Love in a Fix (12 page)

“Depends. What changes are you talking about?” He stared at her intently as if trying to keep up with her bouncing topics until she reached the final answer.

“We agreed part of the reason we’d be a good match is because neither of us would expect love from the other since we had none left to give.” The last words came out in a strangled cry. Oh, how she prayed she hadn’t read their situation incorrectly.

Shep shifted his body until he sat in front of her, not beside her. One hand gently brushed her cheek. “That was the dumbest thing we ever said. Those who have loved deeply and experienced the crushing pain of its loss can’t turn off that part of them that gives their all to another person because they know too well the beauty of true love and its life-affirming power. To deny that is foolish.”

Her breathing hitched in her lungs. “I…I…I lo…” She couldn’t do it. Why wouldn’t the words come out?

“I know, Lyndsey.” He leaned his forehead against hers.

His constant patience bolstered her courage to finish. “I thought I could have a full marriage without love, based only on great affection, but I couldn’t. Love has to be part of the equation for me.”

“Me too, only I didn’t realize that until my love for you opened my heart.” His voice dropped low and husky.

“Can we start fresh, let this weekend be the beginning of forever?”

He didn’t hesitate a bit. “Yes.”

Could she finally say the words she’d kept close to her heart? Since she was eight, she’d only said the words to two people— Josh and Mark. She opened her mouth, then clamped her jaw.
You love Shep. He’s your husband and a good man who deserves to hear you tell him
. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. For a while now, but do you know when I knew for certain? That day—“

“In the attic,” she finished.

“How’d you know?” He jerked his head backward in a surprised motion.

“Because that’s also when I knew. You’ve been in my life for so long that I took your presence for granted, but when we read that verse, it clicked. Every trial and obstacle we’ve been through was another step down a path to bring us together.”

“Merry Christmas, love.” Shep lowered his head, ending their evening with a kiss full of promise for their future.

After a leisurely Saturday morning and lunch, Shep and Lyndsey left their secluded cabin outside Quilted Pines and walked to town. Compacted snow and dead leaves crunched under their feet. In a nearby tree a northern cardinal sang.

“I wonder where he is?” Lyndsey craned her neck to see the treetops.

“Up there.” Shep pointed to a pine shorter than its surrounding counterparts. “Did you know in most North American bird species, it’s the male who sings?”

“No, I didn’t. Is it a mating call?”

“I don’t know that much. If I were a bird, I’d sing for you, to tell you how much I love you.” He winced.
Man, that sounded cheesy once I said it.

If Lyndsey thought so, she didn’t let it show. She squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. “I’d sing one for you in return if you don’t mind it being off-key.”

He couldn’t stop his laughter. Even if she did sing out of tune—which she did, but he’d not admit the fact—he’d think her voice beautiful. It was that crazy little thing called love. “You can sing for me any time you’d like.”

She laughed as well. “I heard your hesitation.”

“Never.” Winking, he chuckled some more.

Standing closer to him, her arm laid over his as they walked. “This is nice, having this time alone.”

“Thanks for making the arrangements.” He smiled again, unable to stop if he tried. “Best Christmas present I’ve ever got.”

“I should have thought that through.” Shaking her head, she asked with a grin, “How will I top it next year?”

“Hmm. I have my health and everything material I could need. I have a gorgeous wife, whom I adore, and a son I already miss.” As he said each item, he counted off on a finger. “Maybe a daughter?”

“Lord willing, I’d like that. Or another son even.” She glanced down at her stomach and blushed. “Maybe there’s one already on the way.”

Could they be so blessed? “I’d love any baby we have, boy or girl.”

They crossed a final line of trees and a grouping of businesses came into view. A popular vacation spot in summer and quiet retreat in winter, the village of Quilted Pines was situated off the beaten path and deep in the heart of rural Pennsylvania. It boasted a line of small shops and restaurants along Gulliver Lake and was known for its small-town cozy atmosphere.

He held firmly to her as they navigated a steep embankment leading to the sidewalk. “Where to first?”

“I read online about a candle store that hand crafts every product in the store. Would you mind if we stopped there?”

“Whatever you want.”

They exchanged the secret smile of newlyweds. He felt a decade younger and didn’t care if they came off saccharine sweet. After all the heartaches he and Lyndsey had experienced in life, they deserved to bask in their newfound love. This weekend’s purpose was to celebrate them as a couple and their marriage.

A peddler had a stand set up at the beginning of a cobblestone street. As they approached, he held out a vibrant red rose. “A flower for the lady, sir?”

“I’ll take three.” He handed the man a twenty-dollar bill and accepted the roses. Once they’d walked a half dozen feet, he stopped and gave them to Lyndsey. “One is for the past, to remind us where we’ve been. The second is for today that we always cherish the present. The last one is for our future and all the memories we’ve yet to make.”

Holding them to her nose, she inhaled their sweet fragrance. “Thank you.”

A sign caught his eye, and he pointed down the street. “I think that’s your store.”

By late afternoon, they’d thoroughly investigated all the stores and had several bags of wares to take home.

“One more stop for today, but we can drop these off at the cabin first,” he told her after leaving the gourmet coffee and tea shop. “I made dinner reservations for us at Gulliver’s Lodge.”

Her face beamed. “How’d you do that? I called when I first made our reservations at the cabin and they were booked.”

“I told them it was our honeymoon and this would make your day.” He cast her a wink. “Plus I left my number in case they had any cancellations and they called with an opening while you were in the knickknack shop.”

She rewarded him with a long hug and kiss. “I love you.”

They left town and followed the path to their cabin. The winter sun set early, casting amber hues over the earth and through the pine branches. Their cardinal from earlier had left or went quiet. The forest was a tranquil retreat from the world, their private oasis.

After dropping off their bags and changing into appropriate dress for the restaurant—black dress pants and a royal blue shirt for him and a sapphire blue cocktail dress for Lyndsey—they returned to town, this time using the main road and driving. With nightfall and dropping temperatures, the truck made a better mode of transportation than feet.

At the restaurant, he escorted his bride to the door. They didn’t have to wait for their reservation and a twenty-something woman with her hair in a bun led them to their table.

Once alone, they had time to observe their surroundings.

“The view is breathtaking.” Lyndsey’s gaze focused on the landscape out the window by which they’d been seated.

“I agree.” His eyes rested on her and his response had nothing to do with the pale silver moonlight dancing on the waters of Gulliver Lake.

Her eyes shifted to him, a flush appearing when she must have realized he stared at her. “I’m so happy, Shep. Pinch me and tell me this is real, that I won’t wake up and find it all a dream.”

Reaching over the table, his hand found hers, wove their fingers until they were locked in a tight grasp. It was a rare time today they didn’t have a form of contact. “This is love, pure and true and good.” He squeezed her hand. “It doesn’t get more real than this.”

Lyndsey sat at her work desk, checking her watch for the fifth time that hour. She covered the yawn forcing its way out and refocused her eyes on the computer screen. The report reflecting new safety data for her boss wouldn’t compile itself, but she could only think about going home and curling up in bed.

All the changes in her life since fall made concentrating on work hard enough, but toss in a lack of sleep for the last two weeks and focus became nearly impossible. After Christmas and their impromptu honeymoon, they’d had three weeks of married bliss before the stomach bug hit their house.

Josh came down sick first. The preschool called her at noon on a Tuesday to pick him up, and she’d had to stay home with him all week, missing her three shifts at the office. Just when they thought the germs had left, Shep took ill. The virus hit him hard, but her stubborn husband insisted on working. By day three, he couldn’t get out of bed and had no choice but to stay home.  During a tense weekend, she’d been worried he’d end up in the hospital for dehydration.

This week her boys were the pictures of health again, but it didn’t look like she’d be spared. Two nights in a row she’d tossed and turned, unable to sleep, and she’d spent the majority of her lunch hour in the bathroom.

Her phone pinged, and she checked the messages. A text from Shep.

—Picked Josh up from preschool on my way home and he’s helping me make your favorite vegetable soup for dinner.

Typing with her thumbs, she sent a reply.
—You’re the best. Thank you. Xoxo.

She smiled through her exhaustion, vowing to eat the soup no matter how much her stomach revolted. Even in sickness, life as Shep’s wife was fulfilling and amazing. Everyday brought new adventure in learning different facets of him and falling deeper in love. She shuddered to think of all she’d have missed out on if she’d ignored the nudge to marry him.

“Knock, knock.” Raymond Aguilar, her boss, stood at her open door. “How are those reports coming along?”

“They’ll be finished by the time I leave.”
One way or another.

“Can you spare ten minutes for a meeting in my office?” 

Not really.
“Yes, sir.”

“Come see me at four forty-five. If you have the reports finished then, would you mind printing a copy and bringing them with you?”

“Not a problem.”

“Thanks, Lyndsey. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He left in a whirl of high dollar cologne.

What’s that about?
Mr. Aguilar rarely left his office to travel around the building, preferring to send instant messages via the company’s private server, or picking up the phone. The last time she remembered him personally requesting a meeting was when her hours had been cut to part time. Would she be laid off this time? Or fired for all the time missed?

Everything she’d done wrong in the last several months plagued her with doubts. By her own admission, she’d not been the stellar employee she’d always prided herself on being. She’d missed the days of work to take care of Josh, and she hadn’t streamlined her focus. Plus, she’d been tardy on her first days back after moving in to Shep’s house. The route to work was different, and she hadn’t realized the traffic crept along at a snail’s pace. Still, she accomplished all tasks given to her within the time frame, even when she’d had to stay late without pay.

Realigning her attention, she stared at the computer and gathered her wits. She entered data into the corresponding fields then ran the functions which shot out the results of the study. The pointer arrow on the screen spun in a circle, and when it stopped, Lyndsey had a completed report. She clicked the print key and skimmed the paper the printer ejected.

Everything looked good, the numbers were what she’d thought. She saved the file and emailed a copy to Mr. Aguilar and herself. Just in time. She had two minutes to walk to her boss’s office.

After slipping on her shoes, she tucked her phone into the top desk drawer, then went straight to her meeting with Mr. Aguilar.

“Come in, Mrs. Allen.” He set aside the paper in his hand.

“Mrs. Patterson,” she corrected kindly. “I remarried in November.”

“My apologies, Mrs. Patterson. I knew that, but the name change slipped my mind.” He gestured to an industrial style leather chair. “Have a seat.”

She obliged and sat after setting the reports on his desk. She crossed her ankles, laid her hands in her lap. “What can I do for you, sir?”

Mr. Aguilar rested his elbows on the desk’s edge and steepled his hands. “Fourth quarter of last year experienced a record growth. We’re on track this quarter to match that growth, if not exceed that number.”

“That’s great news I’m happy to hear it.”

“Do you know what that means?” Mr. Aguilar gave her a toothy grin, a rarity from her boss who was firm and fair, but not given to smiles and laughter.

“More work will come in?”

“Yes, and I’d like you to come back full-time with all benefits reinstated.”

Her heart dropped. Three months ago, she’d have been ecstatic and called it an answer to prayer. Currently, the idea less than enthralled her. Since Shep worked on Saturdays, they’d enjoyed having that extra day off during the week to spend together. If she went back to full time, her new work schedule would affect all their lives.

Lack of money wasn’t an issue—Shep was generous with his earnings and considered it both of theirs, even adding her name to his bank account. However, she did enjoy earning money of on her own. She didn’t want to think about it, but if something happened to Shep, she never wanted to be put in a financial bind again. Even then, unlike Mark, Shep had life insurance if something were to happen.

“No.” She shook her head, unwilling to think about such a possibility. Fear was a darkness she couldn’t enter. Christ was her light, and in him she would stay.

“I’m sorry, did you say no?” Mr. Aguillar stared at her with disbelieving eyes.

She’d spoken aloud without realizing it, a habit she’d picked up recently. “I can’t give you an answer right now, sir. This is a decision I’ll have to discuss with my husband.”

An approving smirk curled one corner of Mr. Aguilar’s mouth. “I must say I’m surprised, Mrs. Patterson. The other employees have accepted without so much as a thought to their significant other. As much as I’d like for you to return full time, I am refreshed to see an employee give that regard to their spouse.”

“The decision affects him as well.”

“Yes, it does, and it’s a wise person who knows that.” He licked his lips as if uncomfortable. “Please know that I truly regret any hardships the transition to part-time caused for you. I don’t always show my appreciation well, but I care for my employees and their wellbeing.”

“There were difficult times,” she answered honestly, “but because of those times, I married a wonderful man, so I should thank you.”

A sound akin to a chortle erupted from Mr. Aguilar—she’d never before heard him laugh and couldn’t be sure. “I’m glad it worked out well for you. Truly, I am.”

“Was there anything else, sir?”

“That was it. Please let me know when you’ve made your decision.”

She began to rise from the chair, but paused with her hands on the arms. “If I wish to stay part-time, will that affect my employment?”

“No, ma’am. You’re a good worker, and I’ll be happy to keep you part time.” He nodded toward the door. “Have a good day. I’m sure you’re eager to get home.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you Monday.”

Upon returning to her office, she shut down her computer and grabbed her purse. On her way out the door, a dizzy spell struck and she walked back to her desk, keeping a hand pressed against the wall for support as she went.

She hadn’t been sick in ages, but with the strength of the virus and the exposure she’d had, it was no surprise she’d taken ill. The spell passed in five minutes, and she hurried to her car before another could strike.

Tiny snowflakes floated from the gray sky and a thin veil of precipitation covered her car.
Between the sickness and the weather, please let me get home safely.
The short prayer settled her as she drove home, an uneventful trip in which she didn’t even get stopped at a traffic light.

“Thank you, Lord,” she prayed out loud when she steered into the driveway.

After she pushed the remote mechanism in her car, the garage door opened. One half of the two-car space stored their excess from combining households which they’d weed through come spring, and she parked in the cleared-out half. The air was chilly, but twenty degrees warmer than outside.

Inside the house, Shep had a fire roaring in the living room, and its heat filled the first floor of the house. Lyndsey followed her nose to the kitchen, surprisingly hungry after feeling sick most of the day. Maybe she’d be spared the brunt of the stomach bug.

She didn’t see her son or husband, but spotted a flash of color through the kitchen window. Upon investigation, she saw Shep and Josh running through the backyard.

Reluctant to abandon the toasty comfort of the house, she left the kitchen and stood at the back door. “Did I miss all the fun?”

Shep shook his head. “Come join us.”

“We’re catching snowflakes.” Josh tilted his head ninety degrees and stuck out his tongue.

She laughed and snapped a quick picture of him with her phone. “I’ll stay where it’s warm.”

“We’ll come in, too.” Shep came to her side and gave her a kiss.

“Eww. You guys kiss a lot.” Josh scrunched his nose and pushed past them, dropping his coat on the floor.

“Pick your coat up, Josh.” Shep raised his brows, pointedly looking at the discarded jacket. “Put it on the hook where it belongs.”

Lyndsey bit her tongue. She wasn’t going to say anything and would have gone behind Josh to pick it up, but Shep believed in teaching children responsibilities at a young age. She did as well, except she’d been lax with Josh during his toddler years. To compensate for the loss of his father, she’d allowed him to get away with more than she should have. Since he was a great kid, well-behaved most of the time when factoring in his age, she hadn’t given much thought to the consequences.

Josh gave Shep a defiant stare, but did as asked. “Can I play with my toys now?”

“For a few minutes, but we’ll be eating soon.” Lyndsey tapped his shoulder. “Where’s my hug?”

“Right here.” The scowl left his face, and he squeezed her snugly. “Love you, Mommy.”

“Love you too.”

He bolted in the directions of the stairs.

“Dinner smells good.” She kicked off her shoes, then pushed them under the bench by the door. “Thanks for taking care of it.”

“Don’t thank me until you’ve tried it.” Shep laughed and started toward the kitchen. “I picked up a loaf of French bread at the store. Once that’s heated, dinner will be ready.”

Too tired to offer assistance, she sat on a bar stool. “Were you able to fix the Jensens’ heating unit?”

Nodding, Shep placed the loaf on a cookie sheet and stuck it in the oven. “It was an easier fix than I realized, and then we talked about their spring kitchen remodel.” Concerned eyes peered at her. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Not really. My stomach’s been upset on and off all day and I had a dizzy spell right before I left the office.” Even a sigh became too much effort.

“Sounds exactly like what Josh and I had.” Nonetheless, a frown marred his face. “If you want to go upstairs and rest, I’ll bring dinner to you, if you feel like eating.”

“I’ll be fine here. For now, my stomach’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” His teeth grazed his bottom lip and wrinkles deepened on the side of his eyes. “Maybe you should go to the doctor, just in case. There are several strains of bugs going around, some more severe than others.”

His overblown concern over something so obvious grated on her, but she acknowledged that her tiredness played a large role in her irritability, along with the fact that she was unaccustomed to being fussed over. Then she remembered Miranda’s early symptom were those that mimicked the flu, and Lyndsey imagined Shep was fighting a battle she couldn’t see.

“If it gets any worse, I’ll make an appointment.” Mustering energy, she offered a smile. “I have news.”

“Good or bad?”

“Depends. Mr. Aguilar asked me back to full-time.” She watched Shep closely for his reaction, but his face remained neutral.

“Congratulations.” He divvied the soup into two large china bowls and a single, smaller plastic one. “Where does ‘depends’ come into play?”

“Have you ever prayed for something and then when it happens, you realize it’s not what you wanted?” After he nodded, she continued. “If I went back full time, we’d hardly see each other because of our schedules.”

“We’ll make the time.”

“What about Josh? Next year he’ll go to school. Do I want to cram more hours working in these last months before that, or soak in all the time I can spend with him?”

Shep leaned over the counter, folded his hands. “What do
you
want?”