re going to do is get your ass over to her room and convince her to stay because, if she leaves, I quit.”

“One of these days, I’ll fire you myself.”

“No, you won’t.” He folded his arms, clearly unfazed by my threat. “You need to be honest with her. She deserves to know how you feel.”

“That would change everything, Ricky. I can’t do that. She’s my direct report.”

“So?”

I threw him an incredulous glare.

“Marco, you need to talk to her, or else…” He left the threat dangling between us.

“Or else what?”

“Or else I’ll talk to her, and my version won’t be as G-rated as yours.”

I wasn’t afraid of my assistant, unless he was right. On the rare occasions he’d been right, he’d proceeded to make my life miserable. I could only imagine what he’d do to me this time around. When it came to fate, love, blah, blah, blah, he meant business…and not even a transfer would save me from his wrath.

Ricky was a hopeless romantic. It was his mission in life to find love for both of us. Until now, I found the fairytale idealisms that dictated his real life amusing. I needed to figure things out before my meddling, delusional assistant made things worse.

“I’ll handle it,” I said, not having the slightest idea how I would do that. Downing the rest of my drink, I climbed off the barstool and walked away, shaking my head.

The one thing I was certain about was she couldn’t leave this ship. She was perfect for this job and made it very clear she loved being here. In the past weeks, I’d come to learn that, for the first time in her life, she finally felt optimistic with her career choice.

There was no way I was going to take that away from her.

Instead of going to her cabin, I dialed her stateroom number on a house phone. I simply couldn’t trust myself to be alone with her after what happened earlier. When it rang and rang, I worried Ricky wasn’t exaggerating.

Reluctantly, a few minutes later I knocked on her door, fully expecting to see a distraught Rebecca. What stood before me instead was a vision of beauty in a white tank top and plaid pajama bottoms. Her damp hair smelled amazing, and it was obvious she was fresh out of the shower.

I’d been duped.

“Marco,” she said breathily. “Is everything okay?”

“Except for the fact there will be a murder committed on this ship tonight,
sì
, everything is okay.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be voicing that out loud in the hallway. Come in.” She stepped into her room, but I didn’t follow.

“What’s wrong?” she asked when I remained rooted at the door.

“Um, nothing.” I glanced up and down the hall before slowly walking into her room. Even fully knowing it was a very, very bad idea, did that stop me? No.

“Who are you going to murder?”

“Ricky.”

She laughed adorably. “What did he do now?”

I recounted our conversation where he claimed she was distraught, of course, leaving out the part about my hard-on. I must have paused at least five times during my dissertation, distracted by the smell of her shampoo.

“He was here giving me a hard time, but I did not threaten to leave. He lied about that.” She sat cross-legged on her bed and motioned for me to sit in the chair across from her.

“Yeah, I figured that out.
Lui è un rompiballe
.”

“That sounds serious.”

Not wanting to translate that I called him a ball-breaker, I revised to, “He’s a pain in my ass by always threatening to quit. I believed him this time, though,” I admitted quietly, scrubbing a hand over my face. “He adores you.”

“Do
you
want me to leave?” It then occurred to me she was misinterpreting my frustrations.

“No, of course not.” She met my eyes but remained silent. “Rebecca, my unprofessional behavior today was unacceptable. I almost crossed a line, and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think this is a common occurrence for me.”

“It wasn’t all on you, Marco. I was there. I almost crossed the same line.”

When she stared into my eyes, the urge to grab her and crush my lips to hers forced me to look away quickly. The more her deep blue eyes focused on mine, the more I couldn’t think of anything other than kissing her.

“I have to go.”

“Wait.” Her one word halted me before I could get to the door. She waited for me to turn toward her. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us,” she said sadly.

“I don’t want that either.” Although she nodded, she didn’t look at all convinced that it wouldn’t be, and I felt the same.

With each second that passed, the temptation to finish what I started became overwhelming. There was a paper-thin wall of self-control stopping me from touching her, and a simple look from her would be all it took for that wall to fall over. I needed to leave her room before it was too late.

I walked to her door and turned back one more time. “Good night, Rebecca.”

“Good night, Marco.”

Inferno.

To you Americans, it meant fire, heat, maybe even passion.

To us Italians, it meant hell.

It’d been three days since I went to her stateroom, and every moment of every day had been nothing but
hell
.

Seeing her but not touching her was hell.

Miserably moving through the day in a constant state of arousal while forcing a smile on my face was hell.

Ricky hounding me relentlessly was hell.

“So, we’re back to you ignoring me?” Her soft voice behind me drowned out the sound of the engines roaring through the sea.

I turned to see her standing a few feet away. Thankfully, she had changed out of the gown she wore earlier. It was late, very late. No one was around, and still I felt like I was doing something wrong… Maybe because, in my thoughts, I was.

“Why are you still up?”

“I couldn’t sleep. You?”

“Same.”

She stepped to the rail, leaving a considerable amount of space between us. We both stared at the blackness of the night as it met the shimmering, dark waters. Even though the air around us was unseasonably cool for the tropics, my skin still felt sticky and uncomfortable.

“I’ve been thinking. Maybe I
should
leave.”

I turned to look at her, but her gaze held steady in the darkness. “I don’t want you to go. You’re doing such a great job, and your future with Sunset is a bright one.”

“It’s not worth it,” she admitted while shaking her head.

“What’s not?” I asked, knowing I was also asking for trouble.

“Being here.” She finally turned her head to meet my eyes. “If it’s going to be a nightmare, it’s not worth it.” Even in the dark, I could see her eyes glistening with emotion, making them look even bluer. “This is torture for me. I can’t keep pretending. It’s too hard.”

“You don’t mean that.” She was killing me. My resolve was quickly disappearing with every word she spoke.

“I do.” Her eyes remained focused on mine, and I couldn’t think of anything other than kissing her. “I’m just going to put it all out there.” I watched her swallow a huge gulp of air before she continued. “I’ve never met a man who made me feel winded by his presence. I’ve never looked forward to seeing a smile, hearing a laugh, or smelling a cologne before. I’ve never met a man whom I thought about more than not.”

I completely understood the battle she was experiencing. I, too, felt every push and pull having her here was causing within my heart. I was literally drowning in my growing feelings for her. Even now, her beauty suffocated me. Her thick waves of chestnut brown hair cascading around her shoulders, her full, parted lips begging to be kissed, her pebbled nipples from the cool air pushing against the fabric of her top all made it hard for me to breathe.