Losing You (58 page)

‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ she said, shaking his hand as he stood up to greet her. He was as tall and well built as she’d expected, and his looks were so clearly the forerunner of Oliver’s that it was hard not to comment. What she noticed most about him, however, were the deeply etched lines of tiredness around his eyes. ‘I got caught up on the phone before leaving the house,’ she explained unnecessarily.

‘It’s not a problem,’ he assured her. ‘I’m glad you could make it.’

To her surprise she felt herself colouring slightly as she sat into the bench seat opposite his. ‘I see you already have a coffee,’ she said, glad he hadn’t waited for her to arrive.

‘Let me get you one. What would you like?’

‘A cappuccino, thank you,’ she told the waiter who was hovering.

Left alone they glanced at one another awkwardly, then both started to speak at once. He insisted she went first.

‘I was just going to say that Oliver texted about half an hour ago to let me know he’d arrived at the hospital and that Lauren had almost knocked him out with her smile.’ She laughed at the joke. ‘He’s very considerate,’ she added.

Russ’s ironic look seemed to say, that’s certainly what he would like you to think.

Emma smiled too. ‘They’re always better with other people, aren’t they?’ she said.

He nodded. ‘But Lauren’s not just any other person to him, as I’m sure you are very much aware by now.’

‘I have to say he’s impressed us all with how dedicated he is, and patient and good-humoured. Half the time I don’t know what he says to make Lauren laugh, but whatever it is, it never seems to fail.’ Thinking of Lauren’s frantic gulps of mirth tore her heart between happiness and grief, for they weren’t anything like the infectious, mellifluous sounds she’d made before. Would that change? She hoped so, but even if it didn’t, it would never alter how much she loved and admired her daughter for her courage and spirit. ‘Even the specialists are crediting him with how well her recovery is going,’ she went on.

Russ’s eyebrows rose. ‘I’m afraid he’s immodest enough to tell me so when he comes home,’ he informed her. ‘And
then, lucky me, I get to hear it all over again when he calls his brother to make sure he’s up to speed too.’

Emma’s eyes danced. ‘He has good reason to feel proud of himself,’ she declared, liking the sound of how close Oliver was to his father and brother. Did it in any way make up for the loss of his mother? That was what they said about alcoholics, that it was as though their families were the victims of another kind of death or loss when they drowned themselves in their addiction. Her eyes went down. ‘We shall miss him a great deal,’ she said, ‘once the trial ... I mean when ... if ... he stops coming.’

Russ waited as her coffee was delivered, and when they were alone again he said, ‘Actually, that’s what I want to talk to you about.’

Emma forced a smile as she looked up. ‘It’s not only what kind of punishment he might get, is it?’ she said. ‘And whatever it is, it’s going to affect his visits to Lauren. It’s that he’s devoting all his time to her, when I’m sure you’re anxious for him to find a job and get on with his life. Except he can’t with this trial hanging over him.’

‘It’s true, I am keen for him to sort himself out, but we’ve discussed his need to be there for Lauren and I guess I understand why he doesn’t feel right about carrying on with his life when she’s still struggling to rebuild hers. So I’ve agreed that I won’t push him to do anything about his future until Lauren is able to start considering hers.’

Emma felt quietly stunned. Surely he must realise it could be months, even years before Lauren was in a position to start studying again, or even be able to take care of herself. However, Oliver’s devotion and his father’s support wouldn’t mean anything if the judge handed out a custodial sentence. Even a driving ban would make it extremely difficult for Oliver to continue visiting as often as he had over these last few weeks, so whichever way they looked at it, things weren’t going to continue the way they were.

She ached to think of how much Lauren was going to miss him.

‘Returning to the subject of Oliver’s trial,’ Russ went on, glancing down at his coffee. ‘When I rang you to make this arrangement my intention was simply to tell you what we
were hoping to achieve from a meeting we’d recently had with the senior prosecutor. I thought it only fair, because of how deeply it was likely to affect you. Now that we’ve achieved our aim ...’ His dark eyes came earnestly to hers. ‘Are you aware ...? Have the police spoken to you yet about the prosecution?’

Emma shook her head. A small panic was starting inside her. What was going wrong? What more should she be bracing herself for? ‘I had a message earlier from our family liaison officer,’ she told him. ‘He wants to come and see me. I’m guessing, from what you’re saying, that it’s about ... whatever you’re about to tell me.’

Russ nodded, and she couldn’t tell whether he was sorry or relieved to be breaking the news himself. She was surprised, and then unsettled, by how uneasy he suddenly seemed. ‘Our lawyer heard last night,’ he said, ‘that the charges against Oliver are being dropped.’

Emma’s heart gave an unsteady beat. She was trying to make sense of his words, but it was hard, because charges like that didn’t, couldn’t, just go away. It simply wasn’t possible.

‘I expect you’ve heard about the missing blood sample,’ Russ continued.

She nodded. ‘But I thought they’d found it.’

‘So did they. I’m afraid it was a total screw-up from start to finish. Heaven only knows what’s happened to the blood Oliver gave, but no one’s able to put their hands on it now. Obviously, without it a prosecution for drink-driving is seriously compromised.’

But there was the dangerous-driving charge. The offence that had actually put Lauren where she was
. She didn’t speak the words, but he must have read her mind because he said, ‘I’m not sure if you’re aware of the speed Oliver was driving at when the accident happened, but he turned out to be only marginally over the limit, which doesn’t in itself nullify a prosecution, especially given the extent of Lauren’s injuries. However, put together with the lost blood sample and the special reasons our lawyer was planning to present as a defence ... Special reasons effectively means ...’

‘Actually, I know what it means,’ she interrupted. She’d
come across it only once, a few years ago, when someone who’d worked for her had escaped a drink-drive prosecution because he’d been rushing his sick child to hospital at the time he’d been stopped. In Oliver’s case, they’d clearly been planning to use his mother’s threat to commit suicide. She didn’t blame them, she was sure she’d have done the same in their shoes, but there had to be some sort of justice for Lauren. The police couldn’t just turn away from this as though it had never happened.

‘Is that why he’s been going to see Lauren?’ she asked brusquely. ‘To make it look good in case he did end up in court?’

Russ shook his head. ‘He goes because he genuinely cares.’

Certain that was true, she looked down at her hands, sorry now for the harshness of her accusation.
No grudges, no recriminations
.

‘I realise how difficult this must be for you,’ Russ said gently. ‘I’m sorry, that sounds patronising. What I’m trying to say is, I truly don’t think there’s anything to be gained, for anyone, from this prosecution going ahead. If Oliver is being as supportive to Lauren as ...’

‘He is, and I understand why you, or your lawyer, would do this. You have to as a parent, and he has to because it’s his job. I just don’t ...’ She shook her head. What was she trying to say? Her mind was all over the place; she couldn’t make this seem right, but at the same time was it really so wrong?

‘The decision was taken at the highest level,’ Russ explained, ‘so I don’t think the police, or CPS, were in any way dismissive of Lauren’s rights. In fact, I got the impression when our lawyer rang with the news that one of the reasons they decided to drop the charges was actually to protect Lauren.’

Emma frowned as she looked at him.

‘I don’t know the detail,’ he continued, ‘and I’m not asking for it. All I can tell you is that when my lawyer reminded the senior prosecutor, here in Bristol, of where Lauren had been prior to the accident, that seemed to put a different complexion on matters. It was felt, it seemed, that you wouldn’t want that information to become public.’

Emma could feel the fire in her cheeks as she lowered her eyes.

‘I only mention it to try and help you realise that your interests were given careful consideration before a decision was arrived at.’

‘And you personally weren’t told anything about where she’d been?’

He shook his head. ‘All I know is that it apparently has no legal bearing on the case, but it was deemed important enough to be given some weight when they were deliberating whether or not to press on with the charges.’

Emma sat back in her chair, feeling shaken and disoriented. She was no longer sure what she’d expected before coming here – possibly to be thanked for her treatment of Oliver, or maybe to be asked to persuade Oliver to give up his mission and get on with his life. It certainly wasn’t to find out that there was to be no prosecution for the offence against Lauren – and learning that her liaison with Philip Leesom had played a part in robbing her of that right was making Emma feel sick and murderous towards him all over again.

However, that wasn’t how the Crown Prosecution Service was seeing it. They were dropping the case in order to protect Lauren from the scandal of her own behaviour. Of course, that wasn’t the only reason. If the blood sample hadn’t been mislaid and the special reasons weren’t so compelling, they’d never have considered Lauren’s sensibilities for a moment. So what was she supposed to make of this? Should she be feeling angry, outraged, relieved, betrayed? She felt all of those things and more, she just couldn’t be sure what the more was – apart from increasingly concerned about how Will was going to take it when he found out.

Given the way he’d turned his back on Lauren over the last two months, Emma was finding it hard to accept that he even needed to be told. He had no right to play Lauren’s defender now, and even if he did, what possible good could he do with his empty threats and puerile temper? She could easily imagine him screaming from the moral high ground that he was going to sue the Lomax family out of existence,
or the police, or the Crown Prosecution Service, and no doubt he’d throw Philip Leesom in for good measure. He’d make a total fool of himself, as he always did in these situations, and at the end of it nothing would have changed and he probably wouldn’t even have been to see Lauren.

So no, she wasn’t going to tell him anything of her own volition. If he rang and asked she’d give him the answer, but until then he could leave his head stuffed in the sand and with any luck he might not bother bringing it out again.

For Lauren’s sake, she wasn’t sure she actually meant that, but she knew that Will’s presence in the rehab centre would only be disruptive, since he’d be unable to resist telling everyone what to do, or accusing them of being inept in some way. And if he became frustrated with Lauren’s inability to speak, or feed herself with any degree of accuracy, he might end up setting her recovery back by days, even longer, for all Emma knew. She couldn’t allow him to upset her like that.

If Lauren were showing signs of missing him, or even wondering about him, Emma knew without a shadow of doubt she’d be trying to persuade him to come, but so far all mentions of Daddy had been met by little more than a blank stare. It had made Emma start to wonder how much Lauren knew. How much of what had been happening around her had she taken in while no one was even certain she could hear? She remembered the rest of her family with no trouble, and Melissa and Polly, and she definitely seemed to respond more to certain books and music than others, though it wasn’t easy to be sure whether they were her favourites from before, or whether she was hearing them for the first time and liking them. She couldn’t tell them, and she was so sensitive to other people’s feelings that she’d very likely pretend to be pleased just to make them happy.

There was so much going round and round in Emma’s mind that she could hardly believe the time when she glanced at the clock – or that she’d actually been sitting here spilling everything out to Russ Lomax. They’d been in this cafe for almost an hour now and he’d simply allowed her to go on talking and ranting as if listening to her,
offering no judgement or advice, was something he did every day. She could see the kindness and compassion in his eyes. It was obviously where Oliver had got it from. They were good people, the Lomaxes, who’d come out of nowhere to devastate her and Lauren’s lives, and now they were doing everything they could to help put them back together.

Embarrassed and still a little emotional, she said, ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean ... I’m not sure why you had to suffer all that ... You must be in a hurry to leave ...’

‘Even if I were, which I’m not, I’d have to insist on buying you another coffee first,’ he said drolly.

Looking down at her own, Emma was shocked to see that she’d stirred at least five unopened packets of sugar into the cup – and she didn’t even take sugar.

‘Stressed or what?’ she said, with an anxious tilt of a smile.

He laughed and turned to signal the waiter.

‘No, please, I’d like to get the next ones,’ she said, putting a hand over his cup.

‘Tell you what, let’s argue about it later,’ he suggested. ‘The same again,’ he told the waiter, and as he sat back in his seat Emma realised her phone was vibrating. Relieved to see it was only Polly, not the hospital, she let the call go through to messages.

‘I was wondering,’ she said, ‘how Oliver’s mother is getting along. He told me she was in a clinic in Cape Town?’

Russ nodded and a light inside him seemed to fade. ‘She was indeed, until about a week ago, which was when, I’m afraid, she absconded with a fellow inmate – I guess that’s not what they’re called, is it?’

Emma shook her head. ‘Probably not, but I don’t know the correct term, so let’s go with that one. Does it mean you don’t know where she is now?’