Love Me True (10 page)

He was doomed for a miserable life.

The conviction that Clarry still loved his brother cut deep into his soul. Perhaps he should move away from the district as his father suggested. At least they might stand a small hope of being content.

Footsteps crunched on gravel and a dark shape joined him. “Jus…”

“Tris…” When a flask appeared before him, Justin accepted it and downed the contents whole.

“I apologize for interrupting you and Miss Wheaton earlier.”

Justin passed the empty flask back and leaned against the wall. “There’s no need.”

“But I interrupted at an inopportune time.”

Justin shook his head, and the stars left trails of light behind them in his vision. “Despite what you think you saw, nothing has changed. The woman loves you.”

“Are you sure about that now? It seems to me you were making spectacular progress with her.”

Justin stood and took a few steps. The world held steady and he could still feel his broken heart.
Not drunk enough yet.
He turned to glance at his brother’s face. The face his future wife adored. “Lust and love are not the same, Tristan. As a newly married man, you should still remember the difference.”

Justin stepped back into the tavern and picked up another tankard. Tonight, his only company would be himself and an ale barrel. But he was aware that Tristan hovered anxiously across the room, watching him drown his sorrows in the bitter tasting brew.

~ * ~

Clarry lifted her head from the pillow at the sound of rapid footsteps approaching her door. She held her breath hoping that Justin had come home so she could find out what exactly she’d done to offend him earlier. Despite all her ponderings, she was no closer to understanding him. When she’d received a note from the duchess saying that she was otherwise engaged for the evening and that Clarry could eat alone in her room she had jumped at the chance. A few hours of privacy were a blessing.

But when she’d discovered that Justin had left her alone at the Hall she’d begun to fret. She hadn’t seen him or anyone in hours, except for servants bringing her dinner. The silence made her uncomfortable.

A soft knock made her jump, but the door swung open before she had a chance to call out in return. The duchess hurried forward. “Well?”

Clarry glanced around her. Well what? Had she forgotten something important she was meant to do for the duchess? She could remember every awkward conversation they’d shared up till now and at no time had the duchess asked her for anything. However, her mind was too full with worry over Justin right now to care if she’d disappointed the dragon. “Well what, Your Grace?”

The duchess hopped up onto the bed beside her. Clarry gaped as Justin’s mother swung her feet two and fro. The movement hypnotized. “I understand that you and Justin quarreled today?”

Had they? She knew she’d been dismissed out of hand as an unwanted companion. But quarrel? Didn’t it take two to make an argument? “I couldn’t say, Your Grace?”

The duchess continued to swing her feet. “We will have to do something about that, too, eventually. But right now we have a bigger decision to make. What are you going to do?”

Clarry wrenched her gaze away from the duchess’s pink satin slippers and shook her head. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Your Grace.” She slipped from the bed and threw her shawl about her shoulders.

The duchess heaved a heavy sigh. “What are you going to do about loving my son?”

Clarry’s breath caught. “Justin told you?”

“Of course not. Most men would not admit out loud that love existed let alone mention the topic to his mother. But Justin is different. He has waited for love to tap his shoulder all his life. However, I do think you should tell him just so there is no misunderstanding. He deserves the truth before your vows are spoken.”

Clarry plunked down on a chair as the air left her lungs. “Justin knows already. And he’s prepared to overlook it and marry me anyway.”

The duchess snorted. “Overlook that the woman he loves more than his last breath loves him back. Does madness run in your family, my dear?”

Clarry shook her head again. The duchess was going to be vastly unhappy but Clarry couldn’t let her misunderstand the situation any longer. “Lord Justin is well aware of my affection for Lord Ramsbury. He’s known that from the start of this whole horrid business.”

The duchess’s feet stopped swinging. “You love both my sons? How extraordinary.”

“No, no, no, Your Grace. I only love one.”

“And which one would that be. The one who is forever beyond reach or the one you’re waiting up for like a homeless hound. Justin has bent over backward to make you happy and comfortable here. And yet, the night before the wedding, it is he who has run away to drown his sorrows and not you.”

Clarry’s chest burned. “The night before—”

“The duke has returned earlier than expected with the special license. No matter. The nuptials between you and Justin will be held at eleven tomorrow, regardless of the state of my sons head. After all the moaning and whimpering the pair of you have uttered in this room there is no chance of delay or escape. So don’t even consider changing your mind, Clarry.”

At the duchess’s use of her shortened given name, Clarry looked up, studying the duchess. Despite the threat that had just crossed her lips, Her Grace appeared giddy with happiness. She fairly jumped from the bed and crossed the room to cup her hands about Clarry’s face. She smiled a little dreamily then drew Clarry into her arms.

At first, the gentle hug shocked her. But then, after a while, being in the duchess’s embrace reminded her of her own long-gone mother and how much she missed such impulsive affection. Clarry rested her hands on the duchess’s back and the little woman rocked her as if she were a baby. “My son has the most generous heart, Clarry. Whatever misunderstanding exists between you will be forgiven once you tell him you’ve discovered where your affections truly lie. Regardless of your misguided infatuation for my eldest son, Justin has loved only you. I may not have recognized you in his poetry from the start but I know see you now. He writes about you constantly. Not ever by name, but you are his muse—his reason for coming home despite the likelihood of rejection.”

The duchess’s words brought a lump to Clarry throat. She must be mistaken?

Justin had never given a hint his feeling were deeper than that of any other gentleman until she’d thrown herself into the wrong bed. Had he loved her all along and she’d been blinded by Lord Ramsbury’s brilliance? Poor Justin. She’d hurt him and she’d never understood what she was doing to him.

She’d clung to the hope for love with a man who never wanted her. Clarry dropped her head to the duchess’s shoulder as tears pricked her eyes. Had she really thought love could only be found with a titled husband? Given that she’d failed to even notice Justin’s affections before, it was obvious that she had. She was so ashamed of how she’d treated him. The love she’d hoped for her entire life, the one she read about in the pages of Justin’s journal, lay within reach after all if only she could fix her mistake.

The duchess patted her back and then set Clarry away from her, her gaze solemn and somewhat watery too. She sniffed. “Now, about the other, more important, matter. I think, given the circumstances of this marriage, that you had better refer to me as Mother from now on. An appearance of familiarity between us will end any gossip when we return to London for the season.”

Call the duchess Mother? Maybe she was mad or perhaps she’d fallen asleep and merely dreamed this whole encounter. Clarry shook her head to see if she could awaken. This must all be a frightening illusion.

The duchess frowned. “Has my reputation as a dragon grown so fearsome that you cannot look beyond it? Justin has chosen to remain here at Staplehurst Hall for your benefit. I had hoped not to hear another person Your Grace me at all hours of the day and night. I had once wished for daughters too, a large family, but was blessed with only my sons.”

When the duchess put it like that Clarry felt particularly churlish to deny her. She wouldn’t be betraying her own mother, wherever she may be, by any familiarity with her future mother-in-law. In fact, Clarry could become used to it. Perhaps she could try it on for size. “I did not mean to give offense, Mother.”

The duchess’s nose wrinkled. “Hmm, perhaps Mama would be better. Mother sounds extremely dragon like, but we shall see how we get along and adapt if necessary. Now, since everything of importance has been settled, into bed with you young lady. I want you well rested for tomorrow’s festivities.”

The duchess, Mama, Clarry reminded herself, pushed and bullied until Clarry was tucked tightly into bed. As she stared up at the canopy, the duchess came close with the candle and pressed a light kiss to her brow.

Startled by the motherly peck, Clarry sat up again. “Where’s Justin?”

The duchess brushed Clarry’s hair back over her shoulder and let out a disapproving huff. “Deep in his cups at the tavern. Tristan sent word that he is keeping watch over his brother and will see he presents himself for the ceremony tomorrow.”

“Why is he drinking tonight? I don’t understand why he changed so suddenly today. Everything seemed fine until Lord Roderick arrived.”

The duchess touched her cheek gently. “From what I understand, Lord Roderick arrived at the swimming hole with my eldest son. And since Justin still thinks you favor his brother, I am sure your agile mind can understand his anxiety. Men are such fragile creatures and so easy to offend if their desirability is called into question. I suggest you explain your change of heart as soon as you can. Before the wedding, if at all possible. I’d much rather a joyous ceremony than a solemn one. Think about it before morning comes.”

Clarry covered her face to hide her embarrassment. “Do you know everything?”

The duchess touched her head. “Not everything at first, but eventually, yes. One of the advantages of my position.”

She let herself out and Clarry lay back on her pillows. Justin had loved her all along and she’d been breaking his heart without knowing it. Of course she cared for him now. He’d been so kind. But love? Clarry curled into a ball on her side to consider the matter. Despite the circumstances, he’d had done his best to protect her—even from his mother’s earlier fussing. And he did make her feel heavenly. His kisses, his hands, his skills in this very bed had turned her ideas of making love on its head.

Would he still lie with her and cuddle her close as he had done so often these last days when they were older? She did love that. Would any man want to hold her in his arms all night if he doubted he was loved in return?

The thought of lying in this bed with another repulsed her. In fact, now that she considered the matter, she’d be horrified to let Lord Ramsbury see her as Justin had—naked and breathless after his lovemaking. But if the one you love made you that way shouldn’t that be acceptable? Did that mean she didn’t love Lord Ramsbury, not even a little, anymore? Had she loved him at all, or just loved the idea of being married?

Clarry rolled onto her back and thumped the mattress with both fists. If Justin were here she could talk to him and perhaps they could both sort out this mess. But tonight he was drinking to soothe his bruised pride, and the heart she’d apparently wounded. An effort that might not be necessary at all if she did in fact love him as the duchess claimed. But was it possible to fall completely in love in just three days?

CHAPTER TEN

The heavy ivory silk gown slid up Clarry’s arms and settled into place as if made for her. While the duchess’s maid circled behind her back to tie the laces firmly, Clarry stared into the mirror and tried to control her nervousness. She would marry today, at eleven in the duchess’s drawing room before the lingering guests from Lord Ramsbury’s recent ceremony. There had been half a dozen or so ensconced about the Hall yet other than brief introductions at dinner, Justin and the duchess had kept Clarry well away from them.

Well, she would marry today if Justin did, in fact, return to the hall. His bedchamber had been painfully quiet this morning.

“Drop you hand, Clarry. Enough of that.”

Guiltily, Clarry forced her nails down and away from her mouth. She was so nervous that Justin wouldn’t arrive for the ceremony that she’d resumed a childish habit she’d thought long forgotten. The duchess, Mama, had scolded her twice already since she’d risen from bed. To distract herself, Clarry fingered the seed pearls adorning her décolleté. The stunning gown had transformed her from merely pretty to a princess in wait for her prince. She’d hardly recognized herself. “I cannot thank you enough for the gown, Mama. I never imagined I’d wear something so fine.”

The duchess fussed with the sleeves. “A bride deserves something pretty on her wedding day. Your mother would have taken care of the matter beautifully. Jane has excellent taste.”

Clarry frowned at the mention of her mother’s name. She’d stopped thinking about her a long time ago except occasionally. Her abandonment still hurt, even if she’d come to realize that staying with her father would have crushed her spirit completely.

“Now, I have a few matters to take care of before the ceremony—”

 
“Such as ensure Justin comes,” Clarry whispered.

The duchess slipped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “Tristan says that he’s awake and reeling from a dreadful head, but will be delivered on time as promised. I probably shouldn’t pass this along but Tristan had to dump a bucket of cold water over Justin’s head to wake him. It’s been an eventful morning at the dower house.”