Love Me Like A Rock (8 page)

Chapter Eight

When Austin finally looked up on Wednesday night from the watercolor he was creating from his mountainside sketches and memory, Vinnie was back from the library and draped along the length of their couch, feet hanging over the arm and pointing in Austin’s direction.

An open beer bottle dangled from Vinnie’s fingers, brown glass cold and shining with condensation, which meant Vinnie had finally turned in his politics paper. The man only ever unwound with a beer the night after turning in an important paper. By the next morning, he’d be focused on the future once more and wound tight with stress and effort.

“Thought you were never going to notice me,” Vinnie said, his voice soft and teasing, the
come fuck me
tone he used solely when he was about to tumble Austin onto the nearest bed, or floor.

Funny, I’ve felt exactly the same since freshman year at Choate.

But he kept those words tucked behind his teeth and let the snappishness subside before answering.

“You know how I get when I’ve got a new idea going.”

“I know how you get when you do anything at all.” Sly words meant to pull him closer, but for once, the reminder of their longstanding friendship and fuck-buddy habit fell flat.

No, you don’t. Sean does, though.

Which felt sort of like a betrayal of years of friendship, to put the guy he’d been banging for six weeks on a pedestal higher than the guy who’d been his friend since they were fourteen, but he couldn’t help it. Because even though he’d felt at first like he was cheating on Vinnie, sort of, by hooking up with Sean, now it felt like the other way around.

Listening to Vinnie flirt with him, now that Vinnie had finished everything else for the week that could possibly require his attention and had a couple hours free to turn to Austin, just assuming he’d be up for it…for the first time in ages, Austin didn’t get that tingle of excitement at finally pulling Vinnie’s focus.

Instead, he thought of Sean, and wished the geology department hadn’t chosen this week to take another freshman group out on one last field survey before the really cold weather started settling in. Frost painted the grass on the green in the mornings now, although it melted as soon as the sun hit it and the afternoons were still warm enough.

“Put that down and have a beer with me,” Vinnie said, pulling Austin’s attention off the image of Sean hiking in the woods, competent and happy.

I’m not the one who needs to be drunk to fuck.

The words almost came out of his mouth, and Austin gasped at his own recklessness. Which then sounded weird, like he was gasping at the idea of having a beer with his friend.

He ignored Vinnie as his phone buzzed with a text notification.

“You sure have your hand on your phone in a heartbeat lately,” Vinnie observed with far too much accuracy as Austin palmed his cell out of his back pocket.

It was true. He didn’t let his phone get far out of reach.

Sean’s Instagram addiction made it super easy to semi-stalk him without crossing the line into boyfriend-like questions about what he was doing on the days he wasn’t with Austin. Of course, Sean had taken to tagging Austin in his photos, as if Austin were in them, which of course he wasn’t usually. But being tagged popped up a notification on his phone every time Sean did it, a fact Austin suspected Sean was taking advantage of to let Austin know how often Sean was thinking of him. And his texts were even more boyfriend-y.

Wish you were here. Tent’s way less snuggly without you.

Smiling to himself, he ignored Vinnie questions about who was messaging him, patting Vinnie on the foot absently as he passed by on his way to his room.

Time to remove temptation from his immediate orbit. Because as much as he wasn’t nearly as interested in what Vinnie was offering as he used to be, old habits died hard sometimes and Austin was only too good at talking himself into trouble with Vinnie.

Instead, Austin locked himself in his room with his laptop. That weekend in the woods with Sean had rejuvenated his enthusiasm for the summer project he’d abandoned since getting back on campus. Emerging only for crew practice and meals, Austin did a good enough job of missing the latter that when Sean showed up three days later with a bag of sandwiches from the campus center, Austin could have gnawed Sean’s hand off in his sudden hunger for a turkey grinder.

“Austin.” The hand knocking on his door had rapped sharply, which meant Vinnie. “Your boyfriend is here.”

Definitely Vinnie. Snotty remarks were his stock in trade when he was frustrated, and even oblivious Austin could tell Vinnie was frustrated with the way Austin had distanced himself over the last couple of days.

“Send him in,” he’d answered, and heard the door to his room open and shut.

“What have you been up to?” Sean asked while leaning over him from behind, sliding his hands down Austin’s chest and into his pants while mouthing at the side of his neck. “I haven’t seen you for the three days since I’ve been back.”

“Really?” Austin jerked his head up so quickly they knocked skulls. “Ow. Wow. I didn’t realize…”

“That’s cool. I figured you were caught up, but I couldn’t wait any longer. Figured if I showed up with food, maybe you’d let me in the door.”

And Sean was joking, but it also kind of sounded like maybe he hadn’t been entirely sure of the reception.

Hence the food.

Austin’s stomach growled at the reminder, the smell of warm turkey grinders having been driven out of his head by the scrape of Sean’s beard on his neck, a sensation Austin very much wanted duplicated all over his body.

Right after sandwiches.

But first…

He turned his head, snaked a hand behind Sean’s neck and pulled his face down to Austin’s level. Sean’s mouth tasted like chocolate and coffee and Austin licked into it, until he remembered how long it had been since he’d last brushed his teeth. He muffled his shriek by clamping his lips together as he turned his face away from the kiss.

“Where you going?” Sean murmured as Austin squirmed to escape from between Sean’s arms, which were braced on either side of him, palms on Austin’s desk.

“God, I’m gross. I’ve been on lockdown with this project and it’s possible I haven’t showered in—” He managed to stand up and paused to smell his own armpit. “—yeah, a couple of days. Hold that thought. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

“Austin. I camp. I spend weeks outdoors with a bunch of scientists with questionable grooming standards.” Sean tugged Austin back by his hips, pulling Austin toward his lap, and the feeling of those strong hands on his hips was almost enough to make Austin forget why it was so essential he get out of his room.

“Yeah, but even your grungy scientists probably brush their teeth,” Austin protested.

Sean let him go with a sigh and a smack on the ass. “Fine, brat. I’ll wait.”

The “brat” didn’t even sting anymore, because Austin knew Sean didn’t mean it. Also, because he kind of was and it didn’t feel bad to admit to it around Sean. He bounced toward the door, changed his mind and turned back to stamp a kiss on Sean’s forehead before galloping out the door.

“You better hustle or I can’t promise this grinder is still going to be here when you get back,” Sean called out behind him.

Vinnie gave Austin a sharp look as he ran out of the suite, but Austin ignored him. “No comment” was his go-to modus operandi with Vinnie these days and he was pretty sure his friend was starting to notice. But the last thing Austin wanted was to be grilled like an interrogation subject about Sean and his intentions and Austin’s feelings about those intentions.

At least, not when Austin was only starting to figure that stuff out himself. Vinnie had a way of riding roughshod, unintentionally of course, over Austin’s opinions until Austin ended up agreeing with Vinnie, if only because Vinnie felt so strongly about things that Austin only sort of cared about.

* * * * *

“So this is really different, right? From what you normally do.”

Austin’s heart picked up the pace, thumping in his chest. The sudden acceleration left him feeling light-headed. Really different. If there’d ever been a bigger understatement uttered on Carlisle’s campus…

“Yes,” he said faintly. Cleared his throat and tried again. “It’s different, yes. But I think—”
I hope.
“—it’s going to be well-received.”

“Well, I think they’re fucking fabulous. But I’m no art critic, of course.”

And there was the rub. Although Austin told himself it mattered to him more that regular people who saw his pieces were sucked in by them. But he couldn’t deny his own need to please his professors and fellow art majors, and that way lay madness when he was working on something so far out of his comfort zone.

Because he knew how far down that spiral of self-doubt and self-obsession his squirrely thoughts could take him, Austin waited until Sean had finished his sandwich and then pushed the man down on his bed and clawed his jeans open just enough to get at his dick. He clapped his hand over Sean’s mouth when his groans started up, ever conscious of Vinnie and who knew else listening in the common room.

Mostly Vinnie.

And yes, it was hella hypocritical to care about his roommates hearing them fucking when he hadn’t let Sean or himself keep things quiet when they were camping.

Austin didn’t give a damn. His friends were nosier than Sean’s laid-back rock-geek crew. And no one but Austin and Sean needed to know when he lubed up a finger and slid it up Sean’s ass just in time to make him shoot right down Austin’s throat.

Turkey grinders and sex morphed into their M.O. for the few weeks while Austin worked like a demon to get his pieces ready for the upcoming show, spending almost as much time at the print shop where he was getting the four-foot-high posters done up as he did in front of his computer. He blew off Halloween while he learned more than he ever wanted to about RGB versus CMYK printer set-ups, then almost fucked himself royally in the last few weeks by forgetting that since he wasn’t hanging paintings or displaying sculptures, he needed to get his ass in gear on the framing end.

Thank God his parents didn’t question his credit card charges, because he was racking them up hot and heavy. He’d tried pressing cash on Sean for his regular deliveries of warm sandwiches and blowjobs, but the stupid, stubborn man wouldn’t take a penny. Austin planned to take him away for a weekend at some totally sybaritic hotel or bed and breakfast and fuck the expense.

Just as soon as the chaos of planning this show, on top of his regular overload of crew and the rest of his classes, eased up.

In the meantime, stress upon stress settled in Austin’s shoulders and back, until Sean made him promise to do something to unwind.

Something more than sex, that is. Because the way they still wanted to fuck each other all the time, even after almost two months, was starting to mesmerize Austin.

When Sean rolled out of bed late one afternoon, heading for a shower before another modeling session for the figure drawing crew, Austin realized what he’d been missing.

“I’m coming with you,” he announced as soon as Sean walked back into the room, then stopped short. “Whoa. Hey there, handsome. Check out that face.”

Sean had shaved. And Sean with his cheeks and chin and mouth all naked and smooth was…delicious.

“I get a bug up my ass about it every once in a while,” Sean said, rubbing his face absently.

“I love it. Come here.” He pulled Sean in close to see what kissing him felt like now.

Different. New. But not better. All
kissing Sean
experiences were equally awesome. After a couple of delicious minutes though, Austin pulled back and smacked Sean on the butt, hustling him to get ready.

“Come on. I need to get my naked drawing on. I’m coming too,” he said again, which didn’t get him the kind of enthusiastic response he was expecting, but whatever. He knew Sean’s grading load was getting heavy as the latter half of the semester began.

It wasn’t until the walk across campus that he noticed how truly weird Sean was acting.

“Don’t.” Sean didn’t look at Austin as they approached the art building.

“What?”

“You know what.”

“I really don’t.”

Sean shut up, walking with big strides. Then, “I can tell you’re already picturing me naked.”

“I am n—” Austin paused. “Okay. I totally am.”

“I know. I can practically feel it.” Sean sounded like he had his teeth clenched together. “I think we need a code word.”

“For what?”

“For me to tell you to get the fuck out of the studio if I can’t deal.”

“What? Really?” Austin stopped short, staring at Sean. He’d thought they were only kidding around.

“Fuck, yes, really. I’m not gonna sit there with a hard-on for you with a dozen people staring at me and wondering why my dick won’t go down.”

“Two dozen people, probably,” Austin said absently, because the sessions were pretty full usually.

“Thanks.”

Sean thumped himself in the dick and Austin winced, making a grab for Sean’s hand.

“Hey, don’t hurt yourself. Jesus. If it’s really going to be a problem, I can skip it.”

“Really?” The hopeful look on Sean’s face brought out Austin’s smile, a sweeter one than he normally had in his bag of tricks.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m gonna make you model for me later. I have to keep my hand in, obviously.” He let the last words come out with a leer and Sean laughed, some of the tension falling from his shoulders.

“Shit, yeah. You can draw me anytime you want. Thank you. I was kind of freaking out about this.”

“I noticed,” Austin said dryly, with a pointed stare at Sean’s crotch.

“I’m just barely enough of an exhibitionist to not mind stripping off for cash. But I’m not into making it a sex thing, especially with Professor Knapp in the room, and a bunch of people who do not want to think of me that way.”

Austin waited in the lobby on a sagging couch that was decades old and had probably seen more sex than most family cars’ backseats. His laptop screen wasn’t really any good for working on his current project—not big enough for him to see everything at once, which made making good decisions about how to manipulate the images impossible. But he opened a file and messed around for a bit anyway, saving the angry swirl of images in a new file in case he decided later all his fiddling had only made the piece worse. It wasn’t what he wanted to be doing anyway.