Lost Soul (18 page)

chapter sixteen

Michael didn’t think it was possible, but Maxwell Covington was even more obnoxious to be around when he was successful than when he was a failure.
 
Maxwell’s sales had greatly improved since he first started traveling around the country touting Covington Electronics and the success had gone straight to his head.
 
Now that he consistently raked in high dollar sales with each trip, he insisted on staying in the finest hotels and schmoozing with his clients at the fanciest restaurants, where he still spent his nights getting wasted but this time it was in celebration instead of defeat.
 
Plus, the women he met there were a lot more enticing and he frequently found one who was happy to spend the evening with the arrogant prince of the technology kingdom.

Michael could hardly stand to be in the same room as Maxwell most of the time, but especially when he was romancing a woman.
 
It disgusted him and made him feel guilty and envious all at the same time.
 
Each little whimper and moan brought memories of Michael’s one and only night of passion with the love of his life.
 
It was so unfair that Maxwell was free to sleep with any woman who caught his eye while Michael was forbidden to be with the one woman he truly loved.
 
The envy ate at him till he thought he’d rather spend the rest of his eternity in hell than one more moment guarding Maxwell Covington.

Tonight was even worse than usual because Maxwell was celebrating a promotion of sorts.
 
He was still in sales, but he would now be targeting larger companies with bigger budgets in better places than the podunk towns he had been visiting.
 
There was even talk of international accounts and Maxwell was imagining adventurous travels to exotic locations across the globe.
 
He was celebrating with an open bar tab and a sexy blonde on each arm.
 
When talk turned to a threesome, Michael knew he couldn’t stand another minute in Maxwell’s presence that night.

He had been contemplating the idea of visiting Jessica again for weeks and the siren song of his desire was growing too loud to ignore.
 
All his worries about leaving Maxwell unguarded last time had proven unfounded.
 
Maxwell had done exactly what Michael had predicted in the first place.
 
He drank till late that night then quickly fell asleep in his hotel room.
 
When Michael returned in the morning, Maxwell was still sleeping soundly, without a single scratch.

The more he thought about it, the more Michael decided that guardian angels were practically unnecessary for anyone besides the young and the disabled.
 
The natural survival instinct was strong, and most adults did a fairly good job of protecting themselves.
 
Certain situations called for more caution, obviously, but the typical human life was not exactly fraught with peril.
 
Most people lived half their lives planted in front of their TVs!

As Maxwell and his arm candy made their way to the car, Michael decided it was worth the risk to go see Jessica again.
 
He followed Maxwell home and made sure no intruders were waiting to ambush him and no appliances were left to ignite, but once he was satisfied that Maxwell would be safely fornicating the rest of the night away, Michael took a deep breath and left his charge in the hands of fate.

He didn’t bother checking Jessica’s home.
 
He was almost positive she would be at work on a Friday night.
 
When he arrived at the Night Out and saw Jessica’s car, a smile as wide as Lake Michigan took over his face and he quickly affected his human persona and entered the little bar.

A few of the patrons stared at him strangely and he tried to dim his overeager expression, but one glance at Jessica gliding across the room with a full tray of drinks was all it took to reignite his thousand watt smile.
 
She didn’t see him at first, so he took the opportunity to admire her from afar as she laughed and joked with the clientele, her soft black hair swinging behind her as she sashayed around the room in her tight shorts and tank.
 
Her skin glowed a golden bronze like she had been sunbathing all day instead of waiting tables and he could hear her laugh tinkling above the din of the noisy crowd.

He watched as she turned this way and that, never quite looking his way until finally, her eyes glanced up from her order form and the bright smile that lit her face suddenly morphed into a look of shock.
 
Michael’s own smile faltered as he tried to interpret her expression, but her look of surprise quickly transformed to joy as her brain registered the truth of his presence and she dropped her notepad as she rushed towards him, face glowing like a proverbial angel.

Michael crossed the room in two strides to take her into his arms.
 
Burying his face in her hair and nuzzling her neck, he held the embrace till she started chuckling and pushed him away so she could see his face.

“Michael!
 
I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” she said, a hint of sadness shadowing her joy.

“I’ve wanted to come so many times,” Michael responded truthfully.
 
He had thought of nothing else practically every night since his last visit.

“You had another client in Allendale?” Jessica asked.

“No,” Michael admitted, shaking his head, “not really.
 
But I just couldn’t stop thinking about you, Jessica.
 
I had to see you again.
 
Even if just for a moment.”
 
His voice hinted at his hidden fear — that she wouldn’t want to see him again, that his absence had gone unmourned, that he was nothing but a meaningless one night stand to her, quickly forgotten when the next beau came along.

Jessica nodded, misinterpreting his sadness.
 
“It’s okay, Michael.
 
I understand if you can’t stay.
 
I’m just happy to see you again.
 
I’ll take whatever time you can spare.”

“Really?” Michael’s eyes begged hers for honesty.
 
“Because I understand if you don’t want to waste any more time with me.
 
I’m sure there are other things you’d rather do.”

“No moment with you could ever be wasted,” Jessica replied, a sweet smile gracing her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“My shift’s over soon.
 
Will you wait for me?” Jessica asked, and Michael nodded.
 
He would wait forever if it meant another evening alone with her.
 
“I’ll bring you a beer,” she promised, leading him by the hand to the table where they’d first met.

Michael settled himself in a chair and watched as she cleared a few tables and distributed liquor to thirsty customers, each step she took like a ballet.
 
She was a flower in full bloom, her delicate petals unfurling in the sunshine of his watchful gaze.
 
Michael’s heart swelled with happiness and pride.

Jessica dashed off to finish her duties, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.
 
Her heart soared at the thought of another night with Michael, but how could he ever forgive her if she told him what she had done?
 
Would he understand the impossibleness of her situation?
 
Or would he hate her for taking away his chance at a family?
 
He had implied that he might come back someday, but he’d made no promises.
 
He’d never even given her his number!
 
She wouldn’t even tell him, she decided, justifying her choices.
 
What was done was done and telling him couldn’t change that, it could only change how he felt about her, and that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.

With her mind made up, Jessica decided she would enjoy every moment she had with Michael and not let her guilt ruin her joy.
 
She would forget about the mistakes of the past and save tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow.
 
Tonight she would simply revel in the pleasure of his company and squeeze every drop of happiness out of their time together.
 
She felt her sadness sink to the bottom of her soul and bury itself in the deepest confines of her heart as her joy bubbled up and overflowed till she felt like she would burst.

Michael hadn’t really accepted the possibility that Jessica might not be happy to see him again until he saw the conflicted look on her face.
 
How arrogant of him to assume she would welcome him with open arms!
 
He was no one to her, a stranger, just some guy she met in a bar — how cliche was that?
 
She hadn’t been pining over him for the last 20 years like he had.
 
When she kissed him he knew she really did want him, but it was only after her shift was over and she came to take him home that he realized her face had lost that initial reservation and now glowed with nothing but joy.
 
He wished he could see inside her head and understand what she was thinking, if only to assuage her fears.
 
But he couldn’t do that, not really.
 
He couldn’t offer her anything but this one more night.
 
His heart broke at that realization.
 
He wanted to be everything for her, everything she needed, everything she wanted, but all he could offer her was a few hours of pleasure and another hasty goodbye.
 
Michael grieved for the life he could never have.

If this was all he had he was desperate to make the most of it, so Michael buried his sorrow and focused on enjoying the moment — the way her cheeks shined under the lights, the delicate structure of her hand in his, the cozy sense of companionship he felt when their hips bumped against each other as they walked.
 
Jessica smiled sweetly up at him as he squeezed her hand and the two walked hand in hand to the parking lot.

“Jessica, how about a real date tonight?” Michael offered, surprising himself with his spur of the moment suggestion.
 
“Let me take you to dinner, or dancing, or even to the movies.
 
I don’t want you to think I just came here for sex.”

Jessica blushed at his straightforwardness.
 
“I don’t think that, Michael,” she assured him, stopping to run her fingers down the side of his face.
 
“But we can do one of those things if you like.
 
I’m just happy to see you again.
 
It doesn’t really matter what we do.
 
But can we go back to my place first?
 
I need to change.”

“Sure, of course!” Michael replied, realizing she was still wearing her uniform.
 
He hadn’t noticed it before, he only saw her beauty.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked when they arrived at her apartment.
 
Everything looked exactly the same and for some reason it gave Michael comfort.

“Dinner would be nice; I am a little hungry,” she replied, slipping a sweater over her head.
 
“Someplace quiet where we can talk, maybe.”

A few minutes later they were leaning over the table, gazing into one another’s eyes as a small votive candle lit their faces from below.
 
Michael didn’t think Jessica could ever look more beautiful than she did right at that moment, her eyes twinkling in the candlelight.

He was desperate for the chance to talk to her and yet reluctant at the same time.
 
He wanted to know every detail of her life that he had missed, but what if he didn’t like the answers?
 
Where had she moved when she left the little bungalow he still thought of as home?
 
Had she done well in school?
 
Was she well-liked and popular or did she struggle to fit in?
 
If she was half as beautiful as a school-ager as she was now, he wondered if her looks had won her more admirers or rivals.
 
He knew it would seem odd for him to ask such personal questions when they were still practically strangers, and what could he tell her if she asked him the same questions?
 
No, it was too risky to get personal.
 
He would just have to pretend to be exactly what he said he was, a random businessman passing through who wanted the company of a lovely lady.

“Do you like to go out on your nights off?” Michael asked, figuring that was safe enough to ask.

Jessica shrugged.
 
“I usually just stay home.
 
I get enough excitement working at the Night Out.
 
On my days off I prefer the quiet.”
 
What she didn’t tell him was how she was trying to avoid the kind of party scenes that ruined her life in the first place.

“Me too,” Michael agreed.
 
“This is so much nicer than any party to me.
 
Soft music, good food, and pleasant company.”
 
He smiled at her till she felt her insides melt.

Jessica grinned and dropped her head at the compliment.

“So what do you like to do in your free time?”

“I really like to read,” Jessica offered.
 
She was hesitant to reveal how much time she wasted vegged out in front of the TV watching endless episodes of
Friends
and
ER
.
 
Her love of books seemed like a much more acceptable pastime.