Lost (9 page)

I thought of CC using powers with me inside of her, teaching me what was normal and natural. My life wouldn’t have been so dark and complicated if she hadn’t made that mistake.

“Tell me about what happened in your art studio,” she said.

“I don’t remember it.”

“Interesting. What about the night before that?”

 
I swallowed hard, my eyes in my lap. “I went to bed thinking about Kamon, and I had a dream about him, and you, and Remi. You were in New Orleans … talking about me.”

“You didn’t dream that,” she said. “That actually happened.”

All of the air expelled out of my lungs at once. It wasn’t a dream. Kamon really thought I would kill her. And he was psychic, so it was more than a thought.

“
So…,”
I said.

“So, what?”

“July 4
^th
isn’t that far away. What are you going to do?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes.

She scooted to the edge of her seat and leaned over to mine, slow and calm, but still managed to speed my heart to deathly rates.

“Nothing.”

A tear dropped from my eye, so thick that it splashed across my arm on impact.

“What do you mean, nothing?” I said.

“I mean … I’m not going to do whatever you’re thinking that has you crying. I’ve seen what he’s seen, but I’m not worried. You are not a murderer. Your only problem is controlling your powers.”

 
“That’s exactly the problem. I lost it yesterday. I could lose it again. And if you’re gone, no one will stop Kamon. He’ll be an emperor just like he called himself in my vision. What if these attacks are just the beginning? A preview of how he’d rule? It could be the end of the world as we know it!”

She covered her mouth and laughed, leaning her head back and sighing happily after. Then the laughter took her again and didn’t release her for a long minute. The light sound relaxed me a little, eased me down from panic.

“Christine, has anyone ever told you that you’re dramatic?” I shook my head, and a smile slowly formed on my lips. “Kamon is like your classic villain from any superhero movie.” She dabbed the corners of her eyes, catching what seemed like happy tears. “He plans to take over the world every week of his life and never succeeds. He’s not getting any closer, even though he believes he is. He senses that you have an issue controlling your powers, mostly from what Remi has told him and the nosebleed you had in his chapel. He’s hoping that means you will lose control and kill me.”

“Could I? I mean, realistically, could I kill you if I tried? Wouldn’t you just stop me?”

She hunched her shoulders. “Probably.”

Probably wasn’t good enough, not when it came to taking a life. Her life.

“How is it at all possible? Aren’t you the best?”

She shook her head.

“You’re younger, so your brain is probably faster than mine, but don’t worry about any of that. It doesn’t matter. I’m sure it won’t be an issue. The attacks will stop like they always do. That’s my job. And it’s also my job to keep you away from Kamon, and I plan to do just that. I’d also like to help with the other things.
Seizures, zoning out.
I want you to start coming here every day to practice with me. Your powers need to be trained by someone experienced. At your level, it would have to be Kamon or me. I’m assuming you’d rather it be me.”

I nodded slowly, agreeing. I hadn’t expected to come here every day, but I didn’t want to say no to her, and I needed the help.

“So … you’re saying there’s no problem?” I asked. “The attacks? The prediction? Everything is fine?”

“More than fine, Christine. Do you trust me?”

I nodded, meaning it wholeheartedly, and she motioned me to follow her to a wall. She pressed 2160 into a keypad, and it opened like a sliding door to another silver hallway. She bumped me with her hip as we stepped through the wall, and I staggered to the side.

“Lesson one,” she said. “Loosen up. I don’t bite.” I smiled, entirely too big, and she joined me. “And that even goes for people who take my shoes.”

I nearly fell over. She stopped walking with me and laughed. I babbled an apology, and she tugged at my hand to make me walk again.

“They’re just shoes. You can have them. It’s hilarious that you thought I didn’t know.” Of course she knew. She actually used her powers, didn’t lock them inside like I did. “Hopefully that helps you relax. You are too young to be so serious and stressed all the time. When you’re here, be comfortable. Try to have fun.”

I wanted to bump her back, but I never worked up the nerve. She typed the same code into another keypad, and the doors opened into a large gym. I hadn’t dressed appropriately.

I’d never worked out a day in my life, but I had a feeling all of that was about to change by the array of exercise machines, weights scattered around the room, and the track painted around the edges.

“Lesson two. I will ask you questions. Say the first thing that comes to your mind,” she said. “Kamon has triplet boys. What are they?”

“Copies?”

She nodded. “And you are?”

“Also a copy,” I said. “Technically.”

“One,” the robotic voice said over the speakers.

“You sure?” Lydia asked. I hunched my shoulders. “Think about it. I just want you to answer honestly. Go with what you really feel.”

I cleared my throat as we walked further into the gym.

“I have powers naturally. So, yes, I think I am a copy.”

“Two,” the robot lady said.

“What is that?” I asked.

Lydia smiled. “Don’t mind her, she’s just counting.” She walked ahead of me and spun around, then continued walking backwards, smiling at me. “So if I told you I killed copies, hundreds of them, because they were dangerous, would you think you deserved that?”

“Um, maybe. I mean … I’m a copy, but technically, I haven’t done anything you would probably consider worthy of death … hopefully. Just because I’m a copy, doesn’t – uh – automatically make me a murderer. I mean, I’ve wanted to, but that probably had nothing to do with me being a copy. I was going through some things.” I swallowed and ended my ramble.

“Five,” the robot said.

“What is that thing counting?” I asked, getting frantic.

She chuckled and folded her arms over her chest.

“Didn’t we just discuss how powerful the brain is? Especially yours? What you say and think has more impact than you realize. If you call yourself a copy enough, you could convince your brain to make you behave like one. My friend, the robot, will count every time you say it, and you will run a mile for every time she catches you.”

I gasped. “You said to relax and have fun!”

“I did. And I hope you will have a wonderful time here today, but you have a few bad habits I’m dying to break. This is one.”

“But … but … I’m in a dress. And you asked me to answer you honestly, and I did. I
am
a copy, but I’m not freaking out about it like I used to.”

“Six,” it counted.

Lydia laughed. “It looks like you have six miles to run. Get started.”

I walked to the track slowly with my mouth hanging open.

“But…”

She raised her eyebrows, begging for my excuse. I decided not to finish that sentence. I pulled off my sandals slowly, frowning, hoping she would change her mind.

She didn’t.

The robot counted my miles as they passed. At mile three, I thought about what would be said at my funeral, since I was obviously about to die. Instead of complaining, I closed my eyes and pushed myself, forgetting everything but pounding my feet against the track.

“Mile six,” the robot said, and I collapsed. While nearly coughing up my lungs, I pledged to never call myself a copy again.

Lydia kneeled in her nice dress and heels. She gave me a towel and a bottle of water. “Lesson learned?” she asked. I nodded, coughing and chugging the water. “Good. Maybe tomorrow we’ll program the robot to detect every time you worry about Kamon. Wouldn’t that be fun?” I shook my head, and she smiled. “Didn’t think so. There’s a shower through that door. I’ll be waiting out here.”

I limped to the door. It opened into a nice sitting room with a television, two sofas, and a little kitchen. Sophia was sitting on the longest sofa with a change of clothes on her lap. She held them out to me and pointed to a hallway. I rolled my eyes and snatched the clothes.

She laughed.

“Not funny,” I panted. “You could’ve warned me about the robot.”

I found the bathroom and started the shower. “I could have warned you, but you wouldn’t have learned anything. She wanted to put one in your house. I stopped her, you should thank me.”

“Thank you,” I said, shedding my sweaty clothes without waiting for her to turn away. Naked did not mean
leave
to Sophia.

After my shower, I stood in front of the mirror over the sink. I smiled at myself but wondered if my mother would be upset about me being here, training in the world she ran away from.

“I’m just getting help to deal with the powers you left me,” I whispered.

I didn’t know why I always expected her to answer back, like she was always around, watching me, alive and near.

Sophia walked me out to Lydia who was now sitting in front of a chessboard. I sat across from her, fighting a smile. She was so pretty, in a really difficult to stare at kind of way.

“What’s your favorite power?” she asked. I hunched my shoulders. “You have to have one. Mine is hearing thoughts. What people really think amuses me. What about you?”

I shrugged again. I didn’t have many happy memories with my powers. I’d always hidden them, and when I didn’t have to hide them anymore, I started to worry about nosebleeds and seizures.

“Fire has to be fun to create, right?” she said.

“It’s mostly scary,” I said.

She chuckled, made a fist, and reached it across the table. She opened her hand near my nose and a fiery bird flew out of it. It flapped around the gym, a living ball of fire and work of art.

“It’s all in how you look at it. The key is not to suppress your powers, Christine. That’s why the last few days have been so eventful. When you open the door for them, intentionally or not, they will rush out, fierce and wild, because of the pressure you’ve put on them. You need to find balance and control.”

The
fire-bird
flew back to the table and hovered over the chessboard. I reached my hand out to touch it, but Sophia grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“It’s real fire, love,” she said.

“Can I try one?” I asked.

“After we practice,” Lydia said. “I’m not in the mood to have my eyebrows singed off.” Sophia snapped and extinguished the bird. Smoke in the form of its shape lingered a few seconds after.

She scooted closer to the board and sat up in her chair. I mirrored her posture, not wanting to be a slouch across from a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

“Today, we’re going to play chess my way. You will guess my move before I do it, and
nothing else
. Don’t use any other power, and let go as soon as you see. Our friend will know if you don’t.” She pointed to the ceiling, and I rolled my eyes at my new enemy, the robot. “
Breathe
, relax, and simply tell me what I will do in thirty seconds without getting lost in your thoughts or the thrill of using your powers.”

How could I relax with Lydia Shaw across from me, ordering me to peer into her future and control the urge to do anything else?

“Times up,” the robot said.

I grunted.

“Let’s try that again,” Lydia said. “Turn the powers on and off. Make them obey you. It’s the key to a normal life.”

“I’m sitting across from
you
. This is nothing close to normal,” I said.

They laughed, and I joined them for a moment before Lydia nodded to me, wordlessly telling me to focus.

It was as easy as it had always been when I relaxed. I saw Lydia in my head, moving the piece I vaguely knew to call a pawn. Curiosity tugged at me, the lure of what lied inside the famous woman’s head. But I didn’t want the robot to catch me and have to run again. Which was probably why she’d made me do that in the first place – more incentive to control myself.

I shook out of the vision and touched the piece she was going to move.

“Good,” she said. “You will move this one, because you don’t know what you’re doing. You would have chosen it because it was closest to your hand. Your turn.”

During our game of psychic chess, she taught me the proper way to breathe to ward off nosebleeds, and she stopped me every time I moved too quickly or pushed my powers too far. With her help, I started to feel the slight change in my muscles as the first tremors swept through me. Those were the warning signs, and listening to them would stop me from hurting myself, or Nate, or anyone who touched me when my powers were out of control.

“Am I the only person who’s faster than you?” I asked.

She shook her head and said, “I’m getting old.” I chuckled. She looked too young to complain about her age. “I’m sure there are tons of people stronger and faster, better.” Something about her tone made that seem like a lie, or like she wasn’t telling me everything. She cleared her throat and continued in her normal voice. “And there are things out of my range. I don’t see Kamon clearly or some magical beings, like your boyfriend. I have to use technology and Sophia to keep the upper hand.”