Losing Virginity (20 page)

First,
there was Betty at work. Then, this weirdness with Carlos and somewhere
throughout it all was Big Stick. It was times like these when I wondered if
these happened all at once to test you, to test your decision-making and to
show who you really are.

I
knew how I wanted to act to Bartok, but I still loved that job no matter what.
I loved the work itself. Yes, even if it was mostly filing. It was important. I
was part of something bigger. I loved the people I worked with and I loved that
it helped me pay for college tuition.

It
was strange meeting up with Carlos last night at his band's show. The old
feelings that came up right then made me feel comfortable, they made me feel
like I would always be with someone who could give me a look and really
understand me. But Carlos was a time in the past for me. He was what I clung to
when I was a weaker person, when I was really knobby-kneed and unsure of
myself. It wasn't Carlos who made me that
way,
it was
just the way I acted around him. It was just too easy to use Carlos as a crutch
and become the silly little girl I was when I was younger. Did I really want to
take two steps forward only to go three steps back?

When
I was with Big Stick, I felt like more of an adult. I made the choice to meet
Big Stick. Even though I had already met him before in elevator but I didn’t
know that’s who I was going to meet at the Snake Pit.
 
I did take some chances on something new,
with Jess’ coaxing, and met him on my own. He wasn’t a guy who happened to sit
next to me in algebra class. He was a man out in the world who was brave enough
to take a chance on me, too. I think that is very important. In a world with so
many cookie-cutter options, Big Stick,
me
, this whole
situation was very original.

He
was not only mature, but he could awaken the bit of child inside me too. He
could make me laugh with him with his silly stories and he could make me laugh
at him with his corny tastes in culture and movies.

I
decided right then and there that if I ever needed to pick between the two, Big
Stick was a much better choice. I wouldn't ever go back to Carlos. He had
treated me like a trophy to hang on his wall, another notch in his belt,
another bird in the bush and all those other metaphors for someone who didn't
treat you right. I could tell, only from the short amount of time that I've
known him that Big Stick was the one I wanted.

I
lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. It was 10:00 am on Saturday, and I
didn't have anything I needed to do today. I needed to get my head straight, or
else it was liable to fall straight off. Then my phone rang.

Jess
grumbled and threw a pillow in a random direction from her bed. It didn't even
get near my phone, but instead knocked over a cup of pencils on her desk. I was
tempted to shuffle a few more pillows her way and see where her next shot would
go, but instead I picked up the phone.

"Better
be a good reason to be calling a gal at ten in the morning on a Saturday,"
I mumbled into the phone.

"Good
morning," a voice cheered through the receiver loudly into my ear.

Big Stick.

"I
see you are making good use of your Saturday."

"Good
Morning…," I said, bolting upright and trying to put on enough of a
lady-like tone. "It’s wonderful to be hearing your voice. Why on earth are
you awake this early?"

My
head had eased into a slow, steady pounding from whatever was in that jungle
juice but I quickly pushed it aside with all my might and started looking
around the room for the aspirin.

"I'm
glad you asked." he said.

"How
much coffee have you had already?" I said, interrupting him.

"Too
much," he continued and I could hear the grin in his voice. "So I
thought that you would like to take a shower, throw something on, blindfold
yourself and follow me on a date I set up. You won't regret it!"

Wow,
he was chipper this morning. I wonder what he’s got set up.

"Well,
for one, I am not doing the blindfold thing," I said acting a little stern,
but not being able to contain the joy I felt at having his voice wake me up and
make me forget all of my
 
internal
conflicts.

I
needed this. I needed a fun day somewhere bright and shiny. I wasn't going to
get conflicted over these little things in life. I had plenty of time to decide
what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. Besides sex though. I wanted that
now.

"Where
should I meet you?" I said, acting casual.

He
smiled on the other side of the phone. I could tell. Sometimes you can tell
when someone is smiling from their voice.

"Perfect.
Meet me down at the school docks at noon," he said.

"What?
Why?" I was confused. Why the docks? He didn't have a boat that I knew
about and as far as I knew, no one but the sailing team could take out those
boats.

"Just
meet me there,” he said. "I'll see you soon."

I
smiled. This was exciting, fun and absolutely an adventure. Hangover or not, I
was going to meet Big Stick and have an epic day.

"I'll
see you soon," I said as I hung up the phone.

I
looked over at the lump in the bed across the room that was Jess.

"Hey,
guess what?" I asked.

Jess
didn't respond but just gave a lazy thumbs up. I jumped out of my bed and over
to hers, bouncing all over her as she usually did to me.

"I
have a surprise date with
Biiiig
Stick today, isn't
that amazing?" I said to her.

I
couldn't help but beam. Jess rolled over and smiled.

"Well,
you should get ready,” she said. "You stink and forgot to wash your
make-up off. You look like the Whore of Babylon…Without the…
Whore
part.”

I
squealed and got up, grabbing a towel and headed towards the shower.

In
the shower I thought about where we were going. Did he have a boat? I used
almost a quarter of a bottle of the most heavily lavender scented soap I had to
make sure the smell of alcohol went down the drain.

I
ran back to our room in the apartment after the shower. I wasn't late at all,
but I thought maybe I should take a little time not rushing around to gather my
thoughts. When I opened the door Jess was awake now, propping her head up on
her hand.

"Hey,"
she said. "Wear my yellow sundress. You look perfect in it.
And no panties."

I
laughed a little louder than I should have.

"Thanks
for the sundress and the compliment but I think that I will skip the second
piece of advice. The panties stay on," I said firmly, pulling up light
yellow thong to match the dress.

Jess
snorted again. “Okay. Well, if you are going to wear a thong then the one you
have on matches nicely.”

“Sometimes,
when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my
life together.”

“It’s
about time.”

“But
let me tell you that a beautiful woman in a sundress with nothing on underneath
will basically turn any man, no matter how cultured, married or ball-less, into
a savage beast," Jess said with the air of someone who knows what it’s
like to walk around with no panties on. She twisted her finger for me to twirl
and gave thumbs up at my attire.

“Oh,
is that so? And how would you know?” I looked down my nose at her.

“Duh.
That’s how my
mom met my dad, you spaz.”

My
eyes popped out of my head as my jaw hit the floor.
“Really?
Did they actually tell you that?”

“No,
they met in a grocery store.” She laughed at the shock on my face. “I was just
trying to get you to go out without any drawers on.”

“Okay.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Everyone’s got to have a goal. Is that really yours?”

She
laughed some more.

I
thanked Jess for her help and the use of her dress, picked up my purse and ran
out the door. I was going to get an iced-coffee before the date. I didn't want
to seem all frantic and needy, so I thought adding some sugar and caffeine to
my already excited self would be a great idea.

………

I
reached the docks a little early and was really surprised to see Big Stick
sitting on the back of a little competitive sailing boat. He was chatting
easily with Mr. Johansen, the sailing instructor, as if they were old friends.

"Wow,"
Mr. Johansen said as I walked up. "Is this the lucky lady you were talking
about, Ryder?"

Big
Stick smiled. “This is her.” He jumped onto the dock and gave me a hug. “You
look great,” he whispered in my ear.

I
beamed.

Big
Stick was wearing a simple Lacoste button down shirt that had three buttons
undone, showing off that toned chest that I had felt the other night. He wore
khaki shorts and boat shoes which both looked like they had been in the water
already.

"So
I take it that you apparently either know how to sail or know some real dirt on
Mr. Johansen to get him to sail us somewhere?" I asked.

Mr.
Johansen laughed.
”Oh, no.
You’ve got yourself a
regular Captain Ahab, here. Ryder was on the team several years ago and was one
of the brightest sailors I've come across," Johansen clapped him on the
back. "We tried to get him to go pro, but he apparently wants a desk job
as opposed to the risk of that watery bitch out there."

Mr.
Johansen sometimes talked like he was a turn of the century sailor or pirate or
something saying shiver-me-timbers, and the like.

"Hmm,
strange that I've never heard about that before," I said, giving Big Stick
a sly side glance. "There seems to be a lot of pleasant mysteries about
this guy."

He
smiled and offered me his hand to help me onto the boat. He gave Mr. Johansen a
handshake and Mr. J clapped his arm, told him that he could come back any time
and to enjoy his date with a wink.

As
I stepped into the boat, I stepped over a picnic basket, bottle of white wine,
and some flowers.

“Who
is this stuff for?” I acted like I really didn’t know it was all for me, me,
me. “You got a hot date?”

“The
hottest…”

He
put his shoes in the boat, got behind it and pushed us down the rocky shore,
hopping into the boat as it started taking off. “I sure do.” He peeked up at me
smiling.

Wow,
this guy was certainly no amateur. It seemed like he had experience in…
Everything.
He gripped the rudder and steered us out of the
docking area, letting his push bring us out into the water. Then he raised the
sail and it caught the breeze out on the water, and we were off.

The
wind passed over the top of the trees along the shores of Crystal Lake and
rippled the water, lapping waves against the side of our little boat. Sun
shined down through the spray that the waves made, creating little rainbows
that I watched while also watching Big Stick. I inhaled the clean air deeply,
letting it fill my lungs and relax my whole body. The sun was hot on my skin
and I had totally forgotten about my hangover, Betty, and everything in
between.
 
It was a beautiful day.

I
lay back in the boat, my head towards the front legs artfully crossed, playing
a bit of
footsie
with him as he grinned and looked
ahead at our direction. I thought it would be cute… I hated feet though.

He
taught me a little about the nautical terms. The bow was the front of the boat
and the stern was the back. The left was port side, and it had the same amount
of letters as the word 'left'. Starboard was the right side, which apparently
was because of old rudders, called the steer
board.

He
was a bit of a geek as a sailor too, which did nothing to lessen my attraction
to him. I had to wonder if he didn’t sort of ramble on about these kinds of
things because he was a bit nervous, too.

I
watched the boom which was the pole on the bottom part of the sail swing over
me and thought that being the captain of my own pirate ship would be a nice
life. Of course, I meant the Hollywood version of that life. The romantic
version where my clothes would fit perfectly, my skin would be flawless and I’d
be an expert fencer. Not the real life pirates who had most of their teeth
missing, spotted sea monsters from all the bottles of rum and died either by
drowning or at the hands of other equally emaciated pirates.

"So
Captain Big Stick, why did you end up not continuing sailing?"

He
grinned at being called Captain Big Stick, and puffed out his chest noticeably,
bringing his hand up to his forehead and scanning the horizon in a mock
adventurer style. He shrugged carelessly and I swung the rudder left for him,
which brought the boat right and the boom swung over me again.

"Well,
I was a boy from a landlocked area of the flyover states who had ideas of being
a businessman," he said, starting a bit dramatically, but it piqued my
interest. "When I came here, I went headlong into studying economics and
sociology, thinking that I could make a better life for my people back home who
just didn't have the opportunities that people out here had."