Love Me Or Leave Me (37 page)

‘Ah, where have you been, anyway?’ Tommy’s laughing back at her, arms folded, completely relaxed and not looking a bit like someone who’s meant to be working. ‘Now, if you’re a genuine movie lover, then the Mezzanine in Dundrum is your only man. It’s the nearest thing to a private screening room I’ve certainly ever been to, and sure they get all the new releases in there first. Course the tickets are that bit pricier, but they do include free wine and popcorn. And did I mention the nachos with cheese?’

‘Well, now you’re speaking my language,’ Dawn giggles. ‘But then I never could sit through a movie without a bucket of nachos beside me!’

‘I’m actually going there after work on Monday. They’re showing that new Robert Downey Junior movie … big summer blockbuster …’

‘Oh, I LOVE him …’

‘Yeah, and it’s had some really great reviews too …’

Tommy breaks off here though and immediately stands up as he clocks me for the first time. God love him, he even looks a bit guilty, like I’m here to haul him over the coals for skiving off.

‘Sorry Chloe,’ he says a bit sheepishly. ‘Just coming back inside now.’

But Dawn is smiling, so I smile too. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen her do that since she got here, and you wouldn’t believe what a sight for sore eyes it is.

‘Stay where you are,’ I tell Tommy firmly, waving at him to sit back down again. ‘We’re fine inside. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a shout if I need you.’

We’re not actually, it’s crazy busy inside … but then the matchmaker inside me has suddenly shot into overdrive. I slip behind the bar and start clearing away empty glasses, when next thing Rob is right by my shoulder. Towering over me as usual, sleeves rolled up, grey eyes looking right at me.

‘You’re looking very pleased with yourself, Ms Townsend,’ he grins.

‘Tell you later,’ I tell him teasingly.

‘Something going on out there that I need to know about?’

I don’t get the chance to answer him though, because next thing Dave is standing at the bar in front of us, first time I’ve seen him all evening.

‘Dave! Lovely to see you,’ I tell him. ‘What can I get you?’

‘Nothing, thanks,’ he says flatly.

He hasn’t bothered changing for dinner either, I notice, like most other guests. Instead, he’s just wearing his usual hairy biker gear of jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of trainers and looking like he hasn’t shaved since he got here.

‘Emm … is Jo down yet?’ I ask tentatively.

‘That I can’t answer you,’ Dave says in that dry, laconic way he has. Then he just slumps forward on the bar, burying his head in his hands and cradling his head.

‘Dave? What’s up?’

He sighs, hauls his head up and looks right at me, glassy eyed and with the thick black hair standing up in tufts now. For a second, it’s actually like the poor guy is going to bolt out of here in a minute.

‘Emm … is everything okay?’ I say, leaning across the bar to him.

‘’Fraid not. In fact, everything is about as far from being okay as is possible,’ he sighs wearily.

‘Anything I can do to help?’

There’s a moment where he just looks at me, as though weighing up whether I can be trusted or not.

‘Can you keep a secret?’

I just nod.

‘Then maybe you and I could go somewhere to talk. If you can spare me five minutes, that is.’

I glance over at Rob, who seems to have overheard everything. He just mouths a silent ‘Go,’ at me, so I do. Discreetly, I lead Dave through the packed bar, across the entrance hall and into the empty office just behind Reception.

And for the first time since he got here, he
really
tells me everything.

*

Jo was sitting in a quiet little booth at the very back of the bar area, away from the melee where she wouldn’t be disturbed. Laptop propped up in front of her as she just stared uselessly at the blank screen.

‘Emm … okay if I join you?’

She looked up and was surprised to see Lucy standing there, actually looking quite dressed down tonight, at least, for her. Instead of wearing one of her usual bandage dresses with legs on full show, tonight she was in a simple floor length white maxi and flat sandals with her long, fair hair tied up in a ponytail, Grecian style. Overall effect? Utterly stunning.

She was carrying a champagne flute along with a glass of fizzy water and immediately thrust the champagne out towards Jo.

‘A little peace offering,’ she said sheepishly. ‘To say sorry for being such an arse last night. Not to mention barging in on top of you this morning and … well, I’m sorry for everything, really.’

‘Thanks, but the thing is, I’m not really supposed to with all the bloody drugs I’m on –’ said Jo, but Lucy was having none of it.

‘Ah, go on, just the one won’t do you any harm.’

‘Alright then, if you insist,’ Jo said, gratefully taking the offered glass and taking a tiny sip. The champagne was cool and delicious, just what she needed, in fact.

‘Am I disturbing you?’ Lucy asked, with a nod towards the laptop. ‘It’s just … well, you kind of look like you’re in the middle of something.’

‘Not at all,’ Jo said politely. ‘Sit down please, join me.’

She actually meant it too. Unburdening herself to Lucy this morning had, in a way, been a big relief and the girl had surprised her by being a sensitive listener. In spite of all her first impressions, Jo found herself slowly beginning to thaw towards Lucy. Something she’d barely have thought possible not twenty-four hours ago.

‘Thanks,’ Lucy smiled warmly and slid down into the booth beside her. ‘But please don’t tell me you’re still working? Seriously? On a Saturday night?’

Jo said nothing, just gave her a wry glance and showed her the blank computer screen.

‘Dave and I have to compile a list of each other’s best qualities. To quote Kate from conflict resolution, “everything that made you fall in love in the first place”.’

‘Oh, don’t remind me!’ Lucy laughed good-naturedly. ‘I had to do that earlier too. So how are you getting on?’

Jo took another sip of champagne and sat back against the leather booth.

‘I’m doing okay, in that I’m well able to list off all the things that I loved about him. My worry is, can he do as much for me? Thing is, he and I have been at each other’s throats for so long now, that it’s hard to remember back to a time when things were any different between us, really. You should have seen some of the email exchanges we’ve had; you’d die. They’re actually toxic. We’ve both been so vicious to each other …’

But Lucy was having absolutely none of it.

‘Are you kidding? Of course Dave won’t have a problem with this!’ she insisted. ‘Just go back into that meeting and remind him about, say for instance, your wedding day? How he felt when he looked into your eyes and a priest declared you man and wife.’

Jo took a second to think back. Her wedding day seemed like such an age ago now. And yet she could still remember Dave leaning over to kiss her as soon as she arrived beside him at the altar. Beaming with pride as he told her she was beautiful, which she wasn’t, by the way. Jo was no beauty and knew it, but it was amazing what a bit of professional make-up and a good up-style did for her. But the fact that he thought so just meant such a lot to her.

She remembered he made her snigger during the most inappropriate bits throughout the whole service, when the priest’s back was turned. And how he still had the price tag stuck to the soles of his shoes, so when he was kneeling down everyone could clearly see.

Jo was certain he’d have happy memories of their honeymoon too, but then that had been hard to forget. Besides, who didn’t have fond memories of their honeymoon? But then another memory resurfaced; their first big row, not long after they were first married. Dave had stormed out of the apartment in a huff, and then in the middle of the night, decided that what was called for was a Big Romantic Gesture. So he climbed up the fire escape clinging to a bunch of garage flowers, but then got stuck two floors below her room and had to yell to be rescued.

In spite of herself, Jo had found it hard not to laugh at the sight of a bedraggled Dave being rescued by the fire brigade and in no time the row was all but forgotten.

‘I took it as a good sign,’ he’d told her later on, ‘that you called the emergency services and didn’t just leave me dangling off a ledge on the second floor.’

The making-up part that night was pretty hard to forget too. Surely he’d remember that there was a time when she hadn’t been such a nightmare to be around all the time?

‘See?’ Lucy interrupted her thoughts. ‘You’re smiling. Must be a lot of good stuff whirling round your head.’

‘Yeah, there’s certainly some happy memories in there,’ Jo sighed.

‘Always are,’ said Lucy sagely.

‘You see, I’d been on my own for so long before Dave bounced into my life, that when we first got together … I’d actually forgotten what it was like to even be in a relationship. Does that make any sense?’

Lucy just nodded and smiled knowingly.

‘But for so long now, I’ve been such a complete bitch to the guy.’

‘It’s nothing more than those bloody IVF hormones, Jo. That’s all. Trust me, Dave understands.’

‘You really think so?’

‘Absolutely. And if you don’t mind my saying so, there’s something else you’re forgetting. Something even more obvious than that.’

‘There is?’

‘Come on. Do I have to spell it out to someone as smart as you?’

Jo just looked at her, genuinely baffled.

‘Can I also remind you that he wanted to have a child with you? And still does? And you must want it too, because after all, you’re still pumping all those drugs into you.’

‘I know, I know,’ Jo sighed, sitting back and staring ahead. ‘You see, I was fully prepared to be a single parent and to raise the child alone. I’d told Dave as much too and he said as long as he had visitation rights, then he was okay with it. We even made a deal. So after we broke up, I was facing into IVF all alone. But right now, I can’t help feeling that …’

‘You want to know something, Jo?’ Lucy interrupted softly.

‘What?’

‘It’s never too late to change your mind.’

*

Andrew still wasn’t even properly dressed for dinner yet. Ever since he’d come back up to his room after a gruelling day thrashing everything out with Lucy, he’d made the mistake of checking in on his emails and getting back to the pile of missed calls on his phone.

And immediately wished he hadn’t. Christ, today had been bad enough, but now this? On top of everything else he had to deal with, apart from all the other stresses and pressures in his personal life, now he had to deal with yet more trouble and strife at the Board. He’d spent the entire day with Lucy at his side barely even able to be civilized to each other and that had been bad enough. And now it seemed Armageddon had just broken out in work. Yet another pension fund had just crumbled and stocks were plummeting fast and furious.

To cap it all off though, he hadn’t been feeling particularly well all evening. He was sweaty and clammy, most unlike himself. And if he stood up too quickly, the dizziness was almost nauseating. Must have been the chicken he’d eaten at lunchtime, he figured. That was most likely causing the sick feeling he had and the walloping sensation in his chest. Slight bit of a tingling sensation in his arms too.

But it’s nothing to worry about, he thought dismissively. Sure, he was fit as a fiddle from all the golf he played and had the stamina of an ox.
This is nothing more than a perfectly natural reaction to pressure,
he told himself. A marriage breaking up has to be one of the most traumatizing things any man can possibly go through.

Of course it hadn’t felt the same when he and Greta had split up, but he’d had Lucy by his side to ease him through it all back then, didn’t he? Somehow nothing felt like a problem with her beside him. Once she was around, he was indomitable.

All very different now though.

A lie down, he thought, stretching out on the bed and laying his head on the cool pillows. Just for a moment. That would put him to rights. The dizziness would surely pass then. And this shooting pain up and down his arm.

Course it would. Probably.

*

‘Dinner is served,’ Chris smiled politely at both Jo and Lucy, still tucked away in their little booth, chatting away companionably.

‘Great,’ said Lucy, draining back the rest of the fizzy water in front of her. All she’d allow herself to drink tonight. Maybe even all she’d allow herself from now on. ‘Don’t know about you, but I could eat a horse.’

‘God knows where you put it,’ Jo smiled. ‘With the teeny little doll’s figure you have.’

‘Ha! What you can’t see is the giant pair of Spanx knickers I’m wearing underneath this to yank me in!’

By now, guests had started to drift from the bar towards the main dining room on the ground floor and Jo and Lucy walked companionably side by side, continuing on with the conversation they’d been having.

‘So, the same question back to you,’ said Jo.

‘How do you mean?’ said Lucy.

‘Andrew’s good qualities. Come on then, list them off for me.’

They were just filing through Reception and at the mention of Andrew’s name, Lucy automatically started to look around for him. Come to think of it, she hadn’t seen him since that bloody meeting with that boring family law expert earlier that afternoon.

‘He’s late,’ she said distractedly. ‘And it’s not like him to be late.’

‘Stop dodging the question,’ Jo insisted.

But as it happened, Lucy didn’t even need to think about the answer though.

‘His heart,’ she shrugged. ‘I think Andrew’s got the biggest heart of any man I’ve ever met before in my whole life.’

*

Andrew often thought he’d lost so much, that all he had left to give Lucy was his heart. And at that exact moment, it was just about to give out on him.

Chapter Thirty

Chloe.

Rob came to the hospital with us and thank God that he did. He’s been only amazing ever since. Constantly asking Lucy if she was okay, time and again reassuring her that there was nothing to worry about. Reiterating over and over that he was sure Andrew would be absolutely fine in no time.