Love Me Tomorrow (24 page)

Jake smiled, staring at Levi for a moment. “It’s work-related stuff.”

Levi motioned around the room, which they’d already made a mess of. “As opposed to
my
work-related stuff for which I’ve happily enlisted your help?”

“I don’t want to drag you into my personal crap.”

“You’re not, Jake. For Christ’s sake, I’m attempting to dive right into the muck, in case you hadn’t noticed. So come out with it now or listen to me whine incessantly until you cave in and tell me anyway.”

The expression on his face went dark again, the way he’d looked in the elevator earlier. “You catch any of the reports on the news yesterday about the thirty-three car pile-up on the interstate?”

Levi nodded when Jake glanced up at him.

“We were called out on that,” he said, his voice getting softer.

Levi instantly felt like crap for pushing him, recalling there had been a high number of casualties.

“There was a kid… a boy… only nine years old,” Jake said, rubbing his eyes.

Levi now knew why he’d slept through his alarm. He’d very likely not slept much, if at all.

“The kids, man, they’re the toughest, you know?” Jake asked.

“I can imagine.”

“The mom had been thrown from car. She was in bad shape but he was trapped inside the car. I sat with him, lying on top of the car which had been turned up on its side, sandwiched in between two other vehicles. It was just me and the kid, waiting for the fire department to get to us—needed to cut him out of the car.”

“They couldn’t just rip the door off and shimmy down in there and pull him out?” Levi asked.

Jake shook his head. “He had a four foot piece of copper pipe pinning him to the seat. Came through the windshield from the semi-truck that jack-knifed, causing the accident and went right through his abdomen.”

“Jesus, Jake, I’m sorry.”

“He didn’t seem to be in any pain.” Jake glanced up at Levi, his eyes beginning to well up. “Musta severed his spine, you know? The hood of the car was caved in. I couldn’t get inside to sit with him.”

“What was his name?” Levi asked.

Jake smiled. “Jimmy… They were traveling to his grandparents for the holiday. I kept him talking, asking him what he was looking forward to eating at Thanksgiving, what he wanted for Christmas… Eventually he stopped answering.”

Taking a deep breath, Jake glanced up at the ceiling. “Fuck.”

“At least he wasn’t alone, right?” Levi asked.

“Fat lot of good that did him,” Jake snapped. “Fucking useless, I was.”

“That’s not fair,” Levi said, his tone getting sharp. “That’s bullshit and I won’t listen to it, Jake Freeman. If you’d have been capable of doing anything you damn well would have, so don’t you dare sit here and berate yourself because you aren’t capable of ripping through metal with your bare hands.”

Jake was staring—eyebrows hitched like he was surprised by that.

“I’m sorry, but you’re a good man, Jake. I know you well enough to understand that compulsion to blame yourself, but you didn’t cause that accident.”

They both sat there for several moments looking at one another, neither of them saying anything.

“He was into Legos,” Jake said, folding his arms over his chest, likely hoping to either hold his own emotions in or to prevent Levi from getting any further inside.

“And you’re coming with me to Ruby’s for dinner,” Levi said, holding up a finger when Jake opened his mouth to protest. “You’ll do as you’re told and you’ll like it.”

Jake scowled, apparently not a huge fan of being told what to do.

“Don’t give me that look,” he added. “It’s just Chinese food in front of the television with old movies, so you won’t even need to talk much if you don’t want to.”

Jake sat there but didn’t say a word.

“Not that anyone can get a word in edgewise when Ruby gets going, anyway.”

He cracked a faint hint of a half-smile over that one, which Levi decided was Jake’s version of waving the white flag. They each went back to the task at hand, working silently, side by side, with Jake occasionally piping in to give a little background on one of the photos that caught his eye.

It made him sad that Jake was so good when it came to helping others, but complete shit at accepting it from anyone else. He wondered why it was always the people who actually deserved help and support that ended up being the worst at taking it.

Completely pigheaded.

Levi tried holding onto that particular personality flaw, thinking it might ruin Jake for him if he clung to it long enough. Unfortunately, the same quality which would annoy the hell out of him in anyone else managed to seem endearing on Jake.

The bastard.

* * * *

Jake was staring out the passenger side window of Levi’s car as they headed back into the city from Ruby’s. He’d managed to steal a few minutes alone before they left Julia’s and gave his mother a heads-up about Jake’s mood and the reason behind it. By the time they’d arrived with more Chinese food than the three of them could ever hope to eat in one sitting, Ruby had gotten herself all dolled up, looking shiny as a brand new penny. Dressed in baggy wool slacks and a big, fuzzy pink sweater, Levi had to admit it was nice seeing her out of her jammies—beautiful as her nightgowns were.

It was evident Ruby was feeling good and she took to monopolizing the conversation the instant they walked through the door. She was like Auntie Mame, blathering on a mile a minute and it wasn’t long before she had Jake laughing. She’d used a good chunk of her best material, but entertain the man, she quite successfully did.

About an hour into the second movie, Jake passed out, his head resting on Levi’s shoulder. He’d smiled weakly at his mother, able to see it on her face. Ruby knew her son was in love but Levi shook his head at her when she opened her mouth to say something. She didn’t need to, for one, because Levi knew exactly what she’d tell him.

Darling, you can’t let true love pass you by because of a technicality.

As if Jake’s relationship with Voldemort were of little consequence to her.

If Jake truly loves you, you’d be doing him and Voldemort a favor by splitting them up.

Okay, so she wouldn’t have referred to Victor by
that
name, but the rest of it was spot on. Unfortunately, from where Levi sat, karma was a two-faced bitch, and while he’d never been a believer in the Bible, that whole do-unto-others bit sounded pretty rational. Jake and Victor might end up splitting up some day, but Levi had zero intentions of ever being the reason for it. He wanted a love which could be given freely and willingly, without condition… not by picking pieces off the carcass of someone else’s ruined relationship.

Ruby had scowled at him, as if she’d Jedi mind-tricked her way inside his head and overheard the argument he’d just had with himself.

Sitting silently on the pink suede sofa in his mother’s house, Jake had groaned softly, snuggling into Levi a little more closely. Levi had shut his eyes, fully aware that Ruby had been staring a hole into the side of his head yet thankfully kept her opinions to herself. Levi could have stayed like that forever, snuggled up next to Jake, living off unspoken love and what little contact they’d managed to share. Levi had been ashamed of that fact, but not enough to entice him from moving or forcing Jake to move by waking him up—happy to be submerged in the fantasy for as long as it lasted.

The loud blaring of multiple horns and the screeching of tires ripped him from the warm and fuzzy memories of earlier that afternoon. Levi frowned at the rude-ass drivers that sped past them on the highway and he flicked on his turn signal, beginning to steer the car off the freeway toward the midtown exit.

“Feel like getting a drink?” Jake asked, nearly the first words he’d spoken in the last forty minutes. “We could head down to Maxwell’s? The piano bar should be open by now.”

He checked his side mirror and got back onto the freeway. “Sure, sounds good.”

Levi had the feeling Jake needed to not be alone and it made him feel good to be that person for Jake. It took another twenty minutes to get down to the bar, which had a pretty decent sized crowd already, and a fairly rowdy one judging by the sound coming from the room in the back.

He and Jake managed a seat at the massive wooden bar that stretched nearly the entire length of the main room, minus the stage at the back. While technically considered a gay bar, Maxwell’s had a varied clientele due to the wide variety of live music featured throughout the week. Thursday nights were popular with the theater geeks due in no small part to the piano bar, which kept the place pretty packed. The bar was adjacent to the theater district, which meant there was never a lack of ridiculously talented entertainers on stage belting out the latest show tune du jour on any given evening. Tonight the crowd was a little lighter thanks to the holiday—many of the students from the universities having gone home to visit family.

They each ordered a beer, though Levi could have used something stronger. He still needed to drive Jake back to midtown and then get himself home after that. He planned on having one beer before switching to water or coffee, deciding this might end up being a long night, after all.

“So, where was Angelo today?” Jake asked.

“Um, home… with his family, I guess,” Levi said, thinking the question was an odd one until he remembered they were supposed to be dating.

Jake was grinning, looking a little smug.

Levi didn’t particularly appreciate the man tricking him into revealing he’d been lying about the nature of their relationship all this time.
That’s what I get for letting my guard down around Jake.

“For the record, I never bought into the idea the two of you were a couple.”

Levi felt his face flush with heat. He started to ask why Jake had been so positive of that fact but decided it was a potential land mine neither of them needed to set off.

“You don’t know me, asshole,” Levi said, eliciting a chuckle from Jake.

He and Jake each turned, hearing another burst of loud cheers coming from the back.

“What’s going on back there?” Jake asked the bartender as he handed each of them their beer.

“Engagement party—an impromptu one from what I hear,” he said. “Can I get you two anything else?”

They each shook their heads and he moved down the bar to offer libations to the next group of poor saps who either had nothing better to do for the holiday or were attempting to escape their something-betters in lieu of some fun and frivolity.

“Nice, huh?” Jake asked, nudging his head toward the back room. “Unplanned proposals always seem more romantic, don’t you think?”

Levi shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly. I seriously doubt that whoever popped the question hadn’t already been thinking about it, so realistically, no proposal is likely completely unplanned—discounting Vegas or any other alcohol induced scenario.”

Jake’s eyebrows rose. “Wow, please try to dial back your romantic optimism.”

Laughing, Levi faux-sneered at the man. “I will concede the actual act of proposing might be unplanned, but the thought and act of proposing spontaneously occurring simultaneously? I don’t buy it, at least not from anyone in their right mind.”

“Just when I think I have you pegged.” Jake sighed, staring intently at Levi as he took a swig off his beer.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Levi asked, beginning to squirm on his bar stool.

“You’re so weird.” Jake grinned at Levi’s reaction. “It’s not a bad thing… necessarily.”

“You need to work on your delivery, pal,” Levi said, with a deadpan expression.

“Apologies, it’s just… oh hell, just ignore me, Levi. I’ll drink my beer and shut the fuck up.”

Levi reached over and took Jake’s hand in his. “I’m sorry you’re having such a rough week, Jake.”

They stared into one another’s eyes and for one brief flickering moment, the entire world bled away. Levi became lost in Jake, realizing he would willingly walk away from his own life, his career, his mother… leave behind any and all responsibilities, if doing so meant he could have Jake. It hurt to care for someone so deeply while knowing there could never be a happily-ever-after. Yet Levi couldn’t manage to stay away in spite of that. He knew he should, that at some point he would likely have to if he ever intended to have a life and love of his own with someone who was available and thus capable of returning that love. But for now, the thought of not having Jake in his life hurt more than knowing he would never be able to be with him.

“Levi!”

He and Jake both jumped, letting go of one another’s hand as they turned to see who was yelling at him. Levi frowned, seeing Dan Cain coming out of the back room, followed by a rather lengthy procession of friends, including David Kramer and Todd Everton. David was visibly intrigued by the company Levi was keeping at the bar and Levi prayed he hadn’t seen the whole hand-holding, hypnotizing gaze thing he and Jake had going moments before.

Dan had his arm around the new boyfriend, Kevin, as they approached the bar. Levi forced a smile, thinking how lovely it would be if he never again had to see the man Dan had left Levi for. Getting dumped was never fun, but getting tossed aside for the likes of Kevin the vapid, muscle-twink-from-hell, made the insult sting all the more.