Authors: Carolyne Aarsen
“Tell me you're kidding.” Joe set the clipboard on the work counter with a thump and turned to look at his brother. “Come on, tell me that you parked the truck and walked her in and all. You did that, right?”
“No.”
Joe gave a slow shake of his head. “So I'll wager you didn't talk to her. Tell her how you feel?”
“How do I feel, Joe?” Dan muttered, his temper simmering, hot and angry, below the surface.
“You tell me.”
“Beth has a plane ticket to New York and the job of a lifetime waiting for her. I'm not going to be the guy who stands in her way.”
“That wasn't the question.” Joe met his gaze. “You know I've always respected you, Dan. You've always been a man who did the right thing. But you're way off the mark with this situation. Way off.”
Dan raised his palms. “Come on, Joe. Say I do have feelings for herâso what? I've known her a week.
A week
. How can this possibly be real?”
“No guarantees, pal. Ever. Life doesn't work like that. But you can't stop taking chances because you don't want to risk getting hurt again.”
“Seriously? Is that the best you can do?” Dan paced back and forth across the barn. “Do you think I haven't lain awake at night thinking this through? No matter how I look at things, it's a lose-lose proposition.”
He was angry. He didn't know why but he was angrier than he had been in a long time. Even angrier and more confused than when Amy's mother had left.
All because he'd gone and fallen in love with Beth Rogers.
And that ticked him off. Royally. No, he didn't live in the past, but today it was clear that he hadn't learned anything from the past, either.
The absurdity of it all was that Beth had been upright and honest with him all along.
He'd heard her talking to Ben. She had plans. But had she planned on Dan falling in love with her? Not likely.
He slammed his closed fist against a rail.
“Now that's a smart move. Bang up your hands and you can't do anything.”
“Back off, Joe.”
“It's not too late. Call her. Tell her that you love her.”
Dan's shoulders sagged in defeat. “What are you talking about?”
“Give her a chance to decide what she wants. Don't make the decision for her.”
“No. There is no way I can do that to her. You don't know what she's been through. A lesser person would have never made it this far.” Dan leaned over the rail and hung his head. He pulled his hat down and swiped at his eyes. It killed him to think of what Beth Rogers had suffered in life. No one deserved that, especially not her.
He took a ragged breath. “I'm not going to be the one who takes away everything she's worked her entire life for.”
“Have you ever considered that she wants you to ask her to stay?”
“She'd only regret staying. Maybe not today or tomorrow, or a year from now even. But someday she'll look at me and the ranch, and Paradise, and wonder what she's doing here.”
“I don't think you're right. I think Beth has been waiting her entire life for a home. Give her a chance.”
“No can do.” Dan turned away from his brother.
He rubbed his chest with his fist. The aching was almost physical. But no matter how much it hurt, he had to let Beth go.
Because
he loved her.
This was the right thing. For everyone.
Chapter Fourteen
B
eth unbuttoned her coat as she walked down the street. Spring was in the air in New York. She glanced up at the blue, cloudless sky that peeked between the skyscrapers. Around her, the trees that lined Broadway had begun to bloom. She passed the Woolworth Building and stopped to admire the neo-Gothic exterior.
What would Paradise be like in the spring? All those wide-open spaces with the mountain peaks as a backdrop. So different from New York. Was it possible to be a city girl and a country girl?
The bigger question was what would be going on at the Gallagher Ranch? Cattle would be out to the farther pastures. She'd learned that much in her short time as a ranch hand. Dan had said that the next thing they would be doing was vaccination and branding. Joe would begin preparing his fields for hay seeding.
Here everything was straight up. There was no vast horizon with sunsets and sunrises that filled the line of sight for miles and miles. Beth could barely see the night sky from the little window next to her bed. The only green grass was in the small parks that dotted the city.
Her biggest frustration was that after being here a month she continued to find herself getting lost. There was no grounding yourself by the mountains. She was still trying to understand the boroughs, the subway system and the buses. Then there was uptown and downtown and midtown. East and west. Now, that was a puzzle. Beth tried to cut herself some slack and remember that natives had been doing this all their lives.
She had discovered a shop that sold cronuts, a hybrid croissant and doughnut, and she'd waited in line forty-five minutes for one. Good, though absolutely no comparison to the oatmeal cinnamon raisin cookies with lemon frosting from Patti Jo's Café.
Beth shook her head. Who'd have believed that a mere four weeks ago she'd been delivering calves on a ranch? Paradise was the biggest, most unexpected adventure of her life. But New York was the adventure she'd always planned for, and she was determined to make the most of it. For the first time in her locum tenens career she wasn't hiding in temporary housing during her assignment. No, she purposed to get out and meet the world. And she was enjoying the world.
The medical offices had closed this morning for a computer upgrade and Beth didn't have a patient until one. There was plenty of time to be a tourist without actually letting on that she was one.
All she had to do was walk the city walk, confident face forward, no eye contact, and certainly no smiling and greetings to strangers on the street, as in Colorado.
Her attention was caught by the bright and colorful wares of a shirt vendor, and she hurried her steps toward the curbside kiosk.
“Two for ten dollar,” the vendor called. “Two for ten dollar.”
Elsie was certainly worth two genuine, authentic knockoff sweatshirts. Beth giggled as she read them, imagining Elsie's reaction. She finally settled on Fun Size and I'm a Keeper.
“Two for ten dollar.”
“Thanks. I'll take those two,” she said, pointing to the blue one and the pink one.
As the vendor folded the sweatshirts, Beth had a mental imagine of Elsie breezing through the house in the shirts, with a kitchen towel draped over her shoulder and her silver-and-black curls bouncing with every move.
How she missed Elsie, and her cooking, too. Beth hadn't taken the time to try the recipes yet. But she would, she told herself. All part of the new Beth who did what she wanted, and not what she thought everyone else expected her to do.
When she was jostled from behind, Beth turned. A tall man in a leather jacket smiled at her. “I'm sorry,” he said.
“Not a problem,” Beth replied.
She watched him walk away. Handsome, but no Dan Gallagher. No one was as tall or as handsome as Dan, and certainly no man was as charming, or chivalrous. Dan rode horses and snowmobiles, and delivered babies and cows, and kissed her as if she was the most precious and delicious thing in the world.
He rejected you.
In her heart she had already forgiven him. Dan was afraid and she couldn't hate him for that. Beth understood fear only too well.
What would she do about the chasm that fear had dug between them? That was the real question. She continued to read the Bible she'd brought from Elsie's and offer up her simple prayers, believing that God would answer her. After all, it was Dan who'd told her to talk to God. His words had pretty much changed her life.
Looking up, she realized she was outside a church. The one she passed going to work each day. Wrought-iron gates with glass lanterns surrounded the perimeter. There was an oak statue inside the fence. Beth tilted her head back to see the stained-glass window. She followed the sidewalk to the entrance and stepped in through the open gates. The sign said that the chapel was currently open to the public.
As if welcoming the world, the front doors had been left open and the spring breeze glided through. Beth followed.
It had been too many years since she'd been inside a church. And what a church this was. The floors were marble inlaid tiles. Cut-glass chandeliers hung from the ceiling. An amazing window of small panes was the backdrop for the altar. Behind the pulpit a golden coronet stood, adorned with six golden feathers.
She slid into a pew and sat, silently absorbing the overwhelming peace and sanctity of the chapel, barely able to raise her eyes to enjoy the beauty.
This was what Dan was talking about. The grounding presence of a God who loved her unconditionally. Who first loved her and forgave her.
Maybe it was time for Beth to do the same.
She eased into a kneeling position and began to offer up a prayer of forgiveness for her mother.
It was time to let go of the past.
* * *
Beth entered the medical suite through the private staff door and went directly to her office. She reached for her white coat hanging behind the door just as the receptionist poked her head in.
“Dr. Rogers, there's a man here to see you.”
“My one o'clock patient?”
“No, this isn't a patient. He says he's here from Colorado, and wanted to know if you could fit him in. Apparently he has a flight out in a few hours.”
Beth's heart raced and she gripped the edge of the desk.
“Is he tall and dark?”
“Tall and dark, and very yummy.” The receptionist giggled. “He's wearing cowboy boots, too.”
Blood roared in Beth's ears as her heart kicked into overdrive. She feigned a calm she was far from feeling. “Is my first patient here?”
“No, he and his wife called, and they're running about fifteen minutes late. That means you have plenty of time for Mr. Hunk.” The younger woman winked. “He's in the well-patient waiting area.”
“Uh-huh. Thank you.”
Beth touched a hand to her chignon and straightened her pink sweater and gray pencil skirt before pushing open the door. She recognized the tall build and those broad shoulders. He wore jeans and a nice gray-striped dress shirt. The sleeve of his right arm was pinned up.
Joe Gallagher.
“Joe?”
Joe turned and did a double take. “Wow. Look at you.” He walked around her. “You're even prettier than when you were in Colorado.”
“Thank you. Glad I passed inspection. You look pretty good yourself.”
“Okay to give you a hug?” he asked.
“Of course.” Beth slid her arms around his shoulders and squeezed. “I've been taking hugging lessons since I arrived.”
“What?”
“A silly joke.” She waved a hand in dismissal.
“Do you have a minute?” he asked. “I'm sorry I didn't give you any notice.”
“Sure. I have about fifteen minutes before my patient arrives. How long are you here?”
“In and out. I have a late-afternoon flight.
“That's too bad. I would have loved to show you around.” She opened the door and Joe held it as they walked through. “My office is down here.” The receptionist gave Beth a discreet thumbs-up as they passed by the front desk.
“Here. Have a seat,” Beth said.
“Nice office.”
He was right. It was a nice generic office. Tones of gray, with lots of brass fixtures. A rented pastoral painting graced the wall.
Joe walked over to the window. “That's got to be a very high-priced real estate view.”
“I'm sure it is,” Beth said with a smile.
“You're probably wondering who let me loose in the city,” he said as he turned around.
“I was.”
“This is a stopover. I'm headed to a reunion of my outfit from Afghanistan. We meet in D.C. tomorrow. Got bumped from my last flight and rerouted through New York.”
“Long day then.”
“Yeah, and you should have seen me trying to find this building. Cabbie didn't exactly speak fluent cowboy.”
She laughed. “Cultural diversity strikes again.”
“You said it, and I'm thinking I have to get out more.” Joe smiled, the effect lighting up his face.
Joe Gallagher was handsome, smart, confident and stubborn. He would certainly be a handful for some woman when the day came for him to settle down.
Beth couldn't help a little chuckle. He was exactly like Dan.
“Something funny?” Joe asked.
“No, just thinking.”
When he sat down across from her desk and crossed his legs, Beth sat down in her desk chair.
“So, how do you like it here?”
“Do you mean in here?” she said, her eyes sweeping the room. “Or out there?”
“All of the above.”
“The practice is nice and the clientele pay their bills, so I have no complaints. My hours are cushy. No hospital patients.”
“Sounds sort of underwhelming for a gal that can deliver calves.”
She laughed. “When you put it that way, I guess you're right.”
“What about the city?”
“I can now ride the subway without getting lost, and I can walk down the street like a native.”
“Well done.” He raised his hand in the air and reached across the desk to give her a high five.
“What's the status on your prosthesis?” Beth asked.
“They've got me using a temporary one several hours a day for a couple months. Then I graduate to the myeoelectric one.”
“Good news. Right?”
Joe nodded.
“Everything is okay, back home?” she asked.
“Things are great. Mom passed her stress test with an A plus. Her only homework is to keep exercising and eating right.” He met Beth's gaze. “Everyone loved that care package you sent. Including me. Thank you.”
“You're welcome.”
“Actually,” he continued, “no one knows I stopped by to see you. And I like to think maybe that rerouted plane was God's way of encouraging me to dabble in my brother's business.”
Joe grinned. It was a crooked grin, a lot like Dan's.
“Beth, my brother is crazy about you.”
“You came all the way here to tell me that?” She stiffened and glanced away. “I don't think...”
“Please, hear me out.”
“Sure, I'll give you a chance to plead his case. But you only have about ten minutes.”
“I'd better talk fast then.” Joe scooted to the edge of his seat. “Beth, Dan is a man who wouldn't want to disappoint anyone. He was trying to do the right thing by letting you go. Craziest thing I ever heard of, but it's the truth.”
“The right thing. An easy way to say âso long,' without any explanations, isn't it?”
“Let's not get off track here.” Joe put up a palm. “And please don't shoot the messenger. I've got cows back home that need me.”
She couldn't help smiling, which was exactly what he had intended.
“Dan refuses to stand between you and your plans, Beth.”
“My plans were my protection, Joe. The constant striving for my goals kept me insulated so I didn't have to deal with reality. I needed to be saved from my plans.” She sighed. “I realized that about the time I was packing my bags for the airport.”
“Maybe you should tell Dan that.”
“I tried, but he was so stubborn, so dead-set determined to get me on that plane....”
“Yeah, there is that Gallagher stubborn streak. Fortunately, it skipped me.”
She chuckled and then paused. “You know this really isn't funny.”
He rubbed his right arm. “I am aware, but for me, looking at the humorous side of things is the only way to keep from crying. Wouldn't you agree?”
“Ah, Joe, you Gallaghers are so charming. Too bad you can't bottle that charm. You'd make a fortune.”
“Thanks. I think.” He ran a hand through his hair. “There's something else you should know.”
“Yes?”
“I want you to understand what's going on with Dan. He likes to pretend he was the wayward son who found his way, but that's not exactly what happened. He was asked to come home. Dad was dying. I was still in Afghanistan, trying to get discharged. Mom was falling apart. The sisters were helping as best they could, but Dan was needed.” Joe met Beth's gaze. “It was at that low point in his life that his wife decided she couldn't handle small-town life, or marriage and motherhood, and refused to move to Paradise with him.”
Beth's eyes widened.
“Dan thinks he's over the past, but he's not quite there yet. Deep down, he's afraid you'd suffocate in Paradise and leave him, as well.”
“I'm here and he's there. How do I bridge that gap, Joe?”
“I don't know.” He shook his head. “I hadn't gotten that far in my plan.”
She released a small smile.
“I know I'm putting you on the spot....”
“No,” Beth assured him. “You aren't. But I still don't know what to do.”
“Do you love Dan?”
She nodded, her heart swelling.
“Well, then all you have to is find a way back to Paradise to convince a stubborn cowboy that you two deserve a chance.”