Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (32 page)

“I love you, Jazzy.” He smiled against my mouth.

The front door swung open and then I was yanked from Brax’s arms. Brayden pulled me against him, holding me close to his chest.

“Jazzy,” he breathed into my hair.

I brought my hand in front of me and wiped my eyes.

“Hey, Bray.”

He stood a few inches taller than Brax, making it harder for me to hold onto him.

He let go of my waist, eyeing me up and down. “You got skinny?”

“I know,” I frowned embarrassed

“Well, we’re gonna change that.”

Brayden tipped his chin up at Brax, opened the door, and then grabbed a hold of my arm, guiding me into the house.

As soon as I walked inside the foyer, I stopped in my tracks. There she was. My precious baby girl. God, I missed her. I missed her so damn much.

Savanah laid on the couch with her arms above her head and her legs lying flat. She had her binky in her mouth and she was sound asleep.

I let go of Brayden then slid my arms out of my coat, and laid it down on the recliner. Then I slipped my heels off, pushing them against the wall before making my way over to the baby.

I took a seat on the floor, staring intently at Savanah’s face. I couldn’t believe how big she had gotten in a little over three months. She looked so grown up. Her brown curly hair was a bit longer and the little line of bangs she had were pulled back off her forehead with a clip.

She was wearing a pink, black, and white jogging outfit I bought from the Children’s Place. Her legs were solid, her arms were thick, and the chubby cheeks she had were adorable.

Tears streamed down my face, except this time, there was no more sorrow, no more pain. Only happy tears of joy.

“She’s getting big, yeah?” Anthony stood behind me, grinning.

I held onto Savanah’s hand, rubbing circles around her palm. “She has. I can’t believe it.”

Unable to wait any longer, I decided to try and wake her up. I needed to see those dazzling hazel eyes.

“Hey, baby girl,” I cooed into her ear.

Savanah didn’t budge, she didn’t move, she just laid there as still as could be. I took a chance and tried once again, hoping I’d have better luck.

“Mommy’s here, baby. Open your eyes.”

She stirred a little and then rolled to the side, staring right up at me.

“Oh, my gosh.” I had to cover my mouth. My emotions had gotten the best of me.

“Hey, baby girl. It’s Mommy.” I smiled, pushing my tears off my cheeks.

Savanah pulled her little body up, resting her back against the cushion. It seemed like she knew who I was, but she didn’t know what to do.

 “Do you want to come to me? I’ve missed you, baby.” I held out my arms, hoping to God she would reach her arms in my direction.

I knew she probably needed more time, but I couldn’t pick her up without asking her first. I had to try. I needed to hold her. I needed to smell her hair and kiss her cheek. It was tearing me up knowing how much time I had missed being gone.

Savanah dropped her binky. Her bottom lip puckered out and she started to cry.

I placed my hands on each side of her legs, rubbing my fingers up and down her thighs.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s here,” I tried to console her while I tried to hold back my emotions, but I could feel myself breaking any minute.

I had done that. I had pushed my daughter away from me. All those nights, all those mornings she had to wake up without knowing where I was, where I went, or why I left her.

I knew Savanah wasn’t even two yet, but it still gutted me. She sensed when things were wrong, just like anyone else. But never, in my wildest dreams, would I ever have pushed my little girl away on purpose. Going through all of this mess wrecked me. I only hoped it wasn’t too late.

Brax stepped over the coffee table and lifted Savanah on his lap. I stood up, adjusted my dress, and then sat down beside them. Savanah held on to her daddy with a firm grip, not wanting to let up.

I hated that she was scared. Somehow, I had to make it right.

“What’s the matter, Angel?” Brax kissed her forehead.

“She doesn’t want me,” I sat back, trying my best not to lose it. “It’s my own fault, B. I did this to her.”

“Hey.” He grabbed my hand. “Stop. We’re back together now, remember? That’s all that matters. Let the past stay where it belongs and move forward. Reliving every mistake we made isn’t going to serve anyone justice, Jazzy. You’ve got to let it go.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Brax was right, I had to forgive myself for the damage I had caused. If I didn’t, I would never get past everything. He forgave me, his parents forgave me, now I just had to give Savanah time to forgive me. Anyone else would have to wait. Brax and Savanah came first. From now until forever. If they weren’t happy then neither was I.

“You’re right,” I muttered. “I’m sorry. It’s going to take me a little bit to get used to everything again. I guess being alone for so long will do that to you.”

Savanah watched me the entire time Brax and I talked. She didn’t take her eyes off me once. So, I shook off my fears and tried again. I was determined. I had to show her how much I loved her. Savanah deserved to feel loved again, too.

I shifted my body to the side so Brax and Savanah were facing me. I leaned down and used my finger to pull her hand away from Brax.

“You want to come to Mommy?” I asked as I held out my other arm.

Brax stood her up on his legs.

“Mommy wants you, Angel. Go see her.” He leaned forward and blew raspberries against her belly.

Savanah giggled, just like she always did and melted into her father’s touch.

As I was ready to give up and walk away, she reached her hand out and grabbed my nose.

“Hey, baby girl,” I let my tears go, unable to control myself.

I lifted her out of Brax’s arms and placed her on my lap. She sat on my legs and then pulled at my arm where my tattoo was.

“That’s you, Savanah. You’re inside my heart.” I pointed to her name. “And this is Daddy. He’s inside Mommy’s heart, too.”

She let go of my arm and then clapped her hands.

“Momomom…..” She smiled, melting my heart.

I pulled her up, giving her a hug, refusing to let her go.

I was so lost into my daughter touch, not noticing everyone standing around the room watching us.

Amelia had her hand over her heart while Brody, Brax, and Brayden stood there with big smiles on their face.

My family.

I was finally home.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Brax

“I have to say, honey. This is the happiest I have seen my son in a long time.” Ma spoke to Jazz. We were seated around the kitchen table with my parents and brothers, having a welcome home dinner. Ma cooked Jazz’s favorite dish, fettuccini alfredo, and served garlic bread and wine with our meal.

 “I missed him,” Jazz replied, and started to get tearful. “I missed you all. I’m sorry it took so long to come back around. Honestly, I didn’t know how much longer I was going to be able to keep hiding away. After all the help Dr. Aimee had done, she’d really put things into perspective for me. She wasn’t the easiest person to tell my life story to, but that’s only because she wanted me to see the bigger picture. I had to learn that the hardest struggle of it all was in my mind. You all know how bad I get when anxiety takes over, and during the last three and a half months, I’d never been more scared in all my life.”

Jazz shifted in her chair as she continued, “But I’m thankful she helped me. Because this is my home. This is where I am meant to be. You all are my family. Brody. You and Brayden are brothers I never thought I would have. Since high school, Brayden has been one of my best friends and I can’t thank God enough for placing you guys in my life.”

She wiped at her eyes then clasped her hands together, placing them on top of the table, and then glanced in my father’s direction. “Anthony, I’m sorry I ever doubted you. I was scared, and I know it’s not a good enough excuse, but it’s the God’s honest truth. I know now that you love Amelia more than life itself, and I see can see how much you cared for my mom. Both ladies were lucky to have you a part of their lives.”

Savanah clapped her hands in between shoving noodles in her mouth. The attention was turned on her as she smiled big, showing off her little white teeth.

“We’re glad you’re home, honey. I know I’ve said it a hundred times to you and Brax both, but I’m sorry I didn’t speak up sooner. All of this could have been prevented had I just been honest. I hope you can forgive me.”

Jazz stood up, sobbing, with her hand covered over her mouth. She made her way around the kitchen table, until she reached my dad. Then Jazz bent down and gave him a hug, crying in his arms. Dad wrapped his hands around her back and promised that everything would be okay.

Once she was settled down, Jazz walked over to Ma, squatting down in front of her. She took Ma’s hand and said, “I love you, Amelia. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for taking care of my baby girl and for standing behind Brax. I can only imagine how hard it must have been. I just hope one day you can forgive me.”

Ma placed her hands on the side of Jazz’s cheeks, and used her thumb to push away her tears. She smiled down at Jazz and said, “You did the best you could do given the circumstances. I can’t fault you for that. And albeit it was an honor to have the baby here all the time, I’m glad she has you back in her life.” Ma leaned forward and kissed Jazz’s forehead.

“We love you, Jazz. All of us. There’s no doubt about it. Like you said, this is your home. We are your family. Just don’t leave us again. I don’t think those two could survive another night without you around. You’re the glue to the puzzle here, honey, and you fit just right.”

Ma and Jazz hugged each other for a couple of minutes before Jazz made her way back over to the chair next to me.

I was proud of my wife. I knew this had to be hard on her after everything she went through. It was hard on the rest of us too. I was just glad to have her home. She wasn’t allowed out of my sight ever again.

“Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Enough of the mushy shit already. Our girl is home,” Brayden said, as he smiled and winked at Jazz. “So let’s all be happy and finish off this wine. I think it’s time we get Ma and Dad drunk for a change.”

“Oh, no…” Ma held her hand up. “I’m on my third glass already. I think I’ve had enough.”

Brody stood to his feet and reached across the table, grabbing the bottle of wine. “Come on, Ma. Loosen up a little. It’s time to celebrate,” he said as he gave her another refill.

Ma’s cheeks turned a light colored pink and I busted out laughing.

“You feeling good, Ma?” I had to ask. She didn’t drink often but when she did, she was a lot of fun.

Brayden slapped the table, forcing Savanah to jump. Her bottom lip puckered out and she started to cry. Ma reached over and lifted her up, then sat Savanah down on her lap.

I took a piece of garlic bread and shoved it in Brayden’s face. If he was going to make my daughter cry then he’d have to pay. He slapped my hand away then reached for his fork.

“Do it again and I’ll stab your ass,” he said with a smirk.

Laughter erupted through the dining room as I went and pulled Savanah from Ma’s lap. I cleaned her off, then swept up her mess on the floor, watching everyone sitting around the table.

The seven of us had been through hell and back these last couple of months. Although I knew we wouldn’t heal overnight, we were back together, nonetheless.

From here on out, there was no more going back. Our lives could only go up from there.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jazz

Two months later….

Brax walked into the bedroom after putting Savanah to sleep. She had been fussy since yesterday when a sore throat came on. I was worried since she never had one before, but, Dr. Walden, the pediatrician, seemed to think that she would be okay. When we left the doctor’s office this afternoon, Savanah was diagnosed with strep throat. My baby girl was downright miserable. And for the first time as parents, there wasn’t anything Brax or I could have done except try and make her comfortable.

Savanah had always been a Daddy’s girl, but when she was in pain, she didn’t like Brax out of her sight. The bond they shared was priceless. Brax loved our daughter unconditionally. I felt sorry for her future boyfriends. If my husband had his way, Savanah would remain abstinent until she turned thirty.

“I hate this,” Brax said, as he stood in front of his dresser, pulling off his shirt. “I wish this shit would leave her alone.”

I sat my kindle down on the bed and took in the sight before me. I might have been a little biased, because he was my husband, but Brax was the most sexiest guy in the world.

As he stripped off his clothes, my mouth continued to water. The ripple in his six-pack, the muscles on his back, gah….. I couldn’t get enough of him. The way Brax touched me, the way he made me feel. Nothing in the world could ever compare to my husband.

“Uh. Huh,” Brax growled, bringing me out of my daze.

I lifted my head and found him watching me attentively.

“Did you hear what I said, or were you too busy drooling over my body?”

I shook my head, studying his features, and replied, “I…uh…I heard you,” as I tried to keep a straight face.

I leaned over then reached for my glass on the nightstand, and took a drink. I had to get a hold of myself. My hormones were flying off the charts these last couple of weeks.

Brax made his way over to the side of the bed, and climbed on top of the covers. He laid on his side, wrapping his arm around my waist, and then rested his head down on my boob.

“That’s not a pillow you know.” I pushed his forehead off me.