Love in London (Restless Hearts) (8 page)

Dexter and I had effectively switched roles. It was my turn to be the crazy phone stalker, leaving rambling messages.

“Put down the phone.” Cessy had been quietly observing me for days, but she had finally reached her breaking point. “You are pathetic.”

“I know!” I threw myself down on the couch with a dramatic flair. “But I can’t help it. I was such an idiot and now Dexter won’t even answer my calls. How am I supposed to grovel if he won’t even talk to me?”

“James ladies do not grovel.” Cessy thumped my forehead painfully with her finger. “Get dressed. We are going out.”

When Cessy was ready to party, there was no talking her out of it. One of her coworkers had invited her to fancy fundraiser and it was all she had talked about for the last week. Apparently celebrities and royalty would be in attendance. Somehow, she’d managed to score me an invite as well.

When we got to the gallery where the event was being held, I was glad that I had allowed Cessy to choose my wardrobe. I would’ve settled for a boring black dress, but my cousin had dug a sapphire ball gown from the back of her closet. It was form-fitting, with a low neckline and a thigh-high slit. I was a little uncomfortable showing that much skin, but Cessy insisted I looked amazing.

A few heads swiveled when we entered the gallery, but that was probably because Cessy looked like a movie star in her red gown.

“Let me know if you see a prince. Preferably the wild one.” She winked and pointed across the room. “I need to use the loo.”

I was dumbfounded to find myself alone in a crowd just five minutes after arriving at the party. The first thing I did was snag a glass of wine. I then spent the next hour forcing polite small talk with strangers and dodging handsy old men looking for a trophy wife.

A winding staircase led to the second floor and from there, I was able to step outside onto a balcony. It was a chilly night and the balcony was mostly empty. Two couples lingered near the door and I excused myself as I stepped around them and headed to the far corner.

I thought that I would be alone, but when I got closer I noticed that a man was partially hidden in the shadows. He turned when he heard my heels on the concrete, but I didn’t have to see his face to know that the man was Dexter.

“Taylor.” His eyes lit up and the smile came before he could remember that he wasn’t happy with me.

“Hi, Dex.” I eyed him wearily, waiting for his eyes to turn cold. “Surprise.”

“Indeed.” His smile grew bigger. “A pleasant one.”

I ducked my head shyly. “That isn’t the reaction I expected.”

“Well, I would’ve gone for something more scandalous, but we’re in polite company.” He nodded toward the couples behind me. “One quick snog with you and our picture ends up on the page of a gossip mag tomorrow.”

“I’m surprised you would want to snog me at all since you won’t even return my calls.” Even if he had been justified, I was still hurt. “Did you at least listen to the messages I left?”

“Every one of them.” He laughed. “I didn’t know my phone could hold that many messages.”

“It wasn’t
that
many,” I protested, silently trying to count them. “Four? Five?”

“Eight.”

I winced. “I may have a problem.”

A breeze rustled the air and I hugged my arms around my body to keep warm. The balcony door opened and a wave of laughter filled the air.

“I spoke with Laurel,” Dexter said.

“Which means you know I’m an idiot.”

“Don’t worry. I already had my suspicions.” He quickly unbuttoned his suit jacket and slipped it off. “Put this on. I’m getting cold just looking at you.”

“Not exactly the effect I was going for.” I turned and stepped into the jacket’s warmth as he settled it onto my shoulders. “Thanks though.”

His hands rested on my shoulders for just a second and then he shoved them into his pockets. “I’m sorry I wasn’t clear about the pregnancy. Laurel really wanted to keep things quiet about Bill and it’s almost just easier to let people think I’m the father.”

“I’m not people, Dex.” I was having a hard time concentrating with the smell of his cologne intoxicating me. “At least, I thought I was more important.”

“You are,” he said without thinking. “I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you with the truth. That was stupid.”

I sighed. “You don’t owe me an apology. I owe you one. When I saw you going to Laurel’s that night, I jumped to conclusions. I could’ve just asked you about it like an adult and given you a chance to explain. But I think part of me wanted you to be doing something wrong so that I would have a legitimate reason to push you away.”

“That’s pretty messed up,” he said with a sly smile. “It’s a good thing I like my women emotionally damaged.”

“You still like me?” I asked, batting my eyelashes at him in a tease.

“As if it would be possible to know you and not like you.” He grinned. “Plus, there was that moment we had hundreds of feet above London.”

I returned his smile. “I liked that moment, too.”

“I know. You couldn’t keep your hands off of me.” He took a step closer.

“Your memory is a little… wrong.” I gave him my best flirty look.

Dexter responded by reaching for my hand. Just as his fingers threaded through mine and our bodies moved closer, his phone rang.

“Your phone has the worst timing,” I said, sounding somewhat breathless.

He squeezed my hand and looked at his phone. “I really need to take this, Taylor.”

“Of course.” I tried not to sound annoyed, but I had really been looking forward to a second kiss. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

We were alone on the balcony now. The balcony was large enough that when I walked to the opposite end, I could only hear Dexter’s muffled voice. I hugged his jacket around me and leaned over the railing, looking straight down. A flurry of flashing camera lights and yelling meant that someone important had arrived. I strained hard to see who was climbing out of the limo.

“Don’t jump!” Dexter said in mock alarm as his hand closed over my elbow.

“You’re paranoid. Do women usually go to such extremes to get away from you?” I gestured over the balcony. “Someone even more important than you has just arrived.”

Dexter glanced down. “Meh. Kane Thomas isn’t that cool.”

“Kane Thomas? Not
the
Kane Thomas?” I had spoken with Scottie just a few days earlier and she had mentioned meeting the Irish singer at a local pub. Our call had been cut short when my battery died so I hadn’t been able to get the details. It was strange that he was now at the same party as me.

“Oh, please.” His eyes flashed with annoyance. “Don’t tell me you’ve got his poster hanging on your wall.”

“On my ceiling actually. His face is the first thing I see when I wake up.” I delivered the line with too much seriousness because Dexter gave me a disgusted look. “I’m kidding, Dex.”

“Sure you are.”

“I don’t have a poster of Kane Thomas. I have a few of his songs on my iPod. That’s it.” I poked him in the side, which was a lot like poking a brick wall. “Don’t be jealous.”

“You’re the one that was drooling over the balcony.”

“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that easily impressed by famous people.”

“You were pretty easily impressed by me,” he said smugly. “And you haven’t even seen all of my skills yet.”

I laughed. “Arrogance seems to be one of those skills.”

Dexter’s smile faded away. “I really wish I could do this all night, but-”

“But you have to go,” I finished for him. “I figured as much.”

“I’m really sorry, Taylor. Things are just really crazy at work right now. It will settle down soon, but until then I need to be available to take care of the craziness.”

I tried my best not to look bummed. “I understand. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” He took my hands in his. “But I’ll make it up to you. I’ll plan an entire weekend just for the two of us and I’ll leave my phone off.”

“You don’t have to do that, Dex.”

“I want to. I want to spend time with you and get to know you better.” He grimaced. “And hopefully once you get to know me better you won’t be scared away.”

I laughed softly. “No promises.”

“Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow and we will figure something out.” He leaned down to kiss me, his lips deliciously warm. I had a very hard time not throwing myself on him. “Be good tonight. Stay away from Kane Thomas.”

“He’s got nothing on you, Dexter Sanders.” I kissed him again and then pushed him gently away. “Go.”

“Good night, Taylor.”

“Good night, Dex.” I didn’t like watching him leave, but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Each step was so purposeful and confident that you just knew you were watching a man that knew exactly what he wanted in life. I couldn’t help but wonder about those skills he had mentioned.

* * *

October 30

It’s been three weeks since the party, and I haven’t seen Dexter once. Sure, we’ve been talking on the phone and texting non-stop. Sometimes we talk for hours. I feel like I’ve known Dex forever, so it’s strange that I never see him. Every time we make plans, something comes up and I end up sitting at home alone eating pints of ice cream and watching the telly. Hopefully your nights aren’t as pathetic as mine. Are you still snogging that devilish young man you mentioned when we talked? I’m sure he’s completely under your thrall.

I miss you and the rest of the girls. I’ve been talking to Scottie about visiting her in Ireland. That should be a good time, but it would be better if everyone could go. Any chance you’ve got a few hundred bucks lying around for a plane ticket? Please say yes. I miss your face.

Okay, back to the Footballers’ Wives marathon. There’s a bottle of wine in the kitchen with my name on it.

I’ll catch up with you when I get back from my family weekend in the countryside. We’ll see if my father’s family really does put the fun in dysfunctional. Later, chica.

It took two hours on a train to get to Kinnerley. Cessy convinced me to skip my Friday classes so we could have a long weekend on the family estate. When she had used those words, I thought she was just being funny. But it turned out that her parents owned a large plot of land covered in quaint cottages.

Uncle Hugh met us at the station and loaded our bags into the car. Even though we would only be staying two nights Cessy had packed three bags. She said that she needed to have an outfit ready for all possible scenarios.

The James Estate was just five minutes from the train station, set far back from the main road. The main house held a large sign that happily welcomed us.

“Cessy, darling, give your cousin a tour of the estate, won’t you? I will take care of the luggage.”

The air was fresh and smelled of flowers. Rain misted the air, but the sky was clearing in the distance. It was going to be a nice autumn day.

“What’s the deal here? Is this like a bed and breakfast situation?” From where we stood, I could see six different cottages in the distance.

“They filmed
Love May Be
just down the road. My parents decided to capitalize on the influx of tourists by setting up the cottages and renting them at a markup.” Cessy grinned. “It paid for my university.”

“This land is beautiful.” I followed her down the path. “I can see why people would want to stay here, but why does it look empty?”

“Hugh and Penny reserved this whole weekend so the family can stay in the cottages.” Cessy made a pained face. “We get to spend three days and two nights surrounded by our relation. Woo hoo.”

I laughed uncertainly. “They can’t be that bad.”

“Humph.” Cessy pointed to the first cottage. “I’ll have Hugh set you up in this cottage. It has the nicest mattress and a new coffee maker.”

“But does it have the booze?”

“Stick with me,” Cessy said with a wink.

That was pretty much a given since we were in the middle of nowhere. Cessy and I spent some time with Aunt Penny making lunch. We split a bottle of wine over roast lamb and green beans. It was a heavy meal and mixing it with wine meant that I was half-asleep before the pudding hit the table.

Hugh helped me carry my bag to the nearest cottage so I could squeeze in a nap before the rest of the family arrived. The cottage was essential a one-room structure. One side housed a soft looking bed and a charming seating area. The opposite side near the door had a small kitchen and the final corner was an even smaller bathroom. It was perfect.

I bounced on the bed a few times and found myself smiling. Here I was, sitting in my aunt and uncle’s cottage in England, just hours away from meeting my extended family. I was also tipsy.

The room was starting to spin when I lay back on the bed. I had thought that I would be able to fall asleep right away. But now that I was nestled comfortably in bed, my mind was starting to race. Being with my father’s family was bringing back painful memories. It had been a few years since his death, but it still felt raw. I had been close to him and now I had a chance to become close with his family. I just hoped I was ready to face feelings that I had been burying since his death.

Sleep finally came nearly an hour later. I awoke feeling refreshed with no trace of a hangover. Apparently the fresh air and home cooked food were just what I needed. When I checked my phone, I had a missed call from Dexter.

His message was the same as they always were- he was super busy at work and was sad that he couldn’t see me. He said that he thought he might be able to get away from work in a few days and then we would finally be able to spend some time together. Even though it wasn’t a super promising message, I still hung up with a smile on my face.

I quickly fired off a text to him- I miss you, too.

When I tapped out of the message, I noticed the day’s date. November 4. I only had a month remaining until I would be returning to Chicago. That didn’t feel like nearly enough time. I had come to London to find myself, and instead I was more lost than ever. Maybe finally meeting the family would help get me on the right path.

The first cars started to arrive in early evening, just as it was beginning to get dark. I sat in an old chair on the cottage porch and watched the parade of English James family members greet each other. They were loud, just like the American version of them- me and Payton.

The lights along the path flipped on, illuminating the cottages in a soft glow. I felt like I was in the middle of a Jane Austin novel. If only my Mr. Darcy would show up. Preferably on a white horse. Shirtless.

Another car kicked up dirt on the road leading to the main house. I expected it to be yet another unknown aunt or uncle. Maybe a distant cousin. But as the car got closer, I realized that I had seen it before. I had even been in the car.

When Dexter stepped out, I blinked hard to clear my vision. Surely I was hallucinating. This kind of thing never happened in real life. But after rubbing my eyes, he was still there, looking more handsome than ever in his tailored gray dress pants and perfect-fitting sweater. He looked like a model from an autumn clothing catalogue.

I reached for my phone. Dexter answered on the first ring, a smile on his face as answered.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“Dex. What are you up to?” I watched him lean against his car, looking relaxed and happy. He still hadn’t spotted me.

“Just the usual work stuff. How’s your trip so far?”

I grinned at his attempt to sound casual. “It’s alright. It would be better if you were here with me.”

“You’re right. I’m awesome.” He kicked his foot in the dirt and looked up at the main house. “Who knows, maybe I’ll show up on your doorstep.”

“Oh?” I stood and crept down the porch stairs. He was still looking at the house, away from me. “What about work?”

“I could probably get away for a few hours.”

“We’ll need more time than that, won’t we?” I teased quietly. “You did mention something about impressive skills…”

Dexter chuckled softly. “I can’t reveal them all at once. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“Challenge accepted.” I was getting close enough now that he would be able to hear me soon. “Why don’t you come out to Kinnerley and prove it to me.”

“Your entire family is there,” he reminded me. “If I show up, people are going to assume this is a serious relationship. You’re sure you want that?”

I was only a few yards away and my heart started to race now that I was so close to him. Slowly, I lowered the phone and said, “I’m sure.”

His head whipped around. When he saw me standing just a few feet from him, his smile grew and his eyes sparkled. “Beautiful
and
clever. I’m a lucky man.”

“Yes, you are.” I rocked on my feet, channeling a rush of energy.

“What are you waiting for? Get over here.”

That was the only encouragement I needed. I closed the last few steps between us, rushing into his waiting arms. Our bodies melded together instinctively, lips pressing urgently. His arms were strong around me, holding me tenderly.

Our reunion was cut short when Aunt Penny spotted us from the window. She demanded that I come inside to meet everyone and introduce Dexter.

“I apologize in advance for whatever happens in there.” I eyed the house with dread. Meeting the family all at once had seemed like a good idea when it was just me. But now that Dexter was involved, I wished we could ease into it.

“It’s going to be fine. I make an excellent first impression.” Dexter took my hand and pulled me forward.

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” I said glumly.

The second we cracked open the front door we were greeted by loud voices. It seemed that a hundred people were crammed inside the house.

“Taylor!” Cessy appeared from the masses. “I didn’t know we were supposed to bring a handsome man to the party.”

“I didn’t bring him. He just showed up. I think he might be stalking me.”

“A guy’s gotta have a hobby,” he said squeezing my hand. “If you’d like, I can let you face all of this alone.”

“No.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want you to think I’m a crazy stalker…”

I gripped his hand tighter. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

Aunt Penny spotted us from across the room and hustled over. “Taylor, darling. Bring your gentleman caller and come meet the family.”

My father had been the middle child in a family of five. That meant that in addition to four sets of aunts and uncles, I also had ten cousins ranging in age from thirty all the way down to six. Throw in the older cousins’ spouses and children and almost thirty people introduced themselves to me in the span of five minutes.

It was like being tossed into a clothes dryer and being whipped around on high speed. The only names that I was able to remember were the ones I had already known- Penny, Hugh, and Cessy. My father’s other brother, Charles, also stuck with me. He was just a year younger than my father and could’ve passed for his twin. When I first saw him, it almost took my breath away.

“I’m sorry,” I said after staring at him for an uncomfortably long time. “You look just like my father.”

His eyes were kind, but sad. “I get that all the time.”

“He used to talk about you a lot. The two of you were good friends growing up, yes?” I had heard so many stories about Uncle Charlie that I felt like he had always been part of my life.

“More than friends. Wills was my bloody hero. I wanted to be just like him.” Charles shook his head in wonder. “I still can’t seem to believe that he is gone.”

“Take my word for it,” I said darkly.

His face was just as haunted as mine as we were both thinking about the suicide. I had so many questions about my father, but I suddenly couldn’t make myself speak. I just wanted to be alone.

I found an empty bedroom upstairs and flopped onto the bed. The slanted ceiling had a large skylight and I could see stars beginning to light up the night sky.

“I can’t believe you left me down there,” Dexter’s voice said from the doorway.

“You were busy making friends.”

It was true- my family had taken to him instantly. His charm could not be resisted, especially by my aunts and female cousins.

The bed moved as Dexter joined me. Lying shoulder to shoulder, we stared at the sky. I could tell that he had something he wanted to say.

“Someone told you, didn’t they?”

His arm pressed harder against mine as he turned to me. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were the one that found your father’s body?”

“That’s not the type of information I usually share with people I hardly know.”

“Nice try. If this were still our first date, I would let it slide. But after this last month, all those long talks we had? You never thought to mention it?”

“I don’t like to talk about it. Or even think about it, for that matter.” I had only ever talked about it with two people- the psychiatrist my mother had made me see for two months afterward and Payton. As far as I was concerned, it wasn’t anyone else’s business. “That was the worst day of my life, Dex. I just want to forget about it.”

He let out a low breath. “You know that’s never going to happen, right?”

It had taken almost six months for me to stop having nightmares about it. Another year before I could watch movies that involved guns and shooting. That’s what had made my mother’s marriage to Rick so painful. She had clearly been able to forget and move on while I was trapped in the nightmare.

“When Dad found out about Rick, he went crazy. Literally. Rick had been his best friend for years, so it was the ultimate betrayal. Dad couldn’t stand to be around Mom so he got an apartment downtown. When I found out that he moved out, I packed a bag and announced that I was going to live with him.”

I remembered clearly how Mom had looked at me sadly, but had allowed me to leave. She had said that she thought it might be for the best. Her cavalier approach to it had stung. Payton had cried when I left, convinced that our family was broken forever. She hadn’t been wrong.

Dad had left us a key to his place so I hadn’t needed to call him to let me in. The second I opened the door, I knew something was wrong. I could smell the blood and feel the death. I found his body on the floor next to his bed, blood and brain matter on wall. The room started to spin and I promptly vomited at his feet.

Somehow, I had managed to call 911. They sent an ambulance even though I had told them he was already dead. When they asked me if I needed to call anyone, I panicked. I couldn’t imagine telling Payton something so horrible over the phone, and I hated my mother too much right then. Then I thought of Rick, and laughed at the irony of calling him while standing over Dad’s dead body. But that’s exactly what I did. I knew that he would take care of Mom and Payton.

“I didn’t speak to my mother for two weeks after. I couldn’t even look at her.” I managed to tell Dexter the entire story without breaking down. It felt like I was relaying the script to a movie rather than talking about the darkest day from my past. “I still haven’t forgiven her and I’m not sure I ever will.”