Love Me Forever (8 page)

“That’s good.” His voice sounded strained
.

She took him deep into her hot, wet mouth, her moans vibrating deep inside him and spreading outward. As hard as he tried not to, he needed to pump deeper. Her tongue toyed with him before she drew back, her hand following.

With the flat of her tongue, she lapped at the tip. He cupped the back of her head, more for balance than control. He was lovin’ what she was doing and wasn’t about to make her change direction.

Stroking, licking, sucking, and then her breath alone teasing his wet flesh. He groaned, and reached for her shoulder. “Come here, hon.”

She rose, licking a path as she stood. Grabbing the hem of her dress, she pulled it over her head and dropped it beside them. She reached behind and popped open her strapless bra, adding it to the pile of their clothes. As she pushed her thumbs in the waist of her panties, he stopped her.

“Let me.”

Kneeling, he slowly drew the silky fabric down, kissing her heated bare skin as he went. When he brushed his nose along the inside of her knee, she flinched. “Sensitive spot, I take it? I’ll have to remember that.”

Matt tugged her hand. “Shall we get comfy?”

Glancing around her, she said, “I don’t call lying in the grass comfy. But I’ll take your word for it.”

“Unless I’ve lost my touch completely, you won’t notice the grass.” He drew a finger down her side as she lay down, and he shifted to lie beside her. “Are you warm enough?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, you’re about to get even warmer.”

He took control this time, nuzzling her breasts and inhaling the warm scent that was pure Jen. His thumb and finger pinched one nipple while he sucked and nipped at the other.

Arching, she lifted her breasts to his touch. How was it simple, reflexive moves like that could drive him so crazy? He would never have his fill of her body. His hand left her breast, traced over her ribs. Stroked the softness of her belly. Teased along her hip, avoiding the spot she wanted him to touch.

She rocked into his hand with a whimper.

“I’ll get there, hon.”

“Whatever happened to a fast fuck? Someone could come along at any time.”

“You want it fast? You got it.” He slid one finger along her labia before pressing deeper into her wetness. As she gasped, her legs opened to him. He pressed inside, stroking slowly at first, flicking his thumb across her nub
.

Her moans increased, although he could tell she was trying to keep quiet. Shifting to kneel between her legs, he entered her. Fuck, she fit so tightly around him. He bit back a groan.

He pushed in deep, slid out slowly, then back inside again when her hips rocked forward. Their pace quickened as he felt the tightness of release building.

Jen grabbed the backs of her knees, lifting her hips, and he planted his hands beside her head to brace himself above her. Her breaths were hot in his ear, urging him forward, as were the wet sounds of their fucking. Her quiet whimpers increased in pitch. Suddenly her muscles spasmed around him. Her juices increased and he let go, biting back a moan.

He froze, clenching his jaw to keep quiet. She was twitching slightly around him as she came down from her own peak. Matt wanted nothing more than to lie down on top of her and remain there until the night air grew too cool, but he knew he couldn’t do that.

Rolling to one side, he stretched next to her in the grass and let his hand caress her damp skin.

“We should have done it sooner,” she said, her eyes closed.

“I thought we did. We’ve made love almost every day you’ve been here.”

“No, I meant the first time. When you were here before. I wish we’d made love that first night and every night that summer.”

“Would it have been the same?”

Her eyes opened and she met his gaze, the light around them barely enough to see her face. “Why wouldn’t it?”

“It would have been great sex, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think we could have bad sex together.” He pressed his palm against her jaw. “But we didn’t know each other. It would have been just sex.”

Rolling to face him, she wrapped a leg around his hip. “And that would have been a bad thing? Just sex?”

He squeezed her butt cheek. “There are times for sex, and there are times for making love. I prefer making love with you.”

Her hips rocked against him. “With you, I’ll take whatever I can get.”

Slapping her ass, he rolled to his knees. “Then we’d better get inside or someone will find us. I don’t think I can stay quiet this next time. Last one in the shower has to do dishes tomorrow.”

~*~

Jen sat on the pillow, the hotel’s headboard digging into her back. Matt’d gone to work an hour earlier and she needed to find something to fill her day.

Why was that so hard to do? When she’d planned this trip, seemingly a lifetime ago, she’d filled her days with excursions. Her list was somewhere around the room, but she didn’t get up to look for it.

Instead she stared blankly at the empty television screen
.

Matt hadn’t said anything specific, but she could tell he wanted her to stay in Hawaii. Little turns of phrase sounded like long
-
range plans, not passing comments. And she wanted to stay.

If they’d gotten together after college, would she have chosen a career that fulfilled her? They could have married and had a house full of kids.

There was no point in trying to imagine it. They were different people now, with so many more life experiences behind them. Who they used to be had no reflection on their chances for a successful relationship now.

Is that what she wanted? A full relationship with Matt? They could try long distance. She could fly out on vacation a couple times a year. He could do the same. Perhaps even a few weekends here and there if she found some discount flights.

It was better than nothing. They would have a chance to find out if what they felt was real, or just the memory of first love lost.

She sighed and drew up her knees, resting her arms across them. If they did have something real between them, at some point they would need to pick a place to live together.

Matt had his business there on Maui. He couldn’t just walk away from that and find a new job in Podunk
,
Missouri.

So she would be the one expected to move. She’d have to leave the job she hadn’t even begun yet, sell her house in a weak market, give up everything she’d finally obtained on her own.

Again. She would give up her life for a man again.

But Matt wasn’t like Ted. He wasn’t controlling. He’d never ask her to completely turn her life over to him.

She could try to find a job at a nursing home on the island. There had to be a few, or a senior center where she could coordinate activities. Old people could be found wherever she went, it wasn’t as if the Midwest held the only supply of seniors.

She shifted again, crossing her ankles to sit tailor-style. For that matter, she hadn’t started her job yet. There wouldn’t be any real repercussions from bowing out now, before she started. She could rent out her home until the market improved. Real estate was a sound investment in the long run, wasn’t it?

But where would she be if they didn’t work out?

She’d be in the same spot as when she divorced. She’d have to find a job all over again.

This was so stupid! She had a job. She had the dream job she always wanted, one with potential to advance. One with retirement and benefits and paid vacation and…and…

And no Matt
.

Tears welled before spilling free. Her breaths came in gasps but she was damned if she would cry. Why did it always come to this? The choice between a man and her dreams? God, she would have been better off living in a time when a man was the only dream she needed.

She couldn’t do this. Not again. She knew herself well enough to know if there were any chance of a life with Matt, she would walk away from anything and everything to make it work.

She wasn’t ready to do that. And she wasn’t strong enough to put her foot down. Hell, she’d only come to realize a short time ago that she had choices again. She couldn’t give it up.

Curling on her side, burying her face in her pillow, she let the tears come. The ache. The gut-tearing pain that came with walking away.

When she could see again and speak without her voice catching, she picked up her phone and called the airline to change her flight.

Chapter Six

Matt tumbled in the crashing wave, letting the ocean have the control it demanded. Holding his breath, he stayed relaxed and drifted until the wave settled, then kicked his way to the surface. He sucked in air, glanced back to see the progress of the next wave and paddled to catch it as the water swelled around him.

This wave he rode in to shore, letting his body be his surfboard. When he got close to the beach he stood and shook the water from his hair. His muscles were drained. He’d stayed out there bodysurfing probably longer than he should have, but the ocean was the best release he’d found since Jen left.

A month had passed since the man at the front desk stopped him on his way to pick her up for dinner after work. The clerk had handed him a note, which he read as he rode the elevator to Jen’s floor.

She was gone. The note wasn’t so much a Dear John letter as it was an update to a casual friend. Plans had changed; she was flying home sooner than expected. She thanked him for showing her around the island.

And that was all. No “Let’s do it again soon”, no “I’ll call when I get home”. What the fuck was up with that?

He knew she’d had feelings for him, probably the same thing he felt for her. He was pretty damned certain it was love. Not the promising crush of their youth that hinted at what might lie ahead. An easy, grown-up emotion that infiltrated his entire being with a need for having Jen close.

Her laughter. Her sighs when they watched late night TV while curled up together in the afterglow of the totally insane
,
fucking-hot sex they shared. The gasp that escaped her when she saw something beautiful in nature.

They’d shared more than their bodies. So why’d she packed up and taken the first flight back to Missouri?

As he dried himself in the parking lot next to his car, he knew he would call her again when he got back to the house. She had yet to answer. He was having an affair with her voice mail. Not once did he question her actions. There was nothing accusatory in his tone, no weak begging either.

“Hey, honey, I just got back from body surfing. The water is a bit cool still, and the air hasn’t warmed up enough to make the first brisk shock feel refreshing.” He wandered through his living room as he spoke. Pausing at the window, he gazed at the mountains in the distance behind the house.

“You should see the sky today. So blue, with a few puffy clouds over the mountains. It’s a perfect day for hiking. I might take that trail, the one we didn’t take, later this afternoon. Watch the sunset from the crest.” Matt drew in a deep breath and turned back to his empty room.

“I hope the weather is warming for you. Have you been able to break ground on the garden you planned? I’d love to see pictures when the flowers start blooming. I won’t keep you any longer. Talk to you tomorrow.”

He disconnected the call.
Talk to
was apt. He certainly wasn’t talking
with
her.

Frustration gnawed at him once again. His battle with the waves had held it at bay only a short while. If he could talk to Jen, he could find out what went wrong, why she ran scared.

If it was too soon after her divorce, he could work with that. He could be a patient man, within reason. They had all the time in the world, the rest of their lives, to find out where their relationship was going, what lifestyle best suited their needs. But that would only happen if she talked to him.

~*~

Jen pushed open the door to Mrs. Miller’s apartment after unlocking it for her. “Here you go. Now, let’s find your keys so you don’t get locked out again.”

She followed the tiny woman into the main room of the small suite. Mrs. Miller was at that sad stage of life where her forgetfulness was increasing. Her children had hired a nurse to come by daily with her medications, to be sure they were taken correctly. Her close friend, Mrs. DeBerry, stopped by on her way to the common dining room for meals, to be sure Mrs. Miller would remember.

Soon, though, the family would need to hire a fulltime aide, or think about a more structured facility. The saddest part of Jen’s job, in the six weeks she’d worked at the retirement community, was seeing the residents fade to the point of needing to move to a nursing home.

Mrs. Miller found her purse on the counter in her kitchenette and took out her keys. “Here they are.”

“Oh, good. Now, slip that little stretchy band on your wrist so you have them with you the next time you step out.” Jen said goodbye and slipped out into the hallway, nodding to a passing couple.

Seeing them walk arm-in-arm made her sigh. She’d heard they’d been married for more than fifty years. Even as their bodies wore down and their steps became shuffles, they moved in practiced synchronization.