Love and Chaos: A Growing Pains Novel (34 page)

Jace emerged from sleep, feeling like he was resurfacing from a deep sea dive. Cassie’s soft hand pushed at his shoulder, urging him to roll over. He did so with his eyes closed, grabbing ahold of her body and bringing her with. When her arms wrapped around him, and her head rested on the hollow of his shoulder, he sighed contently.

“I have to go.”

It took him a minute to comprehend words. Instead of thinking about their meaning, he kissed the top of her head and drifted back to sleep.

A moment
later he felt her shaking him. “What is it, baby?” he asked lethargically.

“Let me go. I have to go back to my room.”

“This is your room. With me. Go back to sleep.” He squeezed her like a teddy bear before snuggling closer, the heavy arm of sleep dragging him back under.

“Jace!” A hard little fist punched him in the kidney, blasting him awake.

“Huh?” He looked around wildly. “What’s the matter? What happened?”

Cassie’s indulgent laugh drifted through the flickering orange light. A soft hand
slid along his chest. He turned his head, seeing her beautiful face angled up to him and said, “I am so glad I told you I loved you before we had sex tonight, or else you would’ve thought I was full of crap saying it to you now.”

She smiled and kissed his chest. “I wouldn’t have thought you were full of crap, but it would’ve caused doubt.”

“You rocked my world, Cass. Since I’m doing this whole
laying it out there
thing, I’ll admit that that was the best sex I have ever had. And before that, you were still the best I’d ever had.”

She snug
gled into him, giving a little feminine sound that made his heart thump. If he wasn’t so damn sated, he’d probably get a hard-on. “And coming from a man so experienced, that is quite a compliment.”

He squeezed her.

She followed up with, “Me, too. I fell off the decency train just a bit. Your back is going to sting, I think.”

Realization dawned. He sat up quickly, bringing her with him.
He pushed her head to the side gently to let the light from the candle fall across her shoulder. Dents of teeth marred her skin, but nothing too intense. “Did I go too far?”

She tried to get a look at her shoulder. “No. Everything was just right.”

“I lost control.”

Her soft hands felt up his chest and wrapped around his neck. She gave him a sweet kiss. “I know. I liked it. I love you. I don’t even feel weird about saying that. Usually the first couple ‘I love
you’s’ are always kind of awkward. Not with you.”

“Good. Ditto. What time is it?
Man,
I feel good. So damn relaxed.” The red numbers on the clock next to the bed showed 2:35. He glanced at the candle. “That candle is still going strong.”

Jace let his body collapse back into the mattress. He pulled her down with him. “Five more minutes.”

He felt the kiss right before she wiggled out of his grasp. “You know we’ll fall asleep, the candle will catch the room on fire, and then everyone will know.”

“Blow the candle out. Problem solved.”

He watched her round, muscular butt walk over to the candle. His gaze drifted to the paradise between her legs. He might’ve said he was completely honest tonight, but he wasn’t. He was omitting the fact that she had a hard hold on his vitals. That he felt like a beggar at her feet, salivating for attention. He’d gnaw off his arm if she asked him, just to make her happy. At this very moment, his brain was conjuring things to do for her, or things to buy her, just to make her smile.

Thank God she was a genuine, honest, trustworthy person, or she could make a fool out of him and probably run off with all his assets. It’d be as simple as asking outright for it. He wouldn’t even blink as he handed over the key to his Harley. And that just wasn’t done.

“Kay. See you tomorrow. I’ll miss you.” After she got dressed she blew him a kiss across the room.

Elation tickled him,
and he smiled into the darkness as she stepped out of the room, missing her already.

***

Jace sauntered into the kitchen feeling better than he had in years. He felt like he was in his early twenties again, with all the energy and stamina of a king. His mom glanced up from the stove and then did a double-take. “You’re looking chipper. Did you sleep well?
You certainly slept in.”

“Like a log,” Jace replied, scanning the bacon frying on the stove. “
Have you seen…Peter?”

“He and Cassie are out back. Oh, and Demetri asked about you.”

Jace grabbed a piece of toast from a stack to the side of the stove and made his way toward the backyard. Halfway there, just beyond the formal dining room, he met Demetri coming the other way.

“Hey, bro,” Demetri said, his face stern and his eyebrows dipped low. “You got a second?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Demetri waved him toward the side, leading Jace down to the basement. Once there, he waited for Jace to walk through, not making eye contact, and closed the door behind them.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jason?” Demetri said in a snarl as he faced Jace.

Cold washed through
Jace’s middle. He stared at his brother, having a clear idea where this was going, and having no idea how he’d handle it.

“I heard you last night. What are you doing, bro? Hanging out with her is one thing. Making
googly eyes or whatever—it’s a thin line you’ve been skirting, but
this?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Peter’s our
brother,
bro! You can’t shit on him like this. You can’t play him out like this. I thought you were a better man than that!”

Warning prickles started at the base of
Jace’s spine. “Don’t worry about this, Demetri. This isn’t your business.”

Demetri shoved Jace backward into the wall. Jace wiped his brother’s hands away, aggression rising up hard and fast. He kept his hands low, though. Demetri was in the right on this—at least for how things stood at that moment.

“
That’s
what you got to say for yourself? Don’t
worry
about it?” Demetri shoved Jace again.

“Not wise, Demetri,” Jace replied through clenched teeth. He fisted his hands and held onto his control. “This isn’t something you should get involved in.”

“Well
someone’s
got to get involved in it. She came out of Peter’s room this morning—though I have no idea how Peter missed her last night—which means you guys are obviously trying to cover it up.”

Demetri stepped up close
, right into Jace’s face. “End it. End it, or I’ll blow this whole thing up.”

“Y
ou don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, man.” Jace’s knuckles turned white he was squeezing his hands so hard. “Back down.”

“You heard my terms. Stay the hell away from her, don’t touch her, and don’t fuck this up for Peter. The kid is trying to find his way—he doesn’t need the brother that has it all to tear it all down for him.”

The brother that has it all? Jace was living out of a suitcase after getting his heart ripped out. What exactly did he have that Demetri wanted? Because whatever it was, Demetri was welcome to it—Jace would trade places for a family and wife that loved him any day.

He didn’t mention any of that, though. He kept his mouth shut while Demetri simmered down the anger and backed off sl
owly. His eyes held a warning. “Don’t fuck up.”

Jace watched Demetri leave the room with shaking hands. Adrenaline coursed t
hrough him in sheets, making him grasp for control with everything he had. He took a ragged breath and started pacing the room to calm down before he went outside.

Things were at a boil now, and it was about ready to explode.

Peter sat in the lawn chair with his heart in his throat. Cassie sat next to him, quiet and anxious. His three brothers sat on the deck, no one talking
. Demetri was pissed, Nick uncomfortable, and Jace was battling his control to keep quiet. And to keep away from Cassie.

“Why is he staying away from you so hardcore?” Peter asked.

“We probably have the same guess. You heard us last night, too.”

As certai
nty rose, so did Peter’s fear. Yes, he had heard them. And while Cassie had apologized up and down for losing control and potentially blowing his cover, the look in her eyes, and that in Jace’s eyes, wasn’t something Peter could ask them to feel badly about.

“I’m going to tell everyone tonight. After dinner.
While I’m doing that, you should pack up. I have a feeling we’ll be leaving shortly after,” Peter said.

Cassie’s hand reached over and covered his.
“He said he would go to L.A. with us,” Cassie said quietly. “That he would take you up on your offer.”

“Oh yeah? Did you tell him that would happen sooner
, rather than later?”

“Peter, give your family a little credit. It’ll be a shock, but they’ll adjust. They love you.”

“My father tolerates me because I
almost
fit in his ideal role of a man. Let that crumble, and watch what happens.”

“Give him some credit. He’ll come around.”

Peter shook his head and got up. “I’m going to go pack. See you at dinner.”

Five men and Becky sat around the clean and cleared dinner table. The wives and kids were outside or in the front room, and Cassie was up in her room packing as Peter had instructed. When Peter had asked for the family meeting, he had specified the immediate family.

“What is it, Peter?” Roger sat at the head of the table with his hands clasped in front of him.

Jace sat next to him
with his hands in his lap, a stoic expression nailed to his face. Demteri and Nick the same expressions they’d worn all day, one uncomfortable, one angry, and Peter’s mother simply looked curious.

Peter wiped his brow and adjusted his arms, sweating through his cotton, collared shirt. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his constricted chest. His hands and legs both shook. His gut pinched uncomfortably.

“I have some news.” Peter pulled at his collar, feeling choked even though all three buttons were undone.

Demetri glanced at Jace before rolling his neck. He leaned forward
, mirroring his father.

“What is it, hon
ey?” his mom asked with a supportive smile. “Does it involve you and Cassie?” Her eyebrows rose hopefully.

“Um.” His throat was so dry. He took a sip of wine. Then another.
“Well…”

“Out with it, son
.” Roger’s tone was no-nonsense.

Out with it. Right.

Peter straightened his back, and spoke with a quivering voice. “I’m gay.”

Silence reigned as those two syllables
bled into everyone’s ears.

Slowly, his father’s gaze hardened. “You’re what?”

Peter’s face reddened. It hurt to breathe. “Gay. I like men.”

Roger’s fist pounded the table in a sudden fit of temper. “Don’t you speak that filth in my
house! No son of mine is gay.”

“Roger, please.” Becky reached across the table and laid her hand on
the table front of Peter. “It’s okay, son. But are you sure?”

Peter choked out a laugh. “Yes,
Mom. I have a boyfriend in L.A.—“

“Don’t you laugh at your
mother!” Roger stood up, both of his hands braced on the table. “This is bullshit. You’re not gay. You’re just confused.”

“He’s gay, dad,” Jace said in a firm voice. “He’s well past the age of confusion.”

“You
knew?”
Roger turned his vehemence on Jace.

Jace gazed back steadily. “I’ve known for a couple days. Peter told me when he gave me the green light with Cassie. I’m moving down to L.A. to be closer to her.”

“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful!” Becky exclaimed. “A tad unexpected at the moment, but just
great
.”

“Kind of sudden.” Nick held up his hands in
to Jace’s stare. “Just saying—it’s only been a few days.”

“
I just wasted five years with the wrong woman,” Jace shot back. “Time makes no difference.”

“It wasn’t a waste if Cassie is
the one
.” Becky winked at Jace.

“True. She feel
s the same way?” Nick asked, somehow skirting the issue with Peter entirely.

“She invited me,” Jace answered.