Lost Love Found (43 page)

“They had no sooner gone than a young groom who had been preparing my horse for me crept from the burning stables. He had hidden beneath a pile of straw and been overlooked. He saw me lying on the ground and he stopped to examine me. When he saw that I was alive, though grievously injured, he helped me escape. My brother, in his mad frenzy, had not even bothered to gather up the horses! Orda rescued them from the stables, for at that point only the roof was ablaze. He freed all, keeping two for us. He placed me on one of the animals and we began our long journey home.

“I was unconscious or semiconscious for those several weeks. Orda took care of me. He made our way to an undistinguished seacoast town on the Black Sea and, selling the horses, purchased us passage to the Crimea.

“I don’t even remember the voyage. When we reached Kaffa, Orda hid me until he could seek out my parents. We had to be very careful lest we run into my brother. It was my mother’s wise decision that my survival from Temur’s latest murderous attack be kept a secret until my twin could be captured and dealt with in Tatar fashion.

“When it became obvious that capturing him was not going to be an easy matter, an emissary was sent to Sultan Murad asking for news about Prince Javid Khan’s wife, the princess Marjallah. Our people were told that the princess had died of her grief and that the sultan’s janissaries had killed Temur Khan. Fortunately, I remained in hiding until the statement about Temur Khan’s death was proven false. My brother, with the devil’s luck, had escaped.

“It was decided that I would remain in hiding. Our people would believe I was dead. My father believed it only a matter of time before Temur was captured, but while my brother was violent and cruel, he was never stupid. The weeks stretched into months, and the months into years. Temur continued to roam the steppes freely, drawing to him all manner of malcontents and young adventurers.

“Only a few knew that I was alive. My parents, my younger brother, Devlet, who is now the Great Khan, Orda, the one who saved me, and his wife, Konchak. They have cared for me over the years. I have lived hidden within this yurt, rarely seeing the day lest I be seen. Only at night have I been free to face the wind and the rain. I am packed secretly into a cart when we travel the steppes each year. In Kaffa, my quarters are a tower in the palace, believed to be abandoned.

“At first, I did not care whether I lived or died. I had lost your mother, the woman I loved above all others on this earth. To learn that she had died of grief was almost more than I could bear. It seemed to me that once again my brother had destroyed all that was good and true. Without ever having seen Marjallah, he had murdered her, as surely as he had killed my first two wives, Zoe and Aisha.

“But as great as my pain was, the will to live burned like a bright flame within my soul. I did not die. Instead I have lived for twenty-three years in a twilight world, never really knowing if Temur would learn that I had survived, half fearful that he would, yet longing for him to know the truth so that I might have my revenge. Today when my brother stole you away, and I feared so greatly for you, I finally remembered that I was a Tatar. It was I who slew Temur Khan. Now, at last, I am free!”

“I think,” said Valentina slowly, “that you have suffered as my mother suffered at the hands of Sultan Murad.”

“Tell me about your mother,” he said eagerly, leaning forward, his light blue eyes warm with memory.

“Perhaps she has grown older, my lord,” Valentina began, “but it seems to me that she has never changed, at least not during my life. She has been the best of mothers. We all love her very much.”

“And your father never held it against her that she was my wife?”

“Never! He adores her, and always has. He was so relieved to find her and bring her home again,” replied Valentina. Then she said, “I am not certain that Lord Bliss is my father, my lord. Did your mother tell you why I came here?”

“Indeed she did, but I am not your father, Valentina, much to my regret. It would have pleased me greatly to leave one child behind when I die, and you would be a daughter to be proud of, my dear. However, I would never have known you for Marjallah’s daughter had you not removed your clothing so that my mother could examine you.”

“You saw me!” Valentina blushed furiously, catching her lower lip between her teeth.

He laughed softly. “I saw you, and believe me when I tell you that your body is the image of Marjallah’s. Marjallah had the most perfect body I have ever seen, and seeing you brought back very painful memories. Marjallah used to catch her lower lip between her teeth when vexed, as you do.”

“You really did love her, didn’t you?” Valentina asked quietly.

“I really did love her,” he answered.

“What will happen to you now, my lord? With Temur Khan dead, will you take your rightful place as your father’s eldest son. Will you become the Great Khan?”

“Eldest sons do not always inherit that position, Valentina,” he said. “The position of Great Khan goes to the male member of the family deemed most worthy. It is true that, had I not been forced into a life of hiding, my father would undoubtedly have chosen me to follow in his footsteps, but the Great Khan of the Geray Tatars must not only be a man capable of governing, but a man capable of leading his people into war if war becomes necessary. No man with a physical impairment is permitted to rule our people. My twin’s death changes nothing in that regard.”

“I do not understand,” she said, bewildered.

“I am very flattered, my dear, that you have not noticed it, but I am a cripple. I cannot walk, nor have I been able to since that terrible morning at the Jewel Serai. The lower portion of my body is quite useless, though I am fortunate to have movement above my waist. Had I been left a whole man, Temur Khan would have been dead years ago, for I should have hunted my brother down like the mad dog he was! Once my heart was filled with compassion for him, with understanding of the devils that tortured him, but after the horror of the Jewel Serai, I no longer made excuses for him. Had I been left the full use of my body, I should have killed Temur Khan for the cruelties he inflicted upon me! Today, when I rode with my brother Devlet, I was tied tightly to my saddle that I might not fall, and I rode between my brother and Orda. I had forgotten how good the wind felt upon my face, for it was the first time in years that my body had not been confined to my couch or to my chair.”

“The chair,” she said wonderingly as she studied it. “Your chair has wheels!”

He nodded.

“Oh, my lord, I am so sorry!” Honest tears filled her lovely amethyst eyes, and Javid Khan reached out and cupped her face in his hand, his thumb smoothing her cheeks and lips. “How lovely you are, daughter of Marjallah,” he said, deftly turning the subject aside from his own misery. “Lord Burke is a most fortunate man.”

Her eyes grew troubled. “I cannot marry Padraic,” she said. “I cannot marry anyone now.” The tears spilled down her cheeks.

He released her face and took her hand in his. “What is it, my child? Tell me. Perhaps I can ease your troubles. After all, but for an accident of nature, I might have been your father.”

She looked at him unhappily and said, “How can I marry any decent man after what your brother and his men did to me?”

“My mother tells me that you were not raped,” Javid Khan said.

“But I was violated in other ways!” she wailed, bursting into tears again.

He leaned forward and, with amazingly strong arms, pulled her into his arms, wrapping the coverlet about her nude body. She sobbed hysterically against his shoulder for some minutes while he stroked her soft dark hair and made gentle, soothing noises to comfort her.

When her weeping had subsided to sniffles, he spoke. “My brother, may his name be cursed, and his men visited upon you the kind of depravity that injures the mind more than the body. Your bruises will heal, Valentina. Your visible scars will fade. But unless you yourself will it to be so, the invisible wounds you bear will only fester and grow until you can no longer bear the pain of them. Did you gain any pleasure from what was done to you?”

“No!”

“Then all those men did was touch your body, they did not touch your soul! Do you understand? You gave nothing of yourself, and therefore they gained nothing of you but a moment’s passing pleasure! You have washed your body clean of their touch and their scent. Now free your mind as well, Valentina. Put this horrible experience from you. You are no less a woman now than you were before this incident. If anything, you are more of a woman by virtue of having survived it. I do not believe that your Lord Burke would, for even a minute, consider putting you aside. Indeed, he has been most worried, and even sat with you through all of last night.”

“He did?” She looked up at him, surprised.

“He did,” replied Javid Khan, amused. Allah, how he wished she were his child! His and his beloved, long-lost Marjallah’s! “I am a man who knows the signs of love, my dear, and your Lord Burke is very much in love with you, Valentina.”

“But he does not know …”

“He knows everything, my dear. Do you think he would allow us
not
to tell him? You were no sooner asleep then he went to my mother to learn of your condition.” He patted her cheek. “Do not be foolish, Valentina. Do not throw away your happiness. You love this man. I see it in your face, hear it in your voice. Am I not right?”

She nodded. “Yes, I love him, though I have been slow to admit to it, my lord.”

Javid Khan chuckled. “You are more like your sweet mother than you can know, Valentina.” The strong arms set her back on her couch of pillows. “I will leave you now, my child, but we will speak again before you begin your return to Kaffa. I suspect that, outside this alcove, there is a young man anxious to see for himself that you are well. I will send him in.”

She considered protesting, but as she was considering, Javid Khan maneuvered his wheelchair from her curtained alcove and departed. She heard the murmur of voices, and there were sounds and smells of food being prepared. She suddenly realized that she was hungry.

“Val?” Lord Burke entered the alcove and knelt by her side. She suddenly felt unaccountably shy. “Hinny love, look at me,” he pleaded. “Do not turn away from me, my darling!”

“Padraic, please!” She had been dirtied. Javid Khan’s words did not matter. How could she accept the purity of Padraic’s love under such dark circumstances? If only he would go away and leave her to her misery. “Don’t you understand?” she whispered. “I have been
used
. By other men! I am no longer fit to be your wife!”

“You were not raped,” he replied.

“It was worse than rape!” she cried. “Did Borte Khatun not tell you what they did to me? Then I will tell you! I was stripped and spread open, tied between two posts. They used me with their hands and their mouths! They rubbed their male parts against me and sprayed their lust over my body! There was no part of me that they did not touch!”

“I know,” he said quietly. “It must have been terrifying, hinny love, but it is over now. I love you, Val, and I do not intend to allow this misfortune to spoil the lifetime of happiness that I see ahead for us.”

“Misfortune!” Her voice rose. “And when did I ever say I would marry you, Padraic Burke?”

“Will you?” he answered softly. His lips brushed her brow. “Will you marry me, my hinny love, my dearly beloved Valentina, whom I have always loved and adored? Will you marry me and make me the happiest of men, or will you continue to persist in this silly charade involving poor Tom Ashburne?”

“Charade?” she said indignantly.

“Aye, charade! Do you love the man, Valentina?”

She glowered at him, but was unable to answer.

“Humph,” he said scornfully. “At least you are not a liar, my love. No, you do not love poor Tom. You love me, don’t you?” He pushed her down and leaned over her, his lips dangerously near hers.

Her amethyst gaze was held, a half-willing prisoner of his passionate look. She felt herself saying, in spite of herself, “Aye, my lord,” and the movement of her mouth, so close to his, teased innocently at his mouth.

Padraic Burke was a man driven. For months he had held himself in check. She was the most tantalizing, tempting, desirable woman he had ever known, and he wanted her! His lips crushed fiercely down upon hers.

She had known it would happen. How could it not happen when the truth of the matter was that they desired each other so incredibly? Her arms slipped about his neck and she drew him to her, her mouth working against his, tasting the texture of him, breathing the special maleness of him.

For a moment her conscience arose to assail her and she drew away. “What of my misfortune, Padraic?”

He stood then, and as she watched, her heart hammering wildly with joy and fear, he pulled his clothing from his body. “Have we not all had misfortunes?” he said softly, his eyes filled with love for her.

“The others!” she gasped. “What if the others should come in?”

“No one will disturb us, Val,” he said quietly as he stood before her in his wonderful masculine nudity.

He is beautiful, she thought, seeing him as she had first seen him those long months ago. I thought so then and I think it now. I love the long, lean length of him! Her gaze swept over him, bold and unashamed, and he stood quietly, allowing her to drink her fill of his male beauty. His chest was but lightly furred with dark curls that were repeated in the triangle between his thighs, those beautifully muscled thighs that she knew would soon hold her in an embrace. His manhood hung white and limp, yet she could sense the power in it. It stirred, interested, even as she held it with her fascinated gaze. Soft color flooded her cheeks, and he laughed softly.

“Enough, hinny love,” he teased her gently. “You have looked your fill, and now I intend wiping from your memory all the cruelties done you yesterday by Temur Khan and his minions. Trust me, Val, for I love you!”

He unrolled her from the coverlet that had been wrapped about her body and drew her to her feet. For several long moments he let his eyes enjoy her loveliness, his eyes darkening at the narrow weals crisscrossing her body. Then slowly he pulled her against him so that the nipples of her breasts brushed against his chest. He cupped her buttocks in his palms and drew her even closer. He held her captive thusly while his lips pressed tiny kisses on her face for what seemed the longest time. Valentina began to quiver deep within her being.