Love Me ~ Without Regret (22 page)

I guess he put me in my place. I have been holding on to grudges and now that he’s apologized… “You know, Nathanial, I think it is the time that I move past all of that crap.” I take off the earphones and stuff them into my bag. “Okay, ink me up, big boy.”

“Now that’s more like it. Let’s talk about this tat you’re getting. The locked heart is a really cool design. I don’t see them around that much. What made you choose it?” Nate asks.

“I’m not sure if I really want to get into all of that.”

“Then let me tell you what I know about it.”

He holds up the paper so we can both see it. “A locked heart represents love for a single person. Either your heart is locked because of this person or only one person has the key to your heart. I’ve never seen the design with flowers and barbed wire, though. The barbed wire gives it a darker vibe. Is that the statement you’re wanting to make with this tattoo?”

“Can we just get on with slinging the ink and not get into the personal stuff?”

He lifts his eyebrows.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m trying to say.”

Now he looks uneasy.

I don’t want “uneasy” manning the needle that’s touching my skin so I say, “Are you this thorough with every client? Why can’t it be that I just like the design?”

The worry leaves his face and he shrugs. “Okay, so you like the design.” He turns and lays the paper on his workstation.

Then I remember about the special touch I wanted to add. “Oh, I do want you to hide something in there. Can you adapt the design a little?” I ask him.

“Sure thing,” he says.

We get on with the tattoo talking, being careful to stay away from the past. He appears to have genuinely changed and he’s been enjoyable to be around again. A little over three hours later Nate has finished my tattoo, including the little personal touch I wanted hidden.

“I love it, Nathanial. You did an amazing job.” I give him a hug.

“I’m glad you like it. Please call me Nate. And this tattoo is on me for being such an asshole back in the day.” He starts cleaning up his supplies.

“No, that’s not necessary. I insist on paying for it.”

Nate shakes his head, “Clearly, it was mandatory. I left a bad taste in your mouth.”

“Still full of yourself, I see.” I laugh out like I’m joking, but I mean every single word. “Can I buy your lunch?”

“I would love to, but I have another client in about thirty minutes.” He removes his gloves and tosses them in the trash. “Tats are addictive, though. You’ll be back and you can catch me then, okay?”

“You’ve got it, Nate. I’ll be back soon. Thank you again.” I turn and leave the shop.

Back in my car, I contemplate what to do now. Tomorrow is Friday. I have nothing planned for this weekend. I could work at the ranch, but I miss Clay so much. I’m only about an hour and forty-five minutes from Nashville being here in Huntsville. I’m aching to go up there and be with him. To get us past this hiccup and get back to being happy. I don’t have any extra clothes with me, but I can always pick up the essentials. Classes resume on Monday so I won’t have any time next week. Decision made. I’m going to do it. I’m going to spend the weekend with Clay. This. Is. Happening. I’ve had so many people pointing me in this direction it has to be the right thing to do.

Clay

Very much to my surprise, Megan called me ten minutes ago and told me her doctor’s appointment is this afternoon. She purposely gave me only a few minutes to get there. Lucky for me, I happen to be on that side of town and make the appointment in plenty of time.

Walking into the obstetrician’s office, I see pregnant women and babies everywhere, but I spy Megan right away. Her aunt, Jenieie, is right beside her with a blotchy face.

“Megan, thank you for allowing me to be here with you. This means so much to me.” I tell her, walking up to the pair of them.

“You need to see what you’re doing to Jenie. You’re taking away her one chance at being a mother.” Megan leans over to comfort Jenie.

I squat down in front of them. They didn’t save a seat for me. “Jenie, there are so many children that need a loving home. You’ll be making someone’s life so much better. I can’t thank you enough for talking Megan into keeping my baby. I know you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

Jenie starts to weep. “We don’t have the money for a private adoption, and we took a second mortgage on our house to pay for the attorney and Megan.”

On the table beside Jenie is a box of tissue. I reach to give her one, “I’ll pay you back every penny you’ve paid so far, Jenie. If not for you, I wouldn’t even have a little boy on the way. You said you borrowed money to pay your attorney and Megan? Why did you have to pay Megan?”

“She wanted twenty-five thousand for having the baby for us. The attorney was five hundred, so you see that’s why we don’t have any more money.” Jenie wipes her face.

“Megan, you told me you were on Medicaid, that you weren’t being charged anything to have the baby,” I say.

“No one wants a pregnant backup singer, Clay. Besides, I didn’t want to be on my feet that much and get varicose veins. I needed money to pay my bills. Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

“You’re a real class act, Megan. I don’t know what I saw in you.” I turn to Jenie and pat her shoulder, “Anyway, I’ll take care of you, Jenie.”

“Then there isn’t a guarantee that we will get approved for an adoption.” Jenie concentrates on the floor.

“I’ll do everything I can to help you guys. You have my word that I’ll be by your side every step of the way, anything you need.”

“You don’t even know us, Clay.” Jenie lifts her tear-swollen face.

“I don’t have to know you that well to know you’re a good person. You love my baby as much as I do. You were willing to take him and raise him as your own. That’s something in my book, Jenie. Something I won’t forget.”

Jenie’s face crumbles and she reaches out for me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “That doesn’t make this any easier, Clay, but those are kind words.”

Megan rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

A nurse calls Megan back for her appointment, and we all walk back to the small exam room. The nurse instructs Megan to strip from the waist down then hop up on the table. A paper sheet is laying across the end for her to cover up with.

“Go out, Clay. I don’t want you to see me undress,” Megan orders me.

“It’s a little too late for all of that, don’t you think?”

“At least turn around.”

I turn around. I don’t want to look at her anyway. I’d much rather look at all the posters on the wall of the different stages of pregnancy.

I hear Megan finishing up and Jenie helps her on the table. The crinkle of paper alerts me to Megan covering up and I turn. We all stare at each other in awkward silence, and I am thankful when there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Megan says.

“Awe, how are the moms today?” The doctor says, opening the door. He looks over at me and pauses, “Ah, who do we have here?”

“I’m the baby’s father, sir. I recently learned that Megan was pregnant. I plan to take full responsibility for my child.” I extend my hand to him. “I’m Clay Wilson.”

He doesn’t look too impressed with me.

“Do you have help? Being a single parent is hard. I’m not saying it isn’t doable, but you’re awfully young,” he says.

This pisses me off a little, “I have a great support system, sir. I have a wonderful family that is very close. They will all help raise him. They don’t say it takes a village for nothing.”

Jenie gets tearful and excuses herself from the room.

The doctor looks at Megan then back at me. He picks up her file from the counter, opens it, and thumbs through it. He makes a notation, clicks his pen, and gives Megan a suspicious glare.

He walks to the sink, washes his hands then reaches into a box of gloves and takes out a couple. He puts them on one at a time with a snap. “Megan, go ahead and put your feet in the stirrups and move your bottom to the edge of the table.” He walks to the door and sticks his head out, “Lisa, we’re ready for her exam.”

The nurse comes in and stands with a clipboard while he does an internal exam, which looks very uncomfortable. He tells Megan the baby has dropped and is in position. The nurse scribbles notes. The rest of the appointment is filled by the doctor giving Megan instructions regarding what to expect when labor approaches and when to notify him of her condition.

He takes off his gloves, throws them away, and walks over to the sink again. While he washes his hands, he thanks Lisa for her help.

“How much longer do you think she has to go?” I ask him.

“With her being thirty-seven weeks, she could deliver any day now. Have you done your pre-registration with the hospital, Megan? Have your overnight bag packed?” He gives her a warm smile, offering her his hand to help her sit up.

“Yes, I did all of that last week like you suggested.”

“Megan, Clay, if you need me before next week, please call the office.” He leaves the office with tightly drawn lips.

“Clay, step out and let me get dressed.”

I step out of the room to make her happy and to simply keep the peace. I lean up against the wall waiting on her to finish up, which she’s apparently taking her sweet time doing. I take out my cellphone and notice I have a missed message from Lizzie.

Lizzie:  Hey
.

I quickly send her a reply.

Clay:  Hey
, Babe.

I hate I missed a text from her. I’d turned my phone on silent before entering the building.

Lizzie: What are you doing?

Clay: Not much, what about you?

Lizzie:  Driving.

Clay: Quit texting and driving.

My phone rings, “Hey, Babe,” I whisper.

“Why are we whispering?” Lizzie whispers back.

The sound of amusement in her voice brightens my day, “I’m in the hallway at Megan’s obstetrician’s office.”

“Oh sorry, I had no idea you were doing that. I don’t want to intrude. I’ll talk to you later.” The tone of her voice falls a couple of octaves.  

“You’re not, Babe. The appointment is over. I stepped out so she could get dressed. Where are you off to?”

“I’m on my way to visit a friend.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Maybe.” She gives a soft laugh.

“Who are you going to hang out with, Tink?”

“Actually this is a new friend.”

“I hope you have a good time with your new friend.” I’m not positive, but I think she is teasing me a little.

“I’m sure we will. This is my first time to see her, but Gloria and I’ll have a nice time.”

“Gloria? I don’t know any friend of yours named Gloria.” Now she has me confused.

Megan opens the door, “You’re still here? I figured you would have left by now.” She rolls her eyes.

“Can I call you back in a few minutes?” I ask Lizzie.

“That’s fine. That’ll give you time to think about if you know my friend Gloria.” She laughs.

Lizzie and I say our goodbyes as I follow Megan up to a little sliding window.

A lady in scrubs opens the window, “Okay, Miss Megan, is same time next week good for you, hon?” Her fingers are flying across the keyboard.

“I suppose it will have to do.” Megan lets out a long exaggerated sigh.

“Good. We will see you then.” She shuts the window and goes about her business.

Megan doesn’t say another word to me as she turns to waddle out to her car.

In the parking lot, I notice Jenie standing in front of a vehicle. She appears to have composed herself. “Jenie, are you okay?” I ask as we approach her.

“I apologize that I ran out of there like I did. Megan, I can’t be here and do this now. I know I said I would be in the delivery room, but I don’t think I can. It's wrong for me to be in the delivery room with you, knowing the little fella has a daddy who wants to raise him. Besides, it will hurt like a bitch being there through the whole ordeal and not being able to take him home.” Jenie reaches up and wipes away a single tear. She walks around and gets into the driver’s side of the car.

“I guess Jenie is giving up on being the momma. She’s a much better woman than I am. He is yours, Clay. I hope you’re happy. Oh, you need to come up with $25,000 to pay Jenie back, like today.” She stomps off and gets in the car with Jenie.

Bitch.

I already told Jenie I would pay her back. Megan simply wants to have the last word. Jenie doesn’t have to do much to be a better woman than Megan.

What is her problem with me having my kid? I treated her well while we were dating. We really weren’t all that serious, but when she told me she was pregnant, I wanted all of that to change.

I watch them drive off, more confused now than I’ve ever been in my life.

I reach in my pocket for my phone to call my woman back, “Hey, I’m back. Sorry, I had to cut our conversation short.”

“No worries. Are you all done with Megan?” Lizzie asks.

“Yeah, I’m all done.”

“I’m almost to Gloria’s. What are you up to next?”

“I’m going to check in with John to see if there is any progress on his end. Plus, I need to let him know what happened with the lady who was wanting to adopt.”

“Wanting to adopt? Does that mean she doesn’t want to anymore?”

“I think so, but Megan is still being a bitch so I don’t know what to do, Lizzie. I’m ready for him to be born so I can bring him to Alabama. I hope I never have to lay my eyes on that bitch again as long as I live.”