Lost Daughters (21 page)

M
AUREEN RUBBED VIRGIL'S BACK UNTIL HE STOPPED CRYING AND
looked up. He blew his nose into a napkin and wiped tears off his face with another napkin. He looked like hell and felt even worse.

“I didn't know it was goin' to be this hard on me,” he moaned. “I thought you'd take it a whole lot harder than me.” Virgil put his head down on the table, moaning and groaning.

“Did you tell Corrine about this? Or anybody else?” Maureen asked in a gentle voice, her hand still on Virgil's back.

Virgil's head jerked up like a mole climbing out of its hole. He stopped moaning and groaning and cleared this throat. “Goodness gracious no! Until today, I ain't talked about this with nobody but Mama Ruby. There ain't no way in the world I want to share this with anybody else. Not even my wife.”

“Then don't. It would do no good for her to know what you just told me.”

“It was hard enough for me to tell you,” Virgil added. “I knew it would hurt you real bad.”

“I'll get over it.” Maureen smiled. “Uh, that woman who was my real mama, did she have any other kids?”

Virgil wiped tears off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “She did. Eight when we knew her. You was her ninth. She got around a lot, so she might have had a few more since she had you. Mama Ruby told me that somebody told her they all died in a house fire while Othella was out partyin' one night. Mama Ruby stole you and then Othella lost all her other kids too. I guess that's why she went crazy.”

More tears rolled down Maureen's face as she processed what Virgil had just added to his incredible confession. “Do you mean to tell me that the only blood kin I got left in the world now is Lo'retta?”

“Your real mama had a bunch of folks back in Louisiana. I know her mama died and Othella never knew her daddy, but she had some sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles, and whatnot. The last time I talked to Mama Ruby's three livin' sisters, they told me that some of Othella's brothers and sisters still live there with their kids and grandkids.”

“I have a
real
family . . . just like Jay.” Virgil was surprised at how gentle Maureen's voice was. He had not expected her to sit and listen to this devastating news so peaceably. One of the reasons he had chosen to tell her in a bar was in case she got hysterical. He could have easily blamed her meltdown on the alcohol if the bartender or any of the other patrons got nosy. Maureen closed her eyes for a moment. She gently rubbed her temple with the balls of her fingers and then she gave Virgil a look that was so cold and hard it made him flinch.

“You . . . you all right?” he asked, scooting a few inches away.

“I don't want my real family to ever know what Mama Ruby did. I don't want nobody else to know, either. Mama Ruby must have had a real good reason for doin' what she did.”

“She did. There was nothin' in the world she wanted more than a baby girl for years. She went to church and prayed to the Lord to bless her with one. One of the worst and most desperate things she done was she even tried to raise me as a girl.”

“She what?”

“Honest to God. She tried to turn me into a girl. It's a wonder I didn't grow up to be a sissy.”

“That is a wonder,” Maureen agreed.

“When I was a little boy, Mama Ruby made me play with dolls and she let my hair grow real long. She usually braided it, but some days she made me wear curls and ponytails with ribbons and bows. She even made me wear dresses from time to time.”

“That sounds like somethin' Mama Ruby would do,” Maureen said with a nod and a chuckle. Then she let out a mighty sigh. There was a look of unbearable sadness on her face. “I'm goin' to need you more than ever now. You are the only person in the world who knows who I really am.”

“Do you want me to be with you when you tell Mel and Lo'retta?”

Maureen gasped. “I don't know if I want them to know. What good would it do?”

“That's one thing you have to decide on your own. This is about you, Mo'reen. Me keepin' it a secret was one thing. What you do with this news is up to you. Now, if you change your mind about tellin' Lo'retta and Mel and want me to be with you when you do it, I will.”

Maureen almost slid out of her seat. “Goodness gracious no! They are the last two people on the planet that I want to know. Mel might get crazy and leave me. And Lo'retta? You know how crazy teenagers already are anyway. What good would it do for Mel and Lo'retta to know?”

“I just thought that since everything is out in the open now, they ought to know.”

“I don't agree with that. And don't ever tell Corrine, Catty, or Fast Black!”

“What about Jay? Maybe if he knew about your situation, it would help him deal with his a little easier. He looked so lost at the dinner table that night.”

“I don't want Jay to know about me.” Maureen's voice was stiff and detached, like it was coming from another direction and from another woman's mouth.

“Don't you think that you and Jay havin' such a strange thing in common is some kind of sign?”

Maureen gave Virgil a curious look. “A sign? A sign for what?”

“A sign that y'all was meant to be friends. Maybe y'all was brought together for a reason—to comfort each other. From what I keep hearin', his real family ain't givin' him much comfort.”

Maureen dropped her head. “Now somethin' else makes sense too.”

“What?”

“Like the connection I felt to Jay right after I met him. He told me that he felt a connection to me too. There was somethin' that we couldn't put our fingers on that seemed to draw us to each other. It made me feel a bond that I never felt with another person before in my life.” Maureen smiled. “Now I know why. Poor Jay. He was born into a family of thugs. Mrs. Freeman saved him from God knows what kind of life.”

“Yeah, that old woman did save Jay.” Virgil paused and gave Maureen a guarded look. “Uh, and from what I know and heard about your real mama's folks, most of them walked on the wild side too. You and Jay got that in common as well.”

“Mama Ruby saved me.” Maureen smiled again, but not for long. A few seconds later, sadness filled her eyes once more. “Virgil, where is my other mama buried?”

“Huh?”

“Do you know where my other mama is buried?”

“Uh, yeah. Her grave ain't but a few feet away from where we buried Mama Ruby.”

Maureen blinked back another tear.

“The next time we go to the cemetery to put flowers on Mama Ruby's grave, I want to put some on my real mama's grave too. I want to do that every time we go to the cemetery from now on. It's the least I can do for the woman that gave me life.”

“M
O'REEN, I KNOW YOU SAID I DIDN'T HAVE NOTHIN' TO BE APOLOGIZIN'
for, but I'm doin' it anyway. I'm doin' it for Mama Ruby, may she rest in peace till we join her. She was my mama and I will always love her, so it's the least I can do for her.”

“Mama Ruby must be spinnin' in her grave by now,” Maureen croaked.

“Just try not to hate her too much. She was desperate. I mean, she honestly thought that you was born dead and that she brought you to life when she laid her healin' hands on you. To Mama Ruby, that was a sure sign that God had answered her prayers. She stole you out of love, not to get back at Othella or just to be playin' a prank like that young girl that took Jay out of his stroller.”

Maureen stared off into space, trying to absorb everything she had heard so far. She almost accused Virgil of playing a joke on her again. Maybe this was his way of getting her to stop dwelling on Jay's case so much, but Virgil wasn't the kind of man to play jokes on people, especially her. Who in their right mind would tell a woman a story as bizarre as the one he'd just told her?

“Mo'reen, I hope you ain't too mad. Do you hate Mama Ruby now?” Virgil asked, with his face looking like he wanted to disappear.

Maureen smiled and vigorously shook her head. “I could never hate Mama Ruby, Virgil. I can't believe you would even think somethin' like that. There is just no tellin' how I would have turned out if my real mama had raised me! Why, I could even be dead. I could have burned up with the rest of her kids that night!”

“You still real upset, ain't you? You feelin' as lost and confused as Jay?”

Maureen started to shake her head but stopped and shrugged instead. “I don't know. I don't know what I'm feelin' right now,” she admitted. “Mama Ruby was a strange woman, but who would have thought she'd run off with another woman's baby?”

“Nobody would have guessed that she'd do somethin' like that. Especially to her best friend. I hope this don't change things between me and you,” Virgil said, looking like he had lost every friend he had in the world. “I'll get out of your life completely if you want me to.”

Maureen's eyes got big. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Virgil shrugged tiredly. This conversation had taken a heavy toll on his rapidly weakening body. “If you don't want to have nothin' more to do with me, I understand. Every time you see me now, you will think about everything I just told you. Maybe I should haul ass so you can live in peace.”

“Do you want
me
out of your life?” Maureen asked, choking on a sob. “You must be feelin' real strange about me now, too, Virgil. I don't even want to think about how hard it must have been for you to know what you know and look at me every day all these years. Where would you go if you do decide to leave Florida to get away from me?”

“Corrine keeps whinin' about movin' back to Georgia to be closer to her folks.”

“Oh. Do you want to move to Georgia? If you want to move with your wife so y'all can be closer to her family, that's fine with me, but I don't want you to leave just so you won't have to be around me. Don't you even think like that!”

“Well, other than you and Lo'retta, I ain't got no reason to stay on in Florida nohow.”

“What about your job? I know how crazy that lawyer you work for is about you. I know you like drivin' him around in that big limousine of his too.”

Virgil waved his hand. “Aw, shoot. I could get a job anywhere. The thing is, I even thought about reconnectin' with some of Mama Ruby's kinfolks back in Louisiana anyway. I get a letter or a phone call every now and then from distant cousins and other kinfolks I hardly know.”

“What about Othella's family back in Louisiana?”

“Huh?”

“You said she had folks back there.”

“That's right. We can go out there and track 'em down if you want to. It would be nice for you to know them and for them to know you.”

Maureen shook her head. “If we do go to Louisiana, I don't want them or anybody else there to know what Mama Ruby done.”

“If they are your kinfolks, don't you think they have a right to know?”

“For all we know, they could be ten times worse than Jay's kinfolks,” Maureen said in a distant voice. “You said my mama's folks walked on the wide side.”

“You got a point there. Look how a bunch of crazy relatives disrupted Jay's life. I bet he wishes now that Mrs. Freeman had not told him . . . never mind.”

Maureen gave Virgil a pleading look. “Please don't talk like that. Mrs. Freeman did the right thing by tellin' Jay, and you did the right thing by tellin' me.” Maureen exhaled as she wiped some sweat off Virgil's face with her napkin. “I would like to meet somebody in my real family at least once. If they turn out to be gangsters, too, I don't have to deal with them again if I don't want to.”

Virgil nodded. “Well, we'll go to Louisiana real soon. Now, if you ready to go home to finish moppin' your kitchen floor, that's fine with me. I didn't know if I was goin' to be able to walk out of here on my own or not, so I want to thank you for not coldcockin' me.”

“Don't talk like that, Virgil. I would never hurt you.” Maureen patted her brother's hand and gave him a mysterious look. “You know, I think Mrs. Freeman did the right thing by confessin', but in a way I wish she hadn't.”

“Why not? The way you was walkin' around talkin' about what an evil thing she done! A minute ago, didn't you
just
say she done the right thing by tellin'? Why did you change your tune so quick?”

“Because if Jay's story hadn't come out, he would still be the happy-go-lucky guy he was when I met him. If his story hadn't come out, maybe mine wouldn't have either.”

“You would still be the same happy-go-lucky woman you used to be?”

“I might and I might not,” Maureen said with a faraway look in her eyes. Then she frowned and said, “Forget what I just said about Mrs. Freeman not tellin'! I don't know what I'm sayin'. It's just that I got to get used to all of this.”

“I'll help you do that. I hope you can still act normal. The last thing I want is for you to start actin' so odd that people will notice that somethin' is wrong and badger you until you tell them.”

Maureen gasped and her eyes got big again. “Virgil, you don't have to worry about me tellin' anybody. I know how to keep a secret.”

“I thought I did too,” Virgil said, “but I was wrong. I couldn't keep Mama Ruby's secret after all, and I'd promised her I would.”

“Well, you kept the secret as long as you was supposed to,” Maureen said with a yawn. “Such a promise was meant to be broken sooner or later.”

Virgil nodded in agreement and then he yawned too. “You look tired. Go home and get some rest,” he said. “I need to do the same thing. This conversation took a lot out of both of us. Call me if you need to talk about it some more, though.”

 

The next morning, Maureen felt like she had been run over by a steamroller. She looked awful with her puffy face and red, swollen eyes. Loretta didn't hesitate to let her know that.

“You look like somethin' that a cat dragged in, Mama. Maybe I should stay home from school today and keep an eye on you,” Loretta said as she followed Maureen from the living room into the kitchen.

“You have a math test today. You need to go to school,” Maureen told her, stopping in front of the stove to pour herself a cup of the coffee that Mel had made. Maureen was glad that he was still in the shower. She didn't want him to hear what Loretta was babbling about this time.

“You pregnant?” Loretta asked with a frown, pressing her palm against Maureen's belly. “Please say no. I would never be able to show my face around here again if you got pregnant.”

Maureen gasped. “What makes you think I'm pregnant, girl?” She slapped Loretta's hand away. Loretta followed Maureen back into her bedroom.

“I heard you throwin' up in the bathroom a little while ago. Ever since you came home yesterday evenin', you been lookin' and actin' strange. Mel said you was probably just drunk.”

“I wasn't drunk, and you won't be gettin' a baby brother or sister.” Maureen stopped in front of the mirror on her closet door. Loretta was still behind her.

“You look weird too. Your eyes are all glassy,” Loretta pointed out.

Maureen turned around and faced Loretta, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and giving her a firm hug. “I'm fine, baby. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just a little tired from workin' so hard at the home.”

Loretta moved a few feet back. “I know that thing about Jay is still on your mind. Maybe you should break off your friendship with him. That long face he walks around with might rub off on you sooner or later. The thing I'm really worried about, and Mel is, too, is Jay goin' off the deep end and takin' you with him.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Mama, Jay could snap at any time. I can't imagine a person who was kidnapped and findin' it out after so many years like he did not goin' crazy sooner or later. I know I would!”

Maureen tickled Loretta's chin. “You don't have to worry. I didn't kidnap you. Mama Ruby wouldn't even let me bring home a puppy, let alone some other woman's baby.” Maureen caught herself when she realized what she was saying. A frightened look appeared on her face.

“What's wrong now?” Loretta hollered. “Your face looks like it's about to crack open.”

“Nothin' is the matter,” Maureen replied.

 

A couple hours later, Maureen felt profoundly sad. She knew that her life would never be the same again, and she couldn't even discuss it with her husband or her friends. Despite the fact that they would be supportive, the last thing Maureen wanted to have to deal with was Catty, Fast Black, and her coworkers treating her like some kind of alien. That was how some people were treating Jay now.

However, Maureen's biggest concern was that she had already noticed a difference in Virgil's behavior. He had not been to her apartment or called her up since they left the bar yesterday. She had called his house earlier in the day, knowing that he and Corrine had probably gone to work, but she'd left him a message to call her as soon as he could. He didn't call her back until after 9:00 p.m.

“I meant to call you back before now, but the lady Corrine carpools with got sick and couldn't bring her home from the cannery, so I had to go pick her up. Then we went to that steak house off the freeway,” Virgil explained.

“I had called because I wanted to make sure that everything was all right with you,” Maureen told Virgil. “You didn't look too good when we left that bar.”

“I-I'm fine,” he stuttered in a heavy voice, like he could barely stand the weight of his words. “You need anything?”

Maureen thought that was an odd question for him to ask.

“No, I don't need anything right now. I'm fine too,” she replied.

“Yeah. Well, I'm kind of busy right now. I'll talk to you later,” was all Virgil said next. Then he hung up.