Losing You (37 page)

Connie was with her again now, and had promised to call Paul Granger if she needed any backup.

‘Tell me, have you spoken to your mother yet about how she can help?’ Jolyon was asking Oliver.

Coming in, Russ said, ‘I decided that we should run it past you before we approached her, to make sure we’re off on the right foot and that her input will make a difference.’

Jolyon nodded understanding, and asked bluntly, ‘Considering the way she is, do you think you can persuade her to speak in your defence?’ He was looking at Oliver again, but this time it was Charlie who answered.

‘She doesn’t have a choice,’ he stated baldly. ‘But actually, yes, when she realises how important it is to Oliver, I think we can rely on her to step up to the plate because he’s always been her favourite.’

Dismayed by this ludicrous favouritism thing, Russ simply let it go unchallenged; now wasn’t the time to get into it.

Not appearing as confident as his brother, Oliver said, ‘The trouble is, what Mum says one day she’s either forgotten the next, or has changed her mind about completely, or she comes up with something totally irrelevant because she’s got something else going on in her head.’

Jolyon looked at Russ. ‘Given her condition,’ he said, ‘we could be wiser to ask for a sworn affidavit rather than have her appear in court.’

Russ nodded. ‘I was thinking the same thing. Presumably it would carry more weight if she was undergoing rehab when she makes her statement, which would explain why it’s not possible for her to appear in person?’

‘It would certainly help,’ Jolyon agreed. To Oliver he said, ‘You understand that this is only the drink-drive aspect of the case, but as you haven’t actually been charged with dangerous driving or anything related yet we’ll stay with the drink-drive for the moment, because a couple of things have come to light since late last week and one of them is relevant to this charge. I’m told that the labs have, I quote, temporarily mislaid the samples of blood you provided.’

Oliver’s heart jumped.

‘You’re not serious,’ Charlie cried, astonished. He turned to his father. ‘This is like totally major.’

‘An excellent legal term,’ Jolyon commented wryly.

Oliver was trying to keep up. ‘Does that mean ...? What
does
it mean?’ he asked.

‘Well, first of all,’ Jolyon replied, ‘some fortuitous ineptitude is clearly at work, but more importantly, if it doesn’t turn up there might not be a drink-drive charge to answer to at all.’

Oliver could only stare at him. It couldn’t be this easy, it just couldn’t, and even if it was, it wouldn’t be fair. Lauren Scott was still where she was; how was everything going to be all right for her?

‘Good old police,’ Charlie was laughing, ‘can always rely on them to cock it up.’

Jolyon raised a sardonic eyebrow. ‘The problem is,’ he said, ‘if they do find themselves unable to press charges for the drink-driving offence, then they’re likely to come
down even harder on the dangerous driving, particularly given the girl’s condition. Which brings me to the other piece of information that arrived in my email this morning: apparently Lauren Scott suffered some sort of relapse at the end of last week, and there is talk now of not intervening to save her if it happens again.’

Oliver’s heart caught with horror. ‘No,’ he protested, ‘they can’t do that. She’s going to make it, she has to ...’

Jolyon’s hand went up. ‘I understand what this means to you, son,’ he said, ‘but I’m afraid it’s all down to her parents. I don’t know if they’ve made up their minds about anything yet, obviously it’s an enormous decision to come to ...’

‘And what happens if she has another relapse in the interim?’ Russ wanted to know.

‘I presume the medics will act to save her life until they’re instructed not to.’

Oliver’s eyes were wild. His face had turned deathly white. ‘They have to,’ he growled urgently.

‘Does this mean,’ Charlie began hesitantly, ‘are we actually saying here that she’s already brain-dead?’

‘No,’ Oliver cried, refusing to believe it. ‘She can’t be, it’s just not possible.’

Regarding him closely, Jolyon said, ‘I’m not in touch with her doctors, only an administrator at the hospital, so I’m not sure what the official line is, but I think we can probably assume that her condition is extremely grave or they wouldn’t be talking to the parents about the possibility of non-resuscitation.’

‘In which case,’ Russ said, before Oliver could object again, ‘we’ll be looking at a charge of causing death by dangerous driving, which won’t only incur a ban regardless of the drink-drive charge, but a custodial sentence?’

‘That is certainly the worst-case scenario,’ Jolyon agreed, ‘but happily we’re not there yet. I’m still waiting on more information from the police investigation and frankly, with the way things are going, anything could happen between now and when this case finally comes to court.’

‘Whatever happens,’ Oliver broke in hotly, ‘I’m not going to say I wasn’t drunk, because I was.’

‘Oliver,’ Russ said quietly.

‘No one’s asking you to lie,’ Jolyon assured him.

‘But you’re going to try and get me off on some kind of technicality, when we all know that I’m responsible for what happened. Do you reckon that’s fair? What’s it going to do to help her?’

Flicking a quick glance at Russ, Jolyon said, ‘But it’s not in our power to help her, Oliver. You must understand that. You’re our concern. We have to do what we can to help you.’

Oliver’s face was stricken, his eyes burning bright with emotion as he accepted the words and looked away.

After a moment’s awkward silence, Charlie said, ‘OK, so next move. Do we go ahead and talk to Mum?’

‘Why not?’ Jolyon replied, tearing his gaze from Oliver. ‘If you’re able to get her onside it can only help.’

‘And an affidavit will do it? Won’t it have to be notarised?’

‘It will, and I can do that for you. I’ll need to be there when she makes her statement, unless she’s prepared to come here to the office and swear under oath that whatever you concoct between you is true and wasn’t given under duress.’

As Russ got to his feet he was tempted to declare,
she’ll do it if I have to put her in a mangle and wring it out of her
, but deciding the humour was likely to misfire, he kept it to himself and waited until his sons had left the room before saying to Jolyon, ‘Oliver’s becoming fixated on the girl. He’s online morning, noon and night watching videos of her, reading everything he can find about her. Do you think I need to be worried?’

Jolyon gave it some thought and still appeared uncertain when he answered. ‘It often goes one of two ways in these situations,’ he said, ‘total denial, in that the driver won’t allow him or herself to know or feel anything about the victim at all; or a terrible racking of conscience that makes it virtually impossible to stop thinking or worrying about them. And now we have Facebook, and YouTube, all kinds of new media providing a false sort of connection that I can see might easily turn into an obsession. Whether that’s
happening here ...’ He sighed as he shook his head in dismay. ‘The girl is very close to Oliver’s age, and I’d say that being the kind of young man he is, he’s probably feeling the responsibility as acutely as it’s possible to feel it. Which, though tough on him, should serve him well when it comes to court, because showing no remorse would definitely work against him.’

Russ’s irony was weighted by despair. ‘Oh, he’s full of that,’ he assured Jolyon. ‘To the point that what’s starting to worry me now is what the heck’s going to happen to him if she doesn’t pull through.’

‘How was Lauren today?’ Polly asked, as Emma searched for a corkscrew. They were in Emma’s kitchen which, thanks to her mother, was as clean as a new pin.

‘Still managing without the ventilator,’ Emma replied, looking haunted and wrecked by tiredness. ‘They took her off yesterday; you know that, don’t you?’

Polly smiled sadly as she nodded.

‘It’s good that she’s breathing on her own,’ Emma continued, ‘but she still hasn’t come round.’ The dark night beyond the window started to fill with the sound of a plane going over, but neither of them attempted to guess where it might have come from, or who could be on board; it had no meaning now.

After it had passed and quiet was resumed, Emma said, ‘I felt tempted to tell her why her father hasn’t been to see her since last Thursday, but if she can hear me ...’ She bowed her head. ‘Hurting him through her would be an awful thing to do. Do you know, when I texted to tell him she was breathing on her own he sent a message back saying it would only be good news if she’d woken up.’

Flinching at such brutality, Polly said, ‘Does he have any intention of coming to see her?’

‘Personally, I’d like it to be never after the things he said,’ Emma replied, a wave of resentment washing through her at the mere thought of Will showing his face again.

Knowing how viciously he’d lashed out at Emma during their talk with the surgeon, and how divided they were over keeping Lauren alive, Polly said, ‘My guess is he’s
too embarrassed to face either you or Farraday again after behaving the way he did.’

Reaching for glasses, Emma said, ‘I got the impression Mr Farraday’s seen a lot worse. I suppose when you’re dealing with matters of life and death the way he is every day, his news doesn’t always bring out the best in people.’ She smiled wanly. ‘That was more or less what he said after Will had gone, that people often behave out of character, or irrationally, at times of grief and stress. I’m not sure it is out of character for Will these days, but I didn’t say so. What mattered more was how kind he was when he told me not to be rushed into a decision and reminded me that it will only be an issue if she experiences another surge, or some other complication.’

‘Does he think it’s likely that she will?’

Emma sighed shakily. ‘I don’t think he knows, but he says there’s no conscious aspect ...’ Her voice trailed off as fear and exhaustion tried to overwhelm her again. ‘He’s happy to talk to me any time I feel the need, but I want to leave it for a while, because I’m sure the upshot of any further conversation now will only be a repeat of what he told me on Thursday, and I really don’t need to hear it again.’

Understanding that, Polly took the glass Emma was offering and looked carefully into her eyes as she said, ‘Here’s to you and how brave you’re being.’

Emma tried to smile. ‘To Lauren,’ she whispered, but before taking a sip she put her glass down again. ‘I’m sorry, but to think that this, alcohol, is what’s responsible for putting her where she is ... I wonder if I’m ever going to be able to drink again. Am I repeating myself? How many times have I already said that?’

‘You’re completely shattered,’ Polly told her. ‘You should be getting some sleep, not standing here talking to me.’

‘But I need to talk to someone ...’ She broke off as her mobile bleeped with a text, and going to fish it out of her coat pocket she opened up a message from Will.
How was she today? Are you still with her?

Suppressing the urge to ignore him, or send back something he wouldn’t want to read, she quickly tapped in
The same
and clicked off. ‘I see no reason to expand,’ she told Polly after showing her the texts. ‘If he wants to know how she is, he should be here.’

‘Of course he should. He’s doing this to punish you for not seeing things his way. He’s not thinking about Lauren at all.’

‘According to him, he’s thinking about nothing else, while all I’m thinking about is myself. I had an email from him yesterday explaining why he’s decided to stay away – have I already told you this?’

Polly shook her head.

‘He’s saying that he’s not prepared to go on pretending Lauren can hear us, or kidding himself that she’s coming back, when as far as he’s concerned Nigel Farraday made it perfectly clear that she isn’t. I think his actual words were:
What you’re doing, Emma, is beyond cruel and selfish, and if you can’t see that then I’m almost as sorry for you as I am for Lauren
.’

Polly’s eyes were full of pity. ‘This is so hard for you,’ she murmured sympathetically.

Unable to deny it, Emma simply shrugged and went ahead into the sitting room, where she slumped down on the sofa and let her head fall back.

‘Where’s your mother?’ Polly asked, going to the armchair.

‘At the hospital. She’ll be with Lauren till the end of visiting hours, then she’ll come back here. I only left because I was afraid I’d fall asleep at the wheel if I stayed any longer, but if I don’t talk to someone I’ll be awake again in the early hours, driving myself crazy, frightening my mother who doesn’t have a clue how to handle me, and why would she when she’s never even tried before, but let’s not go
there
now. What I need is someone who’ll tell me what they think even ... even if it’s not what I want to hear.’ Her eyes were so desperate that Polly almost went to hug her.

‘If you’re asking,’ Polly said softly, ‘what I’d do in your position, then all I can tell you is that I’m absolutely sure it would be the same as you’re doing now.’

As a spark of warmth flickered inside Emma, she said, ‘Even if the doctors were telling you that all the chances have gone?’

‘Doctors have been known to get it wrong, and
you
are her mother. I think your feelings, your instincts are every bit as important as medical science. Maybe even more so.’

Emma seemed to crumple with relief. ‘That’s what I keep telling myself, but I can’t make up my mind if I’m delusional, or in denial, and you know what Will thinks ...’

‘He’s entitled to his opinion, but I don’t think it should have any bearing on what
you
know in your heart. And if you know, or feel, that there’s still a chance, you absolutely have to go with it. If you don’t, you’ll never forgive yourself.’

‘Thank you,’ she whispered raggedly.

After allowing a few moments to pass quietly, Polly said, ‘I’m interested to know what your mother thinks of your decision.’

Emma’s eyes were closed; her head was swimming with tiredness and too many emotions. ‘She says she’s willing to support whatever decision I take, which means I suppose that she doesn’t have the depth of belief that I do, but at the same time she’s not prepared to criticise, or stand against me and take Will’s side. I think that surprised me, though I’m not sure why when I know she loves Lauren almost as much as I do.’