Love on the Highlight Reel (Connecticut Kings Book 2) (15 page)

Hell…  I was out here proving him right.

After my shower, I climbed into bed, and decided against turning the TV on. I didn’t want to see whatever bullshit was getting blasted in the news. I just wanted to sleep, but it wouldn’t come.

I laid there until the clock beside the bed claimed it was four in the morning, and I still hadn’t drifted off. I was wide-awake when the door to the room creaked open, then closed. When the bed creaked under the weight of someone else inviting themselves into it.

I hated the way the tension left my body, hated that I suddenly felt so light. Nicki moved herself closer to my side, and it pissed me off a little that my natural reaction was to lift my arm, wrap it around her to pull her even closer. It pissed me off that she still felt so comfortable, so familiar in my arms.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the dark, in a voice so choked with emotion it made
me
swallow hard. “For everything. I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know how to deal with it now, and I didn’t know how to deal with it back then.”

“With what?”

She sniffled. “With whatever this is I feel for you. You’re right, I was a fraud. I pretended to be this sweet girl to “get” you. Whitney and her little friends picked me apart every chance they got, and I just refused to let her win. So I got what she wanted. And then I
kept
what she wanted, just to prove my point. It was childish, petty, and wrong. I admit that, and I’m ashamed that I did it. But you… weren’t what I assumed. You were so bright, and funny, and smart, and strong, and
sexy
, and I ended up… I wasn’t in control of it, and it scared the hell out of me. What your father said was just the excuse I needed to get out while I still could. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

I let out a deep sigh, then stopped fighting the urge to pull her even tighter against my side. “What if I don’t believe you?”

Even in the dark, I could tell from her movement that she’d looked up at me. She sucked in a breath. “I would have to accept that. And I understand why. I’m probably not your favorite person in the world right now. But I’m telling you the truth. I never stopped caring about you Jordan, I just pushed it to the side and tried to ignore it. I’m so hard on you, always on your ass because… God, I want so badly for you to make me regret leaving. Make your father eat those ugly words. I want to see the first man I fell in love with
grow up
.”

I closed my eyes, even though I couldn’t see shit anyway. “Nicki… I’m
trying
.”

“I know,” she responded, and a moment later, she was on top me, cupping my face in her hands. “I know you are, I know.” She found my face in the dark and whispered that right against my mouth, then pressed her lips to mine, sending a surge of…
something
through me.

She gasped as I flipped us over, settling on top of her before I did what I’d been aching to do again for the last two weeks.

I kissed her.

Eleven.

Exposed.

Guilty.

Embarrassed.

Confused.

All of those feelings swirled in my chest, overwhelming me, making me dizzy.

I’d never been so relieved to be in the dark, so Jordan couldn’t see my red, swollen eyes or disheveled hair – the evidence of what the last hours had been like for me.

I didn’t deserve to be accepted into his room, his bed, or his arms, and yet here we were. Instead of kicking me out, berating me, or making me beg, he was kissing me. Soft, but urgent. Short, but… soul stirring. Kisses that made me feel guiltier, more exposed, more embarrassed, more confused, but somehow, at the same time… swept it all away.

I spread my legs wider, offering him more room to settle between them as his lips met the side of my neck. A shudder rushed through me – an involuntary reaction to the hot, moist rasp of his tongue against my skin. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, cradling his head in my hands. Fresh tears sprang behind my closed eyelids as he put his mouth down, suckling hard enough to leave a mark, but it felt so good I didn’t care.

But you should care.

After he’d left me in the kitchen – tipsy, thoroughly shamed, and completely dissected - the only thing I could find the strength to do was drag myself into my room. As I stripped out of my clothes, showered, then drug my physically and emotionally exhausted body into bed, I’d cried the worst kind of tears. The ones that drained you, but didn’t leave anything – not serenity, or release – behind.

Again, he was making me feel things that weren’t
me.
I, Nicole Richardson, didn’t
cry
, because my father didn’t raise me that way. Maybe tears of happiness because I’d accomplished something, sure, but otherwise? Who had time to cry, be felt sorry for, be vulnerable and weak when I could
win
instead? My twin wasn’t running around crying, and neither would I.

And yet… there I was, feeling like someone had walked up to my neatly tucked away emotional compartments and taken an axe to them, splitting them in half. I couldn’t hold anything in now. It was all spilling out, bubbling through my fingers, demanding to be addressed.

My eyes popped open, and the pleasure slipped away, leaving just the—

“Relax,” he murmured into my neck, then raised his mouth to nip my earlobe, letting me know it was an imperative, not a request. My eyes adjusted enough to the dark to see the vague outline of Jordan’s body as he shifted upward, balancing himself over me. I could feel him looking me in the face, and had to bite my lip to keep from whimpering when he brought a hand to my cheek. “Or do you not want to do this?”

“I do,” I answered immediately – damn near desperately. For now at least, obscurity of feeling was out of my reach. Transparency was my only option. “I’m having a hard time letting myself trust what’s happening right now.”

  His thumb grazed my jaw. “So you don’t trust me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It’s
exactly
what you said. Trust is putting yourself in somebody else’s care, with confidence that they won’t hurt you. Do you think I’m going to hurt you?”

A lump swelled in my throat. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I did it to you.”

“If I felt a need to hurt you, I wouldn’t be getting ready to be inside you,” he murmured, brushing his lips over my forehead.

“So you’re not mad at me for what happened between us?”

“You seem mad enough at yourself. I’ve got better shit to do with my time right now.”

“Like what?”

“Like this.”

In the time it took him to say those two words, he’d slipped his hand between my legs, pushing the thin fabric of my panties aside. I sucked in a breath as he pressed a firm thumb to the sensitive bud of my clit, then slid one of his deliciously nimble fingers into me. He pushed another one in, plunging deep as he lowered himself to tug my bottom lip between his teeth. He pulled it into his mouth, sucking hard enough to make me whimper as he plunged his fingers into me again.

“You’re so damn wet, Nicki,” he murmured against my lips. His talented fingers stroked
one, two, three
times, then pressed firm against a spot deep in me that made a sharp cry fall from my lips as I arched away from the bed. Jordan brought his mouth to my ear. The arrogantly sexy resonance of his laughter complimented the pleasure of his hand between my legs. “That spot is
exactly
where I remembered.”

He remembers where… God, help me.

The feeling that those words sent through me made me squeeze my eyes shut, biting down hard on my lip as his thumb circled my clit. I rocked my hips up toward his hand, wanting more, but he stilled his movements.  He nipped my earlobe, sucking it into his mouth before he rumbled in my ear again. “You want me to make you come, don’t you?”

“
Please
,” I whined, shamelessly grinding against his hand.

He chuckled. “So are you talking, or are you coming?”

“You
know
which one I want.”

“Nope,” he said. With his weight balanced on his elbow, he buried his hand in my hair, gently tugging to get me to turn my face toward his. “Say it.”

“Jordan, you know—”

“Nah.” He moved his hand from between my legs to cup my chin. “I don’t want to hear that
I can’t
shit. Any other time, that mouth of yours is on a hundred-trillion, but you can’t tell me what you want me to do you?”

“Could you just—”

“Listen to me, Nicki,” he said in a growl that hit me right between the legs, making me wetter than I already was. The warmth of his breath tickled my skin as he moved in closer. “
You
are not in control here. If you want me to make you come, you’re gonna say it. You understand?”

I swallowed hard as what seemed like an eternity of silence stretched between us. As thoroughly turned on as I was, his authoritative tone pissed me off. And then turned me back on.

A lot.

I didn’t get bossed around or commanded to do things.
I
did the bossing and commanding.

“Nicki.” His grip on my chin subtly tightened, and my body constricted with it, aching for him to touch me again. “I asked if you understood.”

“Yes.”

“So tell me what you want.”

A shaky breath rushed out of me. “I want you to make me come.”

The sun had begun to come up, bringing the first faint streaks of light through the window, illuminating Jordan’s face enough to see his smirk. He brought his mouth to mine, brushing me with a gentle kiss.

“Good girl.”

I didn’t have time to react – time to speak, or think, before he had my nightgown over my head, and somewhere across the room. He gave the same treatment to my panties. My bare breasts felt heavy, hot under his gaze, and my nipples were so hard by this point that they were throbbing. A tremor ran through me as he unhurriedly, gently, twisted them between his forefingers and thumbs, then used his big hands to cup my breasts and squeeze. His palms were hot – soothing and scorching as they slid over my breasts. One fluid motion, never not touching me as his fingers curved back to my achingly hard peaks and tugged.

“
Ah!
”

He didn’t have to ask if I liked it – he
knew
. He handled me confidently – tugging my nipples again, harder, making me wetter. I buried my fingers in the thick, soft coils of his hair, making a sound that wasn’t a whimper or moan, just
noise
, as he covered my nipple with his mouth. He stroked it with his tongue, licking and sucking until I was quivering beneath him before he moved to pamper the other side.

It was
overwhelming.

I already felt
so
good, but as soon as he left my breasts, trailing kisses between them before he moved down to my ribs, my belly button, I started trembling, helpless with anticipation.

There was
more.

He spread me apart, burying his face between my legs. He inhaled deep, sending a rush of air over my hypersensitive clit that pushed me a little closer to the edge. And then he covered me with his mouth.

Heaven.

That was what it felt like to me, with Jordan sucking, licking, biting, devouring me, until tiny white stars burst behind my eyelids – a fireworks show to commemorate my ecstasy. Relief flooded my body as he brought me to release. I was practically vibrating with the kind of joy only a good orgasm could bring, basking in the dizzy, high feeling.

He kissed his way back up my body, and as soon as I could, I caught his face between my hands, bringing his lips to mine. “I want to feel you,” I murmured into his mouth as I ran my fingers across the broad expanse of his shoulders, down his chest, down to the waistband of his boxer briefs.

“We’re touching right now, aren’t we?”

I shook my head. “Not like this. I want you inside of me.
Now.
”

Jordan chuckled, pressing a kiss to my jaw as I tugged his boxers down. I spread my legs wider as his dick sprang free. “
There we go
,” he grumbled as I wrapped my fingers around the smooth hardness of his length. “What else you want, baby?”

I squeezed him, and he groaned in reaction, sending a burst of giddy pleasure through me. Bringing my free hand to the back as his neck, I pulled him closer, feeling bolder, sexier, freer than I’d felt in a long time.

“I want to feel you come inside me.”

For a moment, I don’t think Jordan breathed.

The moment after that, he slammed into me, so deep that I would have sworn we were stuck together if he hadn’t pulled back and plunged again. Immense pleasure ripped through me, chased by a thread of pain that somehow made it better.

“
Still so goddamned tight
,” he groaned in my ear, more to himself than to me, but my lips curved into a smile anyway.

That smile quickly gave way to open-mouthed gasps of pleasure as he drove into me, over, over, and over, making pleasure coil tight in my belly. I hooked my legs around his thighs as he grabbed my wrists, pinning them over my head. He kept stroking me – deeper, harder, working up a sweat.

His mouth crashed onto mine, consuming me with a kiss that felt like more than a kiss. Declarative strokes of his tongue, possessive nibbles at my lips and the corners of my mouth, and soothing, reassuring licks after.

“Nicki,” he pleaded, with an intensity of need I don’t think either of us knew existed.

I pulled my hands away from his hold, wrapping my arms over his shoulders to get closer. “I’m here,” I whispered, putting my mouth against his ear.

I dug my nails into his shoulders as he hooked his arms under my knees to stroke me harder. I drew in a deep breath through my nose, inhaling Jordan’s gratifyingly familiar aroma.

It was comforting to me. A sweet sort of nostalgia filled my head as Jordan freed one of my legs to wrap an arm around me instead, pulling me close. He was so deep that it almost felt as if we couldn’t
stop, like if he left my body, some vital part of me would be taken away.

I remembered
that.

Remembered loving him so much that sex was almost divine—our required daily adulations to each other. Echoes of those feelings swamped through me, attaching themselves to recent memories, showing me their sneaky manifestations.

My desire to see Jordan succeed wasn’t as selfish as I’d given myself credit for, my anger over his partying and drinking, not as professional as I thought. That nagging feeling I had toward Cin – jealousy and insecurity. The low level rage I felt when someone
else
said anything negative about him… protectiveness.

Because there was a point I’d loved Jordan so much that it terrified me. And even though I’d put them aside and tried to lock them up there wasn’t a switch I could flip to make those feelings go away.

The affection, or the fear.

“Come back to me, Nicki.”

The sound of Jordan’s voice in my ear brought me back to the moment with an overwhelming rush of pleasure, and I opened my eyes. Enough light had come in that I could see him now. His beautiful skin, the chiseled contours of his jaw. He grinned at me – showing me the dimples that made me so weak – then moved his hands to my ankles, pressing them towards the head of the bed as he slammed into me.