Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (21 page)

Brody, Brayden, Brix, and I had been raised right by my parents. We were taught how to treat girls, what they needed to make them happy, and why we should go out of our way not to hurt them. To top it off, most of that shit was taught by my father. So, for him to be a hypocrite and live the total opposite of how he had raised the three of us—I had no more respect for the man. And now that he had put Ma and my wife in the mix of it, all it did was make me fume even more.

Shit. I need to calm down.
I could feel myself getting ready to rage.

Quietly, Ma turned the handle and pushed opened the door. I followed behind her inside the room. Dad was seated at his desk, working on what looked to be payroll. Ma cleared her throat, forcing Dad to turn around in his chair.

“What’s going on?” He looked back and forth between the two of us.

Ma walked over to the bed, taking a seat on the mattress, her eyes pleading with me to relax.

“B’s here to talk, Ant. You might want to shut things down for now.”

Dad looked down, like he knew nothing good was going to come from this conversation and closed the lid to his laptop. He pulled out a chair next to him and patted the seat.

“Have a seat, son.”

 I shook my head, refusing the offer. I couldn’t do it. If I went anywhere near him, it wouldn’t be pretty. Things would get out of control real fast. I could tell my blood pressure was creeping off the charts. I needed to keep my distance. It was best for the both of us.

“I’m good standing,” I spat, trying to control the rage boiling inside my body.

Dad sat back, crossing one leg over the other and said, “Well, then. What seems to be the problem?”

I’ll give him that; the man had a lot of balls. Was he kidding me? My father was a smart guy. Sometimes too smart for his own good. Clearly, Dad had known by now that he’d been caught in a web of lies he had created.

“You lied,” were the first words to come out of my mouth.

He raised his eyebrows. “About what?”

“Your affair being a one-time deal with Peyton Lander. That’s what. You lied, and I want to know why.”

I tried my best to compose myself, but my heart was beating out of my fucking chest. I wasn’t having much luck.

“And where did you get your information, son?”

That was it. He wasn’t going to treat me like some little bitch, belittling me like a fool. I was over his shenanigans.

“Don’t go there with me, Dad. Don’t push me. It’s been a long fucking morning, and it just started. I’m running with no sleep and a piss poor attitude,” I warned him.

“What the hell is going on?” He raised voice. “Amelia? Care to explain?” Dad searched Ma’s eyes.

Ma looked down, not wanting to get into the middle of it. I promised her I would take care of it. She had her chance before and it only proved she was scared of the confrontation my father would bring.

“This ain’t got nothing to do with Ma. It has to do with YOUR lies,” I yelled, pointing directly at him. “You sat my wife and me down, looked us both in the eyes and told us you had an affair with Peyton, ONCE. Not twice, Dad, ONCE, and it was bullshit.”

Dad’s face automatically turned a fiery color red. You could tell he was full of shit a mile away. If he knew what was best, he would own up to his faults and be honest for once in his fucking life. Because I was five seconds away from losing my cool.

Dad leaned forward and shook his head. “You’re right. It wasn’t just the one time.”

“Then why’d you lie? Why couldn’t you say so from the beginning and not let things get out of control?”

“I’m human, Brax. I make mistakes, too. Forgive me that I didn’t want Jazz to think Peyton was some kind of home-wrecker. She needed to have good memories of her mother, not deal with all of this shit.”

“Forgive you? You’re kidding me, right? I lost everything because of you.”

I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my wallet, handing him a picture I carried around of my two girls. Jazz was lying in bed with Savanah tucked against her chest. We had just gotten home from the hospital that week after welcoming our newborn daughter into the world. The two of them were sleeping peacefully, holding onto one another. It was like a breath of fresh air. I remembered this exact moment like it was yesterday.

“Do you see this?” I asked, while he held the picture in his hands. “This is what you stole from me. Everything I lived for, everything I breathed for is in that picture. But YOU, the one who’s supposed to love me unconditionally, the one who’s supposed to be a role model and not tear my family apart, destroyed it all. You ruined my life.”

Dad set the picture on his lap while tears streamed down his wrinkled face. Call me heartless, but I didn’t give a fuck. He deserved to cry. He deserved to feel every single ounce of my pain. I loved my two girls. They were my life. If I had to choose between living miserably and dying to free them, I would die in a heartbeat and not think twice about it. I loved Jazz and Savanah with everything in me, with all that I had. I was lost without my family.

I was a wreck. For days now, I had cried. For weeks, I had missed my wife. I didn’t know what to do to fix my marriage. I didn’t know where to even begin. Jazz wouldn’t talk to me. She refused to see our daughter. I was at the end of my rope. I thought confronting my father today would help ease the pain, but all it had done was make things worse. I couldn’t live without my wife. I couldn’t live without my family together. I was nothing unless Jazz and Savanah were both beside me.

“I’m sorry,” Dad spoke, looking straight at me. “I was wrong, son. I was wrong and I’ll live with the regret for the rest of my life. Your mother knows what kind of an affect this had on me. She forgave me.” He rubbed his hand over his face and then continued, “Please. Just tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix it and I will, B. I’ll try my damndest to make things right. I never meant to hurt you or Jazz. I never meant for this to get out of control. I could give you a million excuses for my crude behavior, but I’m not going to. It’s pointless. Now that I see all I’ve done, it’s killing me. I want to fix it for you both if you’ll let me.”

He stood up then made his way over to where I had been standing. Then he reached out his arm, handing me back my picture. “For what it’s worth, Jazz loves you, B. She’s just hurting.”

I snatched the picture out of his hands and stared down at it. “Yeah. You’re right. She’s hurting and now she’s gone. And it’s all because of you.”

I sat down on the mattress next to Ma. She was a basket case. I never took a step back and thought about her feelings with everything today. And for that reason, I’d apologize for as long as she’d hear me out. But she had her husband. Her family might have been arguing, but she knew she had us all by her side. She knew we weren’t going anywhere. But I didn’t. I lost my family, because of one selfish mistake, and now it’d destroyed my life.

“Can you at least answer my question?”

“I’ll do my best. But if you’re looking for straight honesty then yes. I won’t ever lie to you again.”

I studied his face carefully. I had to see if he was bullshitting me once again. “Is there any way you could be Jazz’s biological father?”

Dad pondered on the question for a few minutes, which did nothing to resolve my feelings, and by the look on his face alone, I could tell I was in for a rude awakening.

“I don’t believe so, but I’m going to say yes, because I’m not one hundred percent like you are asking.”

I clenched my fists at my sides, ready to jump up and pound his face in. Ma reached across my lap, grabbing my hands, holding on to them tightly.

“Why’d you do it?” 

I needed to know. There had to be something I was missing. My parents seemed to have a close-knit relationship when we were kids. They were affectionate, loving. They did everything together. It didn’t make any sense why he would cheat on Ma.

 “I have no real answer for that. Peyton and I went way back, long before your mother walked into the picture. We had chemistry. We had a strong connection. But when she came back from law school, I was married with four kids, three of whom were my own, one that was weeks away from being born. I had taken on the responsibility of raising Brix when my sister was sentenced to prison. Your mother and I were only in our late twenties, and had a family to raise, a house, and monthly bills to pay. It was no excuse, B. I’m not saying that at all.”

There was nothing left for me to say. There was nothing left I could do. My father had gone out on Ma, leaving her home with four little kids, while he had multiple affairs. During that time, a baby was created, and I married her and called her my wife.

My emotions were tugging at my heart, pulling me in a thousand different directions. My mind said to run. Run as fast as I could, but I couldn’t. I refused. I had waited weeks to see her beautiful face, to feel the touch of her soft skin. Leaving wasn’t an option. I would rather die than to end what Jazz and I had for good. I couldn’t waste another minute. I had to make things right. I couldn’t live without my girl.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Brax

Talking to Dad did nothing except make me even more furious. I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and rip his fucking head off. Dad deserved to feel something, because his tears didn’t mean shit. I had to leave before I was arrested for killing his sorry ass.

I pulled Ma in my arms, giving her a hug goodbye. She held onto me tight before releasing her hold around me.

“Go on,” she said with a sad smile. “I’ve got Savanah. Go get yourself right. She’ll be here when you’re done.”

I kissed her cheek then stood up from the bed. I walked out of the room, not bothering to acknowledge my dad. I couldn’t sit in there and look at him any longer. The man made me sick.

I made my way into the kitchen, grabbed my keys, and slipped on my coat. I couldn’t stand this cold weather. I was ready for summer to come. I checked on Savanah and kissed her forehead, whispering, “I love you,” in her ear.

I took a step back, watching her chest move up and down. It was one of the things I had done since we first brought her home from the hospital. I would count her breaths, praying for her soul. That God would protect my little angel, blessing her with a great life.

It took everything I had in me to leave her there, but it was for the best. I was at the end of my rope. I knew if I didn’t get in my truck and go, everything would go downhill extremely fast.

I reached over the seat and checked my phone, hoping I would have heard something from Jazz today. However, the only call I missed was from Brix. I groaned, slapping the steering wheel with the palm of my hand. Something had to change. I needed my wife now more than ever. If I had to drive around and rip everyone a new asshole until I found my girl, then so be it. That was what I was going to do.

I turned on the Bluetooth through the truck and dialed Brix back. He picked up obnoxiously on the third ring.

“What up, dude?”

“Not in the mood, Brix. I just left my parents,” I said, as I backed out of the driveway. I had no idea where I was going first, but I needed to make up my mind before I missed the exit onto the highway.

“Well, shit,” he said. “What did Pops say?”

“He admitted the truth for once in his life, then begged to fix everything. But it’s too late.” I ran my hand over the scruff on my face.

I hadn’t shaved in weeks, and I admit, I was looking rough. What was the point? My girl wasn’t home to bitch about it, not like she would. Jazz never complained about me having facial hair. She loved me any way she could have me.

“It’s never too late, B,” he stated. “So, where to now? You going into work or what?”

“Nah. I’m going to find my girl. I might need you later. Will you be around?”

 “What are you up to? I don’t like the sound of your voice, dude.”

I laughed, because honestly, I didn’t like the sound of it either. But I was on a mission to find Jazz and knock some sense into her, and this time, no one could stop me.

“It’s been two and a half months, Brix. Two and a half fucking months since I last heard from my wife. What the fuck would you do? Tell me. Please. Because I’m running out of options. I have nothing to lose anymore. Ma’s keeping the baby for now. I can’t deal with this shit. All she does is cry night and day asking for Jazz. I don’t know what to tell her, man. Is she really not coming back? Am I really fucked? Because if so, I need to know. I can’t live like this. If Jazz really wants us to be over, then I’m done. I’m outta here. Ma can raise Savanah right, but I’m gone. If I can’t live with her, then I don’t want to live at all.”

I could feel more tears welling up in my eyes. I’d had enough of this waiting game. I needed to see Jazz and get to the bottom of everything. She was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not.

“Come pick me up. I’ll ride with you.”

“I’m good. Just be on standby in case I get in any trouble.”

I clicked the line, not wanting him to interject my decision and try to stop me. I wasn’t giving up. I had given Jazz enough space. It was time to face me and talk this shit out once and for all.

No more running.

**

I drove into the studio parking lot, looking around for Jazz’s SUV. It had to be there somewhere.

She loved working in photography. My girl’s work was amazing. Anyone who had gotten pictures done by Jazz knew it as well. Her customers meant the world to her. They didn’t just come back once a year; she had customers dedicated to her services pretty much on a quarterly basis.

I drove around both sides of the strip and saw nothing. I went through the hotel parking lot beside the strip. Nothing again. I searched the area, stopping next to every parked car I came into contact with.

I bought her a black, two thousand fourteen Land Rover LR3. You could spot that thing a mile away. It was blacked out from the front to back, giving it a sharp appeal. On the back, Jazz had a business magnet with
Hour Glass Photography
information posted, and white and pink beaded necklaces hanging from her rearview mirror. The bitch was huge and fit Jazz just right. I had to get something safe for her to ride in with the baby. It had cost me a fortune, but I didn’t care. As long as my family drove around in a reliable vehicle, that was all that mattered.