Loud: The Complete Series (A Bad Boy Alpha Male Romance) (11 page)

“That is sad. Man, I guess my situation with Chris
doesn't even compare to something that hardcore.”

“Oh, no. I didn't mean to make light of your situation
or to suggest that it wasn't a serious problem. I was just trying to show you
that you shouldn't blame yourself if he doesn't want to change or get help. I
know you probably feel like you're not trying hard enough or not doing the
right things to change him but, like I said, there's only so much you can do if
he refuses to want to change himself.”

“I appreciate that, Brooke. That's good advice,
actually. And, it does make me feel a little less guilty about the whole
thing.”

He looked at his watch and stood up. “It's getting
kinda late. I guess I should go. Thanks again for the help. I really, really
appreciate it.”

His eagerness to get the hell out of dodge caught me a
little by surprise. It usually seemed that he was trying to start conversations
with me. But here we were, I had just opened up to him, and he was shutting it
down and heading out. Still, as much as a part of me wanted to tell him to sit
down and stay longer, another part was reminding me that this was exactly what
I needed — to keep things formal and maintain a distance between us.

“You’re welcome,” I said as I stood. “It was my
pleasure to help.” I went over and opened the front door to let him out. “I
guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

He stopped next to me and stood there a moment. There
was a bit of an awkward pause in which I couldn't decide whether to hug him
goodbye or not. And, judging by the way he looked down at me, it seemed that he,
too, was wrestling with the decision. A jolt of adrenaline passed between us as
our eyes met. Then, as if he’d been a gawky schoolboy, he merely waved goodbye,
walked out, and headed back to his place.

I shut the door and headed to the kitchen, more than a
little confused over the feeling that lingered after every encounter with
Emerson. I needed a glass of wine. Or some chocolate. Maybe both. After a
snack, I packed my books away and then started my nightly routine and made my
way into my bedroom to climb into bed.

That's when I heard it.

Again.

Grunting, groaning, moaning, thumping.

Well,
that
explained why he wanted to get home
so suddenly. I guess Melissa had been waiting for him.

I walked back to the kitchen, poured another glass of
wine to help me sleep, and then climbed back into bed, feeling a little sick to
my stomach for reasons I really couldn’t explain.

CHAPTER
TWELVE

Emerson

I plunked down in my usual seat right behind Brooke,
only to find that she was engaged in what seemed like a pretty in-depth
conversation with Garrett, which, I hate to admit, annoyed the hell out of me.
It really shouldn't have, but it did. She glanced over her shoulder and saw I
was there, but all I got was a quick, emotionless hello before she returned to her
conversation with Garrett.

The fact that she seemed to be doing a lot more
smiling and laughing when talking to him than she did during our conversations only
added to my aversion for him.

Thankfully (for me) the professor walked in and they
had to shut it down. As the lecture began, instead of paying attention like I
needed to do, I began to wonder why I was feeling so annoyed. It wasn't that I
was
trying
to pursue Brooke. I’d even given her the distance and space
she so obviously wanted by leaving directly after we’d finished our study
session the night before. So what was going on here? I mean, I
knew
she
had some sort of attraction to me. I could sense it every time our eyes met.
Yet, at the same time, she seemed determined not to let me get closer to her.

But there she was, chatting and flirting away with
this Garrett guy. What the hell did he have that I didn't?
Damn. Shake it off, Emerson
. I couldn’t remember the last time I
had been like this over a girl. I guess I'd forgotten what it was like to
pursue someone who didn't really want much to do with me. Funny thing was, I
hadn’t even realized I
wanted
to
pursue Brooke.

I grabbed my water bottle, took a swig, and tried my
best to focus on the professor’s lecture and forget about the maddening
thoughts bouncing around inside my head.

It didn't work. I kept glancing at Brooke and Garrett.
I needed a better distraction tactic, so I started taking in-depth notes. That
worked and, as an added bonus, I’d gotten a pretty good grasp on the material
from the lecture.

“Alright, students, that will be all today,” the professor
announced. “Oh, and one more thing: if you want to follow up on what you've
learned today with a practical, I'll block off the lab on Friday. It's totally
optional, so you don't have to do this one, but if you're interested, speak to
your lab partner and sign up to book a time slot. Remember to do your reading,
please.”

The professor dismissed class and everyone started
getting up, chatting and packing their book bags.

Garrett immediately started talking to Brooke, but I
used the opportunity to butt into their conversation. I couldn't resist shooting
Garrett a bit of a smug grin as I did.

“Hey, lab partner,” I said, tapping Brooke on her
shoulder.

“Oh, hey, Emerson,” she replied. “What's up?”

“I'd really like to take a stab at the optional practical
the professor just talked about. Do you have time on Friday to do that?”

“Whew, Friday's pretty busy for me, but I think after
four-thirty could work.”

Shit
. Four-thirty on Fridays was my weekly soccer game. I quickly
decided that didn't matter. I'd skip soccer this week. I didn't want to miss
out on an opportunity to spend time with Brooke.

“Four-thirty is perfect,” I said, smiling through the
lie. “I'll go pencil our names in for that slot on the sign-up sheet.”

“Awesome,” she replied. “I appreciate that. It's great
to have a lab partner who's as enthusiastic about chemistry as I am.”

“Absolutely!” I said, probably a little too
enthusiastically. “So, see you on Friday afternoon then!”

With that, I turned on my heels and left with a
triumphant grin.

***

“Hey, just on time,” I said to Brooke as we converged
on the lab from opposite directions.

“Glad to see you're punctual,” she remarked. “Come on,
let's get everything set up. I don't wanna spend too long in here. Like I said,
Friday is a long day for me with classes. I just left my last one and I'm
feeling pretty beat.”

Without further ado, we stepped into the lab. As with
the previous experiment, Brooke set up the equipment while I measured out the
chemicals. We didn't talk much while this was going on, mainly because I didn't
know what to say or how to start any kind of conversation with her. But I had
no problem watching her as she went about her work. There was just something
about her that drew me in. It wasn’t merely that she looked pretty hot in a lab
coat; she was just beautiful. I found myself noticing that even more as she
bustled around the lab.

“Um…Earth to Emerson.” Her voice pulled me out of my daze
and I realized she was staring at me with an air of amusement playing in her
expression.

“Sorry.”

“Are the chemicals all measured out and ready to go?”
She was clearly trying to suppress a smile. I couldn’t help wondering how long
I’d been staring at her before she snapped me out of it.

“Oh, uh, yeah. They are.”

“Cool. Let's get this show on the road then.”

“Sounds good to me.”

We began the experiment, watching as the concoction
boiled and bubbled, taking detailed notes.

I was trying hard to focus when my phone suddenly
rang. Without checking to see who was calling, I picked it up and answered. I’d
assumed it would be one of my soccer buddies calling to find out where I was
even though I’d sent out a message to everyone earlier explaining that I wouldn’t
be able to make the game that day.

It wasn't a soccer buddy.

It was Melissa.

“Hey, Emerson,” she said.

“Oh, hey, Melissa,” I replied, wanting to kick myself
as soon as her name fell from my lips because I saw Brooke look up at me with
raised eyebrows.

“What are you up to tonight?” Melissa asked.

“Um, I've… Look, I'll call you back later, okay? I'm
in the middle of a really important chemistry lab and I need to pay close
attention. Sorry. Bye.”

I ended the call before she could say anything and
then looked up to find Brooke staring at me.

“Sorry,” I apologized. I probably should have turned
my phone off for the experiment.

“Nah, it's okay,” she replied. “You cut it off pretty
quickly. So it wasn’t a big deal.”

She went back to making notes, but then paused and glanced
up, looking me directly in the eye.

“Is that Melissa girl your girlfriend?” she asked.

She blushed immediately, and I sensed that she
regretted asking the question.

“No, no, nothing like that,” I answered, probably a
little too hastily. “Melissa is just a friend. No, uh, more of an acquaintance.
She's better friends with Chris than she is with me.”

The expression on Brooke’s face said she didn't
believe anything I was saying and that hurt a little since I was telling the
truth. Well, with the exception of the part about Melissa being better friends
with Chris than with me. But I considered that a minor detail. The point was as
much as Melissa
wanted
to be my girlfriend, I
didn't
want that. Not at all. She had been relentless in her
pursuit of me for months, but as attractive as she was, there was simply
nothing more to her than her. I'd dated plenty of girls like her before, and
they hadn't inspired much in me beyond lust, which always fades quickly.

I decided to try deflecting her attention away from my
non-existent love life.

“What about you and that dude, Garrett?” I asked. “You
seem to be getting along really well with him.”

“Are you asking if he and I are dating?”

Her words almost felt like an attack, and I found
myself stammering in an attempt to reply.

“Um, well, not really. Actually, yeah, I guess that is
what I'm asking.”

A hint of a smile turned up one corner of her mouth
but then disappeared. “No, we're not. We're just friends. I don't have a
boyfriend and, to tell you the truth, I don't want one right now. My last
relationship ended…badly. I'm not sure if I'm ready to trust anyone with my
heart again. Besides, I've decided to focus on school this year. You know, get the
best grades I can. A boyfriend can be distracting and I don't need added
distractions in my life right now.”

Once again, she surprised me by being so open and
talkative about the topic. I did feel a little sting that she seemed so adamant
and determined to not have a boyfriend. It was almost like she was saying things
to specifically put me off.

“I can understand that,” I admitted. “Like I told you
before, I'm trying to focus on school this year, too. And you’re right,
distractions don’t help. God knows I have enough of those just being roommates
with Chris,” I joked. “I can relate because I don't want any more complications
in my life than absolutely necessary. So, I guess avoiding relationships, and
all the messy stuff that comes with them, might be the smartest thing to do.”

“Yeah. I'd say it's a wise move. Hey, check it out,”
she directed my attention to the beaker. “The reaction is almost over. You got
all your notes?”

“Um, almost,” I said as I scribbled furiously in my
notebook.

“Aaand it's done,” she said as she turned off the Bunsen
burner.

“Okay, great,” I said. “That was an interesting experiment.”

“Yes, it was. I'll get this stuff cleaned up. You pack
the chemicals away, and then we can be on our way.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I saluted and she rolled her eyes at me
with a brief smile.

We cleaned up in silence. I could sense she was trying
to shut me out again, trying to push me away. But I knew there was also a part
of her calling out to me at the same time, a part that wanted to get closer, a
part that mirrored what I was feeling for her. There were undeniable sparks
between us, I could feel it in the way she looked at me sometimes — especially
when she thought I wasn't looking. I could sense it the way she would sometimes
open up in conversation but then, very consciously and forcefully, try to shut
herself down and put those walls up again.

I didn't want to keep playing this game with her. I
wanted to find out more. I wanted to chip away at those walls.

“Alright,” she said, drying off her hands on a towel,
“everything is all cleaned up. Have you put all the chemicals back in their
places?”

“Yep. All where they should be.”

“Great. I guess we can be on our way then. I’ll see ya
later.”
         
“Hold up,” I said suddenly, not
entirely sure what I was going to say to get her to talk to me.

“Yeah?”

Food. Everyone had to eat. “I'm gonna go eat at a
killer Indian place on the other side of town. I know the owner's son, he went
to high school with me. It's the best Indian joint in town. You wanna come
with? My treat.”

I was totally expecting her to turn me down, to make
up an excuse and leave as fast as possible as she always did. So, when she
replied, I almost fell off my lab stool.

“Actually, that sounds great,” she said. “Let's go.”