Love Lost (13 page)

“Selene, Daphne’s death is not on you. Lucio’s the one to blame for that.”

Selene bit the corner of her lip, knowing in her gut that she always suspected Lucio was behind the shooting the moment Jason and Vin had mentioned it was meant for her.

“There’s something else, Jason.”

Jason ran his hands through his hair, letting out a long sigh.  Selene wanted to just crawl into his arms and beg for forgiveness for not opening up to him sooner but there was no turning back now. “What is it?”

Selene stared at Jason and wasn’t sure how to tell him
, so she just blurted it out.

“I was pregnant once by Lucio.”

The look on his face was a look that Selene wished she could take away. 

“Is that it or is there more?”

“Remember when I told you that I had gone to Lucio’s house to tell him some news but I caught him cheating instead.  The news was that I had found out I was pregnant.  When he stabbed me as my punishment, I lost the baby and almost died myself.”

Jason was silent and it was killing her.  She would be able to understand the anger but silence was something she couldn’t argue with.  She tried to reach for him.

“Jason, please say something.”

He pulled back and stood from his seat.  He paced the living room.

“I’m not sure what to say to you, Selene. Why didn’t you come to me sooner with this?  Did I do something that made you think you couldn’t trust me?”

“No, Jason.  I shouldn’t have kept this to myself.  I know I should have come to you sooner with this but I just didn’t know how.”

“You kept this information from me when you should have told me.  This relationship is built on trust, Selene, which you obviously don’t have with me.”

“Jason, I couldn’t tell you about Lucio.  I was afraid of losing you.  He has taken everything from me and I couldn’t risk him hurting you, too.” 

“Hurting me, Selene? Do you know why my brothers were here?”

Selene shook her head as a visibly frustrated Jason paced the living room floor.

“Vin is missing.”

“What?  Since when?”

“He hasn’t been home since he left my parent’s house.  My best friend is missing.  My family is at risk, and you are afraid I am going to get hurt?  This conversation is the thing that is hurting me, Selene.  If Lucio wants to hurt me, all he has to do is attack me through the people I love.  He’s doing a bang up job, too.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Jason.  If I knew this was going to happen, I would have told you sooner.  I thought I was protecting you by not involving you.  I care about you.”

“If you care, you have a funny way of showing it.”

“You don’t think I care about you?”

She walked into the bedroom and brought out a black and silver jewelry box with a red rose on it.

“Sel, I didn’t-“

“This box holds everything that I hold dear in it.”  Selene pulled out a silver necklace.  “This was my mother’s necklace.  She wore it all the time until the day she died.” She pulled out a pink and purple ribbon clip.  “This was my sister’s hair clip.  These are the only things I have left of my family.”  As she described the meaning behind the trinkets, she placed them on the table.  Jason touched her mother’s necklace.  It had a cross on it with a single rose in the middle. 

“Selene, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to say you didn’t care.”

She continued without looking up at him. “Here is a card from the coffee shop where I first met you.  And here, this is the flower that you gave me on our first date.  This is the movie stub I saved from our date. And this, this is the hospital bracelet from when you were shot.”  The tears ran down her face at the memory.  “I saved this as a constant reminder of how easily I could have lost you and how much I care about you.” She knelt in front of him and held his face.  “These are the most important memories of my life, Jason, and they include you.  You’ve made me forget about everything I’ve ever gone through in my life.  You make me feel loved and worth something.”

Jason’s eyes watered at Selene’s words. As the tears rolled down his cheek, he wiped them away. He stood up and grabbed his hoodie from the couch.  “I can’t do this right now. I gotta go. I have to get the fuck out of here.”

“Jason, please don’t leave.”

“Selene, if I knew even half of what you just told me, Vin would still be here.  He could be dead, Selene.  Do you realize that?”

Selene watched as he left the apartment and her heart broke.  She walked into the bedroom and grabbed Jason’s shirt that was left behind.  She crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.

Lucio was a disheveled mess as he sat on his couch.  The news of Selene being married was tearing him apart.  Normally
, Eddie was his voice of reason, but he was alone in this.  He looked at the body on his couch then poured some wine in two glasses and drank from his.

“How could she marry him? She is meant to be my wife, not his. Don’t you think I would make a much better husband then that weak cop?”

The body remained slumped on the couch.

“Here
, let me help you straighten up.”  He picked her up and laid her back so her hair was away from her face.  The bruises that covered her face were plenty and the large open wound on her neck was turning black.  Her skin was a weird yellowish color and cold to the touch.

His phone rang and he answered reluctantly.  “Yeah?”

He stood straight up and the voice continued to talk.

“Send me the address.”   His wicked smile was plastered on his face as he ended the call.  He walked over to his closet and removed a long dress from it.

“I saved this because I loved how Selene looked in it and I hoped she would wear it again for me.  I’m sure I will find better things for her to wear when we are back home.”  He grabbed a pair of pliers and walked toward the woman on the couch. 

“This will only hurt a little.”

The woman’s dead eyes reflected Lucio’s image back as he leaned over her and opened her mouth.

“Open wide for me, Mimi.”

Selene was asleep in Jason’s bed when he finally came home.  He’d spent the last hour walking off his frustration, trying to process everything Selene had told him. He walked in to find her asleep with his shirt wrapped around her like a blanket, her eyes red from crying. Jason took off his hoodie and threw it on the lounge chair in his room, his keys falling to the floor which caused her to wake up.  Selene looked up at him and sat up on his bed, bringing her knees to her chest as a protective shield.

Jason finally broke his silence. “Where do we go from here?”  She hugged her knees tightly and rested her chin on them.

“I want to be with you, Jason, and there is nowhere else I would rather be.  I should have told you everything sooner, but I didn’t.  I didn’t mean for you or anyone to be pulled into this.”

“I know you didn’t mean to involve anyone, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m involved now.  Hell, I was supposed to go undercover and work for this animal.”

“I understand.”  She avoided his eyes when she spoke and he lifted her chin to look at him.

“No you don’t, Selene.  I’m involved in this with you, not without you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to lose you, Sel.  It bothers me that you kept this from me, but you did it to protect your case.  I’m never going to judge you for whatever you had to do to survive, Sel.  I was lucky enough to have a loving and supportive family that raised me, but you didn’t.”  He held her face with both hands.  “You’re a strong woman and you have been for a long time, but you’re not alone in this anymore,
Babe.”  Jason wiped her tears with his thumbs.  “Selene, your past is your past.  I’m your present and I want to be your future.  I love you, Selene, and I’m not letting you go unless you want me to.  Even then, I will fight for you until my last breath.”

“I love you
, too, Jason.”

He smiled.  “Say it again.”

Selene laughed and repeated.  “I love you, Jason.”

He leaned in and kissed her tenderly.  “One more time.”

She pushed him on the bed and straddled him as she kissed his neck.  “I love the way you smell.”  She grabbed his shirt and lifted it off of him with his help. She traced his tattoos on his shoulder, placing small kisses on each one.  “I really love your tattoos.”  Jason laughed and she touched his face.  “But I love you the most.”   He pulled her closer to him.  “I do have one condition, though.”

“What’s that?”

“Your dancing will be reserved for me and only me.”

She wiggled her eyebrows.  “Really now?  I’m not sure you could afford me.”

She jumped off the bed and turned on the radio. She put on a song, and slowly started swaying her hips, her back to Jason the whole time.

“What are you doing?”

“What you wanted, Jason.  I’m dancing for you and only you.” Selene turned to face him.  Jason sat on the edge of the bed, surprised she was doing what he had asked.   

Selene grabbed the edge of the shirt she was wearing and took it off.  She tossed it aside.  She stepped toward him, never breaking eye contact.  She continued dancing and stripping her clothes until she was in her bra and thong. 

Selene pushed his legs open with her foot, slowly rubbing his thigh.  She turned around and shook her hips on his lap, grinding against him until he moaned her name against her ear. 

Selene turned and straddled him once again, riding him seductively.  She stared deep into his eyes.  “I’m yours, Jason.  Only yours.”  He kissed her passionately as his hands roamed her body, gripping her behind and pushing her harder against him.  He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him to keep from falling. 

“Care to join me in the shower?”  She smiled against his lips and nodded her answer.  He walked over to the bathroom, carrying her and kissing her at the same time.

She started the shower once he set her down. He started to undress and she leaned against the shower door, watching him unbutton his jeans.  He was gorgeous
with an upper body that was cut like a Greek God and a V cut on his hips that made you want to inspect further south of it.  He smiled at her.

“I guess it’s my turn to give you a show, huh?”

Selene laughed as he unzipped his pants and dropped them on the floor.  He was a beautiful sight to see.  Jason stalked toward her and reached behind her to unfasten her bra.  He pulled it from her arms slowly, letting the material graze her skin.  Goosebumps appeared and he lowered himself in front of her.  Tossing the bra aside, he kissed her thighs and grabbed her thong at her hip bone with his teeth.  He pulled it down, and she shuddered at his playful teasing.  He stood up to grab her waist and pulled her into the shower.  The water hit them, tickling their skin.  Steam rose in the shower as they continued kissing, fogging the glass doors quicker than usual.  He grabbed the portable shower head.  He pinned her up against the wall, guiding the shower head over her breasts and down her belly, kissing every spot the shower head touched.  He lowered the shower head and Selene let out a moan that was music to Jason’s ears.  He kissed her as he felt her shudder underneath him, and pushed himself inside her as he pulled the shower head away.  His thrusts quickened and she moved her hips to his rhythm.  Her moans pulled him over the edge as she tightened around him.   Jason kissed her and placed his forehead against hers.  He pulled her underneath the spray, still holding her in his arms as they showered.

Selene woke up to Jason missing from the bed.  She looked over at the night stand and a single rose lay on a note.  She reached for both and read it.

She smiled at the note and smelled the sweet scent of the flower in her hand.  She walked toward the kitchen to find breakfast on the table.  She looked around and Jason was nowhere to be seen. 
What was he up to?
  She reached over and grabbed yet another note and rose. 

Selene smiled at his note and hurried through her breakfast.   A few bites into her food, she felt the nausea hit her hard.  She ran into the bathroom in time to throw up.  As she washed her face and stared at herself in the mirror, her pale reflection stared back her.  Selene reached for her phone and called her doctor to schedule an appointment.  She was probably coming down with a cold or the flu.  There was no other explanation, since pregnancy was not possible.  There was too much scar tissue in her uterus from the stabbing that having a child was not going to happen for her.  Jason never talked about children and she wondered if he wanted them.  She closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling.  She wanted to enjoy the day with him and not think about anything else.  She just wanted to make him happy.

As Jason parked his bike in front of his building, he couldn’t wait to see Selene’s expression when she came out. He watched her exit his building in tight black pants and a matching jacket.  Her hair was up in a ponytail full of curls.  She looked very tempting and he fought the urge to cancel everything and spend the day in bed with her.  He shook it off as he climbed off and approached her. She took one look at his bike and laughed nervously. 

“I’m not sure about this.” 

He kissed her cheek.  “You’ll be fine.”  He sat back on his bike, straddling the sleek ride and he noticed Selene biting her lip. 

Jason stretched out his hand and said, “Come on.  Don’t you trust me?” 

She took his hand and climbed on the bike behind him.  He handed her a helmet and they took off.  Each turn he made, she held him tighter.  It almost made him want to go around the block for hours, but he was on a mission.  He finally reached their destination. 

She looked around and said, “What’s this?” 

“Just a thank you.”  Jason grabbed her hand and led her to the edge of the mountain where a picnic had already been setup. 

“Thank you? For what?”

They sat down on the blanket and Jason handed her a plate with food. 

“For being honest with me last night.  I didn’t like hearing about you with anyone else but that was before me.  I want you to be honest with me and if I get mad every time you are honest, then I’m afraid you won’t be.”

Selene lowered her head, deep in thought. Jason touched her hand. 

“Sel, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure what I did to deserve you.”

“Pay attention, grasshopper, and I will show you.”  They laughed and finished eating their lunch. Jason packed up the remaining food as Selene admired the view from the mountaintop. He sat next to her and they enjoyed the scenery together.  They watched the sunset as Selene laid her head on Jason’s shoulder.  His arm went instinctively around her and hoped that this day would never have to end.  As they walked back to the bike, she leaned against it and turned to face him.  “I had a really great time.  This is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.  I thought I was the one that needed to make it up to you.”