Losing Faith (29 page)

“No, not there.” Reena shakes her head. “It has to be the
right
way.”

Of course. The OCD thing. Everything has a system. But I can’t move. I desperately want to help Celeste, to get some answers, but I just can’t do it. Reena’s face tightens with each passing second.

“Wait! What if I take just one step over that way.” I motion toward the edge. “And you give me some inspiring words. Maybe about the martyr girl from your group. I’d love to hear how committed she was. And then maybe I can work myself up to take another step.” I can’t believe how easily the lie slides from my lips.

Reena stares at me, and for a long second I wonder if it was over the top.

“It’ll be okay, Reena,” Nathan says, still stoking the fire. “And we need her, right? We need four.”

“Fine,” she says, and blinks a few times in quick succession. “Take a step first,” she says to me.

I try to do a little shuffle for my first step, since the area is small and the edge is only a few feet away, but Reena shakes her head. I take a deep breath and lift my foot, moving it forward, and then bring my other foot to meet it. When I see farther over the cliff’s edge into oblivion, I wobble and Reena grabs my arm to help me regain my balance.

“See, it’s fine,” she says, as though teetering any closer wouldn’t actually be a death sentence.

“So tell me something about that girl. Faith, right?” My voice is barely recognizable through my chattering teeth. I look at Celeste, begging for her to help me get through this.

“Yeah.” She comes up beside Reena. “Inspire us, Reena.”

Reena nods and stares down at the ground like she’s trying to remember.

“Is this the spot where she died?” I push.

Reena’s eyes widen, and I can almost see the scene running through her mind.

“She stood there.” Reena points to the place where Celeste had been, but doesn’t move her eyes. “And we talked through each of the Bible verses as she read them. The meanings, the
histories, who wrote each one. She was a smart girl.” Reena blinks, and a tear drips from her eyelashes. Then she remains quiet for several seconds.

“And the Higher Scriptures?” Celeste ventures softly.

Reena looks up at Celeste, her eyebrows contorted together. “I—I—”

“Another step first,” Nathan interjects, suddenly standing away from the fire. “We can’t forget about Annie here. This is an important night for her.” He winks at me. Luckily, Reena’s attention is still on Celeste and she misses Nathan’s flirting.

I try to channel some of Celeste’s acting abilities. “The more I hear, the more excited I am.”

Reena stares at me now, waiting. Nathan’s words clearly brought her back to her systematic thinking. I clench my teeth and take another step, making sure it’s big enough to keep her from demanding a second one.

A rock shoots out from under my foot and topples over the edge. I’m close enough to watch it fall and jut off jagged peaks along its path into nothingness. Did Faith slip while she argued with Reena? Or had Reena actually hypnotized her?

“Wow.” My jittery voice is nearly impossible to understand. “Tell me more.”

“First, a Bible verse.” Nathan smiles at Reena as though he’s trying to earn brownie points.

She motions for Celeste to pass him the folder. “Why don’t you do the next one, Red,” she says to Nathan.

I remember the red sticker on Nathan’s backpack. He beams at Reena addressing him by a color. When I look up to his eyes, they’ve gone glassy. I wonder if all it takes is the mention of someone’s color to bring them into a hypnotic trance.

Nathan holds the folder up in front of my face so now a yellow sticker is right in my line of vision. He’s going to hypnotize me. Only a foot from the edge!

“Just concentrate on the cross,” he says, “And repeat after me. ‘Fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.’”

I repeat it quickly, but keep my eyes an inch below the cross. Unfortunately, it’s still in my peripheral vision, but I hope that won’t be enough. As I say the words, I wonder what Faith would have thought of them. I decide she would have wholeheartedly agreed with this Yellow Level verse and that makes it easier for me to deliver.

When I’m done, I glance to Reena, and then Celeste. Nothing. I don’t feel any different. I silently thank God. Since I only have one more step to go—a step I desperately don’t intend to take—I know this is my last chance to get some answers.

“Tell me about Faith’s last words,” I say. Celeste shoots me a warning look, so I add, “For inspiration.”

Reena’s lips tighten.

“Did Faith say the Higher Verses?” Celeste asks Reena.

“You know how argumentative Faith could be.” Reena’s voice has moved back to wistful and she stares down at the rocky ground.

Nathan looks into my eyes and I try to hold his, because now I hear Reena whimpering.

“So that’s why you needed to push her,” Celeste says, soothingly.

“It all happened so fast. I didn’t mean to …”

“You did the right thing,” Nathan blurts. The sudden noise almost makes me lose my balance again. “Once you believe, you can’t go back!” He moves over to Reena, slides his arm around her, and simultaneously pushes Celeste away with his other. “It was the right thing, Reena. She was straying from the truth, becoming impure. Like you said, it was the only way to keep the true vision—”

“The vision?” As I’m working this out in my head, I can’t keep my mouth shut. I march toward them, not feeling any relief from being another foot farther from the cliff’s edge. Heat rushes to my face. “You killed my sister for some vision?”

Everything stops. Even the slight breeze around us seems to still.

“Wait, what?” Nathan turns and grabs my arm in one
quick motion. Reena drops into a lump on the ground, her sobbing becoming hysterical.

My eyes flash red. So much anger and sense of injustice is rising up in me, I can’t help but tell him what. “I’m Faith’s sister.” His grip hardens on my arm, but I don’t care. “Let go of me.” I try to yank away, but he’s strong. I can’t believe how he went from hippy love freak to this. Fear must come out in different ways.

He grits his teeth. “Your family is not going to ruin everything for us. Right, Reena?”

“I—I don’t know,” she says from her lump on the ground.

“You really think this is right?” I ask. “Send people off the cliff when they don’t believe the same things you do? What happened to your big ‘God is Love’ philosophy, Nathan?”

Holding my arm, he forces me backward, toward the edge, and I scream.

“Get away from her!” Alis appears at the base of the trail, covered in white fluff, his pocketknife hanging from one hand.

He must have ripped apart the car seat to get it unlatched. Nathan spins and looks at him, then at Reena. “Why the hell is your brother here?”

Nathan lets go of me and rushes for Alis, grabbing the arm with the knife. Nathan has Alis by at least thirty pounds and
it takes only a few seconds for him to shake the knife free. He throws it over his shoulder and we all watch it tumble over the edge.

“Come on, Black,” Nathan says to Reena. “What’s wrong with you?”

As in Reena M. Black?
But with his words, something changes in Reena. She tilts her head up and wipes her eyes as though she’s wiping all the emotion from her soul. She stands.

“I didn’t bring him,” she says in a hoarse but determined voice.

She glares at Alis, but he ignores her and turns to me. “Brie, run.”

I turn to race past the dwindling fire and down the trail, but Reena grabs me from behind. I look over and Nathan has Alis. When they pull us back up to the small flat area, the first thing I see is that Celeste is gone, but I think Reena and Nathan are too busy to notice.

Nathan gives Alis a shove toward the edge. “They know everything now,” he says to Reena. He pauses, then adds, “It’s like you always say—you can’t go back.”

Reena’s grip on me is tight, but she doesn’t move. “It’s my brother,” she whimpers. Her emotional state seems to be bouncing back and forth between stoic and basket case. Part
of her seems to want to give in to the hypnotic state, to stick to the rules, but she can’t because it’s Alis at stake here.

“It’s the only way,” Nathan says. “It will set them free.” But he waits for Reena’s agreement. She’s still the leader and he’s committed to following her word.

There has to be a way to talk her out of it. Should I sing and chant at the top of my lungs? Bow down and offer my undying devotion?

“This isn’t what God wants, Ree!” Alis yells at her.

She scoffs and swings me around face-first toward the cliff. “What would you know about what God wants? God is good. Merciful. And I think he’ll forgive you both, if you give yourselves now. With me.”

Nathan’s head snaps to Reena. “No! You can’t. I need you!” His head swivels to the fire and then back to her. “I’ll stay and cover for you. Like last time.”

When I glance over my shoulder, I’m shocked to see Reena’s face suddenly calm. Nathan focuses on her too, and an understanding seems to pass between them. His face goes white, but I don’t know why.

“You’ll have me,” Reena says. “Forever now.” She walks me toward Alis and Nathan. Toward the edge. I try to dig my heels in, but there’s no use. Reena is too strong. “If we sacrifice my brother,” she says, “we’re all going with him.”

chapter
THIRTY-FOUR

n
athan stares at Reena.

“Nathan …” And now she laughs. “Don’t you see? This is the path to peace.” Her voice is almost singsongy.

So her way out of this is to die? For all of us to die.

Nathan lets go of Alis and puts his hands up like he’s under arrest. Like he’s giving in. Reena takes a step to block Alis and me from any path other than straight down.

Alis moves slightly, like he’s trying to shield me from the edge, but it’s clearly a useless effort.

“You don’t have to do this,” I tell Reena, but she’s still glazed over.

She takes a step forward so she’s almost up against me. With one good swat, Alis and I would both go flying.

“I know you want to die, Ree, but is this how you want it?” Alis tries to penetrate her gaze with his own eyes.

“There is peace,” I plead with her. “There’s forgiveness. For everything.” They’re not my words. My sister didn’t deserve to die, and this is what Faith would have said at this moment.

Reena’s grip loosens on me, and her breathing accelerates, almost as though she’s hyperventilating.

“It’s okay, Ree,” Alis says. “Somehow it’ll all be okay.”

I start to breathe, but behind Reena’s head, down the slope of the mountain, I see a bluish haze. Or maybe red.

Cops. And suddenly, a siren blares, then cuts to a jarring silence.

Reena’s head jerks toward the echo and she takes in the lights. “It’s too late.” She tightens her grip on my arm and grabs Alis with her other hand.

“Wait!” I say, trying to wrench out of her grip without budging my feet. “We should pray first. I mean, to commit this moment—”

But my words are interrupted by another sound. A loud, clear, eerie sound, echoing from … from … I don’t know where. After a few seconds, I recognize it.

This time it’s not Faith’s voice. It’s her shofar.

Reena’s head whips around looking for the source. Her hand loosens on my arm, but I stay motionless. Soon it drops away and she wraps both arms around herself like she’s in a straightjacket. And maybe she should be. The shofar is loud, but her sobs are louder. Without a sound, I inch along the edge of the cliff until I’m out of her reach. Alis follows my lead on the other side. Nathan is nowhere in sight.

The bellow of the shofar keeps sounding, like it never runs out of breath. Like Faith will not be silenced.

“Tessa,” I whisper to Alis when he’s close enough.

When I turn toward the path to make a run for it, I barrel into a big figure. Wearing a police uniform.

Plan Y: The truth, and nothing but the truth.

Four of them appear, one by one, and surround us. The last one, Detective Malovich, has Tessa by the arm in her pink shirt and my jeans. With her other hand, Tessa holds Faith’s shofar.

“You’re here,” I say, but my throat feels like cotton. Two of the cops move over by Reena and murmur something to her. The echo of the shofar still seems to hang in the air over the scene like an eerie funeral procession. The other two officers lead Tessa and me back down to the cars, but Alis jerks away when a cop tries to herd him along.

“That’s my sister,” he says.

At first I’m surprised that he’s defending her after everything that happened. But Alis has a bigger heart than she deserves. Maybe a bigger heart than anyone deserves.

“Are you okay?” the cop at my arm asks when we reach the cars.

I nod, and then he lets out a string of questions about how long we’ve been up here, who the others are, and how I know them. I exchange a glance with Tessa.

“Hey, Osterman,” Detective Malovich says to the interrogating cop. He stands from his bent position near Reena’s car and wipes off a bunch of fluff from her torn-up backseat. “We need to talk to her parents first.”

My parents. The thought makes the knot in my stomach spread through my whole torso. How will they handle the whole awful truth, and the fact that I came up this mountain to get it?

Tessa’s dad’s car is angled in sideways ahead of the cop cars, looking like it slid into home plate. Obviously the VW won’t be getting out until after the cop cars are gone.

Detective Osterman switches places and stays behind so Malovich can drive me down the mountain. After asking if the purse from Reena’s backseat is mine, Malovich hands it to me with the top unzipped and opens the back door of the
cop car for me. I’m surprised when Tessa automatically gets in behind me.

It’s only after we’re moving down the rocky, winding road that I notice my intense shivering. I turn and stare at Tessa beside me. “How did you know where to find us?”

“Well, gee,” she says. “When I read ‘Help … POIN …’ I initially thought you might be hanging out at Mr. Poindexter’s house trying to get some extra credit for art class. But then I remembered how bad your drawings were, so I decided it couldn’t be that. Plus there was the smoke.”