Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) (15 page)

I look down at her face innately resting against my chest.
She’s
lovely.
She draws her attention back to my face and whispers, “Kiss me.” And the dormant animal inside me begins the attack.

“
Can’t Fight This Feeling
” by REO Speedwagon

H
ow many times in life do we pass a stranger on the street and think they’re attractive, sexy … perhaps even beautiful? Most of the time, we just keep walking. We don’t stop and explore our attraction. I’m aware of every part of my body, and how Jeff affects it. I have never felt such complete and utter desire toward a person I just met. The last thing I willed my lips to say was, “kiss me,” and I’m quite sure nothing will ever make sense again.

His lips ram mine without any reprieve and zero regard for what is right or acceptable. His tongue swipes in and mingles with mine with such ease it’s as if they’ve been acquainted and danced before—thousands of times. His hands are on my face, in my hair … he’s everywhere all at once. He pulls and positions my head to gain even deeper access into my mouth, and this kiss feels like the most erotic act I’ve ever been involved in. I’ve never been kissed this way, nor have I ever felt anything close to this. My legs become unstable and I’m not sure if I’m standing or levitating. I’m not even sure any of this is actually happening to me. Is this what lust feels like? Is this what makes ordinary people go mad with passion?

“We shaaaa stop,” he half moans, half mumbles, while still frantically licking into me.

“Hhmmm,” I moan back my agreement.

“Table or floor?” is his next proposition.

“Bed.”

I need for whatever this is right now to happen. I’m starved to have every part of him immediately, and by the incoherent sounds coming from him, I know he wants me just as much. This is what every woman wants—whatever it is that Jeff is making me feel is what
everybody
wants—to be the object of someone’s obsession. We’ve made each other go mad. I’ve never felt this desired by a man before, not even by Florent, my only lover. I’m so turned on that I haven’t even noticed that we’re moving while he has me straddling his waist. I only realize our arrangement when he pulls me down into his hardness. I’m afraid that after having zero love life for the past five years, this may kill me.

I open my eyes when I hear the sound of a door open, but this door leads into my bathroom not my room.

“Wrong door,” I say into his mouth.

He captures my lips again and continues to kiss me. I try to pull away to tell him that the last door down the corridor is my bedroom, but he won’t let me say a word. There’s a good chance we won’t make it to my room because I can already feel him lowering us to the carpet in the hallway.

Jeff finally pulls away from me, attempting to subside the unexplained urgency and madness we’ve elicited in one another. He kneels over me on the floor, and all I want is for him to fuck me. I don’t want to try to rationalize anything. I don’t even want to think about the next second—I just want him, all of him, right now inside me without any words or explanations.

He’s suspended above me, not moving, just panting and catching his breath as he studies me. Fear strikes me hard in the chest at the thought of him changing his mind. I become frantic, because this could all be an illusion, a dream, but I want this to be real. The panic propels me into action, finding his pants and undoing them before everything evaporates.

I find his belt without losing eye contact, except he grabs hold of my hand in protest as I struggle to open it. The euphoric lust cloud is gone and once the smoke begins to clear, like in all good fairy tales, the princess turns into nothing more than a common farm girl while the prince goes back to being a regular frog. I brace myself for the inevitable rejection.

“How are we suppose to have a meaningful conversation if I’m about to disrespect you?” He removes my hand from his crotch, bringing it to his lips for a kiss in an effort to soften the blow.

I’m not sure how to answer that, so I ask him, “How do you expect us to try and have a meaningful conversation if we don’t get this tension between us out of the way?”

He cracks a smile.

He needs to know this is not normal for me. “I haven’t had this kind of reaction to anyone in my life, and this irrational behavior may be normal for you in New York, but it’s not for me.”

He lowers himself and shuts me up with another kiss … a slow, soft type of kiss. “Nothing about you or this is normal to me. My life has been a series of unfortunate events navigated by poor decisions and bad timing. I don’t want this between us to be added to my running tally. I’m going to take you to bed and try to lose myself in you because you’re driving me crazy, but once we get this itch out of the way, we’re going to sit down with our clothes back on and make sense of everything.” He pauses to look at me before he begins to kiss down my neck, sending goose bumps along my hyper-aroused body. “I guess it will be nice to share a bed with someone who doesn’t have a past to hold me to, someone I don’t need to promise anything but an orgasm or two. I can’t remember the last time I fucked someone without at least knowing her last name.”

His crude words are harsh, and the delicate girl in me should feel hurt and offended, but the truth is, he really is a nobody, and sometimes in life, we need a nobody to un-numb us and make us remember that we’re a somebody.

His lips find my nipple and begin to suck expertly through my ribbed top. He lifts his gaze, no longer intimidating, to make sure I’m watching. “I can’t wait to see you naked,” he declares while inspecting the wet spot left behind by his mouth on my white shirt. He shifts over to suck my other protruding nipple, and with every lick, I fight the urge to lower my hands and rub my throbbing clit for instant relief. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”

That makes two of us.
I haven’t had actual sexual intercourse since I came to America, so this day has been long coming—literally and figuratively. Sex with someone other than my imagination should be a treat. And the thought of Jeff inside me is mind blowing and completely intoxicating.

He gets up and towers over me, giving me a chance to observe him—
all
of him. For the first time since we met earlier, I see him as if he were mine to watch and enjoy. Even unshaved with his hair disheveled and no doubt tired, he’s still very attractive. It’s undeniable; however, it’s his inimitable eyes that make him one in a million.

“Shall we?” He offers his hands as I grab hold to let him lift me up.

“We shall.” I give a crooked smile. “I’ve never disrespected someone as much as I want to disrespect you,” I jokingly say.

“Very funny. Now, show me your bed, femme fatale, or I’ll go back to disrespecting you on the floor.”

He got the femme fatale part right, but I haven’t felt any lack of respect from him—not yet, anyway. I like that he tries to impress me with his French speaking and understanding skills, not many people do. His appeal in my mind keeps growing, which may be very good for my soon-to-be rousing sex life, but very bad for my sleeping heart.

“
Need You Tonight
”
by INXS

I
try to stay in the moment with Kali and not think about what having sex with her will say about my character. Maybe this is what I need in order to move on and finally let the ghosts of my past go. I haven’t been on the same page with a woman in a long time. It’s a nice change to want and be wanted back equally. My whole life I wanted what I couldn’t have, and promised what I couldn’t give. Right now there are no promises … just sex.

She tastes amazing and I don’t want to think about anything other than fucking her tonight. I just want to be a regular guy who picked up a stunning girl at a bar, a guy who didn’t lose his wife and the love of his life six months ago, a guy who doesn’t know the inside of Sloan Kettering hospital better than his own bedroom, a guy who didn’t cheat and lie to his wife, a guy who hadn’t ruined an innocent girl’s life, the type of guy who can give his kids a happy life. I just want to be a guy who doesn’t destroy everything he touches. I just want to be anybody but me tonight with this fascinating woman who seems to crave me just as much as I desire her. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’ve already lost everything, so I have nothing left to fear losing. I just need to lose myself between her legs tonight.

I follow her blindly like a starved man as she leads me to the end of the hallway. I still have time to stop this, turn around, and go home. I can tuck her in and never look back. I may be physically ready to fuck, but emotionally, I’m a goner. She enters her room, which I can’t bring myself to notice because my eyes seem to be glued on her. Once again I’m hypnotized with every sway of her hips. She sits at the edge of her bed and waits for me as I stand in the doorway. She appraises me shamelessly from under her long, black lashes, and I’m still on the fence as to who’s the wolf and who’s the lamb in this scene. I look at the two wet spots my tongue left behind on her shirt, and my dick grows harder the second I see the outline of her stiff nipples through the wet fabric.

Moments ago, we pretended to play it cool and back off, for each other’s sakes, but who are we kidding? I’ll die if I don’t fuck her immediately. And by the wild, desperate look in her eyes, I suspect she suffers from the same syndrome.

“I want to see you naked, really bad, but I’m not sure it’s going to happen,” is the last lucid statement I’m able to make before reality ceases to exist, and in its place is pure lust that fuels my every move.

I come at her like a wild beast—a predator. The way I attack her breasts and thrust my hips into her, you’d think I haven’t seen tits and a pussy in years—and in a strange, fucked-up way, I really haven’t. My only goal is to have her twisted and wrapped around every inch of me. She asked for this, and who am I to deny this young woman the thing she wants most—
me
. She can have every part of me tonight. Everything her eyes and hands touch is all hers, nobody else’s. I don’t belong to Jacqueline, I don’t belong to Sara, and I certainly don’t belong to myself. Right now, I only belong to Kali.