Love Life & Circumstance (6 page)

Seth’s hair had dried to frame his slightly flushed face in a halo of wavy milk chocolate locks. They fell in tousled curls to nestle over the naked flesh of his shoulders, as he stood there all smooth and mellow, towering above him with the fire dancing over all that bared delectable skin. Elijah wanted to melt into him, pull him down into his arms and see how soft his lips would feel pressed against his own.

“I’ve imposed enough, Mr. Deacon. I am sorry for your loss and for Beth’s part in it. I’ll just collect my things and see myself out.”

“My name’s Elijah, Mr. Deacon was my dad. I know this has to have been hard for you; you lost someone, too. God knows we can’t be responsible for the actions of others. Please, Seth, sit, have another drink with me.” Elijah used the poker to unhook the caddy and refilled the glasses.

He was somewhat shocked when Seth sprawled on the floor beside him instead of taking the seat. He didn’t know why, but Elijah felt as though some of the ice had thawed between them. Seth confirmed it when he spoke.

“I really don’t want to be alone, you know.”

Elijah nodded and snagged the thick chenille throw from the couch and handed it to Seth. “My father may have been a pastor, but that doesn’t mean his son turned out to be a saint. All that flesh is a bit of temptation.”

Seth’s soft laughter acted like a balm to his heart as the man accepted the throw and placed it across his back. They sat there together, leaning back against the sofa, talking about nothing in particular and staring into the flames. It didn’t matter when they both fell silent. Seth seemed to relax around him and Elijah liked the man’s company and his easy going nature. The clock ticked on the mantle and more logs were placed into the fire. The bourbon joined with the flames to ward away the numbness of the day’s events.

When Seth’s head came to rest on Elijah’s arm and a soft subtle snore came from his slightly parted lips, Elijah refused to move. He didn’t want to lose what he had in this moment. Human contact.
Was Seth gay?
God only knew. Elijah could only dream. Even if Seth was into men, what were the chances he’d be into someone like Elijah? And then, there were their families to think about, or the lack thereof, due to the wreck. It was a whole can of whoop ass waiting to come undone.  But, as he sat there listening to Seth sleep, Elijah had the strangest feeling that fate was well at play.
Did he believe in fate?

“Oh lordy be, yes, I do.” He whispered as he lowered Seth’s frame gently onto the lamb’s wool rug.

Elijah rested his back against the foot of the chair, content to stay awake and watch over Seth. He covered the man in the throw and closed his eyes. Who was he trying to kid? He’d had two days from hell and now the hottest guy he’d ever met lay asleep virtually cradled in his lap. Elijah let his fingertips play gently through the soft floppy curls framing Seth’s face and rested his head against the crook of his arm. Sleep crept up on him and Elijah refused to resist. Even when Seth stirred in his sleep and turned so his ass lay spooned in Eli’s lap, he was too tired to move. Instead, he buried his face deep into the strands of Seth’s beautiful hair and inhaled the scent of his skin. As sleep took him under, Elijah couldn’t help but wonder if heaven was a place on earth, because if it was, then he’d found himself an angel.

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CHAPTER EIGHT

~  *  ~  *  ~  *  ~

The dream faded and Seth drifted toward consciousness. Desperately, he grasped at sleep and the vanishing image of Bethany’s smiling face. A sob tore from his chest when her image disappeared completely. Hot tears leaked from his eyes, and a low moan escaped. He shifted and something tightened around his waist. An arm? Confusion blasted the sleep from his mind.

“Easy, Seth, I’ve got you.” Deep and gravelly with sleep, the voice soothed his frazzled nerves. He lay still as the heat registered. It ran down his back, curled around his ass and curved along the length of his thighs. Warm breath filtered through his shoulder length hair to tease his neck. Unfamiliar surroundings met his gaze when his eyes popped open. The empty glass sitting on the hearth tugged his memory.

Elijah Deacon, he was lying on the floor in Deacon’s house, in Deacon’s arms? Shocked, he tried to sit up, but once again, the arm around his waist held him where he lay.

“Don’t rush off. It was…nice not to wake up alone.” Shivers raced down Seth’s spine when Elijah spoke. Silence stretched between them as his mind raced. He remembered having a drink or three, sitting before the fire and then…nothing. He cleared his throat.

“I guess I should say thanks for the drink and good morning.” The arm around his waist loosened, and he shifted onto his back so he could see Elijah.

“Mornin’ Seth. I think we both needed the bourbon though I didn’t expect you to pass out.” With his head propped on a bent elbow, Elijah looked down at him a half smile on his mouth. Seth flushed.

“I’m not much of a drinker. It always goes straight to my head.”

“I’m not complainin’. Like I said, this wasn’t a morning I wanted to face alone.” Magnificent blue eyes studied his face. Seth saw the question in them, the first flares of desire.

With the fingers of grief still wrapped around his heart, Seth knew he didn’t want to be alone then anymore than he had the night before. To answer the question he read in the other man’s stare, he lifted his hand and slid a thumb across Elijah’s lips. The arousal in Elijah’s eyes flared brighter as understanding dawned. A denim clad leg slid over Seth’s thighs to join the arm holding him in place. At his hip, a thick hardness pressed against him. His mouth went dry as his gaze flicked between the man’s mesmerizing eyes and his full lips. Need flooded his system, the need to feel alive, to be held.

Get a grip, Seth. Not the time or place.
His conscious chided him.
He’s th
e
one with his cock pressed against your thigh.
His libido quickly answered. Before he could decide which voice to listen to, Elijah closed the distance between them and captured his mouth.

At six feet two inches and squarely muscled, Seth rarely felt dwarfed by another male, but Elijah seemed to surround him. His body responded automatically. Blood surged into his cock lengthening it. Elijah parted Seth’s lips with his tongue deepening the kiss and rolled to bring his full weight down atop Seth.  Seth moaned at the full body contact. His legs spread to accommodate the bigger man and his arms came up to circle Elijah’s neck. All coherent thought fled when Elijah’s mouth trailed down his throat and then latched onto his flesh. The other man sucked gently. Seth felt the pressure all the way to the head of his dick. He thrust up grinding his cock against the larger man.

“Well, well someone’s having a good morning.”

With a curse, Elijah rolled away and sprang to his feet. Dazed, Seth sat up and flushed when he realized he was bare to the waist. He scrambled to his feet and avoided both sets of eyes.

“Rhett, your timing sucks as usual. Seth this is…” Elijah started.

“I know who he is, from the funeral home.” Seth scraped his fingers through his hair. Belatedly, he remembered the kiss between the two men the day before. He met Rhett’s eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” Spinning on his bare heel, he fled to the bathroom and shucked Elijah’s jogging pants. He cursed when he realized he hadn’t turned the dryer on long enough the night before. The still damp clothes felt clammy against his skin, but Seth shoved arms and legs into the clingy material. Shoes in hand, he ducked out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the front door. A large frame blocked his path.

“What’s the hurry? I thought we’d have breakfast.”

Seth looked everywhere but at the man in front of him. “I, umm, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We’re both under a lot of stress. I shouldn’t have stopped by here last night.” He reached for the door and expelled a sigh of relief when Elijah moved to the side. “I hope I didn’t cause problems for you. I’m sure if you explain what happened, he’ll understand.” He glanced up to see Elijah closer than he’d expected. A perplexed frown marred the man’s face. Lush lips arched into a frown. An overwhelming urge to kiss away that scowl caused Seth to bite the inside of his cheek. What was the hell was up with his body and his reaction to this man?

“I have to go. Dry clothes, get to the hospital. She’s waiting for me. And, he’s here, and I hope I haven’t made a mess of things. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I won’t bother you again.” He clamped his lips together to stop the babbling. “Goodbye Mr. Deacon.”

He ducked out the door and nearly sprinted for his Range Rover. He skidded to a stop when Rhett, Jr. appeared from behind the truck. Eyes hard, the funeral attendant poked a finger in Seth’s chest.

“Stay away from him, or didn’t you get the message yesterday?” Rhett sneered, his lip curled away from his teeth. “You think you can prance your perky ass in here and take him away from me? You’re wrong. We have history. I know what he needs, and it’s not you.”

Although the threatening manner riled his usually slow to light temper, Seth brought his hands up chest high palms out. “I get it. None of this was his fault. I won’t be seeing him again and after visitation tonight, you won’t see me either.” He swung the door open and climbed into his truck. Dust filled his rearview mirror as he wheeled around and raced down the dirt drive.

He meant what he’d said to Rhett. He had no intention of getting involved with Elijah Deacon, or anyone else for that matter. But, during the short drive to his home, his body refused to forget the feel of the other man flush against him, or those firm lips pressed against his skin.

After a hot shower, clean clothes and a walk for Rocky, Seth drove to the hospital. Hope lay in her incubator, in the same position as the previous night. The steady rise and fall of her chest eased some of the worry scrambling his thoughts. A nurse noticed him through the glass and buzzed him into the changing room. Newly dressed in scrubs, he waited for the nurse to let him into the NICU.

“She’s gained a bit of weight overnight. The blood transfusions are helping; her RBC’s are up.”

“Any other problems?” When the young male nurse shook his head, Seth slid his hands through the holes to let them warm. “How long can I stay?”

“It’s pretty quiet in here so stay as long as you like.  If things get hectic, we’ll ask you to leave.”

Seth nodded and reached to stroke a finger down Hope’s back. Like a little kitten, she arched into his touch.

“Good morning precious. Saw your mom in my dreams last night.” A lump formed in his throat and tears blinded him. His mind went blank. Should he say that to a baby? He rested his head against the plastic. “It’s just you and me sweet girl. Your mommy’s gone to be with the angels. She loved you.” His voice caught on the last sentence. Did Bethany love this baby? She never discussed her pregnancy, hadn’t bought anything to prepare for the baby’s arrival, and refused to give up her party girl lifestyle. But, when their lives hung in the balance, Bethany chose to let this little girl live.

“You have to fight sweetheart. I need you to be strong. You’re all I have left.” Emotion clogged his throat again. While he fought for control, he trailed his fingers over Hope’s soft bare skin.

Hours later, he raised his head and pulled a hand free to swipe at the tear tracks. He’d talked off and on, telling his tiny niece about his and Bethany’s childhood. Other times, he sat quietly watching her breathe and wondered if she’d live long enough to have the same experiences he’d described to her. As the hour drew closer for the visitation, he grew more anxious.  “I have to go little one. Have to go make sure your mom isn’t alone tonight during visitation.” With a last glide of his finger down the little girl’s back, he stood and caught the nurse’s eye.

“You have my number?” The young man nodded. “If anything changes, let me know. Do you need more blood? Or anything?”

“No sir. Hope’s doing well considering her early delivery and the mother’s history.” Seth dropped his gaze and sighed. He should have been harder on Bethany. Would the guilt ever go away?

“She’s responding to you.” Surprised, his head jerked up. “Her heartbeat is stronger when you’re touching her, and her breathing is easier. Don’t be a stranger; you’re helping her just by being here.”

Some of the pressure in his chest eased a bit. “Thank you for that. Is there anything I shouldn’t say to her?”

“Right now, the sound of your voice soothes her, the words aren’t important. Touch, that’s important. Hold her if you feel comfortable, but always touch her.”

Seth smiled his thanks. “I have to do Bethany’s visitation tonight. Can I come back after?”

“Definitely. I’ll let the nurses know at shift change to expect you.”

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Seated in the front pew, Seth rested his elbows on his knees; alone, except for Bethany laid out in the blue casket. He’d stood by her when the doors first opened, but when no one showed up, he’d taken his seat on the pew. He couldn’t bear looking at her lying there so still. Devereux had outdone himself. The bruises and lacerations he’d seen in the hospital were barely visible. She looked peaceful, more so than she had the last few months. Still, he should have gone with a simple graveside service.

Two hours into the visitation and only a handful of names filled the guest book outside the funeral home’s smallest sanctuary. His colleagues in Atlanta sent flowers but didn’t make the almost four hours drive down. He couldn’t blame them. They had work the next day. Bethany’s friends had stopped in an hour earlier, but didn’t stick around. They planned to go out and drink in her honor. The irony grated.

He tried to ignore the low hum of voices from the hallway. The turnout for Pastor Deacon overflowed the large chapel and spilled into the foyer. Idly, he wondered how Elijah was holding up. True to his word, he’d stayed away from the other service, closeting himself in the small room assigned for Beth’s visitation. He hadn’t spotted Rhett, Jr. or Senior, but he hadn’t expected too. Junior was probably at Elijah’s side, offering him support and comfort. Senior would be overseeing the mass of humanity. The lone female attendant assigned to Bethany’s arrangements sat unmoving in the back of the small room. Wasn’t a lot for her to do considering he was alone.