Lost Dreams (23 page)

The amount of empty boxes laying by the front door a short while later impressed me, unpacking didn’t seem so bad after all. We had gotten so much done in such a short period of time. Only two hours ago, I was walking in the front door and now, all of the kitchen cabinets had been filled with our things, the table and chairs were in place. The living room was also starting to look like it should, with the couch in place and Gregory was trying to sort out the electronics. Behind the couch was a bare wall and I had an idea for it, something I had been thinking about for a while.

''Hey sweets, you look deep in thought. Is everything okay?''

I couldn't hide anything from Remy, he knew me too well, almost to a fault. ''Remember how I was saying that I would love to have a wall in the house full of frames with our pictures? '' He looked up at me. ''This is the wall.''

''Good idea. I already have three pictures for our wall.''

I wondered which ones he was thinking about. ''Aren't you going to tell me which ones?''

''You’ll see soon enough. I have to get back to Patrick, I just needed a screwdriver to fix the bed.'' He held up the screwdriver, winked and headed back to the bedroom. Remy was having too much fun teasing me, but part of me liked it, very much.

Each of our friends were working on a different task, and the two main rooms were almost done, with Remy helping Patrick with our bedroom. The only room that wasn't a necessity was the guest room and even in there, it didn't look like there was a lot left to be done. Gregory had installed the curtains in every room, and I had to remember to thank him, as I hated hanging curtains myself.

By sundown, we called it a day. We’d all worked hard and from the awkward way everyone was moving, we all had muscles which were sore. Beers and pizzas were waiting on the dining table, and the smell of the melted cheese was driving me crazy. I was starving, having realized that I hadn't eaten since five this morning. The kids were beginning to getting a little grumpy, due to tiredness after playing outside. They’d played in the sunshine all day and when the TV and cable were finally working, they’d collapsed in the living room to watch the Disney channel with chocolate ice cream treats and fruit snacks. It was fun to have them around, it gave the house a little more life and made me think about how much I wanted my own child.

Julia, an avid baker, had brought over a cake to welcome us into our new home. My mouth was watering just looking at it, it was some sort of sponge, with strawberries and blueberries and covered with vanilla icing. When I finally got to taste the cake, the fruit mixed with the vanilla icing danced in my mouth. It was fresh and light and I had to ask her for the recipe. Some of the kids asked for a second piece and I couldn't help myself, so did I. I loved sweets and Julia’s cake was utterly delicious.

By nine o'clock, everyone had gone home and we were back to being just the two of us. The house was quiet after a day filled with loud sounds as the furniture was rebuilt, endless chatter and yelling kids, and my ears were grateful for the reprieve. Remy was cleaning up the kitchen, throwing away the empty pizza boxes and beer bottles.

For our first night in our new home, I had imagined quite a few things we could do to celebrate. Maybe in our beautifully tiled shower or in our new bedroom upstairs. My mind had been very adventurous when I’d been thinking about how to make our first night special. The only problem was, now the moment had arrived, my body was too sore and I was so exhausted, I no longer had the energy to do anything else but sleep. I went upstairs and took a quick shower and put on the first t-shirt I found in Remy's drawer.

"Babes, are you coming to bed?" I asked, returning to the kitchen.

He was cleaning up the counters and had a mouth full of cake. "Yeah, give me thirty seconds, I just need a very quick shower."

"Leave it, babes, I’ll clean everything in the morning."

He rolled his eyes. "You've done enough, Ave." He rinsed the washcloth and put it over the faucet. "I’ll take care of the guest room tomorrow," he offered.

He got undressed on the way to the bathroom, giving me a nice view of his flexing back muscles and his gorgeous backside. He had no idea how much I desired him. Well, maybe he did.

I waited in bed for him to return from the shower. Of course, when he strolled in he took my breath away. He was naked, other than a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Seeing me watching him, he made a show of removing it and I pouted. "You are such a tease, babes."

He chuckled. "Sweets, you tease me all the time."

I felt my face flush. "No, I don't," I protested.

He stared at me in disbelief. "Sweets, you do it all the time - when you wear nothing but my t-shirts, and you tease me every time you come and get your coffee in your underwear. In fact, you tease me every time we cuddle on the couch and I can smell your strawberry body lotion. I’m crazy about you." He spoke the last few words in a husky voice, filled with desire.

He always knew how to seduce me. "Come here, you little tease." He got into bed and snuggled up against me, and I rested my head against his shoulder. "I love you, Jeremy."

"I love you more," he answered.

We locked gazes.  “Impossible,” I whispered to him.

His smile was enigmatic. "It is possible, sweets."

Our faces were less than an inch apart and I pulled him towards me. I discovered I had suddenly regained some energy.

He hid his face in the hollow of my neck, beneath my long blonde hair. His hands captured mine and he raised them over my head. His weight on my body made me feel connected to him and complete. Remy started kissing me and I hated that I couldn't touch him. My hands were held in place by his strength.

"Let me show you how much more I love you, Avery. Let me show you how I’ve felt all these years. Let me show you all the things I want for us, all the things I know you want." His words sent me directly to a happy place, a place where I felt loved and desired beyond measure. "We'll build our new life here, our family, everything you’ve dreamt of. I want them too, sweets."

"You do? We've never really talked about it, Jeremy." The tension was building between us. He knew how to get to me, had a way of understanding thoughts I’d never voiced.

"I know YOU, Avery."

Continuing to restrain my hands, he started kissing my neck, my shoulder and then lower, to my breasts. I wanted to touch him and kiss him back. He slowly lowered himself onto me and began to make love to me in a way I had never experienced before. Every sensations was multiplied tenfold. He was worshiping me, showering me with his love. I was spoiled by him and I finally gave up my attempts to touch him. The moment was too enjoyable and I surrendered to his desire.

~~~ * ~~~

T
he room was dark and warm when I woke up and discovered Remy was no longer in the bed with me. I wondered what time it was. I glanced at the alarm clock on Remy's nightstand. 3:27pm. Damn!

I’d overslept, or more to the point, Remy let me sleep in. Every muscle in my body ached after all the work yesterday. This was going to be a long day, and with a groan, I decided I needed a warm bath.

I walked down the stairs, to discover a pile of empty boxes sitting by the door. Where was Remy? I walked around the house, finding him outside sitting on a patio set I didn’t recognize. I opened the door. "Babes, where did you get this?"

"William offered it to us. He wanted a bigger one." He folded the newspaper he was reading. "Did you sleep well?"

I nodded. "A little too much, maybe."

"The guest room is sorted out and our picture wall is started."

I hadn’t noticed the wall. "Are you coming inside?" I couldn't go outside wearing Remy’s t-shirt.

Remy got up and reached for me. He kissed me and we walked inside together, towards the guest room. He’d done everything, the bed was made, the pictures were on the walls and the curtains had been installed. "Thank you, babes. You didn't have to do it by yourself."

"It’s okay, sweets, I was up early."

Every wall in the house was painted in a warm beige. It was so relaxing, and much better than the stark white walls in the house I had lived in for years. I was curious to see the photo wall in the living room. I hurried to the room and I saw the first three pictures he’d chosen and put up. The photos he’d selected included one of Remy, Carter and I. The second photo was one taken of us at Christmas and the final one was of me alone, reading in bed at the old house.

"Why did you pick this one?" I asked him, curious as to why he’d selected that specific photo of me. It seemed to be a very random choice.

"Because you looked so relaxed, at peace and exquisite. I took it the morning after we’d made love the first time. It holds a special place in my heart.''

I flushed with embarrassment. He was right, it was taken that morning. ''I was very happy that morning, you’d made me feel so precious and for the first time together, I thought we had something special.'' I chuckled shyly. ''I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you.''

''I know what you mean because I couldn't stop imagining you, remembering how passionate you were.'' He paused and kissed my forehead. ''I never thought I would get to share that with you, sweets. You own my heart and soul.''

Every day, I was falling deeper in love with him, my man.

I
’ve recently started working at a security company, as an analyst. The company is owned by Patrick's brother so they were very flexible with my schedule and the need to attend Doctor's appointments. They were happy for me to work from home when I wasn't feeling well after physiotherapy, so this job was a perfect opportunity for me at the moment. It made me feel better about myself, knowing my knowledge was an asset to the company. I could detect all the little anomalies in their security plans. They had a large range of clients, from handling security for public events, to dealing with security for companies and providing surveillance for private homes, and I really enjoyed the diversity.

My physio appointment was a little tough this morning, I’d hurt myself a few days ago when I tried to install a shelf in the living room. It frustrated me, because it was such a simple thing to do and I’d done much harder stuff in my life. And yet, because of this stupid injury, I wasn't able to finish installing it, Avery had to do it. Then she forced me onto the couch to rest while she applied an icepack to my shoulder. She even called my doctor, worried about whether she should take me to the hospital. I tried telling her I was fine, but she wasn't buying it. ''I'm only taking care of you, babes, like you would do if the situation was reversed,'' she explained, and she was right. If she’d been hurt, I would probably have driven her to the hospital. We tended to go a little overboard caring for each other and this relationship was still so new to us. We were learning how to deal with each situation as it came.

After working for the past three hours, I decided to take a little break and sit out on the porch. I had to pick Avery up from work in about an hour. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich - not something I would tell Avery about, but they were my favorite thing to eat when I was home alone. Sometimes, simple is good.

Outside, the birds were chirping a sweet melody which calmed me. I looked up at the clear blue sky and breathed in the fresh air. In moments like these, I was thankful for the life I had, even if it wasn't perfect. The fact that I could sit outside and feel safe meant everything to me, it wasn’t a feeling I’d been able to enjoy when I was deployed. I relaxed some more and felt the exhaustion in my body spreading. My eyes became heavy and I slowly dozed off to the soothing sounds of nature surrounding me.

An unexpected sound broke into my peaceful nap and I leaped from the chair in panic, instinctively dropping onto my stomach on the wooden porch floor. My heart was beating so hard, I could feel my pulse pounding through my head. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the fuck down. Where am I? Why am I so scared? A car horn? Was it really a car horn? I opened my eyes slowly, scared that I’d woken up in Afghanistan or Iraq, but I was home, I was safe. This had never happened before, obviously another scar from my past was catching up with me. It took few minutes before I could get up, I wasn't sure I could trust my legs to hold my weight just yet. I shook my head in disbelief, struggling to cope with the idea that a car horn could throw me back into a war zone.

Minutes later, the phone started ringing. I glanced at my watch and swore. I was ten minutes late to pick Ave up. "Hello!" I answered the phone abruptly.

"Remy, weren't you supposed to pick me up?"

At least she didn't sound mad. "I’m sorry, I fell asleep and a car horn woke me up.  Can you believe I had a panic attack over a stupid car horn down the street?"

"Oh my God, are you okay? Are you sure you can drive? I’ll call a taxi." It was obvious from Ave’s voice that she was panicking, and in the background I heard Liam offering her a ride. Of course he’d try and manipulate the situation to his advantage!

"I’ll be there shortly, sweets. Wait for me," I demanded.

I hung up before she could respond. Liam was trying to get to me again, asshole! I got into my car and drove a little above the speed limits. I needed to get my girl out of the lion's mouth.

When I got to the daycare just minutes later, she was waiting alone outside. Thank God for that. Liam was nowhere to be seen.

"I’m sorry, sweets," I said, as she got into the car.

She sighed. "It’s okay." Her voice sounded cold and distant, so different from the happy woman who’d left home this morning.

"What’s wrong? Are you mad because I fell asleep?"

‘‘Of course not,’’ she replied quietly.

I was concerned, as it felt like something was off. ‘‘Did something else happen?”

She nodded and glanced towards the daycare center and I knew.  A second later, I was standing outside the car, ready to go in and teach Liam some manners.

"No, Remy! Get back in the car, it’s fine!" I could tell from the look on her face, and how her eyebrows were furrowed, she was not to be messed with.