Love Finds You in Frost Minnesota (20 page)

This was the spirit of Christmas. This was life. This was all he’d denied himself.

The realization hit Jack so hard his knees nearly buckled, and a sense of grief so deep it rivaled that of the days after Jamie’s death washed over him. What had he done? He was no more guilty of Jamie’s death than Jamie himself. They’d been children, shortsighted, silly kids with more bravado than brains. They’d been like every other young boy was at some time or another—only the consequences for their actions had been so much greater. Sadly his parents had been too deep in their own pain to get any help for his.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head.
Lord, You’ve forgiven me. How can I forgive myself?

There, in the makeshift manger, with Merry crooning to the infant, Jack received a gift so big, so miraculous, that he could barely take it in. “
You are forgiven. You’ve always been. You just have to receive it.”

He hoped no one noticed that Joseph had tears running down his cheeks.

Jack had collected himself by the time Vince came by.

“I’ll wait for you guys inside,” he said quietly so he didn’t distract those around him. “I refuse to eat my first-ever lute-fisk alone.”

“Five minutes,” Merry murmured. “Then our replacements will come.”

They’d been standing there for almost an hour? Jack marveled. Is that all the time it had taken to turn his life upside down and inside out? To finally make him understand how he’d allowed guilt and grief to take his own life much as that tree and sled had taken Jamie’s?

As they stepped out of the Nativity scene, Jack felt as if he were stepping into a brand-new world, one with brighter lights and sounds, the life he could . . . no,
should
. . . have been living.

Beside him, Merry returned the angelic baby to its mother.

“He was absolutely perfect,” Merry was saying. “Barely a peep out of him.”

As the women chatted, Jack stared at the baby. He’d never really paid much attention to babies before tonight. That was part of the life he’d denied himself . . . but no longer.

The child, obviously sensing Jack’s interest, bestowed on him a radiant toothless smile that made his entire tiny body wiggle.

Smiling all the way down to one’s toes. Until that moment, Jack hadn’t realized that was possible. He felt his own smile building within him. Forgiven—by God and finally by himself. There was much to smile about.

Merry, completely oblivious to what had been going on in Jack, tugged on his hand. “Let’s get some of these clothes off and join Vince.”

He had no time to draw her aside. Vince entered the room.

“You two made quite a couple,” he said. There was an odd tone in his voice. Jack glanced at him sharply. “I saw a side of my friend Jack that I hadn’t seen before.”

“What was that?” Merry asked as she ran a brush through her hair.

Jack stilled, wondering what Vince would say.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really thought of him as a father, but he was a pretty good one tonight. And there was something else that I can’t quite put my finger on.” Vince frowned, deep in thought. He caught Jack’s eye. “It was as if something came over you. You looked relaxed, at ease . . . at home, somehow.”

Something
had
come over him. Peace. For the first time since he was twelve years old, he felt peace.

Chapter Twenty-One

• • • • • • • • • • • •

The room smelled like a fish market. The aroma of fish mingled with the earthy smell of boiling potatoes and the sweet odors of hot apple cider, fragrant baked goods, and hot coffee. It was an overload for the senses.

Women in the kitchen hovered over huge pots of boiling water, staring into them intently, watching for some unspoken signal that told them the lutefisk was ready. Then it was scooped out of the water with strainers and plopped onto large plates, which the men designated as waiters promptly carried to the dining room, where they were accosted by eager diners who were ready for seconds.

Meanwhile, everyone in the line in which Jack and Vince stood took turns at the kitchen pass-through getting their first helpings.

Jack turned to Vince to say something and immediately noticed the strange, greenish cast to his friend’s complexion. “Are you okay?”

“What’s that?” Vince pointed to a plate of opaque, gelled flesh as it went by.

“That’s what we’ve come for, lutefisk,” Merry said.

“No way. I’ve cleaned stuff like that off the bottom of an aquarium.”

“It’s hardly that bad.” They reached the front of the line, where Merry took a blob of fish, two potatoes, and green peas. Then she poured a quarter cup melted butter over the top. She handed it to Vince. “Try this.”

“I could eat my spare tire if it had that much butter on it . . . or is that the point?” Jack asked.

Merry smiled at him prettily and didn’t answer. Instead she took rolled lefse from a platter and put it on Vince’s plate. Then she got her own plate, and Jack followed suit. Vince didn’t move. He just stared down at the food in dismay.

When they sat down, hot coffee magically appeared in paper cups. Then a fresh tray of sweets was settled in front of the trio.

Merry patted Vince’s arm. “Dig in.”

Jack, aware of his opportunity to show Vince how things were done, and that he, at least, wasn’t afraid of a pile of fish gelatin, slopped the butter around on his plate and took a bite of the fish. It slid around in his mouth a bit, as if it couldn’t get traction on his tongue. When he did get a bite between his teeth, it had a faintly rubbery texture, which seemed appropriate considering the slimy coating. He swallowed quickly.

“Salt it, and when you take a bite of fish, take some potato too.” Merry demonstrated. “Yum.”

He wouldn’t go that far, Jack thought. It was definitely an acquired taste, but he did have a second helping with more butter, potatoes, and a spoonful of peas. He was drinking coffee and eating butter cookies when Vince, who’d finally forced down a bite, excused himself from the table.

“I’ll make him a ham sandwich when we get home,” Merry said. “At least he tried it. And you”—she beamed—“are being a good sport!”

“My father did a lot of fishing. We ate it several nights a week. It wasn’t such a stretch for me as for Vince. He’s suspicious of any seafood but breaded fish sticks.”

Jack glanced up to see a man with an angry expression striding toward their table.

“Hi Harry,” Merry said. “Merry Christmas. I’d like you to meet—”

Harry interrupted her rudely. He was glaring at Jack. “Just what is it you think you’re up to?”

Jack was startled. “Wha—”

“I heard how you guys have been messing around the courthouse, looking at deeds and titles, you and that sleazeball attorney you’ve got with you. Something funny is going on, and I know you’ve been looking at the paperwork on my property. Keep your nose out of my business. Just because some relative of yours founded this town doesn’t mean you have the right to dig around in our affairs.”

Then he looked sourly at Merry. “I don’t know why you’re encouraging these guys, Merry, but I’m disappointed in you.” Harry spun on his heel and stomped off, leaving those at the table gaping after him.

Jack pushed away from the table to go after him, but Merry put her hand on his sleeve. “Don’t.”

“Did you hear what he said to you? He’s disappointed in you? That’s ridiculous! You have nothing to do with it. He needs to be straightened out.”

“I also heard what he said about you.” Merry spoke softly, forcing Jack to sit down beside her in order to hear her words. “What’s that about?”

“I think this is something that I, the designated sleazeball, started,” Vince said as he returned to the table. The color was back in his face now that he had something other than his food to think about. He’d heard the conversation.

“A recording mistake was made at the courthouse years ago. Correcting the error will have ramifications. It’s going to upset the apple cart around here for a while. Of course, the people involved never did own the Frost land, but it’s going to be a real blow when they find out.”

“Can’t you do something?”

“It’s not their property,” Vince interjected. “In actuality it never was. It’s Jack’s property and his inheritance. What’s more, he intends to make sure his cousins’ families get their fair share. He’s not thinking of himself.”

Jack remained silent, his face stoic.

Her shoulders sagged.

Jack cleared his throat. “I think it’s time for us to leave, what do you say?”

Merry shook her head. “You guys run along. I have to stay here and help clean up, collect the Nativity costumes, and return the goat. I’ll be along as soon as I can.”

Jack heard her unspoken message loud and clear.
Not now, not with you
.

Vince stood up and gestured for Jack to do the same.

Reluctantly Jack pushed away from the table. “Do you need help?”

“No. Just go. I’ll be there soon.” Merry rose and hurried toward the kitchen before Jack could say more.

He and Vince walked silently toward the Christmas boutique, snow crunching beneath their feet.

It was Vince who spoke first. “I’m taking care of this, Jack. You’ll have to trust me. The errors were found and the corrections have been made. It’s as simple as that. There’s nothing illegal or underhanded about what we’re doing. In fact, it’s long overdue.”

“But if it hurts Merry’s friends or her standing in the community . . .”

“Merry will be fine. Everybody loves her. We can all see that. Besides, this has nothing to do with her. It’s Frost family business, no one else’s.”

“I love her, you know.”

The words were out of Jack’s mouth before he could stop them.

“It’s pretty obvious.” Vince continued to trudge through the new snow, which had just started falling.

“You
know
? How . . .”

“The way you look at her, the way you two relate to each other. I’ve never seen you this open or transparent, even vulnerable, before. She’s brought you out of that shell in which you’d encased yourself. This is the first time I think I’ve ever seen you truly happy. When you are with Merry you are the guy you would have been if not for the accident.”

Stunned, Jack stopped in the middle of the street. “You can see all that?”

“I’d have to be blind not to.” Vince slapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations, man. Welcome back to the world we live in.”

“Do you think Merry . . . Does she . . . Can she . . . ?”

“Love you? It certainly seems so, but she’s so nice to everyone that it’s hard for any of us not to feel that Merry loves us. Of course, there is that way she looks at you . . . and touches you . . . and . . .”

“She looks at me? How?”

“She’s always trying to figure you out. I can see it in her eyes. When I first arrived and you were sick, she was practically ill with worry. I’ve never seen another woman fuss over a guy like she fusses over you.”

“But how does she look at me?”

“Like you’re a knight in shining armor mostly. Until tonight. She was pretty upset that we might be causing the people of Frost some inconvenience or worse. I hope she doesn’t think you’re the villain in all this. I wouldn’t worry about it though. She’s pretty crazy about you.”

“But I am worried. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Merry.” Jack felt an unusual frisson of alarm running through him. He’d rarely cared about much of anything in the past, but the thought of losing Merry before he even really had her in his life was terrifying.

“Jack, you aren’t hurting Merry. This is purely business and you know that better than anyone. Just stand back and let me do what I do best. We’ll have things straightened out before the New Year.”

Jack felt a stone growing in his gut. That was less than two weeks away. Was that how long he had to convince Merry that he meant her town no harm—and that he loved her?

* * * * *

When Merry wasn’t home by ten o’clock, Jack began to worry. Vince, unconcerned, had turned in, leaving Jack to stew and pace. Even Peppy and Eggnog had fallen asleep on the couch. Nog had tried to cozy up in Jack’s lap but had finally given up when Jack persisted on jumping up to look out the window. Maybe he should go to the church to see if she was okay. Or he could just call her, if he could only find the telephone book. Merry carried every phone number in town in her head.

At eleven, he heard her laughing at the front door and raced to open it.

On the top step stood Merry and Zeke. She was smiling broadly at something Zeke had said, and he was reaching for her hand in an intimate gesture.

They all froze in an awkward tableau.

Merry was the first to move. “Jack, are you still up?”

“I was waiting for you.”
To tell you I love you.

“Zeke came in just as we were wrapping up. Fortunately we had food enough for him, but he got stuck putting away tables and folding chairs. I’m so glad he was around. He even returned the goat!”

If he’d ever had a more surreal conversation, he couldn’t remember it. Here they were, another man with the woman Jack loved, discussing the return of a farm animal to its rightful owner. All Jack wanted to do was kick Zeke off Merry’s front step.

Merry, oblivious to the dirty looks that Zeke was sending Jack, gave her old friend a hug. “Thanks a bunch, Zeke. I owe you coffee for this one.”

“Just coffee?” Zeke teased.

Jack wasn’t sure if it was for Merry’s sake or his own that Zeke had said it.

He also realized that Zeke wanted him to give them some privacy, but Jack wasn’t feeling very generous. He held his ground as Merry entered the house.

She turned back to wave at Zeke. “G’night!”

Merry peeled off her gloves and unwrapped the scarf around her neck. “You didn’t have to stay up. I don’t want you to have a relapse from the cold weather and a late night.”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Merry.” Now on so many levels he knew that was true.

“Sorry. I just like to nurture people, I guess.” She flopped onto the couch and patted the seat. “Tell me what Vince thought of the lutefisk.”