Lost Angel (18 page)

‘I’m not tired,’ Johnny told her. ‘You go. I’m going to see if I can find the scores.’

‘I wanted us to go together,’ Ruth whined. ‘It’s our first night in our new house.’

‘I’ll be up in a bit.’ Johnny pulled a cigarette out of his pack and lit up.

‘Why are you being so horrible?’ Ruth demanded, feeling sorry for herself.

‘
Me
?’ Johnny gave her an incredulous look. ‘I’m not the one who invited people round, then spent the whole night acting like I couldn’t wait for them to go.’

‘I’m
tired
,’ Ruth wailed, as if that excused her behaviour.

‘So go to bed,’ said Johnny.

Ruth gritted her teeth when he turned back to the TV. She stomped upstairs and got undressed. She’d folded her clothes and was on her way to the bathroom when she heard a knock on the front door.

‘Who’s that?’ she asked, peering down the stairs as Johnny headed towards the door

He looked through the spyhole. ‘Lisa.’

‘Don’t answer it,’ she hissed.

Ignoring her, Johnny opened the door.

‘Sorry for disturbing you again,’ Lisa said, giving him an apologetic smile as she shivered on the step.

‘You’re all right,’ he said, frowning when he noticed the scared look in her eyes. ‘Has something happened?’

‘Not really.’ She glanced nervously back over her shoulder. ‘There were some lads hanging round at the corner when I was going for the bus, and they started following me and saying stuff. It freaked me out ’cos I didn’t know if they were going to jump me, or something.’

Johnny stepped outside and looked down the deserted road. ‘They’re not there now, but you’d best wait inside for a few minutes – make sure they’ve really gone.’

‘What’s going on?’ Ruth demanded, rushing downstairs as Lisa stepped in. ‘Why have you come back?’

‘Some lads were trying it on with her,’ Johnny explained. ‘And she’s a bit shook up, so I’ve said she can wait here till they’ve gone.’

‘I’m still shaking.’ Lisa perched on the edge of the chair he’d just vacated and held out her hand to show them. ‘Don’t suppose you’ve got any of that wine left, have you?’

Ruth tightened her dressing-gown belt when Johnny went off to get Lisa a drink, and sat down on the couch with a sour expression on her face.

‘I know you’re pissed off with me for coming back,’ Lisa said apologetically. ‘I would have gone to Dave’s, but then I would have had to go through the park and that would have been worse ’cos there were loads of them.’

‘Dave reckons the Salford crew have been sniffing around over the last few days,’ Johnny called out from the kitchen. ‘He reckons they’re getting geared up for another war in the Moss.’

‘Trust Dave to know something like that.’ Ruth gave a disapproving tut. ‘And you wonder why I don’t like you hanging around with him.’

Johnny ground his teeth as he poured the wine and got himself a can of beer out of the fridge.

‘Just because he knows about it doesn’t mean he’s involved,’ he said, coming back and handing the wine to Lisa. ‘Anyway, you need to know about these things when you live around here, so you know when to keep your head down.’

‘He’s right,’ Lisa confirmed, nodding sagely. ‘You’ve never lived round here before, so you don’t know what it’s like.’

‘You don’t live round here, either,’ Ruth reminded her tartly.

‘No, but I’ve spent a lot more time here than you,’ Lisa countered. ‘You only ever saw the inside of Johnny’s bedroom, so you don’t know what it’s like out on the street. It can be dead rough, can’t it, Johnny?’

‘Really rough,’ he agreed, peeling back the tab on his can. ‘But it’s cool if you keep yourself to yourself. I’ve had some of the best times of my life round here.’

‘Me too,’ Lisa cooed.

Sickened by the way they were smiling at each other, like they were exclusive members of the Hulme Appreciation Club, or something, Ruth sniffed and said, ‘You’d best hurry up with that, Lisa. The bus comes in ten minutes – wouldn’t want you to miss it.’

Lisa flicked her a cold glance from under her lashes and took a swig of her wine. The bitch had a spare bed sitting empty upstairs, and any other relative would be insisting right about now that she stay the night. But not Ruth. She couldn’t wait to shove Lisa back out into the war zone.

Johnny was thinking much the same thing. But he couldn’t be arsed with the argument he’d get if he suggested letting Lisa stay the night, so instead he said, ‘I’ll walk you to the bus stop.’

‘We’re going to bed,’ Ruth reminded him icily.

‘No one’s asking you to come,’ Johnny replied irritably. ‘But I’m not having your dad blame me if she goes by herself and gets attacked.’

Ruth was furious but she couldn’t argue with what he’d said, because her dad
would
go mad if he heard that her cousin had been in potential danger and she’d refused to help her out.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Lisa insisted. ‘I’ll be all right. I’ve got a big gob. I’ll just scream my head off if anything happens.’

‘I’m walking you,’ Johnny said firmly.

Ruth’s eyes were blazing when she saw them out a few minutes later. ‘Don’t wait with her,’ she hissed at Johnny through gritted teeth. ‘Just see her to the bus stop, then come straight back.’

Lisa folded her arms as she and Johnny set off with Ruth’s glare dogging their every step.

‘Sorry about that. If I’d known it was going to upset her this much I wouldn’t have come back. I hope you’re not going to get into trouble?’

‘Probably,’ Johnny muttered. ‘But it’s not your fault, so don’t worry about it.’

‘It is, though, isn’t it?’ Lisa said guiltily. ‘None of this would be happening if I wasn’t here. You’d have had a nice dinner with Dave, and everything would still be lovely.’

‘You reckon?’ Johnny snorted softly.

Lisa glanced at him out of the corner of her eye as they walked on in silence. His version of married life sounded very different from Ruth’s – and she knew which one she believed.

When they reached the bus stop, she said, ‘Thanks for walking me, but you’d best not wait. Don’t want to get you in any more trouble.’

‘I’d be in trouble whether I went straight back or stayed out till morning,’ Johnny told her. Then, sighing, he said, ‘Sorry, don’t mean to be such a miserable git. I’m just tired.’

‘I’m not surprised,’ Lisa said knowingly. ‘Uncle Frankie was singing your praises to my mum the other day, going on about how hard you’ve been working.
And
you’ve done up the house on top of all that,’ she went on approvingly. ‘Ruth doesn’t know how lucky she is, ’cos there’s not many men who’d knock themselves out for their wives like that.’

Johnny shrugged. ‘She’s had a rough few weeks.’

‘So have you,’ Lisa reminded him softly as she pulled her cigarettes out of her pocket. She offered him one and lit one for herself. Shivering, she pulled her collar a little higher around her throat. ‘Thought Ruth said that bus would be here soon.’

‘Should be.’

Johnny leaned back against the shelter and took a deep drag on his fag, squinting at her through the smoke. After the way she’d come on to him at the wedding he’d been dreading seeing her today. But she’d been cool. She hadn’t reacted badly to any of Ruth’s snipes, which must have been hard; and she’d even been nice to Dave, which couldn’t have been easy considering it was the first time they’d seen each other since their latest split. And she looked good, too, in her tight T-shirt and equally tight miniskirt – which was more than could be said for Ruth, in her frumpy ankle-length dress. Ruth was only seventeen but she was rapidly turning into a duplicate of her mother – and that was a real passion-killer, both in and out of bed.

‘Can I say something?’ Lisa asked quietly. ‘About what happened at the wedding.’

‘What about it?’ Johnny snapped out of his thoughts and took another drag on his cigarette.

‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry.’ She gave him a repentant smile. ‘I drank too much, and I was well out of order for saying all that stuff to you.’

‘Forget it.’ Johnny shrugged. ‘I have.’

‘It still shouldn’t have happened,’ Lisa murmured. ‘My mum reckons I need gagging when I’ve been drinking.’

Johnny grinned, but before he could say anything else the bus trundled into view. As it drew alongside, Lisa smiled and said, ‘See you, then. And tell our Ruth I’m sorry.’

Johnny nodded and watched as she hopped aboard, paid her fare and made her way to the back seat.

Lisa turned her head and waved goodbye through the window – just a little flick of a wave, though, nothing too obvious. Then, turning to face the front as the bus drove on, she clenched her fist and pumped the air in a gesture of victory.

Oh, yes! She was
so
going to have him. But this time she would wait for him to come to her.

Ruth was standing on the doorstep when Johnny got home, her arms tightly folded, the same pissy scowl on her face.

‘Don’t tell me you’ve been there the whole time I’ve been gone?’ he asked, waiting for her to move so that he could get in.

‘Thought you were only supposed to be walking her there and coming straight back,’ she said accusingly. ‘But I see you stayed long enough to have a smoke. And don’t lie, ’cos I can smell it.’

‘So, we had a fag,’ Johnny admitted, pushing past her. ‘Anyone would think we’d been shagging in the bushes, the way you’re going on about it.’

‘Don’t swear at me,’ Ruth snapped, closing the door.

‘Well, don’t make out like I’ve been up to something when I haven’t,’ he snapped back as he took off his jacket and threw it onto the couch.

‘I wasn’t,’ she lied, her chin wobbling as tears flooded her eyes. ‘I’ve just lost a baby, but none of you even cares. You all just sat there ignoring me all night.’

‘No, we didn’t,’ Johnny said wearily, wondering where the hell
that
had come from. ‘We were just trying to enjoy our dinner, that’s all.’

‘So you’re saying
I
ruined it?’

‘No, I’m saying you were tired, and everyone was walking on eggshells trying not to upset you. But it’s over now, so you might as well stop worrying about it.’

Ruth gazed up at him like a badly treated puppy in need of reassurance.

‘You hate me, don’t you?’

Oh, Jeezus, not this again
, thought Johnny, turning his back on her and switching off the lamp. He inhaled deeply. He hated the wheedling tone of voice she used when she’d been called to account. It made him feel physically sick.

‘I’m sorry,’ Ruth whimpered. ‘I tried really hard to be nice, but no one understands what it feels like to lose a baby. I’m trying to pretend that everything’s okay, but it’s not that easy.’

‘Let’s just go to bed,’ Johnny said, waving her towards the stairs. ‘You’ll feel better in the morning.’

10

Spring was in the air when Johnny stepped out of the door, and his spirits rose briefly when he felt the warmth of the first real sunshine of the year caressing the top of his head.

‘You forgot this,’ Ruth said, casting shadows as she came into the doorway behind him and held out his butty box. ‘And don’t forget my mum’s coming round, so make sure you’re not late home ’cos she’ll be staying for dinner.’

‘Can’t wait,’ he muttered.

Rita turned up not long after he’d gone. It was the first time she’d clapped eyes on the house since Frankie had announced that he’d bought it, because she’d stubbornly refused to come anywhere near the place when they’d been doing it up. But curiosity had finally got the better of her.

The way Ruth had jabbered on about it she’d expected it to be some kind of little palace, so she was pleasantly surprised to walk in and see how poky and dark it actually was. But it especially amused her to notice her influence stamped all over it. Ruth made out like she was a big independent woman, with a mind and taste of her own, but she’d done up the living room like an almost exact replica of Rita’s parlour. The curtains were the same colour, the nets had the same pattern, and the ornaments were actually Rita’s own, from the little crystal bell to the horseshoe nailed above the front door.

Independent woman, my backside
, Rita scoffed to herself. Ruth might go by the name of Conroy these days, but she was her mother’s daughter through and through – and that stupid husband of hers was wrong if he thought he was going to keep them apart.

It was easy to see which was Johnny’s chair because it was the only one that had an ashtray on the table beside it. So that was where Rita parked herself after she and Ruth got back from their shopping trip into town a few hours later.

And she was still there when Johnny got home from work that evening; slipper-clad feet up on the footstool, TV remote in one hand, glass of whisky and Coke in the other.

‘Remembered where you lived, then, did you?’ she sniped, looking pointedly at the clock.

Furious, Johnny walked straight into the kitchen without answering.

Ruth smiled when she saw him and raised up onto her tiptoes to kiss him.

‘Dinner’s nearly ready,’ she told him. ‘I got some nice steak while we were in town. Oh, and the phone got switched on while we were out,’ she added, reaching for the kettle to make him a cup of tea. ‘I’ve already rung dad to give him the number. Which reminds me . . . he’s got a late meeting tonight, so I said Mum might as well stay the night. Don’t mind, do you?’

‘What do you think?’ Johnny asked.

‘I could hardly say no, could I?’ Ruth said quietly. ‘And it’s only for one night.’

‘Make sure it is,’ he said, snatching an ashtray off the drainer. ‘I’m going for a bath.’

One night quickly became two, and then three, until Rita was turning up with her whisky and her nightie whenever Frankie went off on one of his ‘late meetings’. Which pissed Johnny off no end, especially since he’d begun to suspect that there were no meetings – not business ones, anyway. He had no proof, but he’d heard enough of Frankie’s phone calls by now to know the difference between him talking business and talking sweet.

Ruth knew that he hated finding her mum there when he got home, but it seemed stupid for them to be lonely in separate houses while their men were at work for such long hours. And, if she was honest, she was enjoying having her mum back in her life. She’d been dying to escape from her for as long as she could remember, but the reality of living apart had been much harder than she’d expected.