Love By The Book (10 page)

Chapter 18

Despite my late night out, I woke bright and early the following morning. Sleep hadn’t done much to clear my head or to provide answers to any of the questions that had danced in circles around my mind during the night. I was still lost and confused. More than that, I felt devastated and betrayed. There was something especially painful in learning to put your trust in someone only to have it stripped away so quickly.

Unwilling to lie around and contemplate the unpleasant day ahead while waiting for the others to wake, I crawled out of bed and got dressed. I dragged on my rattiest pair of jeans and a plain cotton T-shirt. No makeup today. Somehow, appearances didn’t mean much this morning. Not when you were about to send the only man in your life packing.

The morning light was still dim when I tiptoed through the living room, bypassing the couch where Duke snored away, and slipped secretly out the front door. Maybe a brisk morning walk would help me get my thoughts in order or at least provide a distraction from the horrible confrontation ahead.

As I took the elevator down to the first floor and then passed through the doors of the apartment building, I didn’t allow myself to go over my list of questions again. I had lain awake long into the night planning what I had to say to Duke, counting his transgressions, and trying to imagine a motive behind his strange actions. I had come up with more questions than answers.

This morning, I concentrated on the gray sky overhead and on the hint of a nip still lingering in the morning air—anything ordinary and safe. The city seemed oddly subdued under the pale light of dawn. Because of the early hour there wasn’t the usual press of traffic on the streets and the rush of people headed to and from work. The sidewalks around the apartment house were all but deserted. It wasn’t a pretty neighborhood for strolling, but that didn’t stop me from making two circles around the block.

***

By the time I returned to the apartment I had worked up a sweat. I had no sooner poked my key into the lock than the door swung open from within. Carlita stood facing me in the doorway. For a moment, I attributed the tension in my friend’s face to the stressful situation with Duke.

Then Carlita said, “Meggs, one of your sisters called.”

My heart plunged instantly. My family never called. Something must be wrong. “Is it Mom?” I asked breathlessly.

Carlita nodded. “She fell yesterday and broke an ankle. They took her to the hospital.”

“Yesterday! This happened yesterday, and I’m just now finding out about it?”

“Take it easy. Apparently it wasn’t that serious, and they didn’t want to freak you out. She’s already home again and doing fine.”

I ignored that last. “I have to get down there right away.” I brushed past Carlita and into the apartment. Snatching my purse down from the wall, I added, “Mom underplays everything. If she says her ankle has a little fracture that means it’s really smashed and she’s immobilized for life.”

My friend tried to comfort me. “I really think you’re making too much of this. Your sister said—”

“Which sister called?” I cut her off.

“Lindsey.”

“Lindsey? That explains why she waited so long to call. Lindsey’s always out to get all the attention for herself. Always eager to make Kelsey and me look like the
bad
daughters. Naturally she wants Mom to think I just don’t care to rush to her side.”

Carlita shrugged. “So, what are you going to do? It’s a three-hour drive to Well Springs. A cab will charge you a fortune for that.”

I hesitated. “Has your brother still got that old car?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t trust that jalopy on a long drive. You’ll break down on some little country road.”

“I’ll be fine. Call Marlo and tell him to drive it over right away. After what he did to my rug he owes me a favor.” Dropping my purse and sinking down into an armchair, I waited while Carlita went into the kitchen and made the call.

“Are you all right?” a masculine voice asked.

I jumped. I had all but forgotten about Duke in the anxiety of the moment. And now I didn’t have time to deal with him.

“I’m sure your mother will be fine,” he said reassuringly, squatting beside my chair.

“Yeah, sure.” I avoided his sympathetic gaze. Somehow I couldn’t look at him anymore, knowing what I now did.

Carlita burst back into the room. “He’s on his way,” she said of her brother. “Just sit tight a few minutes. He says he’ll be here by seven, and its half past six now.”

“Thanks, Carlita. I know you think I’m overreacting.”

“Hey, it’s your mom. You’re allowed to be upset.” Then almost reluctantly, she glanced at her watch. “I should be getting ready for work right now. But if you like I could call in.”

“No, you can’t do that. Didn’t your boss say any more weekend call-ins and you could count yourself fired?”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be that big a deal if I was. It’s not exactly my dream job. Besides, I can’t leave you alone today to deal with…” Carlita cast a significant glance at Duke. “Things,” she finished up. “You need moral support.”

“I’ll go with her,” Duke offered helpfully.

He had come to stand behind the chair and now rested a comforting hand on my shoulder. Last night I would have been soothed by that. Today I wanted to shake off his hand. But that kind of reaction might have awoken questions I had no time to handle now.
Mom first. I’d deal with everything else after I know she was okay
.

Carlita was shooting Duke a look that should’ve killed him where he stood, but he seemed not to notice.

I forestalled any coming confrontation. “It’s okay,” I told her. “I don’t need you to stay. Besides with me out of work, one of us has to hold onto a job. We can’t afford to miss any rent payments.”

“I guess not.” But she was still eyeing Duke distastefully. “Maybe I’d better be getting dressed then.” She hesitated in the doorway to her room, looking back at us. “Is there anything you’d like me to handle before I go?” Neither of us looked at Duke this time, but I knew what she was referring to.

“Nothing,” I said firmly. “I can take care of myself. Anyway, nothing’s more important than getting to my mom right now.”

“All right then.” Carlita disappeared into her room, leaving Duke and me in awkward silence.

“I, uh, better get into some decent clothes too,” I said quickly. “I can’t go out to Mom’s dressed like this. She’d rather die than see me looking like a street bum. Wouldn’t my perfect sisters love that?” I scrambled out of my chair and made a hasty exit of my own.

In the privacy of my bedroom I took a moment to collect myself. How much could happen in one day? In the space of a few hours I’d finally acknowledged that I had fallen in love and had then retracted the sentiment—or was trying to, at least. And now I was about to rush off to the scene of a family crisis. As if Duke alone didn’t give me enough to worry about for one day. I glanced at the emerging portrait on the easel. At least my artist’s block was over. I took a breath and did my best to shove my other worries to one side. One thing at a time. I had to be ready by the time the car arrived.

***

A half hour later, I was fighting the morning traffic as I tried to make my way out of the city. Duke, who had insisted on joining me, sat in the passenger seat alternately leaning excitedly out the window and gripping the sides of the seat in apprehension.

“Will you sit back and roll up that glass?” I finally demanded.

“As you say.” He leaned back in his seat, bracing his feet against the floorboard as we came to a last minute halt before a red light. “Are you certain,” he asked when the light changed and we roared forward again, “that you know how to drive this contraption?”

I sighed impatiently. “I may be a little rusty, but I’ve still got a valid license. It’s these lousy brakes that are the problem.”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so.” I bit back any further retorts. I was aware he was being extremely patient with me this morning. He must have seen how upset I was about my Mom’s condition. I almost appreciated his efforts, until I remembered they were motivated by who knew what selfish aims, and covered over in a generous coating of lies as well.

“Keep an eye out for our exit,” I limited myself to saying. “I’ve got it marked on the map.”

He looked surprised. “You need a map to get to your family home?”

“Not for the whole way,” I said defensively. “There’re just a few turnoffs I forget.” And then because his incredulous expression pricked my conscience a little I went ahead and confessed, “I don’t exactly go home all that often.”

“I suppose the long journey makes travel a difficulty.”

“It’s not that.” I stopped myself from launching into further explanations. I owed him nothing. Somehow it was just so hard to keep from opening up to him, even knowing him for the fake he was. “Here’s our exit,” I said, changing the subject. “Just a few hours more and we’ll be there.”

“There? Don’t you mean
home?
”

“Yeah, sure. Home.”

***

As it turned out, a few hours didn’t see us at our destination after all. As I squatted alongside the road in a back country lane helping Duke change the tire, I glanced at my watch and saw it was coming up on eleven o’clock. We had made good time until we’d got onto these rutted, country roads. It was then that, much as Carlita had predicted, Marlo’s jalopy gave out on us. Or, to give the vehicle all the credit it was due, it was actually the left rear tire that had given out, and maybe it wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been speeding roughly over so many bumps and potholes.

The only good discovery of the morning was in finding Marlo at least had the foresight to stock the trunk with a spare tire. It was also a happy revelation to find that Duke, though he had never before attempted a tire change, was fairly handy with tools and seemed capable of figuring out what needed to be done.

Stooping beside him in the dust and lending a hand as he called for it brought back memories to me of long ago vacations in the days when my dad had been around. Many times I had been called upon, as the tomboy of the family, to assist him in just this same way. I shook my head and swiped away the stream of sweat trickling down my forehead, forcing myself to forget the old days.

“I think I’ve got the wheel back on,” Duke said, breaking into my thoughts as he stood and dusted off his hands.

“Tire,” I corrected absently. “It’s called a tire.”

“Whatever it is, this one should get us to our destination. How much farther must we travel?”

“Not far.” I watched him shift the jack back into the trunk along with the old punctured tire. “I know these roads pretty well. I used to ride them on my bike when I was a teenager.”

“Good. Then let’s be off.”

And we loaded up, me moving with much less enthusiasm than he. In fact the nearer we drew toward my mother’s house the slower I found myself driving. Almost unconsciously, I delayed the moment of arrival as long as possible, using the rough shape of the roads as my excuse. Duke, however, appeared to sense my feelings.

“Megan, I hope you don’t think I’m intruding on your privacy,” he said quietly.

I started a little because it was the first time I could remember him ever calling me anything besides ‘Miss Hurst.’

He continued. “If you think I’m prying just say so. But I have to ask, what is wrong with your family?”

I prickled. “There is nothing wrong with my family.”
What’s wrong with you that you would ask something like that?
I was tempted to voice the thought but didn’t, remembering that he was, after all, here for me.

“Perhaps there is just something I’m failing to understand, but where I come from it would be very odd for someone to have so little interest in their family or their home, or in discussing either one.”

I acknowledged his point. “If I seem a little reluctant to talk about those things it’s because it’s a painful subject. You may notice a similar awkwardness in the rest of the family when we get there. Going home always brings up these memories of my dad and then I get back to feeling like I was eight and abandoned all over again.” And just like that I found myself spilling out the very subject I had never discussed with anyone. Not even my mom or sisters.

Duke was understanding. “It must be very hard to lose a parent that way. Not because death forced you to part but because—” He stopped abruptly, apparently realizing his error.

“But because they just don’t care to be with you,” I finished for him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put it so clumsily.”

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the road as we turned down a short private drive. “You put it like it is. You should never apologize for that. I can take honesty as well as the next girl.”

“Can you?” he asked seriously. “Because there’s something I’ve been needing to confess. It’s about my memory loss.”

“Really?” I hated myself for the way my heart beat a little faster. If he decided to come clean now would it be too late to patch things up? Could I still have any kind of relationship with a man who had lied to me and pretended to be somebody he wasn’t?

“First, let me say that my condition was genuine in the beginning. I think my head injury addled my wits. However, by the second or third time we met, more of my memory had begun coming back than I was willing to admit at the time. Eventually, the whole of it would return.”

I tried not to sound accusing as I asked, “Then why all the vague answers and pretences? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth about yourself?”

He hesitated. “Some things are hard to explain.”

“Or hard to believe,” I suggested. Speaking of believing, I didn’t know what to think at this moment. Was he trying to make a full confession now because he sensed the game was up?

Whatever the answer, I wasn’t about to find it out any time soon. Our conversation died off prematurely as we pulled up and stopped before a small, white house with a wraparound porch.

“This is it,” I said. “This is where I spent most of my life.”

Chapter 19

Together we got out of the car. At the sound of car doors slamming, the front door of the house opened. The face of a six-year-old little boy peered out at us. “That’s my nephew, Eric,” I explained to Duke at my side. I raised my voice. “Hi, Eric. Go tell your mom we’re here, okay, baby?”

Eric remained glued to the spot as we climbed the front steps. “Who’s that?” he demanded, pointing at Duke.

“This is my friend Duke,” I said and then repeated more sharply, “Go get your mom.”

“I’m already here,” a voice called from behind the boy and then my oldest sister Kelsey appeared. Her hair and skin coloring were as unlike mine as we could be. Kelsey had taken our mother’s fair hair and freckled skin while I had inherited our father’s reddish brown hair and slightly darker coloring. There were only seven years separating the eldest sister from the youngest but somehow Kelsey’s motherly attitude—or maybe it was just her status as the oldest—made the years seem longer than they were. I always felt myself shrink a little in Kelsey’s presence. This was the sister who had always been acknowledged as the beauty of the family.

“Megan,” Kelsey said, and I thought there was genuine pleasure in her tone. “I’m so glad you came. Mom didn’t want you bothered—you’re such a long ways away now—but I told Lindsey we should call. Well, don’t just stand out there. Come on in. Lindsey’s making lunch.” Then for the first time she noticed Duke standing behind me.

“Oh,” I said, realizing I had yet to make any explanation for the stranger I was toting along with me. “This is my friend Duke. He offered to ride down with me, and it’s a good thing he did. We had a flat on the road a little ways back, and I don’t know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t had him with me.”

“Duke is it?” Kelsey said. “Please, step inside, Duke. I’m very grateful to you for rescuing my little sister. We worry about her so much. She’s the baby of the family and is always so far away.”

She looked as if she wanted to say more but, as we stepped into the house, Lindsey made her entrance. Lindsey was like a younger version of Kelsey but with curlier hair and a slightly more severe face. As the middle daughter, Lindsey had always been a little offended at missing out on either of the choice positions of first-born or baby. She counteracted that sensitivity by frequently trying to usurp the roles of both. Most of the time, Kelsey and I let her.

“All right, all right,” Lindsey broke into our conversation. “There’s nothing to make so much fuss over, Kelsey. She’s here now, and it doesn’t look like she’s suffered too much from the trip.” She looked my fairly simple outfit of pink blouse and kakis up and down. “I don’t see how you come up with money to pay your rent. You must spend every penny you make on your wardrobe. You’re wearing a different outfit every time I see you.”

I gritted my teeth. “That’s not hard to do when I only see you twice a year.”

“What is all that fussing in there?” a distant voice called from another room. “Are you girls bickering again?”

“No, Mom,” my sisters and I called in unison. It seemed like there were some areas where we could all agree.

I dropped my voice. “How is she?”

Lindsey said, “Not that bad really. The pills they gave her keep her out of pain, and she has a pair of crutches to hobble around on until she gets back on her feet. To tell you the truth, I think she’s kind of enjoying having an excuse to do nothing but sit in front of the TV all day.” For the first time, her face softened. “She gave us an awful fright in the beginning though, didn’t she, Kelsey? When I came over and found her in the floor like that I was sure she had managed to kill herself somehow.”

Kelsey, always the agreeable sister, nodded along.

Our conversation was again interrupted by a voice from the next room. “Was that Megan at the door?” my mother called from down the hall. “If it is, she’d better get in here and explain to me what on earth she’s doing down here on a Monday when she should be at work.”

Lindsey rolled her eyes. “It’s Saturday, Mom,” she shouted back and then turned to us. “Come on. You’d better get in there to see her or she’ll be up and hobbling out here any minute.”

I followed my sisters through the house, aware of Duke’s inquiring eyes on me. I could guess what he was thinking. I had never even told my family I was out of work. I refused to meet his eyes. I just hoped whatever else he said or did he’d have the sense to keep that piece of information to himself.

I noted Duke’s curious glances around the rooms we passed through. The front entryway to the house was cool and tiled and the tile continued on into the living room where several rugs were scattered across the floor. Although the look of the family house was distinctly farm-like on the outside, my mom had done her utmost to give the inside décor a more modern, sophisticated look.

More than once she had remarked to me that she secretly envied my exciting life in the big city. It was weird to think there had been a time when my mom had once had big dreams of her own and an itching desire to get out of the country. Framed black and white photos decorating the mantelpiece over the fireplace and tucked into little nooks in the wall gave testament to my mom’s own passion—photography.

Duke touched my arm as we passed a low table adorned with an impressive array of oversized photos. “Mom did the pictures,” I explained. “She was always good behind a camera. Used to want to be a professional photographer.”

“So artistic talent runs in the family,” he whispered back.

I didn’t answer. We were entering a large, sunny room lit by several long windows. The walls were painted a cheery shade of yellow and long vines of stenciled ivy clambered along near the ceiling. A daybed stood against one wall and several armchairs were pulled in a half circle around it. On top of the bed rested my mother, an open magazine in her lap, a TV remote in one hand and a glass of soda in the other. The only thing to indicate she had suffered any accident at all was her leg, encased in a cast around the ankle and propped up on a stool.

I paused in the doorway to study her. She certainly seemed herself. Her hair was prettily arranged and her clothes looked like something she might wear out to lunch. I thought I even detected a smidgen of makeup on her cheeks.

“Don’t everybody stand there staring like you’ve never seen an invalid before,” my mother said. “Come on inside and tell your beloved mother how concerned you were over her and how terrible she looks.”

I forced a laugh, entering the room. “You don’t look terrible at all, Mom. But I was worried.” Truthfully, I did feel much better now that I could see with my own eyes that all was well.

“You shouldn’t have been,” my mother chided. “There would have been no need for you to worry if these two had done as I’d told them and kept this quiet.” She sent a reproving stare toward her other two daughters. “But the girls, of course, insisted on calling you down here.”

“Both of them insisted?” Duke interrupted, giving me a nudge. “So nobody was trying to make you look like the bad daughter after all.”

I cleared my throat loudly, hoping no one else had heard the comment and said, “Mom, I’m glad they called me. If it was up to you I’d never know when anything went wrong around here.”

“That’s as it’s supposed to be,” my mother said. “Mothers are supposed to take care of their daughters and not the other way around.”

“But Mom—”

“Hush now. That’s enough of the subject. Nothing makes me feel sicker than talking about my health. It’s a teeny fracture. It’s mending and in the meantime I’m going to be enjoying my days off my feet. I’m much more interested in discussing what’s been happening with you since you visited in the spring.” She shot a very brief glance Duke’s way, and I braced myself for what was coming. “Been busy lately, have you?” my mother asked shrewdly. “I don’t believe I’ve ever met this young man.”

“No, Mom. He’s a new friend.” I gave her a meaningful look and put special emphasis on the word ‘friend.’ Up until now I’d only had to worry about Duke embarrassing me in front of my family. Now I suddenly found myself fearing it might go the other way around. Mom had Kelsey’s delicate looks and Lindsey’s blunt manner, which tended to make a startling combination at times.

However, as the afternoon wore on I quickly found I needn’t have worried about how Duke and my family would get on. From the moment of our arrival, Duke put on his most suave manners so that the women in the house were quickly won over. Even Lindsey could find nothing critical to say about him during a brief moment when she and I stepped into the kitchen to ready some refreshments.

“You’d better snap this one up, little sis,” she told me in that authoritative way she had.

“Why? Do you think he’s going somewhere?” I asked. I busied myself dumping ice cubes out of a tray. This wasn’t the time or place to confide my problems with Duke to my sister even if I’d been inclined to.

“Not if you give him a reason to stay,” Lindsey said. “I’m just warning you, you’re running out of time. You’ve got another year—two years tops—before your looks are going to start fading, and when they do you’ll wish you’d done your husband shopping early.”

I laughed. “Thanks, but I’m not too worried about that. I think I have a few good years left in me.” Too bad my inner confidence didn’t match my outer display. Lindsey always knew had to put a damper on a pleasant afternoon. It was one of the reasons I didn’t visit more often. I always went home afterward and spent the next several weeks in front of the mirror searching for wrinkles and gray hair—and wondering if I should take a crack at every man who passed by just so I wouldn’t wind up alone in my old age.

Today, however, my sour mood didn’t last long. When the drinks and snacks we had prepared were ready, Duke suggested we all move outside for a sort of picnic under the shade trees.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea with Mom’s ankle,” I tried to put in, but my protests were quickly overridden by both my mom and Duke. It seemed the two of them could be a formidable team when they combined their wills. I found myself wondering how that boded for the future. Then I quickly remembered that there was no future for me and Duke. Just as soon as we got back to the apartment there would be that awful confrontation looming ahead and then we would go our separate ways, never to meet again.

In a few minutes we had moved our party outside, with Duke helping my mom make it outdoors on her crutches and settling her into a comfortable lawn chair. We were an odd-looking group, Duke with his injured shoulder and my mom with her broken ankle. I thought my mom seemed very much to be enjoying all the attention.

Outside, we wiled away a couple of hours under the cool shade of the oaks. Eric played in the distance with the family’s two terriers, while the adults chatted. No one spoke of anything serious. The family never did. It was just an exchange of pleasantries about local events and the latest news from the city. I treaded carefully there and was grateful when Duke didn’t reveal any information about my fruitless job hunting. I also did my best to steer clear of hinted questions about my relationship with Duke, but it was clear assumptions were being made, even if only in the heads of my family. I couldn’t blame them. I had to admit to myself with Duke’s solicitous behavior and the way he kept hovering near my chair like a dog waiting for a treat we did seem like a couple.

My family was fascinated by the story of our initial meeting, even if Duke told it in rather a vague way. I wondered if it was really because he recalled so little of it or if he was simply trying to protect more secrets. At least there I could be relatively certain of him. Whatever strange scheme he was working, surely nobody was crazy enough to jump out in front of a car on purpose. Remembering the immediate connection I had felt the first time I laid eyes on him, I wondered what might have been if I hadn’t made the painful discovery last night. Would we have lived happily ever after, or would I have eventually stumbled into some elaborate scam I never saw coming?

I found myself daydreaming and was startled back to reality by my mother’s voice.

“Sweetie, my ankle is starting to bother me. Could you step into the house and grab a bottle of aspirin?” my mom was asking Lindsey.

“I’ll get it,” I said, jumping up. “You stay here, Linds. I don’t mind.” I needed an excuse to get up and moving. This whole comfortable atmosphere—sitting here gathered under the trees and chatting in the autumn breeze like a family—was beginning to disturb me. It had been too long since I had felt this much closeness with my family, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Especially when Duke’s easy conversation and warm personality seemed to be the force drawing us all closer together.

Abandoning my seat and waving Duke back when he would have followed me, I slipped into the house alone. Searching the medicine cabinet and the top of the refrigerator, the usual places where my mother kept pills, I couldn’t come up with anything that might help a throbbing ankle. Where was my mom keeping the stuff?

At last I gave up my search and decided just to take some aspirin from my own purse. While I was digging through the crowded bag, shoving aside car keys, billfold, and makeup kit in search of the pill bottle, I came upon
Noble Hearts
tucked away in the outer pocket of the bag. I took it everywhere these days. In fact, the last time I’d had a chance to sneak a peek inside the cover, I’d gotten all the way to the last chapter. The duke had been on the verge of confessing his secret to his lady. Now it was just sitting there, waiting to be revealed, and I hadn’t even the opportunity to skim through the final pages.

The novel beckoned to me. It would only take a minute to find out the ending. But my mom was in pain and waiting for her pills. Hesitating, I snatched the book up for just a moment and cracked the cover. But it wasn’t the last chapter I peeked at. On the inside of the back flap there was a picture of the author, Virginia Lace. It was a small black and white picture and you couldn’t tell much about the woman it featured, except that she had short, dark hair and a plain face. My eyes flitted over the biography below. Virginia Lace had graduated from Wilshire College in nineteen seventy-eight and lived now with her cat and two dogs in the sleepy town of Bentford—