Losing You (Stars On Fire Book 4) (36 page)

“Okay,” was all he said and left her office. The next day he’d set up a meeting and started handing out assignments.

Big clients.

Huge.

All over the damn planet.

“You sure you’re ready?” Parker had asked.

Lizzie looked up at him with big eyes, more excited than she’d been in months. “Oh yes!”

After that meeting, she was rarely home. Maybe a day or two here or there, but those days were filled with doctor appointments or errands of all the things she hadn’t done while gone.

The baby was growing quite nicely, and Lizzie, with each passing day, became more excited about having it. Tom’s child. A boy. She knew it. And it would look just like him. A mini-Tom.

At least that’s how she pictured it in her mind. Light blond hair, bright blue eyes, and an even brighter smile.

Her baby kept the tears at bay, but they came every now and again. Lizzie had more smiles than tears and she was thankful for that because there was a time she’d thought they’d never stop.

After her four-month doctor appointment which she was two weeks late for due to her travels, Lizzie called Parker to tell him she’d be taking the rest of the day off. Then she headed west to Geneva to see Tom’s mom.

Lizzie needed to let her know that she was going to be a grandma!

“This is an unexpected surprise. Come in,” Mrs. Myers said excitedly. She drew Lizzie into the living room where Lizzie shed her coat and sat down, rubbing her hands on her thighs. “What brings you all the way out here?”

“I . . . uh, had some news to share with you,” Lizzie said, pulling the extra ultrasound picture she’d asked her doctor for. She handed the black and white photo to Tom’s mom. “Here.”

“What’s this?” she asked, taking the picture. The moment she realized what was in her hand, tears spilled from her eyes. “You’re pregnant?”

“I am,” Lizzie answered, matching tears streaming down her face.

“With Tom’s baby?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a stuttered breath. “I’m eighteen weeks . . .”

Lizzie watched the grandmother of her unborn child as she figured out the date.

“Eighteen? That was in—”

“November. The night before he died. I’m sorry I’m just telling you. I wasn’t ready . . .”

“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m not going to tell you how to grieve or how to move on. You have to do what’s best for you . . . and my grandbaby,” the older woman said, her face splitting into a wide grin. The hug she got surprised Lizzie, but she held on. It felt good that she could give Mrs. Myers this moment of happiness.

“I still can’t believe this, Elizabeth. I want you to know that I’ll be there for you . . . anything . . . everything you need. You understand?”

Lizzie nodded, thankful to have this wonderful woman in her life.

Lizzie

April 5, 2010

Lizzie was so over traveling. When she voiced her discontent to Parker, he laughed and told her to meet him at the San Fran office before she headed back to Chicago. He had a new challenge for her. So, she’d changed her flight to give her time to meet with him and she was so glad she did because what she got was his latest challenge—a promotion to Account Director!

Hell yes!

Her travel would be basically zero. She was all for that. She loved Parker and his challenges!

Now she just had to make it home, Lizzie thought, as she tried to get comfortable in the seat that just seemed to get smaller each time she got on the plane. It totally wasn’t because her stomach was growing at such a fast rate.

Definitely not, she laughed.

Twenty-two weeks. Over half way done. In four months, Lizzie could hold her little baby boy in her arms. And now that she was done traveling, Lizzie could get started on all the things one did when a baby was on the way. She’d done none of it except for the doctor part. Well, she
had
picked out the bedroom which would become the nursery. A step.

She’d be taking many steps in the next week. Mrs. Myers had called her the week before to let her know that she’d finally put Tom’s house up for sale and wanted Lizzie to stop by that weekend to pick out the things she wanted.

Lizzie wanted everything. Deciding what to keep would be hard. How could she throw out anything of his?

Another thing that would be hard . . . seeing her friends. She hadn’t seen them because of work . . . but really that was code for being chicken. She hadn’t told anyone but Mrs. Myers and Parker about the baby. They’d probably hate her for not confiding in them. Maybe she should have but getting the words “I’m pregnant” out of her mouth was difficult. And each time she spoke to Gwen or Ollie, or especially Marc, and didn’t say anything, the guilt added up. Nothing she could do about that now except apologize and hope they’d understand.

Finally in the limo, she settled in for the ride home, when her cell phone rang. She debated not answering it, but did anyway.

“This is Lizzie.”

“Hi, Elizabeth,” the masculine voice spoke into her ear.

“Marc?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“How are you?” she asked, wondering if he somehow knew she’d just had him on her mind.

“I’m doing all right. How about you? Anything
new
?” he asked, her ears perking up at the inflection. She didn’t know what that meant but was pretty sure she’d find out.

“I’m good, but tired. I just got back from San Francisco.”

“You’re a workhorse,” he stated and she could picture the smile she heard in his voice on his face.

“I’m Irish. What do you expect?”

His laughter was good to hear. And if Lizzie was being honest with herself, she missed it. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“I wonder sometimes too. But life’s changing,” she began.

“How so?”

“I got a promotion!” she exclaimed, her excitement bubbling into her tone.

“Does that mean more travel?”

“Ha! No. The opposite,” she said, probably happier about this fact of her new job than the title and new salary combined. She was ready to nest.

“Nice,” he said, “Speaking of life changing, I got a call from Mrs. Myers today.”

“Oh, yeah? What did she want?”

“Told me that Tom’s place is on the market and asked if I could help her with moving some of Tom’s things.”

Even though she knew about Mrs. Myers’ plans, her mood saddened. It was becoming more and more official. That part of her life with Tom was over.

“Lizzie?” Marc inquired, when she didn’t speak.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. That’s one reason why I called—to make sure you were all right. This is a big step . . . like a whole flight of them.”

Wasn’t that ever the truth?

“The whole thing sucks, but I’m dealing with it as best I can,” she admitted.

“How’s that working for you?”

A chuckle escaped at his quick question—so like Marc. “Pretty well.”

“I’m glad,” he said. She heard the smile in his voice. She missed talking to him. He was always so easy to speak to. “Though surprised after finding out that you’re pregnant.”

Oh, shit!

“Wow!” she said. “That came out of left field.”

“Yeah, that’s how I felt when I found out. Lizzie, it’s been over four months . . .”

She cringed. Totally handled this all wrong. But at least the bird was out of the cage . . . and her guilt at keeping it in there could finally go away. “I know. I know. I needed the time, Marc. That’s the only explanation I have for you and everyone else.”

“Hey, I need no explanation about that. You had your reasons. But what I do need is a chance to see you. What do you say?”

This conversation had shown her just how much she’d missed her friends . . . for four months. Life changing news. She needed to do better.

Starting now.

“I’d like that.”

“How ‘bout dinner sometime?” he asked hopefully.

The baby decided at that moment to remind her that she hadn’t eaten a full meal since dinner the night before. She was starving! “Sometime meaning tonight? Because I’m light-headed with hunger . . .”

He chuckled. “If you want, I could pick up . . .”

“A large BBQ chicken pizza and an order of breadsticks?”

“ . . . a large BBQ chicken pizza and some breadsticks and meet you tonight at your place for dinner.”

“That sounds divine.”

She heard his deep chuckle over the line and smiled. “Okay then. I’ll see you shortly. Bye Elizabeth.”

“Bye.”

Marc

Marc felt a wave of nervousness overtake his body as he sat in his car, looking at her house. The cause he didn’t know. This was just a casual dinner with an . . . ex-lover. He hadn’t been alone with her like this since before he left—two years ago. All the other times there’d been people around. Tonight . . . just her and him. And what she could pull out of him scared him.

But whatever she wanted he was determined to give her.

Space? He’d give it to her. Pizza? He’d be all over that. An almost kiss that he’d torture himself with for months? Sign him up.

He’d do
anything
for her.

With a nod, Marc grabbed the food and made his way to her front door. Maybe it was the noticeable lack of her in his life but lately he felt an overpowering need to have her back in it—in whatever way she’d have him. He meant that. Lover or friend, he’d take it. But first he must take the step to apologize to her and explain why he’d left. He just needed to find the right opportunity.

He almost walked in without knocking. It was second nature to him. For almost two years, he spent many of his evenings here with her. He’d even had a key . . .
still had it
, he thought, looking down at the keys in his hand.

After taking a deep, cleansing breath, Marc rapped his knuckles against the door’s window. He inhaled sharply upon hearing Lizzie making her way from upstairs. She opened the door with a smile, but hid behind the door for the longest time. Her face had a glow to it, despite the tired eyes it held.

“Hi,” she said, a bit of shyness inflecting her tone.

“Hi,” he responded.

“We can eat in the kitchen if you’d like or . . .” she rambled, still standing behind the door.

“Sounds good,” he said and made his way through the house to the kitchen, placing the pizza on the small breakfast nook table.

“Would you like something to drink? I think I have water and probably some sort of juice. I know it’s not glamorous . . .” Lizzie called out as she entered the room, walking on the other side of the island so he couldn’t see her.

“Lizzie, water’s fine,” he said, turning to look at her, but she hid herself with the fridge door.

He stood, waiting for her to come to the table. She kept her back to him. Her pink dress stopped a little above the knee, her feet bare. From this angle, she didn’t look pregnant. She actually looked quite sexy. He remembered the first time he’d been in this kitchen—the way she’d taken care of him. The way she’d responded to him. The way her face had looked as he’d lifted her onto the counter, the intensity of their lovemaking . . .

Her return to the table broke the memory, replaced by the creation of this new one—the first time he saw her pregnant body. The roundness of her belly, the fullness of her breasts. He felt so jealous of Tom and he wasn’t even there. He’d created that life inside her body. That was Tom’s child growing inside of Lizzie—not his. And he only had himself to blame for that.