Losing My Religion (24 page)

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Authors: William Lobdell

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Reading this now, I’m amazed that it took another three years to admit to myself that I had lost my faith, and 12 more months to tell my friends and family—a testament to the power of faith and my lack of courage. The essay reminded me of exactly how I was feeling. It was as though I were sitting at a no-limit poker game, knowing that I should push my stacks of chips to the middle of the table and say with confidence, “All in.” But I couldn’t. I was frozen, too scared to move.

It took me a while, but now I’ve gone all in.

I guess time will tell whether my decision was foolish or smart. But I have no regrets. For me, it was the move I had to make.

Note: Entries in this index, carried over verbatim from the print edition of this title, are unlikely to correspond to the pagination of any given e-book reader. However, entries in this index, and other terms, may be easily located by using the search feature of your e-book reader.

 

 

abortion, 29, 63, 100, 206

Abraham, 52–53, 248

Alaska Natives, 215–16, 220–22, 224, 226–34

Altar Boy, Altered Life
(Price), 114

“Amazing Grace” (hymn), 20

Ananias, 104

Anthony, Ole E., 173–77, 179

Anton, Mike, 167, 168

Arzube, Bishop Juan A., 101

Ashcroft, John, 80

atheists, 145, 204, 205, 207, 213, 247, 250, 267, 276, 277

arguments of, 208, 270–71

certainty of, 246

Augustine, St., 9, 120

 

 

Baird, Monsignor Lawrence, 115

Bakker, Jim and Tammy, 177

Ballard, Guy, 82–83

Barman, Father Bill, 88–89

Barna, George, 205

Barnett, John, 115

Barris, Mike, 20–22

Basil of Caesarea, St., 147

Benedict XVI, Pope, 142, 256

Benny Hinn Miracle Crusade, 181–84, 186, 212

Berg, Amy, 218

Berger, Rabbi David, 75

Bernstein, Carl, 59

Beshore, Kenton, 10, 11–12, 26

Bevilacqua, Cardinal, 143

Bible, 7–8, 121, 126–27, 160, 170, 198, 206, 239, 277

contradictions in, 49–50, 52–53, 248–49

hell and, 166–67, 168, 169

on Job’s testing, 201–2

on Joshua’s faith, 141–42

as literary work, 51–53

personal belief in, 36–37, 54, 64, 66, 209

relevance of, 10–12

shortest sentence in, 133

study of, 13, 14, 16, 84, 160

See also
New Testament

Bible Answer Man, The
(radio program), 71

Bible Tales
(Gregory), 10–11

Biola University, 275

birth control, 85, 206, 256, 257

Boggess, Donna, 41–43

Boggess, Keri, 42

Book of Gomorrah
(Damian), 147

Book of Mormon, 122–23, 126, 280, 281

Born Again
(Colson), 14

Bosch, Hieronymus, 166

Boster, Mark, 64

Boston, Archdiocese of, 135–39, 142

Boston Globe,
135, 136–37

Bridle, James, 40, 41

Brigham Young University, 123

Broadcom Corporation, 64, 65

Brown, Bishop Tod D., 86, 98, 151, 152

Buddha, 279

Burns, Father Robert M., 138

Bush, George W., 69

 

 

Cafeteria Catholics, 84, 85

Cameron, Kirk, 195, 268

Camino de Santiago, El,
203

Case, Father Frank, 219

Case for Christ, The
(Strobel), 14, 197

Catholic Church, 33, 43–44, 85–89, 272, 281

in Alaska, 227–38

anti-Catholicism and, 55

attractions of, 54–55

conscience and, 85, 218–20

conversion process and, 84–86, 99, 119–20, 135, 140–41, 147, 148–49

disillusionment with, 156–59, 244–46, 248, 268

good works and, 62–63, 66–68, 198–99, 200

hierarchal structure of, 99, 161–62, 164, 245–46

institutional problems of, 145–48, 161–62

loyalty to clergy of, 99–100, 141

personal behavior and, 85, 206

priest paternity cases and, 254–58

teachings of, 84–85, 140, 166

See also
clergy sexual abuse cases

Catholic Worker movement, 66–68

celibacy, 218

Chabad-Lubavitch movement, 73–76

charities, 64–65, 66–67, 75, 205

Cheemuk, Tommy, 228, 230

Chesterton, G. K., 14

Christian apologetics, 13–14, 50–51, 165, 210

Christian media, 70, 187, 195

Christian Research Institute, 71

Claremont Graduate University, 280

clergy sexual abuse cases, 61–62, 89–120, 135–38, 215–34

blaming of victims and, 101, 102, 115, 143, 156

euphemistic reporting of, 102–3

historical instances of, 147–48

Internet discussions of, 139

legal prosecution team and, 216–18

numbers of reported cases of, 139

priest treatment policy and, 96, 109–12

priest whistle-blowers and, 164–65

responses to, 94–100, 102, 108, 109–19, 136–39, 142–44, 152–56, 164–66, 168–69, 217, 219–24, 226–27

settlements paid for, 95–98, 152, 217, 227, 230

wounds of survivors of, 103–5

Clohessy, David, 146

CNN, 180, 184, 187

Cody, Sharon, 115

Colice, Lenora and Vincent, 108–9

Colson, Charles, 14

Columbia University, 207

Colver, Suzy, 131

Come By My Light
(Mother Teresa), 200

Comfort, Ray, 168

Conley, Father John, 164–65

Crean, John, 47

Creasy, Bill, 51–53

Crouch, Jan, 188–91, 194

Crouch, Paul, 188–94

Crouch, Paul, Jr. (PJ), 189, 190

Crucified God, The
(Multmann), 242

 

 

Damian, St. Peter, 147–48

Daniel, 66

Dante, 166

Darby, Brian, 183

Darwin, Charles, 209

Dateline
(TV show), 187

David, 120

Dawkins, Richard, 208, 270–71

Day, Dorothy, 67

death, 247, 250, 278–79

deists, 269

Deliver Us From Evil
(film), 218

DiMaria, Diane, 117

DiMaria, Ryan, 94–98, 107, 108, 111, 115, 152, 215, 216, 224

abuse claims of, 116–18

abuse settlement to, 95, 152, 217

Douglas, William O., 82–83

Doyle, Father Thomas, 105, 218

Drivon, Larry, 142

Dumb Ox, The
(Chesterton), 14

 

 

Einstein, Albert, 269

Eliezrie, David, 72–73

Emmett, Sue, 130

eternity, 240–42, 247, 250, 279

Eucharist, 84–85, 99

evangelical Christians, 133, 169, 202, 267, 272

attraction Lobdell of, 3–4, 8–16, 20–21, 25–26, 30–32, 46, 54, 84

Catholic tensions with, 55

classic testimony stories of, 16

doubts and, 200

faith and, 65–66

financial abuses and, 71–72

hell view of, 166–68

human failings of, 205

intercessory prayer and, 207

journalists and, 28–32

men’s weekend retreat and, 16–22, 203, 243

rational explanations and, 243–44

Warren’s ministry and, 68–71, 166–67, 178

See also
televangelists

Evangelical Council for Financial

Accountability, 72

Evans, Pete, 176

evil, 170, 231

Ex-Mormon General Conference, 130–33, 135

 

 

Fairbanks, Diocese of, 226–27, 228

faith, 31, 32, 45–46, 54, 120, 125, 128, 215, 240

as burden, 280

challenge to, 127, 213, 282–83

doubt and, 6–7, 47, 49–50, 148, 149, 162, 163, 169–70, 198–99, 206, 211, 231, 251

as gift, 244

Joshua’s statement of, 141–42

leap of, 244

loss of, 130–31, 159–61, 201, 223–25, 233, 235–37, 246, 249–50, 259–60, 275–80, 283

price of, 48

public confession of, 21

spiritual crises and, 200–202

testing of, 65–66

See also
prayer

faith healers, 177–88

Falwell, Jerry, 17, 20, 29

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
(Thompson), 58–59

Fight Club
(film), 278

“Footsteps in the Sand” (story), 200–201

Ford, Lonnie, 192–94

Francis of Assisi, St., 14, 32, 62–63, 120, 171

Freberg, Katherine K., 94–95, 108, 216

Freud, Sigmund, 211, 235

Fuller Seminary, 268

 

 

Galton, Sir Francis, 208–9

Gannon, Bob, 86

Genesis, 51, 52–53, 248

Geoghan, Father John, 136–37, 138

“Getting Religion” (Lobdell column), 35–37, 39–53

Gibson, Jordie, 184

Gilmore, Father Vincent, 85–86, 88, 120, 141, 157

God Delusion, The
(Dawkins), 208

God in the Dock
(Lewis), 77

God’s plan, 211–12, 237

“God thing,” 28–29

Goffard, Christopher, 259–60

Graham, Billy, 167–68, 178, 182, 194–95

Graham, Franklin, 194–95

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