Love of Her Life (2 page)

The Bartender returns. 

BARTENDER

Your boyfriend couldn't make it?

She shakes her head. 

HARMONIA

We're only friends.  We've never met

in person.  He was supposed to be on

this boat, see if we could be more. 

BARTENDER

So you're a free bird. 

She gives him a curious once-over. 

HARMONIA

You talk an awful lot like him. 

BARTENDER

You said he's from these parts. 

HARMONIA

His accent isn't as strong as yours. 

Another customer sits.  The Bartender takes care of business. 

She stirs the last remnant of whipped cream into the cocoa. 

The Bartender returns. 

BARTENDER

You were right ticked when you came

in here.  You must have been excited

at the prospect of meeting him. 

HARMONIA

Mind reading again. 

BARTENDER

First time on the river, sister?

HARMONIA

Yes.  And the only time. 

BARTENDER

No repeats, huh?

She eyes him. 

HARMONIA

Am I that common? 

BARTENDER

In my line of work you learn to read

people.  You're the kind who keeps a

list of things you want to do in

this lifetime. 

HARMONIA

Wow.  You're psychic. 

Another customer sits at the bar.  The Bartender tends to his business. 

Harmonia watches him with intrigue and murmurs to herself. 

HARMONIA

You wouldn't.  No, Orion, you know

better than to do that. 

Mike slides onto the stool next to her. 

MIKE

Will you have dinner with me?  We

can at least be friendly. 

She sags in defeat.  She doesn't look at Mike. 

HARMONIA

How could you do this to me, Ri? 

Where is he going to sleep?

Mike's eyes widen. 

MIKE

I swear, I won't touch you unless

you ask me to. 

HARMONIA

I can't bear the thought--

MIKE

Don't be like that. 

HARMONIA

--of another man touching me.  Yes,

I said you could send a delegate,

but you had to know I was joking--

The Bartender returns to take Mike's order. 

MIKE

Cape Cod. 

HARMONIA

--I never thought you would take it--

MIKE

Listen, Harmonia.  I swear to Ares

and Aphrodite, I won't even try. 

I'll wear jammies. 

She glares at him and bursts out laughing. 

HARMONIA

Jammies?  You can sleep on the floor. 

MIKE

I have a bad back. 

HARMONIA

Wonderful.  How can you be a god

with a bad back?  Orion is a god in

bed. 

The Bartender laughs.  He sets the drink in front of Mike and lingers within earshot. 

MIKE

"What if I was in a wheelchair?" He

said you said--

HARMONIA

He said I said.  Whatever.  I said

it to him.  Not you. 

MIKE

I've read--

HARMONIA

What?  What have you read?  The Kama

Sutra?

MIKE

What's that?

Harmonia smirks. 

HARMONIA

Look for it at Amazon.  "Kama Sutra

for Dummies.  " Being a god isn't about

what you do to body parts. 

MIKE

Wow.  Orion didn't say you're cruel. 

HARMONIA

I'm being polite.  Please go.  See

if there's a lonely woman here who's

looking for company. 

MIKE

That'd be you. 

He sips his drink. 

HARMONIA

It's not me. 

She sucks the last of the whipped cream off the straw. 

MIKE

Like it or not, that's what you are. 

Lonely.  Looking for your soul mate. 

HARMONIA

Does Orion find you charming? 

The Bartender laughs.  She looks, inquiring, at the Bartender. 

BARTENDER

Sorry.  Occupational hazard. 

HARMONIA

Who cares anyway?  I'm sure I can't

make myself.  Why did he send you? 

MIKE

He says I could be your soul mate. 

HARMONIA

Bull shit.  He's testing me. 

The Bartender tends to business at the other end of the bar. 

HARMONIA

Do you know Eric?

MIKE

Sure I know Eric.  He works at the

Flamingo. 

HARMONIA

You're all poker dealers?

MIKE

I'm a hotel manager.  Eric is a

player. 

HARMONIA

What's he really like?

MIKE

Eric?

HARMONIA

Orion. 

She gets a dreamy look on her face. 

HARMONIA

It's the least you could do as a

gentleman.  Tell me about him. 

MIKE

Nothing special.  You wouldn't notice

him if you met him in everyday life. 

HARMONIA

Is he really a Sasquatch?  Six-foot-

four and hairy all over?

MIKE

Harmonia, wake up.  On the internet,

all a man's got to do is type what a

woman wants. 

She grimaces. 

HARMONIA

We've spent hours on the phone.  I

like Orion for who he is inside.  I

don't care what he looks like, really. 

Is today his 30th birthday?

MIKE

Yes. 

She looks quite sad. 

HARMONIA

What is wrong with that man?  What

is he doing?  How could he possibly--

did his children plan something for

him?

MIKE

No.  He hasn't heard from them in

years. 

She shakes her head. 

HARMONIA

Pitiful.  The autistic one makes sense. 

Why are the other two so upset at him? 

MIKE

I wouldn't say if I knew. 

HARMONIA

He must have done something.  There's

something he's scared to tell me. 

The Bartender tidies up nearby. 

BARTENDER

If a man--excuse me, do you mind?

HARMONIA

Speak your mind.  You intrigue me. 

BARTENDER

Why, because I figured you for a

Peppermint Patty and a list-keeper?

HARMONIA

You sound so much like him.  It's

almost like listening to him, which

I could for hours.  Go on, give me a

dime's worth. 

BARTENDER

If a man feels he's committed the

unforgivable sin, he'll carry that

secret to his grave. 

The three of them ponder in silence. 

The Bartender adds cherries and limes to a tray that's low on condiments. 

Mike squeezes a lime into his drink. 

Harmonia stirs whipped cream and licks the straw. 

HARMONIA

I could forgive Ri anything. 

BARTENDER

I reckon he can't imagine that. 

HARMONIA

We've all committed the unforgivable. 

The only way to live is to forgive

yourself first. 

BARTENDER

Spill it, sister. 

HARMONIA

Use your imagination.  Whatever you

think it was, tell yourself it could

be worse.  Then ask yourself if you

could still be kind. 

The Bartender slips a cherry into his mouth. 

HARMONIA

When do we reach the next port?  I'm

getting off this boat.  Orion is not

spending his birthday alone. 

The Bartender and Mike jump. 

BARTENDER

If a man wants to be left alone--

MIKE

--You should let him be. 

HARMONIA

Nonsense.  Friends don't let friends

do nothing special for their birthday. 

BARTENDER

Why do you assume he's doing nothing

special? 

Harmonia's expression changes to doubt.  She looks to Mike. 

HARMONIA

Would you tell me?

MIKE

I don't know everything. 

Poker faces on the two men. 

HARMONIA

Has he been yanking my chain?  Why

would he?  Has he been lying to me

all along?  Damn, no way.  Orion

knows I hate deception.