Love Lost and Found (11 page)

Signaling that she was fine with what was left of her tank, Felicity started her assent,
slightly lopsided with only one flipper. Rick bubbled up with her, matching his pace
to hers, the two of them stopping at intervals to make sure their ears adjusted and
they weren’t in danger of getting decompression sickness. Despite her dislike of the
whole concept, Felicity relented to take the occasional pull on Rick’s air as hers
dwindled dangerously low.

When they burst through the final membrane of water into the world, Rick didn’t look
behind him to check on her, instead swimming strongly over to the dive boat and hauling
himself out of the water. She’d only just lowered her tank to the floor and peeled
off her mask when he turned on her. “What the hell were you thinking, going off like
that? I was looking for you for ages and then you go and get yourself stuck with hardly
any air left. Have you got a death wish? Is that it? That’s why you’re running?”

Reeling, Felicity sat down. “No.”

“You sure? Because it kinda looks that way to me.”

His tense jaw and his hands pushing through the dark slick of hair only emphasized
the temper of his emotions. She stared at him. Anger? He really didn’t like things
being out of his control, including her.

“Well, thank God you’re safe, Felicity. Wouldn’t have wanted you getting eaten by
a giant killer eel when I dragged you into the middle of nowhere, Felicity,” she said.

“Good one. You’re going to be snarky with me? The guy who saved you?”

“I was fine. I would have gotten free sooner if that eel hadn’t distracted me.”

“Hardly. You were practically running on empty. If someone hadn’t come along you
would
have run out of air, then if you
had
managed to get free you’d have screamed up to the surface too fast and probably died
from the bends.”

“Bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Felicity tried for a blithe tone, hoping to hide
the shock at the heat in his words. He was close, invading-her-personal-space close,
and yet she didn’t move away. How long had it been since someone had gotten her back
like that? It was a little overbearing, but it was also kinda…nice. And hot.

“Dramatic? I’m not the one calling a tadpole a giant killer eel.”

“It was enormous.” Felicity stood again. “And back to my original point, it was
your
idea to come out here instead of catching up with the cruise ship in an orderly,
normal fashion.”

This time it was Rick who sat. “I thought you’d like it. That’s all. Sorry. We can
go down to Port Vila this afternoon. I’ll charter a plane or something.”

Damn.
He didn’t exactly look crestfallen, but she hadn’t expected Rick to give in so easily.
She sat next to him, far enough away to not have to touch him.

“We never used to fight like this,” he said quietly.

Double damn.
He
had
saved her from death by drowning and eel devouring and all she was doing was channeling
her über-bitch. She stole a look at him under her lashes and found him looking directly
at her. “It’s up to you. If you want to go back to Port Vila this afternoon, it’s
your call.” He smiled. It wasn’t the smile of a shark, but one of a man who had lost
his fiancée and then found someone else in her body. Now he was doing his best to…to
what, exactly?
To make the best of a bad situation?

To hell with it. Just
ask
him! “What exactly were you hoping for, coming to find me like this?”

His face stiffened a second. Had she hit a nerve or just his ego? “What do you mean?
I was hoping to find you. To bring you home, to rebuild our life together.”

“But I’m a different person.”

That got him. He paused, tilted his head to the side. “Yes.”

“That’s it? Yes?”

“You’re quicker to comment, to call me out, sure. The Felicity I knew wouldn’t have
taken me head-on like you do, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“Careful, that’s high praise.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…” He sighed again. “I asked you to marry
me. And you said yes. For me nothing has changed that. I figure we can work it out.
Together.”

He looked up. “But you don’t have to decide any of that yet. You can just think about
whether you want to go diving again or go straight back to the cruise ship. And you
can make that decision after lunch.” While they’d been arguing the boat had powered
back to shore and Rick leaped onto the jetty, walking away and leaving Felicity to
follow him or be left behind.

So maybe it was her turn to make the best of a bad situation.

Their suite wasn’t as lush as the first, but it was still a good size bigger than
her old apartment in San Francisco, and once again its views were to die for. “Beautiful,”
she sighed.

“You are, you know. That hasn’t changed.” His voice was soft, warm, matching the hot
chocolate in his eyes.

Felicity turned to Rick.

“I didn’t know what I was going to find when I came looking for Felicity Williams.
But I didn’t expect it to be you. You’re different in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Even the way you walk. It’s nice, freer.” He was sincere, his eyes narrowed against
the sun, but his focus entirely on her. God, the man was practically a giant mug of
hot chocolate looking to be lapped up.

She shrugged, going for nonchalance. “I wouldn’t know.”

“I’m telling you. And like I said, it’s not all bad.”

“Gee, and you think I’m the one who’s mean with my compliments.”

“You know I didn’t mean…shit.” He put a fingernail to his mouth and then fisted his
hand. “These past few months I’ve almost gnawed my hand off.”

“It’s your nervous twitch, huh? Perhaps you should take up meditation. Find your inner
calm.”

“I’ve tried. Keep your mind as bright and clear as the vast sky, the great ocean,
and the highest peak. Empty yourself of all thoughts. Yada, yada. Always worked better
for you than it did for me.”

Felicity felt her eyes bulge and her breath shorten. “What did you just say?”

“It’s part of the chi your aikido teacher was always saying.”

“My aikido teacher?”

Something clicked and Rick’s eyes widened. “You remember?”

“I remember the saying. I remember… I’ve been saying it to myself over and over. But
I thought it was something my parents said.”

He shook his head. “I mean, they might have. But I thought you learned it after we
got together. You always said it had taken you a while to truly get the essence of
aikido. I assumed that’s what you meant. That your new teacher had shown it to you
with all his chatter about the way of the chi. But I guess you’d been doing it for
a while before you met me.”

Felicity paused. It didn’t really change anything. Whether she learned the saying
before or after being with Rick, it didn’t bring any other memories back with it.
“And you came to classes with me?”

“Noooo. Aikido’s not really my thing. I thought it was quite hot that you were into
it, though. All those locks and throw-downs. Sexy.” His grin belied his earlier sigh,
then his face became serious again. “You thought meditation would help me at work.
Increase my focus, my productivity.”

“God, I sound dull.”

“Oh, no. Controlled maybe, but not dull.”

Felicity paused and racked her brain for some flicker of where the saying she’d been
using as a mantra these last months had come from. “You are light,” she murmured.

“Yes. I guess I am. And fluid, calcium deposits, and a bunch of other minerals.”

“Har-de-har-har.”

He shrugged and grinned again.

Felicity narrowed her eyes, trying to look inside Rick McCarthy. She’d worked with
him for five years. Trusted him. Was going to
marry
him. Him, with his perfect chest now glistening with a sheen of salt from the seawater.
Him, with those rich chocolate eyes that made her heart shudder when she remembered
looking into them as he drove her over the edge. Him, with just the right amount of
hair leaving a trail from his belly button to below where his board shorts hung on
his hips.
Chill out, lady, don’t go having a complete swoonfest over him. You still don’t really
know the guy and he sure doesn’t know this new you.
What’s more, she wasn’t sure she knew herself yet.

Yet the more time they spent together, the more she discovered that he had known her
just as intimately as he claimed. And despite her snarky comments, he was still determined
to marry her. That had to count for something, didn’t it? But if she was even going
to
think
about making a go of whatever the heck the two of them being together was, it was
going to take a whole lot more than a few dives and lunch for her to make a decision.

Felicity shook her head and straightened, trying to shake off the anxiety that all
this uncertainty had poured into her bloodstream. She might not remember him, but
at some point there needed to be a place where the past stopped and the future began,
starting with focusing on the things that
did
work between them. She said she would give them a go, and she meant it. No more snarky
comments. She was going to try to enjoy the fun and fantasy that was on offer. All
of it.

“I’ve been enjoying getting to know you. All of you,” Rick said, and Felicity felt
a blush threaten again.

She moved toward him timidly. “It was good of you to take the time to come and find
me. I get that we have a past. A big past.” Taking a deep breath, she dropped the
towel she’d wrapped around her to the floor. Kicking it aside, she tugged at the strings
of her bikini top and let it fall. “I guess it’s time to see if we have a future as
well.”

Chapter Eleven

The sun was at its midday point. It should have left the room flat and overlit. But
as the pink scrap of bikini fabric dropped to the floor, Rick could have sworn the
light in the room became warmer. Or maybe it was just the temperature.

“So we get to make up now?”

Felicity raised an eyebrow. “Make up?”

“After fighting. I hear it’s the best part.”

Rick watched Felicity’s hand hesitate before untying one side of her bikini bottom
and then the other before it, too, succumbed to gravity. He took a step toward her
but she held up a hand. “If we’re going to get to know each other properly we really
should start from the beginning.”

There was a slight uncertainty in her voice, a fragility she hadn’t allowed herself
when he’d known her before.
She’s decided to trust you.
A pang of guilt flashed through him when he thought of what he still hadn’t told
her about the investment deal, but Rick focused his energy on crushing it. She was
going to be his wife a few months ago. As far as he was concerned, she was still going
to be his wife. He’d given her every reason to hope he was everything he’d said he
was.
I am.
“I’m not sure we—”

Again, she held up a hand, then pointed to the bed, a king size, covered in pale-blue
printed fabric with a mosquito net draped around it.

“After you.”

“No, no.” She bit her lip. “You’re going to watch.”

Seems she doesn’t need looking after at all.
He moved the mosquito net aside and sat on the bed. This Felicity took what she wanted,
and he was just doing as he was told. They
were
going to be husband and wife. She’d come back with him and all of this would be something
to laugh about when they grew old and had conquered biotech.

“Are you paying attention?”

Rick nodded.
This
certainly went with the plus side of new Felicity traits. The old Felicity had rocked
his socks off for sure, but she hadn’t taken charge in bed. Not like this. He felt
his cock sit up and pay attention as she’d instructed.

Letting a hand trail down her stomach, Felicity pushed two fingers through the blond
hair between her thighs. She gave a slight moan but didn’t stop.
Oh, yeah.
His cock did more than sit up politely but he didn’t bother to hide it, leaning back
on his hands to give himself more room in his shorts. If she was going to play the
coquette, he was going to go along for every little bit of the ride.

Felicity’s eyes flickered down to the obvious tent at his crotch.
Was that a blush?
There was the faintest hint of color in her cheeks Rick hadn’t noticed before. It
could have been a touch of the sun, or it could have been self-consciousness.
Suits her either way.

Whatever it was, she brushed it aside and kept her fingers working. “I like being
touched just here,” she said and spread her legs a little wider. “You had it that
second time on the island, but we don’t want it to be a fluke.”

No, we certainly don’t.

“Everyone says to take it slow, but I like it deep as well. As soon as I’m wet, you
should circle my clit once and then push inside me.”

Rick felt his jaw clench and his cock try to leap out of his board shorts. There was
no beating around the bush with her today. “And what if you’re not wet yet?”

“Then you should touch me here.” She used her other hand to caress the outer side
of her breast. “And here.” Lifting her arm languidly over her head, she pulled the
hand from her clit and stroked the side of her neck, down to her armpit.

He tried to stand up.

“No. Not yet. You only get to move when I say so.” She walked over to him and stood
just out of reach. “If touching me like that doesn’t work, you need to work harder.”
She pushed her hands over her breasts, plumping them up and bending at the waist a
little to give him the best possible view.

“I’ll do my best, ma’am.” He swallowed saliva, hoping that the show was going to include
audience participation very soon.

“I should think so. Now, I’m good and wet today so you best watch and learn. There’ll
be a quiz later.”

How could she do that? Switch from sultry to stern in a sentence. Rick lowered his
eyes, willing himself to find as much self-control as she seemed to possess. When
he looked up again, he caught her glancing at his crotch. Ha.
It’s all an act. A way to provide her own distraction. Excellent.
“Who gets to write the questions?” he pressed her.

“I do. And I’ll know if you’re cheating.”

She pushed her fingers back toward her clit and Rick reached out a hand, pulling her
toward him. “I need a closer view.”

Expecting her to push him off, Rick tightened his grip on her leg. Surprisingly, she
let him hold her, even while she continued to stroke herself. Rick watched her breath
shudder. “I think I’ve learned everything I need to know,” he growled.

“Don’t be so sure.” She barely got the words out, her peak obviously building. Not
able to stop himself, Rick turned and pushed her onto the bed in one motion. Pulling
at his board shorts, he stood naked in front of her as she finally gave in to her
orgasm and writhed on the bed, her fingers slick with her own juices, her face a mask
of ecstasy.

“God, that’s hot,” he said when she finally quieted. Then, not wanting her to recover
fully, he crawled up her body, kissing butterflies over her skin as he went and swiftly
rolling protection on his very ready cock.

She pushed him up by the shoulders as he hovered above her. “You’re not going to show
me what you like?”

“Oh no, I’m going to show you exactly what I like.” Settling himself over her, he
plunged his full length into her still-swollen depths, loving the way she gasped as
he did so.

“But I’m…I already came,” she managed.

“Lucky you,” he said. “Time for dessert.” He pulled out almost to the tip and then
smoothly, slowly, eased himself all the way back inside her, relishing the heat of
her, the slick, wet grip of her pussy. “Relax and enjoy the ride,” he said. “You said
you wanted us to learn what we both liked, right?”

She nodded.

“Well, I
love
this. I love feeling you hot and wet from your climax. I love feeling your muscles
clamping around me, dragging me in. I love how sensitive you are right now, so when
I do this”—he tweaked her nipple and she gasped—“you do that. And you need to learn
that if you let me, I’m going to make you come again. I’m going to make that last
orgasm seem like something you had as a snack. This one is going to be hot fudge sauce
on top of chocolate ice cream and you’re going to enjoy every last bit of it because
there’s not an ounce of fat in it.” With every word he drove his cock into her, building
the pressure, letting the full length of himself rub against her clit as he pulled
back before driving in again.

Pinning her arms down, he looked into her eyes and saw the swirl of sensation he was
creating inside her. This was even better than on the island. There, she was feisty,
fierce, but today she was all that and more: softer, open to his ministrations, ready
to take every last part of him. Ready to take him at his word. “Let go.”

She did. She arched beneath him and he watched her disintegrate, her mouth gasping
for air, her eyes shut, every muscle in her body taut, clenched, holding him tight
as if she would never let him go.

Finally giving in to his desire completely, he increased his tempo until the world
started tilting sideways. As her climax peaked, he followed close behind, pumping
his seed into her and seeing stars as she clamped around him. He let out the groan
that had been building ever since she dropped her clothes. “Felicity. Baby.” In those
two words, Rick felt as though he sighed out the tension of the last five months.
This woman, this wonderful woman beneath him, fit with him as if they were a chromosomal
pair. She belonged back in his bed. Hell, he needed her back in his bed, needed to
make sure there was no more quibbling about it.

“Holy crap.” Her invective startled Rick out of his future-building.

He moved off her and collapsed on the bed. “You started it.”

She rolled onto her side. “I did, didn’t I?”

The smile of self-satisfaction suited her and he couldn’t help the laugh. “You should
take control like that more often.”

“Maybe I will.”

Rick tucked a finger under her chin and leaned in for a soft kiss. “I hope so.”

…

As the shower trickled over her, Felicity still couldn’t believe how bold she’d been.
Touching herself in front of him? Bloody hell, she didn’t know she had balls like
that.
Cool, though.
Yes, it was. In fact, it was great. Taking back a little power was just what she
needed, and it seemed she’d been wrong about Rick having to be in control all the
time. He’d loved it when she took charge. He’d said so.
And you loved it when his follow-through was as good as he promised.
She sure had. Felicity let her fingers trail south and shuddered as her still super-sensitive
skin quivered.

They’d missed their guided snorkeling booking, but she didn’t care. “I might not care
if we never leave this room again,” she said quietly.

“What was that? You almost done?” Rick’s voice came through the door and Felicity
grinned. She turned off the water and stepped out of the huge infinity shower, wrapping
herself in one of the resort’s plush pale-blue towels.

“So we could rebook the snorkeling for tomorrow but that would mean missing the flight
down to Yasur volcano. And the horseback riding.” Rick looked up from a pile of tourist
brochures as she walked in.

“Horseback riding?”

“Yeah. You used to like it, and they have this trek that goes through a forest, past
a massive banyan tree. Or over the white grass plains—I thought you might like to
see the wild horses. It’s a bit of a squeeze, but if we leave first thing we can fit
it in, and then get in late to Nandi.”

Felicity shook her head. “Who are you, Cashypants?”

He smiled. “I’m still Rick McCarthy. Not exactly Cashypants, but I’m not bad off.”

“I didn’t mean that, I just… You know all this stuff about me, and I don’t remember
anything.”

“Still?”

She pouted a sad face and Rick pulled her into his lap. “So we make some new memories.
What do you want to do? See the fighter planes or the wild horses and the volcano?
Or try to do both?”

Putting her hands to his chest, Felicity pushed back to get him in view better. “I
want to see it all. But does it have to be all at once?”

“Bit much?”

She nodded. “Maybe we could just stay here?”

“Take it slow?” He chuckled. “Or slow-ish.”

To think, she’d thought him a total unfeeling shark. Cashypants had just planned her
the ultimate adventure holiday and then unplanned it in a second, just because she
wanted to swan around here instead.

“Do you want to start with a stroll down to the markets?” he asked. “Followed by a
gentle bareback ride along the beach?”

The smile felt like she’d kept it buried for too long. But this was a real smile,
full teeth, full eye wrinkles, full warmth, and it fit her mouth nicely.
Now all you have to do is keep it there.