Love Me Tonight (3 page)

“Are you in bed?” he called to her after putting away the groceries.

“I am, and I'm sorry, Judson. It's really nice of you
to do this, but I'm feeling too sick to be civil, much less good company.”

At least she didn't apologize for the way she looked, and she needn't have. The woman looked great even with a runny nose, watery eyes. He walked into her room where she was clutching the covers tight around her neck. Why didn't that surprise him? He didn't laugh, but it took a lot to keep a straight face. “Have you had lunch?”

“I don't think I ate today, but if you brought me eggs, I'll scramble them and eat a bit later.”

He removed his jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. “I can do that, Heather. Don't get up. I'll find what I need.”

He awakened her sometime later to the aroma of chicken. He had placed a tray on a chair beside her bed. “Think you could eat a little something?” he asked her in a tender voice.

When she tried to sit up, Judson reached over, and propped some pillows behind her back. “If you'll give me a second, I'll get you a damp towel and you can wash you face.” He came back with the towel and handed it to her. “You'll feel better.”

She did as he suggested. “You're right. I do.” She looked at the tray beside the bed. “You fixed all that?”

“It isn't much. If you eat a little of everything, you'll feel better. And take this Ester-C vitamin.” He put the tray in her lap and sat on the chair.

“Chicken soup.” She tasted it. “Judson, this is delicious. Why'd you go to all this trouble?”

“I wanted to make you feel badly for blowing me off,” he said with a smile.

With the spoon halfway between the soup bowl and her mouth, she paused and looked at him with a curious expression. Suddenly she laughed. “You're sarcastic, and I wouldn't have thought so.” She tasted the soup. “This is so good.”

“Eat some of the eggs. You need the protein.”

She ate the two scrambled eggs. “Hmm. You weren't kidding.” She frowned slightly and seemed to be making up her mind about something. She finished chewing the toast and put her fork on the tray.

“I want to ask you about something you said the night we met, and if you think I'm out of line, just say so. I can handle it.”

“Fine. As long as you don't ask me why I'm here.”

“I wasn't going to ask that. The night we met, you said ‘I was lucky I was anybody's child.' Scott didn't say anything, but it got me thinking. May I ask what you meant?”

 

He never had liked answering personal questions. He had nothing to hide, but he liked his privacy and guarded it tenaciously. Considering where the conversation seemed headed, it was better that she know now rather than later. “I was adopted, Heather, and now that both of my parents have died, I'm at a loss about my birth parents. I never asked my mother and father, because they loved me so much, and I was a happy child. But I always wanted to know about my background, especially who I looked like. I didn't ask
them because I was afraid they'd think I was unhappy or that I was lacking something that I thought my birth parents could have given me.”

“I'm sorry, Judson. Your parents seem to have done exceedingly well by you.”

“Absolutely. They couldn't have done a better job, and especially since I was at times very wayward.”

“You!” she exclaimed, in a teasing voice.

“I had a mind of my own, and if I didn't see the logic in something, I wouldn't do it. That caused friction between me and my parents until they understood and took the time to explain things to me. By the time I was twelve, we didn't have those problems.”

“I can't imagine how important it is to you to know who your biological parents are, but will you be terribly unhappy if you don't find them?”

“I don't have to meet them, Heather. I just want to know who they are or were. Then I'll have a better sense of who I am. My adoption probably improved my chances for a good life, so I don't think I missed out on anything material.”

She resumed eating her soup. “This is so good.” She put down her spoon. “Judson, if your adoptive parents loved each other and treated you well, you are fortunate. My parents constantly fought. Dad claims that they were madly in love when they first got married, though I never believed it—they acted as if they hated each other. When I was nine, my mother had had it. She left, and I have no idea where she is. When I asked my father about her, he said marriage was very difficult for her,
that the day-to-day discipline of marriage didn't suit everyone. I believe that.”

He could see that it still pained her. “I'm sorry that your childhood was unpleasant. What does your father do?”

Her pride was obvious when she smiled and said, “He taught history at the university until he retired six years ago. They've named a distinguished chair for him in the department. Now, unfortunately, he's confined to the house and sometimes to bed. He hasn't been well for a couple of years.”

“At least you still have him with you,” Judson said. “Do everything you can for him, so when he's gone, you won't have any regrets.”

She closed her eyes briefly, and he imagined that the thought of losing her father hurt her. He covered her hand with his because he couldn't help it. “Is there anyone close to you?” She let her hand remain covered by his.

“Thanks. There's Annie. She keeps house for my father and takes care of him. She's like a mother to me. Father hired her after my mother left, and…I used to wish he'd marry her.”

“So you'd have a mother?”

She looked at him almost as if seeing him for the first time. “I don't know. I hadn't figured that out. Maybe. You are very perceptive.”

He could see that she was beginning to tire. “Let me take that tray back to the kitchen. I've stayed too long, and you're getting tired.” While he cleaned the kitchen, his mind traveled back to their conversation.
He hoped they would get to know each other, and after today he liked her even more than before. She was compassionate and caring, and those traits in a woman meant everything to him.

“I'd better go, Heather. Do you mind if I look in on you or call to see how you are?”

“I don't mind at all. I don't think I'll go in to work tomorrow, but I may. Mind can control matter.”

“I don't doubt that one bit,” he said.

“Thank you for the visit, for the company and for my wonderful supper.”

“The pleasure was mine.” He put a bottle of Ester-C vitamins in her hand. “Take two before you sleep.” Then, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. He hadn't planned to do it, and he surprised himself. “Don't go to sleep without locking that door.”

“It will lock automatically when you leave, but I'll double check.” She seemed suddenly pensive. “Judson, I don't lead a normal life. If you invest your time in me, it may prove futile.”

“Don't be so sure. Good night, Heather.”

“Good night, Judson.”

He got on the elevator and, after standing there for a while, realized that he forgot to push the button. As he descended, he felt a growing confidence. He took a chance, and it paid off. Heather Tatum wouldn't be easy. She had to be tended like a seedling in a garden. Fine with him. He had the time and the patience.

When he got home, he greeted his dog, Rick, checked his answering machine and saw that he had five calls from Scott.

He dialed Scott's home number. “What's eating you? I didn't get five calls from you all last month,” Judson said.

“Where the heck were you? How's Heather? Is she mad at me?”

He sat down, rested his left ankle on his right knee and prepared to enjoy himself. “How would I know? To the best of my knowledge, she didn't mention your name.”

“Come on, man. How is she?”

“Well, when I give a woman TLC, she becomes as soft as a pillow. You should try it.”

“Judson,” Scott said firmly. “Heather's my friend. Is she all right?”

“She has a bad cold, and she hadn't eaten all day. So I gave her soup, scrambled eggs and toast.”

“Good. Are the two of you going to be friends? I mean…you know what I mean.”

“We talked and got to know each other a little better. She's interesting and extremely likeable. We'll see how it goes. I'd better get something to eat and start going through my mother's effects. I don't know why, but I dread it.”

“I'll get some pizza and a salad. You got any beer?”

“Always.”

“I'll be over there in an hour.”

He changed into blue jeans and a T-shirt and went into his mother's bedroom. Rick trailed behind him as usual. He got the cardboard box from the closet, put it on the bed and sat down. After removing the rubber
band holding the bundle of papers, he carefully opened each sheet. Some sheets of paper had already begun to crumble with age.

“What's this?” he said as he stared at the death certificate of an infant who had died. He wondered if that was why he'd been adopted. He put the death certificate aside along with the newspaper clipping of the birth announcement. They could prove useful.

Before long, Scott arrived with a pepperoni-and-mushroom pizza, a Greek salad and a cheesecake. “You planning to feed a football team?” Judson chided him. While they ate, he told Scott what he'd found so far.

“You mean you've never seen your birth certificate?” Scott asked him. “How'd you get into school?”

“I've had a passport since I was three, and my parents renewed it every year. When I became an adult, I did the same.”

“You have to find your birth certificate.”

“I found a newspaper clipping about a child who was born in Hagerstown. I'm going to see if I can find anyone who knows why my parents would save that birth notice.”

“Well, do it without making a fuss. Don't forget that you're pretty well-known in this area.”

“Yeah. I hadn't thought of that.

“I don't see anything else in these papers, except property deeds, an infant death certificate, their marriage certificate and that sort of thing. I'll go through this stuff again after time puts some distance between me and all this.”

H
eather got up, put the chain latch on the door and went to the kitchen for some water. She wanted to take the vitamin that Judson had brought her. She had expected to see dirty dinner dishes, pots and pans and cooking utensils piled up in the sink. Instead, the kitchen looked immaculate. She looked into the refrigerator and saw that Judson had put away the eggs and butter precisely as she would have.

“Hmm.” She wouldn't have suspected that he was a neat freak. She got a glass of water and went back to bed. She owned several sexy negligees, yet Judson Philips had caught her looking frumpy. But so what? He had shown her that he could be sweet as well as charming, that he was thoughtful and kind. She couldn't say that she was sorry about Judson's visit, but she had
a little pang in the region of her heart. Maybe the day would come when she could let herself freely go with a man she cared about and who cared for her, but she couldn't for now. She had too far to go and a rough road ahead. But somehow…

Judson had grown up in a loving family. She needed to talk to her father. The explanation that “marriage didn't suit everybody” suddenly did not suffice. There was always a reason why a marriage was in turmoil.

She reached for the phone and dialed Annie. “Hi. How's Daddy?”

“I was reading the paper to him and he dosed off to sleep. He does that a lot lately.”

“I've got a cold, but if I can get better soon, I'll be over there Friday and spend the weekend.”

“It'll be good. He always cheers up when you're here.”

 

Heather drove her own car to Hagerstown. She always felt guilty whenever her chauffeur spent a weekend sitting in the limousine with nothing to do, because she didn't want to go anyplace. She parked in front of the family home, a white-brick Georgian, and went inside.

She hugged Annie, who met her at the door. “Hi. Is Daddy awake?”

“Yes, indeed. And he was so excited when I told him you'd be here. He's in his room.”

She dashed up the stairs to her father's room and knocked on the door. “Come in.” His once-deep baritone had become the voice of a weaker, older man.

“Hi, Daddy,” she said as she walked in his bedroom and saw him sitting in his big chair looking out the window. She leaned down, kissed his cheek and hugged him.

“Heather! How good to see you. Talking to you on the phone is one thing, but it's always so good when you're here. How was Cairo?”

“I always enjoy Egypt, Daddy. But progress is slow, and those conferences often seem more of a diplomatic liability than an asset.”

“You're impatient. Until people begin to share information about their problems and look for solutions together, no progress will be made at all. Scott called me yesterday. I always wished you two would get together, but once you started that brother-sister thing, it didn't stand a chance,” he teased.

She couldn't help smiling. After three years, her father still hoped for the impossible between Scott and her. “He's my best friend, Daddy.”

She didn't think it time to bring up what she came there to discuss with him. Her father wouldn't jump right into a conversation about his personal life, so she'd have to ease into it.

 

On Sunday morning after breakfast when the time approached to leave, she figured that she had no choice but to bring it up. But, he surprised her by saying that he had something to tell her.

“Let's sit out on the back terrace where it's sunny and warm,” she said, walking with him, matching his slow, unsteady pace.

“I guess you know I'm not getting better, Heather.” She leaned forward, knowing her father would say it, yet not wanting to hear it. “Nothing's imminent, but we both have to prepare for it. I am not going to get better. I know it, and my doctor knows it.”

“But, Daddy, how can you say that? You're much better today than when I was last here.”

“And I may be much worse tomorrow. That's the way it goes, dear,” he said kindly. “But I don't want you to worry. I've had a very good life, and you've been the best part of it.”

She patted his hand and counseled herself not to shed a single tear. “You know, Daddy, a couple of weeks ago Scott introduced me to his closest friend, Judson Philips. We're attracted to each other, and he's kind and—”

“The lawyer?”

She nodded.

“I've heard a lot about him.”

She had told him about Judson's visit when she was sick earlier that week.

“He's obviously interested in seeing whether the two of you can make it,” her father stated. “What's holding you back?”

“Dad, you said some people aren't suited to marriage. Maybe I'm one of them. After all, my mother wasn't.”

“I see.” He looked into the distance, took a deep breath and shook his head.

“You were twelve or so when I told you that. It was an explanation that a child could understand, but I see that it gave you the wrong impression. You see, I was crazy in love with your mother, but Linda was in love
with someone else, and I knew it. I thought I could teach her to love me. For a while, she tried to make a go of it, but she never stopped loving him. The relationship between us got worse, much worse. She knew how much I loved her and, because she was miserable, she baited me and every conversation led to an argument. One day, she called me at work and said she wouldn't be there when I got home and that I should tell you whatever I thought would make it easier for you.”

“And you never heard from her again?”

“Not once. I have a strong feeling that she went to the other man, Lyle Carter. I didn't blame her for that. I knew she was in love with him, but I always worried about her because he could be cruel.” At her silence, he continued. “I know this is a lot for you to take in. Don't hate her. She thought I would be her salvation, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't make her forget him.”

“Do you still care about her after all these years?”

He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. “I won't say I'm still in love with her. That ended long ago. But the pain's still there. After all, she gave me you, and for that, I'll always have feelings for her.”

“You're right. I wasn't expecting this.”

He sat forward and braced his hands on his knees. “I want you to listen to me because what I'm telling you is important. Go ahead and pursue your goal of becoming a diplomat, but if that's all you accomplish in life, you won't have a sense of fulfillment. You need friends, spiritual fulfillment and the love of a man who loves you. If you're fortunate, you'll have children. Give Judson Philips a chance.”

She thought about what her father had said for a minute and then spoke before thinking. “Why didn't you give Annie a chance? She's devoted her life to you.”

A smile played around his lips. “You're a smart one. We settled that years ago. She was afraid people would think she was living in sin and refused to be seen with me outside of this house. I told her that I wouldn't settle for a woman who was ashamed of me. No woman was going to hide me in her closet.”

 

Driving home that afternoon, Heather carried a weight on her mind that she hadn't before. Her father was terminally ill. What she'd believed about her parents' marriage was suddenly called into question. Her father and Annie cared for each other but were too stubborn to do anything about it. And the person she loved and respected most had challenged her to find out what kind of man Judson Philips might be. She could take his advice, or she could be stubborn. Stubbornness had always been a part of her makeup. She didn't know what to do. Maybe she wouldn't do anything.

By the time Heather arrived home, she admitted grudgingly that Judson was as likeable as he was attractive. She was accustomed to trusting her mind, but it wasn't working properly because her father had unsettled her in a way that would have put Einstein in a quandary. “What the hell!” she said to herself as she unlocked the door of her apartment. “I'll deal with it.”

 

More that ever, Judson felt an urge to know who he was. He was thirty-four years old, and the time would
soon come when he would want to marry and raise a family. He figured he ought to know more about his background, if only for his children's sake.

“I suspect I'm going to need all the financial resources I can muster,” he said to Scott when they spoke by phone Sunday evening.

“So you're going to really pursue it, huh? A lot of adoption papers are sealed. It won't be easy.”

He tapped the nightstand with his rubber eraser. “I'm going a different route. I believe I know where I was born, and I'll take it from there. If I hit a blank wall, I'll figure out something else. Right now, my gut instinct is to begin with the bits of information I have. I'll be busy. I've taken on a new case and it's going to be tough.”

“What's the topic?”

“A radiology report that led to a misdiagnosis.”

“Did the patient die as a result?”

“No. The patient's and the doctor's reputations were injured. I'll file suit in about six weeks.”

“You sound pretty confident.”

“There's no guesswork.” He paused. “Have you seen Heather this week?”

“She was at work Friday. She told me she was worried about her dad.”

“I gathered as much the day I visited her. Gotta go.”

He hung up and dialed Heather's number. “This is Judson,” he said when she answered. “How are you feeling?”

“Not much of my cold left, Judson. How are you?”

“I'm fine. How's your dad?”

“I just left him. We had a good visit, but he told me that neither he nor his doctor expects his condition to improve. I had to keep a straight face. I didn't want him to start worrying about me. But th-this is awful, Judson.”

“Believe me, I know. If you don't have any plans, would you have dinner with me? I know it's a last-minute invitation, but I want to see you. Maybe you'd feel better with some company.”

She didn't hesitate. “I may not be good company, but if you think I won't ruin your Sunday evening, okay. Give me about forty-five minutes.”

Just the kind of woman he liked. Not a hint of coyness. “I'll be there at seven o'clock.” He hung up. Whether she agreed because of her mood, or because she liked his company was immaterial. She'd agreed to see him; he could handle the rest.

 

At least he'll see me without a runny nose,
Heather thought, rationalizing why she'd agreed to have dinner with Judson. She rarely got depressed, but her father and Annie were all she had, and the thought of losing her father was more than she was able to contemplate right now. She went to her closet and scanned it for anything that was attractive and red, a color that always made her feel outgoing and confident.

Her V-neck, sleeveless dress had a wide, multitiered skirt, and when she looked at herself in the full-length mirror, she thought of her college graduation.

“You've come a long way in a short time,” she said aloud. The doorbell rang. She looked down at her red
toenails peeping through the straps of her three-inch heel, black patent-leather sandals and wondered what Judson would think of them. She was who she was. Tossing her head, she strolled to the door and opened it.

“Hi. You're right on time. Come in.”

He handed her three calla lilies—red, purple and yellow—wrapped in cellophane and tied with a red ribbon. “Hi. How are you feeling?”

“I'm making it. These flowers are lovely. I think they're precisely what I need. Just the right touch.”

“Thank you. I've chosen an Italian restaurant that specializes in seafood, but if you'd prefer something else, I have a couple of alternatives.”

“Excuse me a minute.” She went into the kitchen, put the flowers in a vase with water and returned with them. “I think I'll put them in the living room on the coffee table. When I get back I'll put them on my nightstand. And by the way, I love Italian food. Italian is always your best bet with me.”

“I'm glad to know that,” he said.

Heather grabbed a white cashmere sweater and joined him.

“Ready?” he asked.

She locked the door to her house and followed Judson to his car. “How did I know you'd drive a Buick?” She said aloud and immediately wished she could have kicked herself.

“Now, you are definitely going to have to explain that,” he said.

“You are not ostentatious, but you like quality. My
second guess would be a Mercedes, but that's got status written all over it, so you'd choose something else.”

He glanced at her as he pulled away from the curb. “And to think I've had the impression that I'm complicated. I'm not a show-off. You're right about that. I love the Mercedes coupe, but this car uses less gas and is kinder to the environment. How did you get to Hagerstown?”

“I drove. State Department gives me a chauffeured car, but I'd rather not use it for personal business, unless I have to. I do use it at night. My car's a Lexus.” She held up her hand. “I know. I should be helping our environment, but at least I'm helping our employment rate, since that car's made here.”

“How long does it take you to drive to Hagerstown?”

“An hour and a half or so, but one day I'll get caught.”

“I won't go there,” he kidded. “I'm planning on visiting Hagerstown soon to begin looking for my birth parents. I found a birth announcement for a boy who'd be about my age. Coincidently, my adoptive mother was born there.”

Heather didn't want to discourage Judson, so she said, “You have to look everywhere until you're successful, so starting with the birth announcement newspaper clipping is as good a place as any. Will you be looking for any relatives?”

“That's the idea. Some of them may know something.”