Love Lessons (26 page)

‘Well, tell Toby I'll catch up with him later,' I said, and rushed on.

I chanted inside my head.
Let Rax be there, please please let Rax be there. I'll do anything, but let Rax be in his art room, all alone, so I can talk to him
.

I got to the art room, I opened the door – and wonder of wonders, Rax was sitting on his desk, shoulders slumped, staring into space.

‘Rax, Rax, Rax!' I called.

He stared at me and then jumped down from his desk. ‘What's the matter, Prue?'

‘Oh, Rax,' I said, starting to cry.

‘What is it? What's happened? Tell me!' said Rax.

‘It's Dad! He knows!' I sobbed.

‘What?' said Rax. He looked horrified. ‘What do you mean, he knows? You didn't
tell
him, did you, Prue? What did you
say
?'

‘I didn't say anything! He came home this weekend, he's getting better, he can talk now, and he saw us in our Wentworth uniform, and he says we can't come to school any more!' I wailed.

‘What about you and me? Did you tell him about us?'

‘Of course I didn't!'

‘Oh, thank Christ.'

‘But don't you see, Rax, he hates the whole idea of Wentworth. He positively forbade Grace and me to come today. We just rushed out, but he's so fierce, he won't let us get away tomorrow, and he won't let me babysit, I know he won't.'

I looked at Rax, tears streaming down my cheeks. He breathed out, leaning against his desk. I saw the look of relief on his face. I saw it and I couldn't bear it. I sobbed harder.

‘Prue! Prue, stop it. Come on, calm down. It'll be all right. Don't worry. Don't cry so. You're getting in such a state over nothing.'

‘Nothing! Is that all our love means to you?
Nothing
?'

‘Ssh now! Of course not. But there's no point getting hysterical. We'll get everything sorted out. I'm sure you'll be able to stay at school. Prue,
please
don't cry like that.' He took two steps forward, hands outstretched, and I fell into his arms.

I wept against his chest. He patted my back like a father. ‘There there,' he murmured, as if I was Harry's age. I wept harder, hating him for not caring more, but loving him because he was still my true love and soul-mate.

‘I
love
you, Rax,' I said – as the art-room door swung open behind us.

We wheeled round, Rax pushing me away from him. We looked at the door. It was only Sarah, smiling at us, her red ball dangling on the end of its elastic.

Rax rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. Then he forced a smile on his face. ‘Hello, Sarah,' he said.

‘Hello, Rax,' she said cheerfully. ‘Look at my red ball!'

‘Great,' he said.

‘Prue, Toby wants you,' Sarah insisted.

‘Never
mind
,' I said, scrubbing at my eyes with the back of my hand.

‘You're crying,' said Sarah.

‘No, no, she's just got something in her eye,' said Rax. ‘Prue, you'd better go and find out what Toby wants.'

‘But I have to talk to you!'

‘
I
like talking to Rax,' said Sarah.

‘And I like talking to you, Sarah,' said Rax.

Sarah smiled at me triumphantly. ‘You go and find Toby,' she said.

‘But I
must
talk to you, Rax!' I said desperately.

‘Later,' said Rax. ‘Off you go now.'

I was summarily dismissed. I floundered across the playground, still crying.

‘Prue,
there
you are! What's the matter? What's happened? Is it Rita? What's she done now?' Toby said, rushing up to me.

‘Nothing,' I said. ‘Just leave me be, Toby.'

‘But I've got the most amazing thing to tell you!' said Toby. ‘Didn't you hear me shouting at you? You know that book you lent me? You'll never guess what!'

I could guess, all right. He'd read a whole page himself, or maybe a whole chapter. I didn't care if he'd read the whole book.

‘I'm sorry, Toby, not now. For God's sake, can't you leave me
alone
!'

I ran away from him into school. I hid in the girls' cloakrooms until the bell went for lessons. It was English first. Mrs Godfrey was irritably teaching the balcony scene from
Romeo and Juliet
. The class read out line after line, talking like metronomes, ruining the romance and the poetry.

I ached to read Juliet but I knew Mrs Godfrey would never pick me. She was talking about the concept of love now, getting impatient when some of the class started whistling and making crass remarks.

‘For heaven's sake, stop all this nonsense!' she said. ‘Romeo and Juliet are one of the most famous pairs of lovers in literature. Can anyone think of a modern equivalent?'

‘Posh and Becks, miss?'

‘Brad and Jennifer.'

‘Richard and Judy.'

‘Prue and Toby,' said Rita furiously.

‘No,' said Sarah. ‘Prue and Rax.'

I sat very still, praying that people would keep on shouting out stupid suggestions. But Sarah had a loud voice and silenced everyone else.

‘Prue and
Rax
?' said Rita.

‘Yes, they're dead romantic,' said Sarah.

‘Don't be silly, Sarah,' said Mrs Godfrey, sighing.

‘I'm not silly,' said Sarah, getting worked up.

‘No, I know, I simply meant your
suggestion
was silly,' said Mrs Godfrey.

‘Prue and Rax are lovers,' Sarah insisted.

Someone gasped, someone giggled.

‘Will you stop staying that, please, Sarah,' said Mrs Godfrey.

‘They are, they are. Rax was hugging Prue and she said “I love you” to him,' said Sarah. ‘You
did
, didn't you, Prue?'

There were more gasps. Everyone stared at me. The kids in front swivelled right round. Mrs Godfrey stood still, shocked into silence.

The bones in my spine juddered all the way down my back, as if I'd fallen from a great height.

Mrs Godfrey said nothing at all to me, but she must have spoken to Miss Wilmott after the lesson. Sarah was sent for. Then me.

I'd rehearsed a dozen different excuses, stories, lies . . . but as soon as I saw Miss Wilmott's face I knew it was pointless. She looked at me with disdain, breathing shallowly as if I'd started to smell.

‘I want you to tell me all about your friendship with Mr Raxberry,' she said.

My mouth dried. ‘There's nothing to tell,' I mumbled. ‘I know Sarah said stuff in the English lesson, but she's got it all wrong because – because she's simple.'

‘Sarah might not be the brightest girl in the class, I know. That's the point. She's not the sort of girl who would fantasize. She says she saw you and Mr Raxberry together in the art room before school and you were embracing. She says you told Mr Raxberry you loved him and he held you in his arms and fondled you.'

‘No!' I said. ‘
Fondle
sounds horrible. He was just being
kind
to me, like a good teacher.'

‘I believe you've been babysitting for him on Friday evenings?'

‘Yes, but I'm a friend of his family. There's nothing in it. We haven't done anything
wrong
.'

‘I'm not sure that's entirely true, Prudence. I've already had a long conversation with Mr Raxberry himself. I feel that there are some aspects of your friendship that could be considered inappropriate.'

‘No! No, he's done
nothing
. You mustn't blame him. All right, I
did
say I loved him, but he didn't encourage me in any way. He was just comforting me because I'm so unhappy. My father doesn't want me to come to Wentworth any more.'

Miss Wilmott leaned forward, propping her chin on her fingertips. ‘Do you really
want
to stay at Wentworth, Prudence? I don't think you've made much of an effort to fit in. You are obviously gifted in certain areas, and I'm sure in good time you'll learn to cope with maths, but I haven't been at all happy with your attitude. You don't seem to understand how to behave in school. I've heard tales of unsuitable underwear and then a silly romance with one of the boys in your class. I feel that in the space of a few short weeks you've made rather a bad name for yourself.'

I felt my face flaming. ‘That's incredibly unfair! I don't know who's been telling you tales, but you've got an entirely slanted viewpoint. You shouldn't be influenced by rumours and tattle-tales.'

‘This is precisely what I mean, Prudence. I don't know whether you intend to be deliberately insolent but you certainly come across as an unpleasantly opinionated and arrogant girl. Your sister seems to be a sweet child and she's settled down well at Wentworth. I shall be happy to keep her here, but I can't help feeling that you'll be much better off elsewhere. I shall try hard to engineer a suitable transfer to another school.'

‘But I
want
to stay here.'

‘Why is that? Let me make myself clear. I can't risk having you and Mr Raxberry at the same school, whatever the ins and outs of your friendship. Things have to be nipped in the bud immediately. If you won't leave then I shall have to ensure Mr Raxberry finds another position.'

‘No, you can't do that! He's a brilliant teacher.'

‘You should have thought of that before you started acting in this ridiculous and precocious manner. If I were another kind of headteacher I would have Mr Raxberry instantly suspended. There could even be a court case. He would not only lose his job, he could find himself in very serious trouble. Did you ever stop to think about that?'

I couldn't help crying then, though I hated breaking down in front of her. ‘Please don't get him into trouble, Miss Wilmott,' I begged. ‘None of this was his fault.'

‘I'm inclined to believe you, Prudence. So what are we going to do? Are you going to let me transfer you to another school?'

I sat there, agonized. I so wanted to save darling Rax – and yet why hadn't he wanted to save
me
? Had he told Miss Wilmott it was all my fault, that I'd got a ridiculous crush on him, that I'd made ludicrous advances to him? I burned at the thought. I wanted to tell this horrible, patronizing woman how hungrily he'd kissed me, but I couldn't do it. I loved him. I had to help him.

‘All right. I'll leave Wentworth,' I whispered.

‘That's very sensible of you, Prudence. Right. I'll send you to the Success Maker for the rest of the day. Make the most of your last maths tuition! The tutor in charge will tell you when you may go home. Before too long you should be notified about a new school. Off you go now. Of course I need hardly add that I'm strictly forbidding you to get in contact with Mr Raxberry from now on.'

I knew I couldn't risk running straight to Rax. I couldn't get him into any more trouble. I spent a terrible endless time in the Success Maker, in such a state of anxiety I was even more hopeless than usual, and the tutor despaired.

Sarah was part of our small dunce tuition group. She blinked at me nervously. ‘Did I get you into trouble?' she asked.

‘Yes.'

‘I didn't mean to. Miss Wilmott kept asking me stuff.' Sarah was nearly in tears. ‘Why is it bad to love Rax, Prue?
I
love him.'

‘It's not bad. Take no notice. Miss Wilmott's just being horrible.'

‘Was she very cross with you?'

‘Yes.'

‘But you don't have to stand outside her door as a punishment?'

‘She's not letting me come back to the school after today.'

Sarah blinked again, her blue eyes watering. ‘Is it all my fault?' she asked.

‘No,' I said, with an effort.

‘It
is,
' Sarah said, her face crumpling.

‘No. Don't cry, Sarah. It's OK. I don't
want
to come to this crummy old school. I hate it.'

I
did
hate it, but it felt dreadful to be excluded all the same. They kept me back an extra ten minutes by myself in the Success Maker. I realized it was so I couldn't see any of the others in my form. They were acting as if I might contaminate them. I couldn't even say goodbye to Toby.

When they eventually let me out I marched across the playground with my head held high in case Miss Wilmott or any of the staff were spying on me from their windows. Grace was hopping up and down at the gate.

‘What's going on, Prue? I asked some of the girls in your class if they'd seen you and they said you were in dead serious trouble but they wouldn't say why.'