LOST AND FOUND HUSBAND (5 page)

Eric felt as if he was heading to the gallows. Off with his head for being the man who’d crushed Dana and confused Kaley.

“You’re having a baby?” she finally asked.

“Yes. She wants to keep it.”

“Two old people having a kid. Who would have thought...”

Oh, cripes
. Here came the rest of his admission. “She isn’t old. She’s only twenty-six.”

Kaley’s eyes went wide again. Super wide. “
Dad
. Oh, my God.
Dad
.”

“I know. It’s crazy. She’s a waitress at a diner where I used to eat, and she invited me on a date, and then I stayed the night with her. It was just that once. I knew she was too young for me. I knew better.”

“When is the baby due?”

“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

“She didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. All I know is that she’s around five weeks and they’re going to do an ultrasound at six weeks.”

“It’s still really early.”

“Our date was around Valentine’s Day. It was the gallery opening I mentioned to you.”

“Oh, yes. I remember that. So what’s your baby mama’s name?”

His baby mama? He didn’t like that phrase. It was too carefree a depiction. “Dana.”

“Is she nice? Will I like her?”

“Yes, I think you’ll like her.”

Eric could see her expression change as she mulled it over, an intrigued light glittering in her dark eyes.

“This is actually pretty exciting, Dad. I mean, first I meet my birth parents and now I’m going to have a little brother or sister. Are you and Dana going to start dating again?”

“No, Kaley, it isn’t like that.”

She gaped at him. “You’re having a baby together, but you’re not going to pursue a relationship?”

“I told you, she’s too young for me.”

“Come on, what’s age? Only a number.”

“I hate that saying.”

“’Cause you’re being a grump. At least try to rejoice in the baby you created.”

“I don’t know how to be a father again.”

“Sure you do. Just do what you did with me.”

“It isn’t the same.”

“How can you say that? You adopted me, a child who wasn’t even your blood, and loved me and cared for me. How can you not love and care for the one your baby mama is going to have?”

“Quit calling her my baby mama.”

“Fine. Dana, then. How does she feel about all of this?”

“Mostly she’s just scared. She never wanted to be an unwed mother.” As long as they were talking openly, he went ahead and relayed Dana’s family history. He didn’t see the point in keeping it a secret. “This is as bad for her as it is for me.”

“As bad for her? It’s worse. Way worse.”

“You’re right. It is.” He’d already considered how traumatic it was for Dana. “But I can’t make it better for her. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“You could marry her, if she’ll have you.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Marriage isn’t an option.”

“Maybe you’re supposed to think of it as an option. Maybe this baby is the Creator’s way of filling that empty space in your heart. Mom is gone, Dad, and she’s not coming back.”

“I know she’s gone.” He knew that better than anyone. “I don’t love Dana, and I’m not marrying a woman I don’t love.”

“They say that people can learn to love each other.”

“I’m past the point of learning to love someone. I had the real deal.”

“And you’re going to wallow in it for the rest of your life? Mom wouldn’t have liked that.”

“Please don’t talk to me about what your mom would have liked.” He knew exactly what Corrine would be telling him to do. When she’d finally resigned herself to the fact that she was dying, she’d started in on him about moving on with his life after she was gone. So much so, they’d argued about it.

Kaley heaved a sigh. “I feel sorry for Dana. What if some guy did to me what you’re doing to her? What if he was keeping himself detached from me and the baby I was going to have?”

That was something he prayed would never happen. “I’m going to help her pay for everything. I’m going to try to do what I can.”

“That’s not the same as being there for someone. I’ll bet she would marry you if you asked her.”

“I already told her that I couldn’t, and she agreed that we shouldn’t.”

“I think she would reconsider.”

“You don’t even know her, Kaley.”

“I know how girls feel. Need I remind you that I’m a girl? And if the worst thing in the world to me was being a single mom and the baby daddy offered to marry me, I’d do it.”

Baby daddy. Baby mama. He’d told her to quit with that stuff. “Marriage isn’t something someone should leap into.”

“It’s not fair that you get to control the situation.”

“I’m not in control of anything.” He was confused and powerless, unsure of what the hell he was supposed to do. “You have no idea how this is affecting me.”

“I think you’re putting your needs before hers.”

“You have no right to judge me.”

“For being a jerk?”

“Okay, fine. I’m a jerk. I’m the worst expectant father who ever lived. But damn it, Kaley. Lay off me.”

“I’m really starting to hate you right now.”

“Yeah, well, go ahead.” At the moment, he hated himself, too.

“Good. Fine. Hate it is.” She stormed off to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Eric remained in his chair, lost in the mess he’d made of everyone’s lives.

* * *

After an hour had passed, Eric knocked on Kaley’s door.

She called out, “Come in,” and he entered the room. It was the same room she’d had since she was a child, triggering memories of her when she was little, content in her kid-oriented world. The sugar-and-spice decor had changed since then, reflecting her age now, but he was remembering it as it had been.

She sat on her bed, with her knees drawn to her chest, her iPad beside her. She was always using an electronic device of some kind.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I’m sorry, too.” She gestured for him to come closer. “I don’t hate you, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He loved her with every ounce of who he was. “You’re everything to me.”

“The new baby should be everything, too.”

“I just found out about it a few days ago. I need more time to accept what’s happening.”

“I know. It just bothers me that you seem so detached.”

“I’ll try to become more attached.”

“I still think you should offer to marry Dana.”

“Oh, Kaley.” He sat down in her desk chair. “Life just isn’t that simple.”

“I think it can be, if you let it. Look at what happened with Victoria and Ryan.”

Victoria and Ryan were her birth parents, and yes, they’d come a long way, but the circumstances were different. “It isn’t the same.”

“Ryan detached himself from me and Victoria when I was born.”

“Because he was scared.”

“You’re scared, too.”

“That doesn’t mean I should marry Dana. And I already told you, she agreed that it wasn’t the right thing for us to do.”

“But it wasn’t a legitimate offer. You didn’t ask her to marry you. You didn’t give her the opportunity to think about it.”

“She probably already thought about it on her own.”

“Only because she assumed it wasn’t an option. At least if you ask, you’ll have a chance to explore the subject. At least then you two can discuss it and see if it really could be a possibility.”

He didn’t reply. But he knew whatever he said wouldn’t matter. Kaley was determined to sway him, and when she wanted something, she wasn’t going to give up.

She said, “You’re a traditional man, Dad. An honorable man. You shouldn’t have a baby out of wedlock, and especially with a woman who vowed to never be a single mother.”

“All right. So let’s say for the sake of argument that I ask her and she agrees, and then we have a crappy marriage. How is that helping the baby?”

“At least the child will look back on his or her life and know that you tried to be a family.”

“It’s a nice notion, and your heart is in the right place, but I—”

“Please, just think about it. Even if Dana turns you down, at least you offered. At least she can tell her family that the man was willing to marry her.”

“You’re awfully committed to a woman you’ve never even met, Kaley.”

“She’s going to give birth to my brother or sister. I should be committed to making this easier for her.”

“You and your women’s causes.”

“My minor is women’s studies,” she reminded him. “So what do you expect, for me to take the male perspective on this?”

“Even if the male perspective belongs to your father?”

“Especially if it belongs to my dad. I want to be proud of the way you’re handling the situation.”

As opposed to being ashamed of his detachment? Eric looked into her eyes. He wanted her to be proud of him. He wanted to be the man she believed him to be. He wanted to try to be that man for Dana and their baby, too, if that was possible.

He stood up, took a deep breath and told himself he could do this, no matter how scared he was. “I’ll talk to Dana about it.”

Kaley jumped off the bed and flung herself into his arms. “Thank you, Daddy.”

He nuzzled her hair, thinking about the child in Dana’s womb and how someday that little person was going to call him “Daddy,” too.

“You won’t regret it,” she said.

He held his daughter a bit closer and hoped that she was right. Because if she wasn’t, then Eric was about to embark on what could possibly be the biggest mistake of his life.

Chapter Five

D
ana left the diner and walked out to the parking lot toward her car. She was exhausted—mentally, emotionally and physically. She wasn’t having full-on morning sickness, but she’d had a few quick bursts of queasiness. A prelude, she supposed, of what was yet to come.

All she wanted at this point was to go home and sleep, and it was only 6 p.m. So far, being pregnant wasn’t fun. Of course no one claimed that it would be. And being a single mom wasn’t going to make it any easier. But what good would it do to keep reminding herself of that? It would only create more stress. And if she was stressed, then the baby would feel it, too.

Her sweet little illegitimate baby. A stigma Dana knew all too well. But who was she supposed to blame for history repeating itself? Herself? Eric? It wasn’t his fault any more than it was hers. Still, raising this baby by herself wasn’t an easy pill to swallow.

As she neared her car, she saw a tall, dark man standing beside it. Eric? Yes, Eric. She’d just been thinking about him and now there he was. His car was parked next to hers.

Nearly a week had passed since she’d told him about the baby, and he looked handsome as ever, with his chiseled features, casual clothes and masculine intensity. Dana was still attracted to him, but she wished that she wasn’t. Having those types of feelings for him wasn’t in her best interest.

Was he here to discuss the health insurance policy they’d talked about? She hadn’t had time to get any estimates.

She hadn’t had time to do anything, not even call her mom and grandmother. No, that wasn’t true. She’d purposely avoided that. When it came to her family, Dana was burying her head in the sand.

“Hey,” Eric said to her. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Here?”

“We can sit in my car.” He lifted his hand and extended a tall paper cup with a straw sticking out of the lid. “I got you a milkshake. The best in the city, I think.”

Was this her first pregnancy craving? Now she was hungry for exactly what he was offering: thick, creamy chocolate. “Better than the one we shared at the pier?”

“It’s just as good. It’s from an ice cream shop near where I live.”

Dana snatched it up and took a long, satisfying slurp. He moved a little closer, and she frowned. She didn’t want him crowding her.

He cleared his throat, then said, “I’m sorry that I didn’t offer the security you and the baby deserve.”

Confused, she sucked down a bit more of the drink. “You offered to pay child support. And cover medical expenses, too.”

“That’s not the kind of security I mean. I’m talking about emotional support. I talked to Kaley about you, and she opened my eyes to what I should have seen on my own. She thinks I should propose, and I agree with her that I should.” His voice went soft. “I apologize for not having done it before now.”

Oh, God.
Dana’s heart thumped. Dare she ask? Dare she make him say it? “Propose what?”

He made an old-fashioned gesture, bending slightly at the waist. “Marriage. Ask for your hand in matrimony.” He righted his posture.

“Is that why you’re here? To propose?”

“Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here.”

“I think I need to sit down.” Suddenly she was feeling a tad dizzy.

Eric opened the passenger door to his car, and she slid onto the seat and told herself to breathe. He got behind the wheel. She rolled the milkshake cup across her forehead, grateful for its icy coolness.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m getting there.” She lowered the cup. “Do you want to get married, Eric?”

“I want to do what’s right, and you shouldn’t have to be a single mom, not if I can do something about it.” He paused as if he was collecting his thoughts. “I want to make it easier for you.”

“You were reluctant to go on a date with me and now you’re talking marriage. That’s a huge step, Eric.”

“Yes, it is, and I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not scared of being a husband and father again. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t do whatever I can to try to make it work with you and give our child two full-time parents.”

Dana studied him: his candid expression, the anticipation in his dark brown eyes. He seemed sincere, but how could she be sure that he was emotionally equipped to back up his claim?

She thought about what he’d said about his daughter encouraging him to do this. “Why is Kaley so adamant about marriage? Does she think this is fate?”

“That’s part of it. Also, I told her about your family history and she feels badly for you. Plus she’s excited about having a brother or sister. She’s already getting attached to the baby in her mind.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Dana cradled her stomach. “I’m attached, too. Afraid of what the future will entail, but attached.”

“I was hoping that my proposal would help you feel less afraid. But you’re still scared, just like I am.”

Yes, she was. But regardless of either of their fears, she wanted to say yes, to jump at the chance to make their child legitimate, but she knew that she shouldn’t leap headfirst into something an idealistic eighteen-year-old girl had cooked up. “I haven’t told my family about the baby yet.”

“Now you can tell them that the father proposed.”

“They’ll think I’m crazy if I decline your offer. Especially when they ask what you’re like and I tell them that you’re an attractive, hardworking, responsible man who already raised an adoptive child.” They would think Eric was the catch of the century.

“You have to do what’s right for you, not your family.”

“I don’t want to be a single parent, you know that. But I’m concerned about rushing into something that could cause both of us pain afterward.” She met his gaze. “Marriage is difficult enough, let alone in a situation like ours.”

“Kaley compared us to Ryan and Victoria. Her birth parents,” he clarified. “It’s not the same, but they still had major obstacles to overcome.”

She remembered him telling her that Kaley’s birth parents had reunited and were getting married this summer. She also recalled him saying how young they were when they conceived.

“When Victoria got pregnant, she and Ryan were in high school,” he said, confirming what she already knew. “Their families convinced them that adoption was the only answer. But secretly Victoria wanted to keep the baby. She dreamed of marrying Ryan.”

“Was she in love with him?”

“Yes. He loved her, too, but he didn’t realize that he did, not until many years later. He was too mixed-up to sort out his feelings. But the one noble thing he did was promise to be there when the baby was born. Only he panicked when she went into labor and never showed up at the hospital. Victoria didn’t forgive him, not until Kaley came back into their lives.”

“Their background is nothing like ours. We aren’t lovelorn teenagers. You were my customer at the diner and we had one sexy date.”

“I know, but there was still a baby involved, and they didn’t even get to keep theirs. At least we have the option of getting married and raising our child together.”

Yes, they had that option. But Eric’s daughter comparing them to Ryan and Victoria didn’t help Dana feel better. Not when the other couple was in love, and she and Eric were nothing of the sort. That alone should be reason enough
not
to marry him. But the devastation of being a single parent was still weighing on her heart. “I’m grateful for your proposal. It’s a very kind thing for you to do. But I need more time to think about it. I still have reservations about rushing into anything, for both our sakes.”

“I understand. And I’ll be here for you, either way. The best I can.”

The best he could. That was all she could ask, wasn’t it? For him to be a good father to their baby. And a good husband to her, too? She didn’t know if that was possible.

She curiously asked, “What kind of wife do you think I’d make?”

“Let me see.” He took a moment to respond. “I think you’d be sweet and funny. And busy. You’d always be jumping into some sort of scattered project. You’d be messy, too.” He smiled. “You’d probably leave your clothes all over our bedroom.”

She rolled her eyes. “You make me sound like a handful.”

“Because you probably would be.” He leaned over and bumped her shoulder. “Of course you do have that home-cooking thing going for you.”

“A big point in my favor.”

“A huge point.”

At least there was something she did that he admired in a wife, although it did strike her as a bit chauvinist. “I should probably kick you to the curb right now.”

“For appreciating your cooking? What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. I’m just being sensitive, I guess. I didn’t mean to overreact, and I’m glad you like my cooking.”

Besides, she realized it was a stupid question anyway. He couldn’t know what sort of wife she would make anymore than she could know what type of husband he would be.

There was a lot to consider, including his broken past. If Dana married him, would it be her job to try to fix him? Candy had already accused her of being drawn to troubled people.

“I think I should go home,” she said, feeling overrun with the decision she had to make. “I’m tired from a long work day.” She couldn’t think about fixing the broken, not now, not while she was uncertain about her own future.

Before she reached for the door handle, he asked, “When is the ultrasound? You didn’t have it already, did you?”

“No. It’s tomorrow.”

“Is Candy still going with you?”

“Yes. She’ll be there.”

“Will you let me know how it turns out?”

“I’ll bring you the picture if you want to see it.”

“When you first told me about the ultrasound, I thought about what the fetus was probably going to look like.”

“What did you envision?”

“I figured it would look like a peapod or something.”

“A peapod. Oh, that’s cute. Maybe I’ll start calling it Sweet Pea.” She glanced down at her stomach. “What do you think, little one? Do you like Sweet Pea?”

He watched her with a kind of strange wonder, and she realized that this was as new to him as it was to her. He had a child, but he’d never been through a pregnancy.

He said, “Sweet Pea sounds like a girl. Do you think it’s a girl?”

“I have no idea. But the Sweet Pea in
Popeye
was a boy.”

“Ah, that’s right. The cartoon baby. Maybe ours is a boy, too.”

“We’ll be able to find out later. Would you want to know ahead of time?”

“Would you?” He returned the question.

“If you do.”

“We’ll decide when the time comes.”

“There are a lot of things to decide.” First and foremost if she was going to accept his marriage proposal. “I better go now for sure. I really am tired.”

She said goodbye and exited his car, taking what was left of her milkshake. When she got in her car and backed out of the parking space, Eric remained inside his vehicle, watching her as she drove away.

* * *

“Are you nervous?” Candy asked Dana, as they waited in her doctor’s office.

“A little.” But she knew that the ultrasound wasn’t going to be painful. The only discomfort was her bladder. She’d been instructed to drink several glasses of water ahead of time because in first-trimester sonograms, a full bladder made the baby easier to see.

“Just don’t think about Tinkle during the procedure,” Candy said, teasing her.

They grinned foolishly at each other. Clearly, the last thing she needed was to put the sound of the fountain in her head.

After the nurse called Dana’s name and she was settled onto the examination table with her abdomen exposed, she glanced over at Candy. Her friend sat in a chair on the other side of the table.

The technician stood beside the computer, preparing to get underway. Soon Dana’s stomach was covered in a cool gel, and while the technician slid the transducer back and forth, Dana watched the monitor.

Then there it was. Her baby.

She covered her mouth and stifled a laugh. It looked more like a kidney bean than a peapod. But she would be darned if she was going to start calling it Sweet Bean.

“Look at that,” Candy said.

“I know. Sweet Pea is having its picture taken.”

The technician smiled. She was young, probably about Dana’s age.

“Do you have kids?” Dana asked her.

“Not yet.”

“This is my first, and my friend Candy is going to be its godmother.”

“I am?” Candy asked.

Dana turned away from the monitor to look at her. “Yes, you are. I couldn’t be doing this without you.” The drug store test, the doctor visits, the conversations they’d had. “You earned your godmother status.”

“Then I’m honored to accept it. But don’t downplay your strengths. You’re doing just fine, mama, and you’ll continue to do just fine. I’ll bet Sweet Pea thinks so, too.”

They both returned their attention to the screen and marveled at the baby.

When the ultrasound ended, Dana was given two black and white photos of her little angel. She and Candy chatted about the baby on the way home. They talked about Eric’s proposal, too, even though they’d already discussed it at length earlier. Candy wasn’t much help in that regard, other than telling Dana “to do whatever feels right.”

After Candy left for work, Dana spent the remainder of the day milling around, then got a brainstorm. She drove to the pharmacy—the same one where she’d bought the pregnancy test—and purchased two pictures frames.

Once she was back home, she framed Sweet Pea’s photos and placed one of them on her dresser. The other one was for Eric. She had no idea how he would feel about a receiving a framed image of a fetus, but she suspected that Kaley would appreciate it. She was grateful that his daughter was excited about the baby.

Dana still wasn’t sure what to do about Eric’s proposal.

She honestly didn’t know what felt right. If she called her family for their advice, they would tell her to marry the father of her child. For them it would be a no-brainer.

Shouldn’t it be a no-brainer for her, too? She’d promised her mom and grandma that she would never give birth to an illegitimate child. She’d made that same promise to herself.

So why was she dragging her feet? Was it because the proposal had been Kaley’s initial idea and not Eric’s? Or was it because there was no love involved?