Love Is Fear (22 page)

He entered a room and she was stunned, like one of those animals that gets clubbed over the head and then doesn’t protest as it’s dragged off to become dinner. But now, seeing him as befuddled by desire for her as she was for him? It wasn’t just arousing, she felt like she was drowning in want.

His hands were under her skirt and she felt her underwear tear again as he ripped the seams of it, pulling it off. Cool air hit her flesh, her skirt raised in the back as his hands palmed, then kneaded her ass.

His head descended, kissing her, demanding she open her mouth for his kiss. Her lips parted and his tongue was instantly in her mouth, kissing her, tasting her and she couldn’t help but moan. She felt him take another breath, like he was devouring her passion. As if he had to take 
something
 from her since he wouldn’t be taking her blood.

She walked backwards towards the bed and he followed, crowding close, a noise like a growl coming from his lips as he kissed her jaw and then the area behind her ear. He was almost frantic, his heavy hand hiking up her skirt as soon as her back hit the mattress. His fingers were on her, between her legs, his touch surprisingly gentle considering that he was almost trembling with… 
something
.

“
If I could kill him, I would. If I thought I could do it without losing you, I would wipe him from the earth. You are mine, Valerie. Do you understand that? I will not share you, will not allow you to go back to him, there will 
never
 be anyone else,” he said, commanding her.

Lucas slipped down her body, urging her to open her legs, then settling between her thighs, spreading open her soft flesh to his hungry gaze. And then he kissed her, open mouthed, as though he could make her obey him, wipe Jack from her mind and body with his touch.

She was instantly arching under him, grinding closer, felt his hands move to her hips as he pulled her infinitesimally closer. Held her how he wanted her. Her hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer, her thighs locking on his head. And then she was coming, long and hard, with a cry.

Waves of pleasure rippled through her, she was still coming when he was suddenly on top of her, his hand lifting her thigh, opening her as he sank into her in one powerful thrust. The power of it, the pleasure of him stretching her wide stole her breath. He was so large that if she hadn’t been aroused and made to spend first, it would have hurt. Instead it was just right, almost profound.

He pounded inside of her, thrusting in hard, fast strokes, claiming her. “Tell me, Valerie. Tell me you are mine,” he said in a harsh whisper.

She looked into his eyes, shocked to see the emotion there. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t human or pretty but it was an emotion and he was drowning in it. She could see it in the set of his mouth, feel it in the possessive grip he had on her and the way he kept her close even as he ruthlessly sought his own release in the depths of her body.

“
My name. You will call my name as you come. Do you understand me?” His hand slipped between their bodies, his fingers rubbing her, stroking her again. She almost told him she wouldn’t be able to, that it was too soon after the last climax to come again, but then she felt it building within her.

She closed her eyes and met him thrust for thrust, hands on his shoulders, nails embedded in his back. He hissed in pleasure, thrust faster and she felt the orgasm winding tight within her like a wave pulling back from the shore.

“
Say it, my Valkyrie.” She opened her eyes, almost as if he’d compelled her to look again, to keep that connection between them. She could see the slightest flecks of green in his pale blue eyes and she tried to see deep inside of him, past the surface.

Maybe she was searching for more than was there. More than there ever was to him. The man he might have once been. The man who had been a husband and a father. Who had loved fiercely and walked in the daylight.

“
Lucas, Lucas,” she said quietly, over and over again like a promise. His forehead dipped to hers and he kissed her, like he was taking the taste of his name on her lips into himself.

She came, even more intensely than the time before. Sharper, a sensation closer to the sweetest torture. She felt him come, his loss of momentum, the halt of his indrawn breath as his body froze over hers, the heavy pulsing of his cock as he came deep inside her.

Moments passed and he kissed her again, slowly, maybe a kiss as close to love as she would ever get from him—possessive and jealous instead of kindness and love.

And the sadness of that threatened to overwhelm her. That she wouldn’t be able to see him as the monster he was from now on. A tiny part of her would always see him as what she wanted more than anything else in the world and something that she could never have.

She felt him shift, ready to move off of her but she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, her arms hard around his neck. “No, stay.”

“
I am not too heavy?” he said, looking down at her with a slight smile.

Yes, you’re much too heavy
. “No.”

Lucas shifted very slightly to the side so he could see her body, touch her softly from her breast to her hip. She touched him back. Leisurely, like they had all the time in the world and nothing else mattered. It was just the two of them and they could stay that way forever and he’d never let her go.

And for now it was enough. It had to be.

Chapter 
24

Val was back in the meadow holding a fist full of flowers, enjoying the sun on her face. A deep voice spoke from behind her. She whirled to face him, so surprised she made a small yipping noise.

“
What are you doing here?” Lucas asked.

“
You’re in my dream. What are 
you
 doing here?”

He reached for her hand, frowning. His gaze stuck on the flowers she held. “Where did you get these?”

The wind rose, making her long, gray dress snap. His fingers were slightly rough as he tried to uncurl her hand from the stems.

“
No,” Val said and took a step back, clutching the bouquet to her chest.

“
Do you know where you are?” he asked her.

“
No. Where am I?”

“
This is the land of the Fey.”

“
It’s beautiful. It’s like ours but…
more
. Eloquent, huh?” She smiled.

Lucas didn’t smile. If anything, his expression became even more grim. “Valerie. Why are you dreaming of this place?”

“
It’s just a meadow. We could be anywhere.” But even as she spoke, she knew he was right. He’d said it was the land of the Fey, and she’d felt it shiver down her spine like a hot breath on her back. A resonance that poured through her.

He closed his eyes. “I ask you again. Where did the flowers come from? What is the purpose of them?”

“
I’ve been gathering them,” she said, aware that her explanation sounded peculiar.

“
To what end?” he said louder and gripped her by the arms, bending his legs so that he could peer into her eyes.

She shook her head.

“
Give them to me.”

“
No,” she said, the response instant, her body awash in fear. Like he was a murderer trying to take away her child. She clutched the flowers tight. Tried to step back. Suspected she was moments away from panicking.

She could see him thinking. “Just hand them to me. I will give them back. I will not harm them.”

She shook her head. “Let go of me. If you want them, let me go,” she said, hearing the protectiveness in her tone.

He released her and she took a step back. Val had the urge to run away from him. “I can’t give them to you,” she whispered.

He hesitated, like he was dealing with a crazy person holding a gun. “All right.” His gaze flashed down to her hand then back up. “I will not touch them. Put them down on the ground instead. Just for a moment.”

“
Why?” Her heart pounded just thinking about it.

Val bent down, ready to lay the flowers on the ground, but stopped. She didn’t want to. No, it was worse. She 
couldn’t.
“I don’t want to let him go.”

His jaw hardened. “Who?” Lucas asked softly.

“
Who what?”

“
Whom do you not want to let go?”

“
I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“
This is more than a dream. Put the flowers down, Valerie.” The way he said it made her think he was running out of patience.

“
I can’t.”

He bent down, kneeling, then reached into his Jacket pocket and withdrew a knife. Val backed away with a gasp. Lucas rolled up his sleeve then dragged the blade across his arm lightly, a faint line of blood appearing. Then he picked some grass and rubbed it onto the wound. He made a noise as though it hurt.

“
What the hell are you doing?” she asked.

“
I want to see if the wound is there when we awake.”

“
This is a dream. That’s not possible.”

“
We shall see.”

His head tilted to the side. “You must give them to me, my Valkyrie, or I will take them from you.”

Lucas doesn’t belong here
.

She turned and ran, which was stupid. She couldn’t outrun a one-legged vampire, let alone the King of them all. But her heart kept pounding, telling her to leave him behind.

It seemed like she ran for hours, tirelessly, without the barest stumble. Finally, she stopped and turned around, almost expecting him to say ‘boo’ and scare the crap out of her. But she was alone. Lucas was gone.

She was on top of a hill, the long grass waving against her legs with a gentle shushing noise, a slight rustle of leaves in the trees, and, beyond that, nothing. The silence drew her attention because it was so unusual, so different than what she was used to.

A huge pond was in front of her. Lily pads dotted the surface, and it had a certain Pride and Prejudice quality to it, like Mr. Darcy might swim out at any moment.

She wanted to go into the water.

Val walked forward, undoing the laces of her dress as she moved. 
Wait. Laces? 
She looked down and noticed her peculiar outfit. Like she was going to a Henry VIII costume party after this.

Ignore it.

She kept walking, stripped off her clothes down to her chemise, a thin cotton undergarment that was like a slip. Nothing would stop her from going into the water. In the middle of the pond was an island with a red Orchid in full-bloom. The flower got caught up in the breeze, swaying gently as though it wanted to make sure she saw it. As though it was begging for her touch.

“
Stop.”

“
Lucas. You’re back.” She didn’t look away from the flower on the island, but knew he was behind her.

“
There is magic here, Valerie. Do you feel it?”

“
No.” She needed to get to that island.

He needs to leave.

“
You must not do anything else until we know what’s going on. We must talk to Rachel.”

Val waded into the water. Lucas cursed, the splash of his footsteps audible as he followed her into the water. She dove, swimming frantically in hopes of avoiding him and getting to the last flower.

To Cerdewellyn.

Lucas pulled her ankle and yanked her up, his hard arm wrapping around her waist.

“
No. 
No. 
You cannot!” he growled at her, hauling her back towards the shore.

She screeched and tried to pull away from him, kicking him hard in the leg. He grunted and continued to drag her out of the water. The weather changed, a storm coming in from the east, covering the land and them, rain soaking through her and chilling her to the bone within moments.

She kicked out again, and Lucas dropped her to the ground. His hair was plastered around his face, highlighting his harsh cheekbones and the severity of his features. “Wake up, Valerie. Wake up now!”

Val woke with a cry to find Lucas over her, shaking her hard.

“
Let go. I’m fine. I’m fine,” she said. Even to her, it sounded like a lie.

Chapter 
25

There was a knock at the door, and Rachel came in wearing a red silk robe, her hair tousled and free of makeup. It made her look young and innocent, like the makeup turned her into someone else and the real her was a lot more vulnerable than one would expect.

“
You rang?” Rachel said.

“
She is dreaming of the Fey and is compelled to pick flowers,” Lucas said quickly. He was wearing jeans, having dressed in haste a moment ago, the top button still undone. He put his hands on his hips and waited for Rachel to speak.