Lost (The Allure Chronicles Book 3)

A
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. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written approval of the author.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Cover Design: Mae I Design & Photography

E
motions are more
important than you think. Their sum is greater than what each stands for individually. Don’t believe me? Try living without them for a day. Or even an hour. I guarantee it will be the dullest hour of your life.

“Daisy?” Violet called my name from afar. “Are you planning to join us today?”

It had been two weeks since I gave up my human life to save the man I loved from giving up the thing that meant most to him. I no longer understood the decision, but it didn’t matter. Nothing did. I was numb, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

“Coming!” I dove under the cold water of the pond again. I gravitated toward extreme temperatures now. Physical sensations were all I had.

I held my breath for as long as I could before surfacing. I kept my eyes closed, letting the water roll down my face. If I focused I could feel each cool drop as it slipped over my bare skin.

I heard the sound of a branch snapping, and I immediately opened my eyes.

Roland stood on the bank holding my towel. “Daisy, darling, there is a warm shower inside.”

I ran my hands through the water, creating small waves in their wake. “Do you need something?”

“You told Violet you were coming.”

“I am.” I swam over to the shore and squeezed the excess water out my hair. I ignored Roland’s eyes on my breasts. I could no longer feel embarrassment, and it was freeing. I tried to pull the towel from his hand, but he held onto it. “Do you mind?”

“You need to be properly trained.” His eyes roamed over my body as though he were memorizing every detail.

“And I am supposed to do that naked?” I pulled for the towel again and this time he released it. I wrapped it around myself. I wasn’t embarrassed, but that didn’t mean I had to give Roland any reason to feed his desire. Desire. One of the few things Allures still seem to feel. The problem was it could only be directed at one of two people: your maker or the one you make.

“I would have absolutely no problem with that.” He smirked, jutting his lip out slightly in a way that was starting to become familiar.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” I ran a hand through my wet hair trying to get out the knots.

“If it makes you feel better I can get naked too.” He brought his hand to the button of his jeans.

I turned my back to him and headed back to the log-cabin style house we were staying in.

Roland grabbed my shoulder and turned me to look at him. “You want me, Daisy. I am the only one who can make you feel again.”

“I gave in. I’m an Allure, but that doesn’t mean I will ever give in to you.” Being numb was my new reality, and eventually I’d get used to it.

“Why not?” Roland let out a deep breath. “It is not as though you still care about him. You can’t.”

“You’re right. I don’t care. But I also don’t care about you.” I didn’t care about anything. My past life felt like a distant memory I could no longer clearly picture.

“But you want me. It is the only thing you feel.”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Yes.” The smirk returned to his lips, and I wanted to wipe it off. It was the closest thing to an emotional response I’d had in weeks.

“I feel the heat. I feel the cold.”

“And they are more extreme for you. But that won’t last. The kick you get from them will soon disappear, and then you will turn to me.” He put his hand on his chest.

“You lost your maker. That sucks. But I’m not her, nor am I here to replace her.”

“Yet you are. You have her essence, which is why we have this connection between us.”

“Get off on your own, Roland.” I walked into the house. This time he didn’t grab my shoulder.

Violet was waiting right inside the door. “You need to manipulate.”

“I know.” I could feel the uncomfortable ache building.

A broad smile crossed her face. “You admitted it so easily!”

“Yeah, well, I’m up for it as long as we leave him behind.” I pointed behind me to where I knew Roland would be waiting.

Violet laughed. “You know you could just have sex with him. Get it over with.”

“You should have warned me.”

“Warned you about what exactly?” She pulled a hair tie out of her hair and shook out her long black hair.

“The sex craze stuff.”

“I happen to think it is a positive side to being an Allure. Besides, he will normalize eventually. Look at Hugh and me.”

“You guys go at it every night. What’s your point?”

She laughed. “I kind of miss the old sweet, innocent you.”

“Too bad. She’s gone.” I headed down the hall to the bedroom I was using. I pulled out one of the ten strapless dresses Violet had procured for me. I was going to have to start picking out my own clothes. I finally understood she was doing it to annoy Roland, and I saw no reason for playing into their games.

“Louie is going to demand to see you soon.” The male voice carried into my room. I didn’t need to turn around to know Roland was standing in the doorway watching me. He was like a dog.

I turned and glared. “Then he will demand to see me.”

“He would worry less about your full transformation if you were giving in to your natural instincts. It would help keep him at bay.”

“I already told Violet I would manipulate today. You heard us talking. You always hear us talking.”

“I meant another natural instinct.” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“You are like a teenage boy. Stop it.”

“You ready?” Violet called down the hall.

“Yes. But Roland stays here.” I stepped around Roland and headed toward the front door.

“We can have a girl’s day.” Violet linked her arm with mine.

“You hear that, Roland? Girl’s day.” I smiled at him.

“Maybe post manipulation you will be in a better mood.” He shrugged.

“I’m an Allure. I have no moods.”

“Oh yes, you do.”

I ignored Roland and headed out the door.

“Where are we going for this outing?” I waited for Violet to unlock her Maserati.

“Depends on what kind of girl’s day you want to have.” She started the car.

“Meaning?” It always paid to ask the right questions with Violet. Otherwise you never knew what you were in for.

“We could go to the spa, go shopping, whatever sounds good.”

“Spa? I don’t think we’re going to do any good manipulating there.” I found it much easier with men, and I figured there might be less of them at a spa.

“Fine, then where?”

“Can we go to the marina? I’m sure we can manipulate some humans into taking us out for a ride.” I still loved the water. At least that hadn’t changed. We were staying right outside an aging resort town in Massachusetts. The place had seen better days, but it still had access to the water.

Violet grinned. “That’s my girl.”

I laughed. “See? Just keep Roland away, and I am a good Allure.”

She pulled out of the gravel driveway. “I keep telling you have sex with him, and he will normalize. Besides, you’ll get something out of the deal too.” She raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t want anything out of the deal.” I wanted to end the numbness, but sex with Roland wasn’t the way I would do it.

“What’s holding you back?”

“Him.”

Violet chuckled. “Oh come on, he’s physically attractive. There is no denying that. You don’t lose the ability to discern that by becoming an Allure.”

“Who said I was?” My aversion had nothing to do with physical attraction.

“Then the pull isn’t there?” She turned onto the main road in town. “Because I don’t believe that could be possible since you felt the calm before you turned completely.”

“I feel the pull. I am choosing to ignore it.”

She smiled. “Ah, I see. Being stubborn. Trying to torture yourself. That means you still have a little bit of the human in you left. But it will disappear soon.”

“I lost my old self. I can promise you that.” When I was human I’d never been numb. It felt like the physical sensation of your foot falling asleep. Not painful, but uncomfortable. It had only grown worse in the few weeks since my change.

“And I can promise you there has to be something left. Otherwise you’d want Roland as much as he wants you.”

“That would be impossible.” I would never want something as strongly as Roland seemed to want me.

She laughed. “If his attention bothers you, maybe you shouldn’t swim naked tomorrow morning.”

“I had his attention before that.”

“Very true.” She pulled into the lot of the marina. There was only a smattering of cars and trucks. It was a smaller crowd than usual for the middle of the day.

We got out and headed toward the grey wooden boardwalk.

I surveyed the sparse crowd. There were a few families, a group of teens, and finally a cluster of guys in their twenties loading a couple of large coolers onto a party boat.

“I assume you are thinking what I am thinking.” Violet leaned in toward me as we walked.

“Of course. No kids, so it doesn’t leave too many options.” The no kids-policy was one of the first rules Violet taught me, but the aversion to it was there naturally.

“It’s going to be an interesting afternoon.” She laughed.

“Let’s do this.” I was in a hurry to dull the numbness, even if it was for a short period of time. Everything was temporary.

Violet started toward the guys. “Hello boys.”

One of the guys who was holding a cooler looked over. He suddenly dropped the cooler, and beer cans rolled all over the wooden dock.

His buddies laughed at him.

Violet nudged me. “You start.”

“Why?” I usually let her take the lead because she was good at it.

“Because you need to.”

“Fine.” I walked over to where the guy was picking up the last few cans. I crouched down beside him to help. “Hi, I’m sorry we startled you.” I held out one of the cans.

“Oh. No. It’s my fault.” He took the can, holding on to my hand for a moment before accepting the cold aluminum. “You don’t have to help.”

“I don’t mind.” I smiled.

His eyes widened. “What can I do to thank you?”

“For cleaning up your cans?”

“Yeah. I owe you.” He watched me intently. I could feel his need.
His desire.
There had to be another emotion. Appreciation. That was the one I was looking for. But it wasn’t there.

I stood up, deflated. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Please, anything.”

Violet was talking to the guy’s friends and frowned when she saw me stepping away from him. “Lana, these guys invited us for a ride on their boat.”

Lana
. I was still getting used to the fake names. Violet said it was important so Owen didn’t find me. She said it would hurt him to see me, and I knew somewhere deep inside I didn’t want him getting hurt.

“Oh, isn’t that nice.” I walked over to the other guys, “I’m Lana. Nice to meet you.”

“Hey, I’m Dale.” The guy with the cans hurried over and shoved his hand in my face. I felt around. Jealousy. At least it was a different emotion. I was so tired of desire.

I smiled slightly before turning my attention back to his friends. One of them seemed amused by my brush off and was eager to shake my hand. “I’m Rhy.”

“Hi, Rhy.” I tilted my head to the side. I tried to ignore his desire so I could latch on to Dale’s jealousy, but it was so difficult. I had to manage it. I had to prove I could manipulate another emotion.

“I know what you’re doing,” Violet whispered in my ear.

“And?” I kept my eyes on Rhy as I spoke.

“And, I am interested to see how this goes.” She brushed her hand across my arm. “Is everyone ready?” She said with a smile.

I could feel the happiness rolling off the guys as Violet manipulated them. I soaked it in. It had been far too long since I had felt happiness. My body buzzed, but all too quickly it faded away. Hopefully Violet would manipulate more.

I let Rhy help me onto the boat, all the while focusing on Dale’s jealousy. It was strong, but nothing compared to his desire. And Rhy’s desire, which was all the more intense because he knew I’d chosen him over his friend.

“Take a seat over here,” Rhy eagerly helped me take a seat next to him.

“Thank you,” I thanked him while looking right at Dale. I’d hoped that would make him mad. Hugh talked about how good anger tasted, but instead I only sensed desire.

Dale was grinning. The guy thought my look was an invitation, and he was trying to give me a flirtatious look back. At least that’s what I thought the half-wink was.

Violet laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Mike, the guy next to her asked.

“Nothing at all.”

By the time we pulled out of the marina, I was already bored. I could no longer even feel the happiness Violet was using. All I could feel was the desire bubbling around on all sides of me. I should have been used to it. I’d been dealing with that sort of attention since first being given Seduction’s Kiss, but this was different. I couldn’t handle the intensity.

“Want a beer?” Rhy turned to me.

“No thanks.” I looked out at the water. We were moving slowly away from the marina.

“Not a beer kind of girl?” He put a hand on my leg. “What kind of girl are you?” His desire nearly blinded me, begging me to take it in. I didn’t want it.

“I’m going to swim back.” I needed to find other emotions. My body craved any emotion other than desire, and it wasn’t going to be satisfied without them.

“Uh, what?” Dale asked. “We can just take the boat back in.”

“No. I don’t mind swimming.” I dove into the water, eating up the surprise that came from everyone on the boat. I let it spread throughout my body as I went through the motions of swimming.

I wasn’t surprised to hear the splash moments later when Violet joined me.

She easily caught up with my slow pace. The surprise emotion had died away, and I was in no rush to reach the shore. “Ok, you have three choices.”

“What choices?” I focused on the cold water. It felt better than the numbness or the desire that still fought to seep into me.

“You can spend your existence bored out of your mind and hungry.”

“What are the others?” I climbed up the ladder onto the dock. I ignored the stares of the people. At least my dress wasn’t white.