Love in Neverland: Book 2 in The Neverland Trilogy (20 page)

There was too much to thinking going on in her brain.  There was too much going on for her to keep up and put the puzzle together.  Something was not right with Pam’s story, and Remy wanted nothing more than to figure out what that was.  She furrowed her brow, tilted her head to the side, rubbed the bottom of her chin.  She did not think Pam was lying to her, per se, but there was something missing to this whole story.

How did she end up with James?  Was she destined for The Other World, or did she come here herself?  And if it was the latter, how was that even possible?  Who would take her from her life on earth?  Why would she go with Peter Pan and leave everything behind?  How was it possible for Pan to travel through realms?  Did anyone else know about this?  Did James know?

She clenched her jaw and shook her head.  She knew she had to tell James.  Sooner, rather than later.  But she hesitated.  The kiss stopped her.  She did not want it to come out like she was looking for an excuse to talk to him, and she could not do it so openly in public.  Pam could know nothing about it.

So she would wait to discuss it with him.  For now.

Chapter 20

Magda’s lips still tingled from the kiss.  This was not supposed to happen.  Nick loved Remy and she loved no one.  The kiss was…

Wonderful.  Blissful.  Exactly as she had always imagined a true kiss could be.  If she ever found someone she loved, she hoped he kissed her the same way Nick did.

Nick was a Breather.  If he loved her, she could get her wings back.  She could rejoin her family – her mother, Cheree, her friends.  She would be able to fly again.  She would never have to worry about her wings ever again.  Once wings were restored, they could not be taken again.

“That’s just silly,” Magda said to herself.  “Nick loves Remy.  I cannot, in good conscious, try and seduce Nick to loving me.”

Not only that, if his love for Remy is true, it wouldn’t work
, a voice told her. 
You would look like a fool, and you would be nothing more than a desperate fairy, trying to get her wings back, completely disregarding Nick’s feelings in the matter as well as your own. 
Magda’s eyes widened. 
Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Have you even considered your feelings about Nick?  Perhaps you have a good motive to try and get him to love you, and even if he did, do you love him?  Because if not, you are no better than Remy Cutler.  Nick does not deserve that.

For some reason, the thought that Nick loved Remy squeezed Magda’s heart so tightly she was surprised she was not bleeding from the various orifices of her body.  As disgusting as that sounded.  The problem was, Magda knew Nick loved Remy.  She had known from the minute she saw them together back in The Other World.  Yet, her feelings concerning that fact changed.  Before, she did not have a painful reaction.  Before, she did not care one way or the other about Remy and Nick.  She was happy with her life.  She was content sailing the seven seas, sailing through realms, at James’s side.  She had made peace long ago that she would never get her wings back, but she made a home with James.  She was happy.  She had never thought she’d be happy again, after what her mother did to her, after everything.

But she was.  She had been.

And now…

Magda could not say what she was feeling now.  It was confusing and contradictory and she could not put a name on it.  All she knew was that she did not like that Nick loved Remy.  In fact, she hated it.  But that was not something she wanted to think on.  At all.

Before she could ponder this further, a ship in the distance caught her eye.  She furrowed her brow and grabbed her spy glass in order to get a better look. It was too small to be a man-of-war but much bigger than the sailboat she and Nick were on.  The sails were white, and she was certain the ship was fast as it was small.

She did not recognize it.  Perhaps Nick might.

"Captain!"

The problem with being on a sailboat after a kiss was there was absolutely no privacy whatsoever. She could pretend to be interested in the ocean water or the horizon for as long as she needed to, but deep down, she was avoiding him and she was positive he was avoiding her.

When it was over, they had sprung apart for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one being they could not believe they had kissed. To be honest, Magda could not remember who kissed who first. It was all a blur to her, which was disappointing unto itself. It was her first official kiss and she couldn't remember the big important details. But she remembered little things Nick probably did not even notice, such as the feel of his rough hand on her soft skin, like the way his tongue tasted in her mouth, like the way she could feel her heart vibrate throughout her body completely to the point where she knew he could hear it. Like the fact that she was still shaking afterward.
 

Neither of them had spoken to each other, and Magda was certain a couple of hours had passed, at least.  He had gone to one side of the boat, she had gone to the other, and they both stood there in silence.  She had been contemplating everything.  He… Well, she did not know what he was doing.  She just knew that a bad feeling had made a home of itself in the pit of her stomach, and all she wanted to do was crawl into her cot on the
Jolly Roger
where she had a room all to herself and hide for the next few days.

Hide?
a voice said with disgust. 
You are better than that.  What happened, happened.  Now, you must face it.  There is a ship coming.  Deal with it, and with the kiss.

Magda’s lips set in a firm line and she turned to Nick, who either had not heard her or completely ignored her.  His hands were on his hips, his back still to her so she could not read his face.  It bothered Magda, the way he was handling what had happened, but she had not handled it any better, either.

They needed to get past this if they wanted to remain friends.

Yes, friends.

Nick said nothing. Instead, he raised his eyebrows. It was his way of asking what happened, why she decided to disturb his solitude. She rolled her eyes at his behavior and clenched her teeth together so hard she thought her head might explode from the pressure.

"Why are you behaving this way?" she suddenly burst out with, throwing her arms out to emphasize her point. She wanted to stop the words from spilling out of her mouth but she could not put a cork in it. She spilled out freely, like wine in a drunk's mouth. Normally, she kept quiet, internalized her frustrations so they would not affect her relationship to whomever it was that was upsetting her. The last time she had confronted someone with her emotions was her mother when she had been given to James so long ago. "Why are you suddenly so quiet? It was just a kiss, all right? It was a kiss, and nothing more. That should not affect how you treat me!"

"How could it not affect how I treat you?" Nick asked, and she could see his own temper spark.

"A kiss is more to me than just a kiss. It's something I don't take for granted."

"Oh, please," Magda said, scoffing. "I know you visit whores at every port."

"Yes, but I do not kiss them," he said with such force Magda took a step back. She blinked, not expecting that response whatsoever. "A kiss means more to me than a fuck, Magda. To me, it's much more intimate. I'm much more vulnerable. I only kiss those who are special to me."

Magda wanted to retaliate. It almost sounded as though he was insinuating she wasn't special to him. Her heart constricted at the thought, but something stopped her from acting out. The fact of the matter was, there was a good chance she was not special to him. He was in love with Remy, not her, even if she felt different about him. This was why people complained of love and heartbreak because it was the worst feeling Magda had ever experienced before. Unrequited love. She wondered if it would hurt worse if they were romantically involved only for her to lose him. Perhaps the thought was not one she even wanted to contemplate.

Magda looked back at Nick, watched his hair blow in the breeze. The overcast sky caused shadows to fall across his face, and he looked more mature than he truly was. A real man and not a boy. Her heart broke just looking at him and knowing he would never be hers. Not now, not ever. Not when his heart belonged to another.

She was about to apologize, about to tell him she should not have kissed him without thinking about the consequences or how he might feel regarding the kiss. She had been selfish - although she did not regret it, it was not worth hurting him and possibly damaging the friendship that had formed between the two of them.

Before she could, however, Nick stopped her. "What?" he asked her. His eyes had their shields up, his tone was cold as the bottom of the ocean. He was distancing himself from her again, and there was nothing she could do to change it. "You called for me. What is it that you need?"

Magda knew she could not speak any more on the kiss. It was a dropped subject, cast aside until he deemed it worthy to speak on. Which, judging by his reaction to the whole thing, would not be anytime soon. Instead, she looked to the ground, shook her head to herself, before pointing out to the horizon where the ship was much easier to see.

"A ship, captain," she said, turning her eyes back to Nick. She watched as he squinted in the distance.

"It looks like it's heading straight for us," Nick commented, and he tilted his head to the side to get a better look.

"It is," Magda agreed. She crossed her arms over her chest, relieved to be talking to him the same way she used to, before feelings got involved. "What should we do?"

Nick glanced at her before looking back at the ship. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Do we run?" Magda asked.

Nick shook his head. "Nicholas Grey does not run," he said. "Even if he is on a sailboat."

--

The Punisher was a strong ship with a black Jolly Roger that had a white skull over red wings. Canons were already at the ready as it pulled portside up to Nick's sailboat. It had three white sails that helped it catch the wind and glide across the water at a fast speed. It was not necessarily intimidating. In fact, the ship looked new, recently-built, which did not have the same feel as ships that have been used for a while, like Nick's own ship, the Black Star. Magda wondered idly for a moment if Nick named it himself or if he inherited the ship the way he inherited the position of transporter. Maybe he was able to take his ship from earth down here so he did not need to adapt to a new one.

There were only a handful of men that Magda could see, but that did not mean there weren't more hiding out belowdeck. They were all young - some even boys - but they were well-armed and prepared to fight. They wore all black with red trim. Everything was in place: their tunics were tucked in, their pants were pressed, their boots were polished. There was not a speck of dirt on their person, either. What really grabbed Magdalena's attention was the fact that their hair was combed precisely to the left. It did not matter the coarseness, the length, or the color of the hair: the style was the same. These were men Magda had never seen before. That, and she did not recognize the uniform. The mystery of it all left her unsettled, but she stood her ground and refused to cower behind Nick.

One man stepped out of the ranks.  He had dark skin and darker eyes, with curly black hair slicked to the side.  He, too, wore the uniform, but there was a weapon slung across his chest the other men did not have.  It looked like a bow, with a pouch of arrows saddled to his left shoulder.  Magda did not believe he was the captain – if he was, there was no need for him to wear the same uniform his men were in – but he ranked higher than the men.

“Nicholas Grey,” he said in a Spanish accent.  “So good to finally meet you.  I was not expecting to find you in this.  What happened to your Black Star?”  He raised a brow.

“That is none of your business,” Nick said, and all boyish charm had vanished. 

He looked ready for a fight, with his fingers curled into fists, his body angled and his right foot positioned in front of his left.  It almost looked as though he was ready to throw a punch, and Magda hoped he would not.  They needed to keep their wits about them, and fighting was not doing so.  They were already outnumbered, and besides the cutlass that hung from her hip, Magda had no other weapons on her person.  She was not prepared for a fight in the slightest.

“Ah, but it is,” the man said, with an amused twinkle in his dark eyes.  “You see, you’re worth quite a lot, if you did not know.  And it would behoove my financial accounts should I decide to cash in on you.”  His smirk only deepened when he caught sight of Magda.  His eyes studied her thoroughly though he did not seem lecherous by it.  “You must be Magdalena.”

Magda clenched her jaw, preventing her from saying anything at all.  The best course of action for her would be to keep her mouth shut and her ears open.

The man’s grin deepened.  “You will be worth just as much as Nicholas Grey, I’m sure,” he said, “when I ransom you back to Hook.  You are his right hand, after all, since he lost his left.”  He and his men laughed at his joke.  “Come, come.”  He waved them over with his hand.  “The captain wants all guests taken to the brig.  I’ll even let you share a cell as long as you don’t run or try to put up a fight.  It’s hell cleaning these uniforms.  What say you?”

Magda wanted to tell him to jump off his ship.  She wanted to jump across the small distance between the two boats and stab him straight through his gut, steal his ship, and sail to wherever Nick wanted to sail.  Instead, she cast her eyes at Nick, waiting for his direction.