Love Changes Everything (35 page)

‘What on earth do you think you are doing?' Trixie gasped as she wrenched the rolling pin from Daisy's hand. ‘If you'd hit her with that you could have killed her.'

‘Like she killed my Jimmy,' Daisy retaliated. ‘And she's a thief. I found her in my bedroom looking in the cupboard; if I hadn't gone in at that moment then she'd have stolen something.'

‘No, she wouldn't; she was looking for Jimmy,' Trixie said wearily. ‘She still doesn't understand why he isn't here and that was his favourite place to hide when they used to play hide and seek.'

‘He's not here because she killed him; that's why he isn't here,' Daisy retorted. ‘Bloody little murderer, she ought to be locked up. She should be somewhere where there're bars on the windows and locks on all the doors so that she can't get out,' she added vindictively.

Trixie pulled the trembling child to her feet, trying to ignore the puddle on the floor, and hugged her close. ‘It's all right,' she murmured gently. ‘Come on, let's get you some dry clothes and find your coat; we'll go for a walk.'

‘She's peed herself, has she?' Daisy said contemptuously. ‘Dirty little madam!'

‘Yes, she has,' Trixie agreed calmly. ‘It shows the harm you can do by shouting at her.'

Ignoring Daisy who'd followed them into the bedroom she began to remove Cilla's wet dress and knickers and began rummaging in the chest of drawers for some clean dry clothes.

‘You won't find any there,' Daisy said triumphantly, ‘you haven't done any washing this week, have you?'

Trixie didn't bother to answer; instead, she fished out the bag with the dirty washing in it from underneath their bed and began sorting through to find something for Cilla to wear.

‘You're as dirty a bitch as she is. I can see where she gets it from now,' Daisy sneered as Trixie shook out a crumpled dress and then tried to smooth out the creases before putting it on Cilla. ‘Don't bother washing it, just shake it and wear it again,' she taunted.

When Trixie didn't answer and Daisy realised that she wasn't going to rise to her taunts she turned on her heel and went out of the room, banging the door behind her.

Once more feeling dry and comfortable, Cilla reached up and pulled Trixie's face down to her level and gave her a big slobbery kiss. Then she tried to help by pushing the bag of dirty clothes back underneath the bed, but Trixie stopped her.

‘We'll take that with us when we go out,' she told Cilla. As she spoke she began emptying the few other bits and pieces of clothing that were in the rickety chest of drawers, as well as the two new dresses she'd bought at Christmas, into the same bag. Then she helped Cilla to put on her outdoor things, took her hand, picked up the bag, and left without a word to Daisy.

Cilla didn't even ask where they were going but trotted along obediently at Trixie's side, occasionally grabbing hold of her coat to steady herself, or when they crossed the road.

Trixie didn't want to embarrass Andrew by waiting right outside the bank for him so she stood on the corner of Scotland Road and Collingwood Street and hoped that she wouldn't miss him as he left for home.

She was so engrossed in watching for him that she didn't see Jake approaching from the opposite direction and was quite startled when he touched her on the shoulder.

‘Oh Jake! You nearly made me jump out of my skin! I wasn't expecting to bump into you.'

‘I didn't think you'd be waiting for me,' he stated, giving her a lopsided grin.

‘No, I'm hoping to catch Andrew when he leaves the bank. He's said I can move in with him and I wanted to know if I could do so right away. It's sheer hell with Daisy. She's on the rampage again over Jimmy dying and today I caught her about to wallop Cilla with a rolling pin.'

Jake frowned. ‘That's terrible!' He reached out and stroked Cilla's face. ‘You all right now, luv? What about you and me going and buying some sweeties in a minute? You'd like that, wouldn't you?'

Cilla let go of her hold on Trixie's coat and stretched out her hand to take Jake's.

‘You're not really thinking of moving in with Andrew, are you?' he asked worriedly. ‘I'm surprised you are even contemplating it. People will talk; if you're living in sin you'll get yourself a bad name.'

‘Jake!' Trixie gave him a furious look. ‘Moving in right away won't matter because we're planning to get married quite soon,' Trixie said confidently.

Jake raised his eyebrows questioningly. ‘So when were you going to tell me?'

‘I was waiting to hear what arrangements Andrew has made first,' she said evasively.

‘Well, make sure you know what you're doing; remember you can't always believe everything Andrew says.'

‘Now you know, aren't you going to congratulate me and wish us well?'

Jake didn't answer; instead he turned his attention to Cilla who was still holding his hand and hopping from one foot to the other impatiently.

‘Shall I take Cilla on home with me and then you can come and pick her up when you've spoken to Andrew? It might be easier to talk to him on your own.'

‘Thank you, Jake, that really would be a great help but I have to be at work by six o'clock and I won't have time to come round to your place and get to Cazneau Street by then and I mustn't be late.'

‘Then I'll take her home with me and you can pick her up later when you finish work.'

‘Would you! Thanks, Jake. What would I do without you?' she added with a grateful smile.

‘I don't know, perhaps you'll tell me some time.' He grinned. ‘Come on, then.' He moved off, holding Cilla's hand and listening to her chattering away about what sweets she liked best.

It was almost twenty minutes before Trixie spotted Andrew leaving the bank. He was so engrossed talking to some of his colleagues that he would have walked right past her if she hadn't called out his name. Then he stopped in surprise and, frowning, excused himself from the group and came over to her.

‘Is something wrong?'

‘Yes, in a way,' she said hesitantly. ‘We talked about me moving in with you and . . .' she hesitated, feeling shy of actually asking him outright. Then a vivid picture of Daisy wielding the rolling pin at Cilla flooded her mind and she took a deep breath and rushed on, ‘and I wondered if it was all right to do so right away.'

Andrew chewed his lower lip, avoiding her eyes. ‘This is a bit sudden. I thought we agreed that it would be after Christmas. I told you I needed time to make some arrangements.'

‘I know, but I can't stay at Virgil Street with Daisy another minute because things there have got so bad.' She indicated the bag at her side. ‘I thought it would be all right, so I've brought all my clothes and everything.'

‘Well,' he gave a reluctant smile. ‘In that case, then I suppose I'll have to say yes, but—'

‘Great. Look, I have to go to work right now but tell me the address and I'll come there as soon as I finish at eight o'clock. I'll have to go and collect Cilla first; we bumped into Jake and he's taken her to buy some sweets and then he's said he'll take her home with him till I finish work.'

‘Cilla! You're planning on bringing Cilla with you? You mean that if you move in with me she's coming as well?' Andrew frowned.

‘Surely you knew that? I wouldn't dream of leaving Cilla behind, she's the main reason why I'm so anxious to get away from Daisy. She's still convinced that Cilla had something to do with Jimmy's death and she'll half kill her if she gets the chance. That's why it's so important for me to move out as soon as I can. Only today . . .' Trixie stopped as she realised Andrew wasn't listening to what she was saying. His whole demeanour had changed.

‘What's wrong, Andrew? You must have realised I would have to bring her.'

‘It's rather difficult,' he said stiffly. ‘I was about to tell you that because of my promotion I will be moving away from Liverpool. It's a great career move and if it was just the two of us then you would be able to come with me but I couldn't take Cilla along as well . . . that would be impossible. The bank wouldn't like it.'

Trixie looked puzzled. ‘Why on earth does the bank have to know?' she asked in a bewildered voice.

‘For security purposes, of course,' he snapped. ‘They have to know where I'm living.'

‘I can understand that but they don't have to know who is living with you, surely.'

‘I'm afraid they do, which is why it's not going to be possible to take Cilla, Trixie. I'm sorry and all that, but you must try and understand my position.'

He started to move away but Trixie grabbed hold of his arm and stopped him. ‘Hold on, Andrew. A couple of minutes ago you were all prepared to let me move in with you, so how come everything's changed in a matter of minutes?'

Andrew looked uncomfortable. ‘I was waiting to find out about my transfer; that's what I meant when I said I had some arrangements to make first.'

‘That's a load of nonsense,' she refuted. ‘You only changed your mind when I said that Cilla would have to come as well. Admit it; you don't want her with us, do you?'

He hesitated for a minute, chewing on his bottom lip. ‘If you really want the truth, then the answer is no, you're quite right and it is better if you realise that right from the start, Trixie. As I told you, I want you to come and live with me, that's fine, and—'

Trixie didn't wait for him to finish. Turning on her heel she walked away, half blinded with tears. She'd thought that Andrew's love for her was strong enough for him to accept how much her sister meant to her and to understand that she would always be responsible for her, but now she knew she had been under an illusion the entire time. He wanted her but he was not prepared to take Cilla as well.

As she walked towards the O'Malleys' house the other thought that came into her head not only stunned her but also made her feel ashamed; Andrew had never once mentioned anything about them getting married.

He probably had never intended that they should, she thought miserably. He was prepared to have her living with him, sleeping with him, probably cooking and cleaning for him, but he didn't want her as a wife, she thought bitterly.

Jake had been right when he'd warned her not to believe everything Andrew said, she thought grimly, and she wondered what he would say when she told him about what had happened now. He'd probably be as understanding as he usually was, she reflected gratefully.

What was she going to do now? she asked herself. By this time Daisy would probably have discovered that she'd taken everything she owned when she'd left the house with Cilla and so she probably wouldn't let her back into the house.

Not that she wanted to go back there, but where else was there for her to go? She would have to wait till Daisy and her dad were home, in bed and asleep, and then hope she could get in without waking them.

Chapter Thirty-One

Trixie breathed a sigh of relief when she arrived home and found everywhere was in darkness. She whispered to Cilla that they mustn't make a sound in case they disturbed Daisy or their father. As they crept into their own bedroom she hid the bag with their clothes in it under the bed. She'd sort that all out in the morning before Daisy was up and then no one would be any the wiser about what she'd been planning to do.

Cilla was almost too tired to even undress herself and Trixie had to help her. Within a few minutes, though, they were both in bed. Cilla fell asleep almost immediately but Trixie lay there going over and over in her mind the events of the evening.

She felt humiliated by Andrew's attitude and the way he had walked away from her. She felt embarrassed by the way she'd clung on to him all this time, hungry for every kind word or smile that came her way. Most of the time he'd probably been laughing at her, she thought bitterly.

She'd been so convinced that he had the same sort of feelings for her as she had for him, yet now, when she looked back, she realised what an utter idiot she had been. It was so obvious that his interest in her was centred on one thing only. He didn't want someone like her as a girlfriend, not when he had so many other really lovely girls all vying with each other for his attention.

She'd made it so obvious that she was ready to do anything at all he asked of her that she couldn't really blame him for taking advantage of the fact. She was the one at fault and she felt dismayed that she'd expressed her feelings so openly.

Perhaps if her mother had still been alive and she'd had someone close to confide in about such things then she would have realised the truth. She'd been so hungry for love and affection that she'd built Andrew up into something he wasn't.

Now, for the first time, she realised that he was selfish, egotistical and interested only in himself and his achievements at the bank. If she had gone to live with him she would have been little more than a live-in housekeeper. He'd probably still have gone off gallivanting with his friends and left her on her own most evenings.

He had certainly made it quite plain that he didn't want anything at all to do with Cilla and in that respect he was no better than Daisy.

She turned on her side and put an arm round Cilla, cuddling the thin little body close to her. What she felt for Cilla was more than mere affection, more than sisterly duty. It was a deep, lasting bond and, whatever happened in the future, Cilla would always come first. If it meant that Trixie had to work for the rest of her life to look after her then that is what she'd do.