Lost and Found (27 page)

"Liv, I'm sorry, but that's just so wrong and unfair to you.
So, here's what I'm going to do."
He pulls the blankets back and rises up and starts heading
down between my legs with his head.

"Cash! What are you doing? Please get up."

"Nope! I'm going to show you what you've been missing,
so that anytime my head even gets near this direction, you're
going to immediately spread your legs. Just lay back and
relax, Liv. You're going to love it!"

After he said that, he winked and grinned at me and
immediately started showing me what all I've missed out
on. I try to protest, but it feels so good that I give in to the
master, because he is definitely the master at awakening my
sexual needs and desires.

****************

“Oh my God, Cash! Please stop! I can’t handle anymore.”

He chuckles with his deep husky breath, and pulls the
blankets back over us and pulls me into his arms, while I try
to catch my breath after I don't know how many orgasms.

"If I have this right. You're really enjoying what I was
doing, but you're asking me to stop? Haha. I'm sorry, Liv.
Am I too much for you?" He's still laughing, which has me giggling at him. Too much? Maybe!

"Oh, Mr. Funny Guy. I doubt I'll be able to walk for a
week after that! Have I built up any comp time yet, so that
I can get some rest?"

He laughs again, but I'm not sure if I'm joking or not. He
definitely has stamina. Maybe I should start working out to
keep up with his sexual appetite! I must say, though, I've never felt better and I can't quit grinning.

"Hahahaha. That's hilarious! I thought you quit looking at
me as your boss? If you need a couple of days off, I'm
sure I can work something out." He still won't quit laughing,
but I don't care. I love his laugh and I'm sure he knows that
I was joking about needing days off anyway.

"I was just joking, but you know that this..." I point at him
and then me. "This thing that we started can't happen while
the kids are here. I think it'll confuse them." He rises up out
of bed.

"Excuse me? Why not?" I can tell that he's mad, because he
seems very offended.

"Well, they are getting used to having you back in their
lives and I'm just their nanny. I think it would be confusing
to them, if they think there's more going on than just a boss
and employee relationship, don't you?" He sighs and seems to have calmed down some, but he still seems upset.

"I do understand, but I thought that this was a little more
than just, well, just sex. And I definitely don't want you
to feel that you don't mean anything to me, because that
would be far from the truth. Did you not read all of the
cards that I sent with the flowers?"
The cards. I had completely forgotten about the cards.
After reading the three that I read, I never finished reading
the rest of them. What is in the rest of the cards?

"I only read three cards." He rolls his eyes and gets
flustered.

"Three? Are you kidding me? I poured my heart out into
those cards and you only read three? So why are we here
right now? In my bed?"

I have a sudden urge to run home and read the rest of the
cards. He poured his heart into the cards? He did mention
for me to please quit running and that he was through
running too. What else did he say?

"I.... Well... I just... I did talk to Claudia about you and I
explained to her about how I was feeling, and she pretty
much told me that I was acting like a school girl about
having sex with you, because the only one I've ever made
love to was Derek. I lost my virginity on our wedding
night after four years of dating and you and I have only
known each other a few weeks."

"And what did she say? I want to know what changed.
Because when I left that morning, I felt like my heart had
ripped in two all over again, and I prayed that you would
read all of the cards after I left and that they would change
your mind after you read them, but then the kids were sick
all week and then you got sick. What changed to get us
HERE?"

He's really upset, because he jumped out of bed, which has
me get out as well and we are standing a couple of feet
from each other. I do not understand his reaction at all.
Does he just want to flaunt what we’ve done in front of the
kids and confuse them into looking at me as their new
mother? What happens if we get into a fight or something
and he decides to fire me? I can't confuse the kids like
that! I can tell that he's waiting for a response, so I guess I
better answer him before he flips out.

"First off... Claudia said that whatever my issue is with
premarital sex, I need to get over it and just enjoy myself
with you and that I'm lonely, you're lonely... Just.... Well...
Get over myself and have some fun."

"Really? I thought this meant more to you. So, this was
casual sex to you? I thought Claudia knew me better than
that. Ok, I agree with the “you're lonely, I'm lonely” bullshit, but what we did tonight is way more than just casual sex to
me, Olivia!"

"Why do you do that? I know when you're mad at me by
how you say my name, MR. KINGSTON! You're the only
person that I've EVER allowed to call me LIV! I've
always hated it until I heard the way YOU said it. I
wouldn't say what we did was just casual sex either, but I'm
sure you've had a lot of it!! You did have a lot of condoms
in your nightstand! After you helped me with the kids this
week? I was impressed, because Derek always ran away
anytime the kids or I got sick and I took care of them AND
MYSELF when we got sick, so yes, I'll admit that it made
you more attractive to me that you didn't leave the kids and took care of me when I was sick!" He tries to interrupt me,
but I won't let him.

"I'm not finished, Cash! You're pissed? Well, so am I and
you're going to listen to what I have to say dammit! The
day after I started here, you're kissing me in the limo and
yes it was nice, but you were dealing with some stuff and then in the hallway when I was leaving, that was nice too
and honestly? I wanted to jump your bones, but AS YOU
ARE AWARE OF NOW, I'm quite sexually immature
for a 32 year old woman! After your little tour today, I saw a different side to you and as much as I hate to admit it,
I had a great time with you, even though I've been fighting
how I felt and one of the cards I did read said for me to quit
running, because you're not running anymore and I kept realizing that that's what I was doing. I was running from how you made me feel and how I wanted to be around you all of the time. The other card you wrote said that you were
a DUMB ASS! And I'm sorry, but after this
conversation, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE
ACTING LIKE!

I'm screaming again. How can we go from having the best
sex of my life, to this? How did this even get started?
Oh, I did by telling him we shouldn't show any affection
in front of the kids.

"Are you done? I don't even know what to address first,
you've made me so mad! I guess I can start with the
condoms! The condoms have been in the drawer since
before Vanessa got pregnant with Eden, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I haven't had sex with anyone since she
died, because I felt that it would be a betrayal to her. But
when I met you, that changed! When I said you were the first woman that caught my eye since she died, I WASN'T LYING, OLIVIA! And if you are thinking I'm some kind
of horn dog, well think again! I only had sex with two women BEFORE I MET VANESSA! What? Did you
think because I have a lot of money and I’m decent looking
that I'm having sex with every woman that comes on to
me? Because trust me, THERE ARE A LOT, but because
I don't believe in CASUAL SEX EITHER, I DON'T!"

Wow! I am such an idiot. But wait a minute. He's using
condoms that are six years old? That can't be good at all. Holy shit. I look at him and by his body language;
he's absolutely fuming and is shaking.

"Cash... I..."

"Oh no you don't! I waited for you to finish and you're
going to wait for me to finish! If you would have read all
of the cards, then you would have read that I was falling in lov
e with you and that I wanted a relationship with you. It
might seem soon to you, but I know how I feel. Yes, I've
been grieving for years over Vanessa, but I know love when
I feel it. It was love at first sight for me with Vanessa and I
felt exactly the same way the night I met you! Maybe she had a handle in us meeting, I don't know. It's kind of coincidental that you were with one of her best friends. If I
was the sex addict that you seemed to think I was, I would have fired you when you turned me down on not spending
the weekend with me, and I certainly wouldn't have sent
you the flowers AND CARDS THAT YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO THINK WERE THAT IMPORTANT TO
READ! And I'm sorry, but I AM SO DAMN SICK OF
YOU COMPARING ME TO YOUR PRECIOUS DEAR
DEREK! If you ask me he was AN ASSHOLE AND
DIDN'T DESERVE YOU! There, I said it!"

That was when I slapped him. Hard. Right across his left
cheek. I can't tell if I've left a mark or not, because I
honestly can't see through the tears. How dare he say that about Derek. He's dead. You never speak ill of the dead.
Never!

"You went too far, Cash! How dare you speak about
Derek like that! That's not fair! How would you feel if I
said something bad about Vanessa?"

"Are you kidding? She was perfect! She didn't have a
mean bone in her body!"

"Yeah, I know she was. So why are you wasting your time
with me?" That was when I walked out.

"Where are you going? Are you seriously running away
AGAIN? I'm not wasting my time on you. Didn't you
hear what I said? What I wrote in the cards?"

"Yep! Heard you loud and clear. Am I running? You're
damn right I am! I'm going home, I'll be back tomorrow
for my SHIFT!"

I run upstairs to get dressed and get my keys and my purse. I look over at the clock and realize it's four in the morning, but I don't care. He crossed the line and went too far with that comment about Derek. I bet Claudia will change her
tune about wonderful Cash Kingston now.

"So, you realize what time it is right? You're going to drive
an hour home and be back here by 5 tomorrow? You’re not
going to be able to get any sleep, Liv. If you're that mad,
then just sleep in here and I'll sleep in my room."

"Oh, so now I'm Liv again? I'm beyond MAD, CASH!
You could have said anything to me but that! He's dead!
He was my husband! The father of my 3 babies and they're
all gone! I would still be married to him right now, if the
accident hadn't happened and I would be fine! I was
content, I didn't ask for much. Was I a hundred percent happy? No, I know our sex life lacked some things, but I
respected him, like a wife should respect her husband. He
didn't beat me or slap me around or cheat on me, like some
husbands do. How dare you say that to me?" I'm so mad
my vision is blurred from my tears and I'm shaking as well.

"You're right. You're right. I shouldn't have said that and
I'm sorry. It's not fair of me to have said that, especially
since he's not here to defend himself. Please don't leave, though. I won't be able to sleep, because I'll be so worried
about you. I don't know why I got so mad, Liv. It just hit
me wrong, when you mentioned hiding our relationship
from the kids, as if this weekend didn't mean anything to you. And you're right, we probably should keep this
between us, until we realize what this is.”
Suddenly I feel so tired and the thought of the hour long
drive doesn't sound like such a good idea anymore.

"Okay. I'll stay, but I'm sleeping in here. You can sleep in
here too, if you want. I don't care, but I'm going to sleep."