Lost Love Found (69 page)

Laughing, Padraic Burke pinioned her arms behind her back and kissed her soundly. “
My
hag,” he amended, and kissed her again.

“You beast,” she scolded him breathlessly, but her eyes were bright with love.

Lord Bliss saw that his wife was laughing softly. Her eyes met her husband’s in complete understanding. Why, she wondered, had they not seen Padraic’s love for Valentina? Why had they not realized that Valentina’s reluctance to choose a suitor stemmed not from overfestidiousness, but rather from a lack of understanding of her own feelings?

“If you intend a wedding before Twelfth Night,” Lady Bliss said, “then it must, of necessity, be a small wedding.”

“The family,” Padraic and Valentina said in unison.

“I must go back up to court immediately afterward,” Valentina said quietly. “I promised the queen I should when I returned. I cannot break that promise, particularly now that she is so poorly.”

“How poorly?” demanded Conn.

“Tom and I went to court Christmas night,” Padraic told him. “From a distance, she looked feeble. The doctors claim she will live another few years, but those close to her fear she will not see the spring. I am afraid I must agree with them. The queen is in her seventieth year, and her health has deteriorated terribly.”

“Poor Bess,” Conn said softly. “I shall not see her again in this life. God bless her.”

“You could come to court with us, Papa,” Valentina said.

“No, my dear,” said Lord Bliss. “Bess would not like it if I saw her at less than her best. Remember, I served her when she was at her zenith, and there are few left who did. Only Ralegh and myself. I shall not visit that pain upon her. I shall remember her in all her glory, which is how she would like it.”

“You have not lost your understanding of women, my lord,” his wife said quietly.

“May I never lose it, Aidan,” he told her. “Now, what date shall we set for this wedding?”

“I do not think we have a great choice in the matter, Papa,” Valentina said. “Today is the next to the last day of December.”

“So we shall be wed January first,” Lord Burke said. “I can think of no better way to begin the new year than by taking you for my wife, Val.” He drew her back into his arms, his aquamarine-blue eyes loving her openly.

“Padraic! Tis impossible!” declared his aunt. “I cannot arrange a wedding in two days!”

“Why not, Mama?” Valentina said. Her eyes were fastened on Padraic’s. “The weather will not allow us to send for many relatives anyway. There is time to make a bride’s cake. Why should we not be wed in two days? I would have a little time with my husband before I travel to court.”

“But Anne is near to delivering another child, and Bevin is in Ireland, and—”

“Maggie shall stand up for me, Mama! I can think of no one better, though she will eclipse me with her beauty,” Valentina said, smiling at her youngest sister.

“Colin, Payton, and Jemmie are here.” Conn continued with his daughter’s positive train of thought. “When Padraic rides home to Queen’s Malvern, he will find that Robin and his family, Willow and her family, and his sister Deirdre and her family are quite near.”

“You are sending me out into the cold to ride
home
?” Lord Burke demanded of his uncle, soon to be his father-in-law.

“Aye, I am.” Conn grinned. “If you don’t get home soon, my lad, your mother will be knocking at my door, demanding to know where you are. I can assure you that she already knows you’re here. There is nothing that happens in this part of the country that your mother does not know about first. I would prefer that she learn of your impending nuptials from you, not through some mysterious method known only to Skye.

“Your wedding will begin at half after four o’clock in the afternoon, on January the first, my lord. I do not want to see you before then, sir! Is that understood?”

“Perfectly, my lord,” Padraic answered. He bent to kiss Valentina. “In two days you will be mine for all time, Val,” he murmured against her mouth.

“And you
mine
, my lord,” she answered him.

“You are certain?”

“I am certain,” she said.

“Wear a red gown,” he said. “The color suits you.” He kissed her hand.

“If it pleases you, my lord,” she answered, sweeping him a deep curtsy.

Lord Burke kissed his fingertips and then touched her lips with his fingers.

“Why, Cousin Padraic is most romantic,” Maggie noted when Lord Burke had departed. “I have never before realized it. He always seemed quiet, almost dull.”

Valentina laughed. “If there is one thing Padraic is not, Maggie, ’tis dull. No, never dull!”

Dawn had scarcely broken the following morning when there came a great knocking on the door. The sleepy servant girl laying the fires hurried to answer the pounding and admitted Lady de Marisco. Skye swept into her brother’s house, flinging her heavy fur-lined cloak at the startled maidservant, and demanded, “Is no one in this house up yet, with my son’s wedding to be celebrated tomorrow?”

The poor servant’s mouth fell open, for she had no knowledge of the family, being on the lowest rung of Pearroc Royal’s hierarchy. Lady de Marisco swept past the dumbfounded girl and up the staircase. She seemed to know exactly where she was going, and it wasn’t the poor maidservant’s business, so she went back to the fires, which was her job.

Skye moved upstairs into the hallway leading to the family bedchambers. She passed her brother and sister-in-law’s spacious apartment, which had been built in the new wing of the house just before the twins were born, hurrying to the bedchamber of her brother’s eldest child. She opened the door and entered. “Good morning, Valentina,” she said. “I knew you would be awake, even if no one else was.”

“I could not sleep,” Valentina admitted, staring out her window into the winter’s dawn. “Bridal nerves, I suspect.”

“Or memories of a less-than-pleasant nature,” Skye said quietly. “We will speak of them now, Valentina, and then you will put them from you, as I put similar memories from me over thirty years ago.” Lady de Marisco bent and stirred the fire in the grate to new life, adding bits of coal and wood. The flame, born anew, began to take the chill from the room. Then, her niece watching her, Skye sat down in the single chair by the fireplace, smoothing her dark green velvet skirt with her long graceful fingers.

“Padraic told you, didn’t he?” Valentina sighed. She came and sat on a small tapestried stool at her aunt’s side.

“Padraic told me what he knows, which, I suspect, is very little. I can guess the rest,” Skye answered.

“I cannot tell Mama,” Valentina said. “She will only wring her hands and say that she warned me not to go. I
had
to, Aunt Skye! I needed to learn that Javid Khan was not my father! I needed to know that Sultan Murad was not my father! I had to be certain that Papa was really my father! I cannot explain it any further. I simply had to learn the truth.”

“Was it worth the cost, Valentina?” Skye asked her.

Valentina became lost in thought for a long moment, then she said, “I have learned, Aunt, that everything in this world has its price, even knowledge. I do not think I could have lived in peace the rest of my life with Mag’s words in my heart. I had to learn the truth, and if I paid a dreadful price for that truth, yes, it was worth it. Yes! I know it was right for me to go. Yet one thing puzzles me, and I cannot reason it out in my mind.”

“What puzzles you, my dear?” Skye stroked her niece’s dark head. Valentina was going to make Padraic the most perfect wife. She would no longer have to worry about her youngest son.

“How can a woman hate and despise a man, yet still react to his lovemaking? How can a woman give a man pleasure when she does not want to give him pleasure? I do not understand it at all.”

“There are two forms of rape, Valentina,” Skye began. “There is violent rape where a man forces a woman to his will. Then there is seductive rape. Perhaps that is worse, for seduction is difficult to deal with, my dear. After all, the surroundings are pleasant and comfortable. The man is persistent but loving. He will have his way with you whether you will or no, but he will have it in a kindly, rather than violent, fashion. He seduces your body while he seduces your mind. Your emotions are rejecting him, but it is your body he wants first, so he ignores the rest—for a time. Later, he attempts to gain more than just your body.

“A woman’s body is sensitive. It is very much like a fine musical instrument. It responds even when you do not want it to respond, particularly if the touch is skilled. The rational part of you is saying
no
, but your body is saying
yes
. It seems to be the way in which women are fashioned, and I cannot explain it beyond that. Your body’s reaction to Cicalazade Pasha was a normal one. I know, for I, too, was forced to yield myself to a man I hated.”

Valentina stared hard as her aunt’s revelation sank in.

“When Padraic was a new-born infant, his father found himself in a strange difficulty for a man. Niall was a slave in the harem of an Ottoman princess in the city of Fez in Algiers. I had been led to believe that he was dead. I had accepted a political marriage arranged by the queen so that I could protect the Burke lands in Ireland. Fortunately, when I learned that Niall was still alive, I was newly widowed.

“I believed that I could rescue Niall, and so with the help of my friend, Osman the Astrologer, I became a slave girl named Muna. I was presented to Osman’s nephew, Kedar, who was a resident of Fez, a city closed to foreigners. As a member of lord Kedar’s household, I was able to enter Fez. There was no other way for me to get to Niall.

“Since Kedar knew me as a slave and nothing else, I was forced to accept his loving attentions. He became obsessed with me. The more I seemed to yield myself, the more he desired of me. I have never in my entire lifetime felt more used or abused by a man, Valentina, and by the time I was subjected to this, my experience with love and lovemaking was far broader than yours has been, dear child.

“I was fed aphrodisiacs, massaged with aphrodisiacs, made to please my master’s perverse passion with an ivory dildo that had been fashioned to the exact size and shape of his manhood, which was extraordinarily large. It amused him to arouse me to a frenzy with hands and tongue and then force me to use that damned ivory obscenity on myself while he watched. He enjoyed having several women together, taking them in turn or watching while they used each other. I believe there is nothing, Valentina, that you could possibly tell me that I have not experienced.

“I finally rescued Niall. But then he died, immediately after he was rescued. I wondered if what I had done was foolish, for it had all been for nothing. Then my beloved Adam insisted that we wed. He would simply not accept a refusal. I realized that if I was ever to be happy again, I must put all the terrible memories behind me. I must never again dwell on what had happened in Algiers. “She paused for a moment.

“Tell me what you would not tell Padraic, my dear Valentina. Tell me, then put those terrible memories aside. Tell me!” Skye caught Valentina’s hands in hers and held them tightly.

Valentina looked up at Skye, her eyes haunted, filled with pain. Suddenly she began to speak, sobbing. “At least your sacrifice had some meaning, Aunt. I was kidnapped off the streets of Istanbul to be the vizier’s love slave! What you did, you did for love of Padraic’s father. I have no such excuse! It was an accident, not a mission.

“I tried! Oh, Aunt, I tried not to yield to him, but in the end I could not stop myself!” Her words poured out, tumbling one after the other as she told Skye the entire story of her nearly four-month captivity.

Skye did not interrupt. When Valentina had finally finished, Lady de Marisco said quietly, “It was not your fault that you were kidnapped, Valentina. And you did exactly what I would have done in that situation. You struggled to survive, and you did survive. No person, my dear, has the right to destroy another person’s spirit so entirely that his victim finds death preferable to an unendurable life! It is over, Valentina. It is a part of your life that is now in the past. There is no shame attached to your tragic time in Istanbul. Indeed, Padraic tells me you are responsible for saving the lives of ten small children and a young girl. Osman the Astrologer, my old friend, believes that our lives follow chosen paths and have specific purposes. Perhaps it was your fate, to be in Istanbul when you were and to have the vizier in your debt, so you might save those lives.

“Now, dry your eyes, Valentina. My son’s bride must be beautiful.”

Valentina flung her arms about Skye’s neck and hugged her. “Aunt, I love you so very much!” she said. “I am so glad Padraic is your son!”

Skye hugged her back, chuckling. “The devil took his time declaring himself, didn’t he?” she said. “To think that my son would be such a shy fellow! God knows that was not the case with his father! Demanded the
droit de seigneur
of me on my wedding night to another man and had my virginity of me while my first husband fumed and raged in my father’s hall. But that’s another story for another time.” She laughed.

“Padraic was indeed slow to declare himself, Aunt,” Valentina defended her betrothed, “but he would not be bested by the persistent Tom Ashburne!”

“He’s made love to you again?” asked Skye. “I hope he is proving to be a satisfying lover, my dear.”

Valentina blushed furiously. “Aunt! What a question!” Then she laughed. “Beneath furs, in the Tatar encampment, and it was wonderful!”

“Not since?” Lady de Marisco was scandalized. She looked as if she might take her son to task.

“We were kept separated in the Kira house and then we were separated by Cicalazade Pasha. Aboard ship we were crowded with all of the extra passengers. There was simply no time or place,” Valentina explained.

“I hope my son will not prove so laggard after your marriage, but if he does, speak to me. I will see the situation corrected!” Skye declared firmly.

“Are forty-two grandchildren not enough for you, Aunt?” Valentina teased.

“Certainly not!” Lady de Marisco said emphatically. “I must have at least fifty!” But I have another granddaughter, Skye thought silently. I have a grandchild I have never seen, nor will I ever. A momentary sadness overwhelmed her, but she hid it well.