Lost Love Found (10 page)

“The queen has given me two days before I must return to Whitehall,” she answered him.

“And I must start for home immediately this very afternoon,” said Willow. “Gaby is nowhere near ready to come to court. It will take me at least a week to prepare her, and then not properly, but I dare not delay lest her appointment be rescinded. Once she is safely at court, no one will attempt to remove her.” She pulled on her gloves, saying, “You will look after Valentina, Padraic? Have her at court on Thursday.” Then she was gone.

“I would not be a bother to you, Padraic,” Valentina told him as the door closed behind Willow. “I am certain you have other things to do than watch over me as if I were a small child instead of a grown woman.”

“You are indeed a grown woman, Val,” he told her, and was pleased to see her cheeks pink prettily. “ ’Tis too late for the theater this afternoon,” he continued. “Besides, the weather is growing foul. I shall take you tomorrow if it does not bluster. Alleyne is doing Will Shakespeare’s
Richard III
. Let us stay indoors this afternoon and play cards. The queen’s ladies are forever playing cards and as I recall, you’re a terrible player. You can use the practice. Otherwise you may lose your inheritance from Lord Barrows to the little sharpsters over whom you will be mistress.”

“Hah!” she countered. “Just because you were able to beat me at cards when I was fourteen, you must not take the attitude that you can still beat me, for you cannot! Where shall we play, coz?”

“Come,” he said, taking her hand, “the library is a cozy place.”

A footman set an inlaid wooden card table between the two comfortable chairs on either side of the fireplace, in which a cheerful blaze soon burned. On the round table next to Lord Burke, he placed a decanter of pale golden wine and two goblets. Having helped Lady Barrows into her seat, he withdrew from the room.

“Come, my lord, I am anxious to make you pay for your slur upon my abilities. I assume you can afford to play for honest coin?” Valentina settled her skirts about her and looked across the table at him. Suddenly, as their eyes met, she felt a funny sensation in the pit of her stomach. His eyes were the color of aquamarines. The shade was really most startling, and she wondered why she had never noticed his eyes before. The smile he gave her reached all the way to those eyes, crinkling them at the corners most pleasantly. He was a damnably attractive man, but until this moment she had never thought of him as anything but her cousin. She realized that, for some unfathomable reason, everything was changing.

“I assume that you, madam, can afford the losses you are about to incur,” he teased her. “Shall we play Primero?”

She nodded, and the game began. They were evenly matched, it seemed, and he was surprised at how she had improved her skills over the last few years. Then, to his great astonishment, she began to beat Mm, piling up his coins to her left, all the while chatting away as if she were not in the least interested in their game.

“Why do you never come to court, Padraic?” she asked thoughtfully as she discarded one card and took up another.

“I had a bellyful of it as a youngster,” he replied. “I’m not a politician. I find I do not like the city, and ’tis most expensive, Val. I prefer raising my horses at Clearfields Priory. The queen sold it to me several years ago, you know, and now ’tis mine. It is not Burke Castle, which I cannot even remember and, as you know, was destroyed. Nor is Clearfields Priory on the ancestral Burke lands. But I have been raised to be a loyal Englishman as the queen once threatened my mother would be done.” There was sadness in his voice.

“You do not remember your father or Ireland at all, do you?”

He shook his head. “I was but an infant at my mother’s breast when my father left Ireland, never to return. Damn, you have taken my last coin!”

Her delighted laughter rang out. “Now, my proud lordling, what will you wager me?” she mocked him.

“A kiss,” he said mischievously. “One final hand, Val. My kiss against all your winnings.”

“God’s foot, sir, you value yourself most highly,” she said. She knew she was blushing, and her heart was beating erratically. What on earth was the matter with her? This was Padraic Burke. She had known him her entire life.

“Well, madam? Has your sporting blood suddenly run thin?” he goaded her.

“Play your cards, my lord,” she said, and when he had laid his cards before her, she laughed. “You lose, sirrah!” she gloated.

“Nay, madam, I think rather that I have won,” he answered. Standing, he moved toward her and captured her lips with his own.

Valentina was shocked by the suddenness of his action, but she could not resist him. Her bones were melting. His mouth! His mouth on hers was so … so …

“
Val.
”

He had taken his lips from hers, and she suddenly felt terribly bereft. Her lovely amethyst eyes mirrored her confusion. She was utterly at a loss. What was happening to her? She had never felt this way in her life.

Gently his big hand caressed her, one finger smoothing her cheekbone and moving down her jaw. “Never let it be said, madam, that Lord Burke does not pay his debts,” he told her, his voice breaking the tension between them.

Valentina stood, her hands against the card table steadying her still-trembling body. “Why did you do that?” she demanded of him.

“I was but paying my debt to you, Val.” It was a lie, and both knew it. He had meant it to be a quick kiss, but something had happened to him when his lips met hers. He had not expected to find her mouth so honeyed.

“No,” she said.

“I love you.” His blue eyes with their hint of silver met hers.

“For how long?” Her upper teeth began to worry her lower lip.

“I cannot remember a time when I did not love you. I cannot even remember when the cousinly affection I had always felt turned to a man’s feelings.”

“
Yet you let me wed Edward Barrows!
”

“When I learned from my mother that you were to marry him, it was too late,” Padraic replied. “God’s foot, Val! You are so beautiful! You could have had an earl, and you should be the wife of some great man.”

“Indeed, my lord, and was it your place to make that decision for me? I should be the wife of a man who loves me, damn you!”

Lord Burke stood and looked down on Valentina. “I am the son of a displaced Irish lord. What could I possibly offer you? You were born to be the wife of a powerful nobleman, not someone like me.”

“You are a fool, Padraic Burke! Both of your parents were Irish. My father is Irish, and my mother’s mother was a FitzGerald. But as for you and me, though we have Irish blood, we are English by virtue of having lived here our whole lives! You have Clearfields Priory and its lands. You have a full share in the O’Malley-Small trading company,
and
you say that you love me. What kind of a woman did you think I was that I would want more than what you can offer?”

“Then you would marry me if I asked?” He was incredulous.

“I can marry no one until I have completed my year’s mourning for Lord Barrows.”

“Will you marry me then?”

“I do not know,” she said, now infuriatingly calm. “I must love the next man I wed, and I do not know if I love you, my lord. For now, I am angry with you. You say you love me, yet you didn’t even attempt to stop me when I planned to marry Ned. I would not have believed you so faint of heart, Padraic. Your father certainly was not. Although he was forced to stand by while your mother was wed to another man, he was bold enough to claim her in spite of it. If you would aspire to winning my hand in marriage, then you must be bolder than you have been. I would love the man I wed, but I would respect him as well.”

She turned to leave him, but he caught her and drew her back against his chest. “Perhaps, Val, my fault is that I love you too much, rather than not enough,” he said softly, and kissed her again. This was not a gentle kiss. It was filled with dark passion and barely restrained desire.

He forced her lips apart and, plunging his tongue between her teeth, enslaved her tongue with his. Valentina’s head swam as sensation pulsed through her body. She sagged against him, half swooning. “Ahh, hinny love,” he murmured, releasing her lips. He pressed little kisses across the top of her breasts, inhaling her sweet lily-of-the-valley fragrance.

“Padraic!” she cried weakly. “Cease at once!” She placed her hands against his chest and pushed feebly. Never had she dreamed a kiss could render one so helpless. “I cannot think, my lord!” she protested.

“Perhaps,” he teased her, “you think too much, madam.” His arms were tightly about her. Had he let go then, she knew she would have fallen to the floor.

At last, as Valentina felt the strength flowing back into her legs, she pulled away from him. “You are bolder than I thought, my lord,” she said, “nevertheless I have come to court to serve the queen, and I shall make no decisions about my future now.”

“May I court you, Val?” His eyes were laughing.

“Aye, but be warned, I shall not necessarily favor you above others.”

“Ho, madam, now ’tis
you
who are bold.”

“Perhaps, Padraic, it is time that I became bold,” she replied, twinkling.

“You are going to punish me for my sins, then?”

“Aye, my lord, I am, and there is no guarantee that, when I have tired of that game, I will accept your offer. Saying that you love me is not enough, Padraic. You love me, yet you allowed me to wed another even though he was not the man of breeding and power you felt I should have married. Surely you did not believe I loved Ned, for I did not even know him. It frets me that you did not speak up on your own behalf. Had you truly loved me, nothing would have stood in your way. I should, therefore, be very foolish to place all my eggs in one basket. Besides”—she shrugged—“I did vow never to wed again. Perhaps I shall be like the queen and go to my grave without a husband.”

He laughed. “I see little chance of that, Val, and I give you fair warning. I intend to have you as my wife. This time I will not be denied. I shall not allow my pride—or any man—to come between us. There is no one for me but you.”

“And this time,” she warned him, “I shall not be hurried into making a poor decision. Edward Barrows was a good, kind man, but I realize that his sudden death was a blessing for me. I would never have been happy with him. I should have tried my wings at court years ago instead of being a country mouse. I shall not be a fool again. Court me if you will, Padraic, but if there are others who take my fancy, then I will encourage them.”

“ ’Tis best, I suppose,” he said mildly, “that you work the hell out of your system before settling down as my wife and the mother of our children. I fully approve,” he said solemnly.

“Indeed, my lord, do you?” Her tone was oversweet.

“Aye, madam,” he drawled. He could see her temper rising, and he pulled her back into his arms. “Play your games, Val, as long as you bring no dishonor upon the family.” He bent to kiss her, but she twisted out of his grasp, her hand making firm contact with his smooth cheek.

“Do not
ever
dare preach morals to me, Padraic Burke!” she said angrily, enjoying the stinging sensation in her palm and the satisfying smacking noise her hand had made against his handsome face.

“Ouch!” he yelped. “Damn you for a vixen, madam! That hurt.”

“It was supposed to, you smug bastard! Loving me, you nonetheless stood aside as I married another man, and now that I am widowed, you have finally gained enough courage to announce that you
will
wed me! Well, my lord Burke of Clearfields Priory, if you want me, you shall have to catch me first … and I assure you that I shall lead you a merry chase before you do—
if you do!
”

“What the hell is the matter with you, Valentina?” he shouted as she stormed from the room.
Women
! They were the most maddening creatures! Any sensible woman, told that she was loved, would have reacted with joy. Val was the most impossible baggage, but God help him, he loved her.

Valentina ran up the stairs to her apartment, dashing past a startled Nan into her bedchamber, where she threw herself on the bed.

“Leave me be, Nan,” she ordered her servant. “I need to be alone. Go away, and let no one into this room unless I tell you!”

Nan withdrew. She knew Mistress Valentina’s tempers. They came infrequently and rarely lasted long, but she needed to be left alone to recover her equilibrium.

Val did not know whether to shriek or to cry. “
I cannot remember a time when I did not love you
.” He dared say that to her after standing silently by as she wed Edward Barrows? “Damn you, Padraic!” she muttered. “Damn you! Damn you! Damn you!”

Valentina stared hard at the lovely Oriental carpet, all golds and blues. If a kiss could be so unspeakably wonderful, then what might the ultimate act of love really be like? Surely not like what she had experienced with her husband. Poor Ned. He was probably the most passionless man ever created. Even she, inexperienced though she was, had known that.

When he explained to her, on their trip to Hill Court from Pearroc Royal, that he would visit her bed thrice weekly until she conceived, he had instructed her on her behavior. He knew that her family had originally been members of the Roman church but now adhered to the Anglican faith. He, however, maintained a more Calvinistic belief.

“You are a Puritan, then,” she’d said, surprised.

“If you will, my dear,” he had agreed, explaining that, as a man of pure and stern beliefs, he did not hold with shameless behavior. She was never to appear naked before him, nor was she to make any sound during their coupling. She was to accept his seed like a good and obedient wife, praying fervently as he labored over her that God would allow her to be the instrument of a new life.

When he reached her bedside on those nights on which he visited her, he had smiled his approval to find her awaiting him in her high-necked, long-sleeved white silk nightgown, a matching cap upon her head, its pink silk ribbons her only attempt at frivolity. Drawing back the covers so that he might enter the bed, he had blown out the bedside tapers plunging the room into total darkness. He had insisted that the draperies be drawn lest the moonlight illuminate their shame.