Lorraine Heath (11 page)

Wrapping his hand around her fingers, he returned her hand to her lap, returned his hand to his side. “He’s not. That’s why his fist was able to get as close to my jaw as it did. I wasn’t expecting it.”

She turned slightly so she could watch him more closely. “You strike me as the kind of man who would hit someone.”

“I am.”

“But you didn’t hit Charles back.”

“I’m not going to hit my baby brother.”

She studied him. They were brothers, only four years separating them, and yet Fate had chosen to give them different lives, to shape them into different men. “Have you fought many men?”

“Fought my share.”

One side of her mouth curved up, mockingly. “And I suppose you always won.”

He gave her a small smile. “Not always.”

His honesty and refusal to be a braggart surprised her. The men she’d known would not have hesitated to puff out their chests, claim countless victories, and inflate the truth with lies. “Aaron would be disappointed to hear that. He worships you.”

“I know.” Disgust marred his voice. “I’ve tried to explain to him …” His voice drifted away.

“What have you tried to explain?”

“That I’m not a hero. I had a job to do, and I did it. That’s all.”

She tilted her head. “Maybe that’s all any hero is. Someone who didn’t turn back until the job was done.” “Was your father a hero?”

Turning her face away, she hugged her knees. “I don’t deserve Charles, you know.” “That’s for him to decide.” She peered over at him. “Is it?” He nodded.

“And if you discovered that I didn’t deserve him?”

Sitting up, he leaned toward her. “Am I going to discover that, Maddie? Is that what you’re afraid of?”

She released a small scream and jumped to her feet. A small black shadow had scampered across the short space and pounced on her shoe. She hopped back. The shadow yelped and attacked again.

Jesse scooped up the writhing puppy and held him up in the pale moonlight. “Now, I wonder where you came from?”

Inching forward, Maddie tentatively reached out and tried to touch the puppy’s head, but the dog tipped his wet nose up toward her palm, his tongue darting out to lick her. She giggled. “Where
did
he come from?”

“Billy brought some puppies to show Aaron. This one must have gotten away.”

“Can I hold him?”

“Sure.” Jesse transferred the wiggling dog into Maddie’s care. She lowered herself to the ground, held the dog in her lap, and ran her hands over his body. She laughed as the puppy rolled off her lap and jumped back into the pool of her skirt.

Jesse dropped to one knee. “He’s going to grow into a big dog.”

“How do you know?” she asked, her voice filled with wonder.

He palmed one of the puppy’s paws. “Because he’s got big feet.”

“Can we keep him?”

She lifted her gaze to his, hope replacing the wariness he so often saw in her eyes. He felt an unaccustomed need to have her look upon him with the unfettered faith of a child, not the apprehension of an adult who has learned the harsh lessons of misplaced trust. He wanted to keep the smile on her face and the laughter in her voice. He wanted to bring about the dreams of happiness her father had only promised. “I don’t see why not. If Billy’s not opposed to giving him up.”

She laughed as the puppy licked her chin. “Will you ask?”

Charles opened the back door and stepped out onto the porch. “What are you two doing out here?”

“Oh, Charles, look!” Maddie held the puppy out for him to see as he approached. “Jesse said we could keep him.”

Charles bent down and admired the radiant smile on her face. “Oh, he did?”

“Yes, that’s all right, isn’t it?”

“It’s fine with me.” He glanced over at Jesse, who’d suddenly become engrossed in pulling up handfuls of grass. “People are getting ready to leave. We need to thank them for coming.” Slipping his hand beneath Maddie’s elbow, he helped her to her feet. Jesse stood. Charles leaned toward him and whispered with laughter laced through his voice, “Didn’t think you liked dogs.”

Quickly, he moved away from Jesse and placed his arm around Maddie, chuckling as they walked toward the front of the house where their neighbors had left their wagons and horses.

With the puppy nestled within her arms distracting her, Maddie found it easier to thank everyone for their kindness and wish them a pleasant journey home.

“Ah, heck!”

She looked at Aaron’s disgruntled face as he trudged toward her with his small hands balled into fists by his side. The puppy licked her ear, and she smiled.

Aaron glared at her. “You weren’t supposed to find him till everyone left.”

“Told you he wouldn’t stay in that little box,” Billy said.

Aaron held his hands up to Maddie. “Will you give him to me, please?”

She handed the puppy down. Aaron hugged the puppy fiercely. “Bye, Ranger.” Then he passed the black dog off to Billy.

“You want to explain exactly what’s going on here?” Charles asked.

Guiltily, Aaron fidgeted and mumbled, “Uncle Jesse said we couldn’t have a dog, so me and Billy figured if one got left behind, maybe Uncle Jesse would like it once he got to know it, and we could keep it.”

“I see. Do you know where Uncle Jesse is right now?”

“No, sir.”

“It’s my understanding he’s looking for Billy so he can ask him if it’s all right if we keep that dog.”

Aaron’s eyes widened. “Honest?”

Charles smiled. “Honest.”

Aaron snatched the puppy out of Billy’s arms. “See, I told you my uncle was the best that ever lived.” He raced away. Billy followed close on his heels.

Charles pulled Maddie closer to his side. “Guess I should have mentioned to him the puppy was for you.”

Smiling, she slipped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his shoulder. “Doesn’t matter. As long as we keep him.”

“Ranger.” He sighed. “Jesse’s going to love that.”

“Why didn’t he want Aaron to have a dog?”

Watching as the wagons filled with contented people rolled off into the night, Charles said quietly, “Because dogs are something else to love that die.”

Closing her eyes, Maddie relished the feel of the brush traveling the length of her hair. Unable to sleep, she’d squirmed until Charles had likened her to Taylor. Then he’d ordered her out of the bed and told her to unbraid her hair.

“Nice?”

She opened her eyes and caught her husband’s gaze in the mirror. She smiled. “Very nice.”

“Did something happen tonight? Did Jesse—”

“No, Jesse didn’t do anything. We only talked.” She wished she could blame her restlessness on the excitement of the evening, but she knew its cause ran much deeper, was steeped in something that had happened when she’d walked out of the house, something she had no desire for her husband to know about. “After all we did today, I expected to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I don’t know why I didn’t.”

He continued to brush her hair. “That happens to me sometimes, too. A walk outside usually helps me settle down.”

She shook head. A walk outside was the last thing she wanted tonight. “I think you’ve got the cure in your hands right now. Did you brush Alice’s hair?”

“Every night. She wanted it brushed a hundred strokes.” He grinned. “But I don’t recall ever getting that far.”

“Did she fall asleep while you were brushing her hair?”

Blushing, he cleared his throat. “Uh, no, we’d just get distracted.”

As the meaning of his words dawned on her, she issued a small “Oh,” and studied her hands folded tightly in her lap. “What was Alice like?”

The brush stilled, and Maddie peered at Charles’s reflection in the mirror. His expression held a tenderness, his eyes filled with love in the remembrance of another woman. “She was quiet and gentle. She loved to watch butterflies in the spring. That’s why she planted so many flowers. She hoped to draw them near the house. She had a strength deep within her that I could always rely upon to see me through the hard times.

“Ah, Maddie, I wish I could explain what I felt for her. It went beyond love. I felt as though she was part of me. Perhaps I didn’t mourn properly, but even upon her death, I never felt that she truly left me. I still feel as though she’s here with me, guiding me, walking along beside me. Sometimes, I hear her voice in the wind, feel her caress in the sunshine. I believe what we shared is rare. Perhaps that’s why I hold onto it so tenaciously. Perhaps that’s why I, won’t make room in my heart for another.” He ran his finger along her cheek. “Even though I like you immensely and find you a joy to be around. Do you regret marrying me?”

She held his gaze in the mirror. “No, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

He smiled gently. “Good.” Then he returned to brushing her hair. “Jesse said you were upset yesterday.”

Inwardly, she smiled. She hadn’t expected Jesse to confess his rude behavior during their meal.

“Did you know the men whose likeness you saw on the reward posters?”

She stiffened. Charles stopped brushing her hair. “Jesse thought you recognized someone.”

Shaking her head vehemently, she struggled to draw air into her lungs. Turning her slightly, Charles knelt before her and cupped her face in his hands. “You don’t have to be frightened. We won’t let anyone hurt you. Do you know who killed your father and brother?”

If he hadn’t been gazing at her with such earnest concern, perhaps she could have lied. Instead, she forced out a whispered truth. “Yes.”

“Did you see their likeness yesterday?”

“No.”

He combed his fingers through her hair. “Are you afraid they’ll come after you?”

Fear kept her silent.

“Maddie, if you’re afraid of these men, talk to Jesse. As a Ranger, he tracked the worst men that ever dared commit a crime; he saw they were justly punished. Do you want him to find the men who killed your father and brother?”

“No,” she whispered hoarsely.

He closed his arms around her. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

But she was. The thought of Jesse searching for the men who’d killed her father and Andrew terrified her.

The scream of terror shattered Jesse’s dream. He jerked awake, his body bathed in sweat. Then the scream came again, and he realized it hadn’t been part of his dream.

He bolted out of bed, struggling into his pants as he ran out into the hall. He buttoned only enough buttons to keep his pants anchored to his hips before bursting into his brother’s room.

Tangled in the sheets, Maddie writhed and flailed her arms about her face as though warding off demons. Charles was nowhere to be seen. Crossing the room, Jesse sat on the bed and drew Maddie up against him. Wrapping his arms around her trembling body, he held her close as her sobs subsided into whimpers that tore at his heart. “Shh, Maddie. It’s only a dream.”

Cradling her with one hand, he awkwardly worked the tangle of blankets loose until she was free of their hold and only her nightgown separated them.

Tenderly, he brushed away the stray strands of hair that had worked free of her braid and clung to her damp cheeks. Pressing her face against his bare chest, he felt the slow trickle of warm, silent tears. “Where’s Charles?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head.

“Do you want to tell me what made you scream?”

Again, she shook her head. Bowing his head, he pressed a kiss against her temple. “I’d never let anything hurt you.”

Maddie felt his late-night beard graze her cheek and thought how often something rough protected something soft. His work-roughened fingers caught on the muslin of her nightgown as his hands glided gently along her spine. She could hear the strong, steady pounding of his heart, feel the warmth of his flesh, the softness of the hair covering his chest against her cheek. She heard the deep timbre of his voice as he whispered reassurance and promises of protection. How desperately she wanted to accept those promises, to trust him, to confess all, to stop living with the fear.

Jesse felt every curve the woman possessed pressed against his body. Her hair was soft against his cheek. Her tremors eased away. Her tears cooled upon his chest. No fresh tears surfaced. It was as though her body trusted him and knew he wouldn’t take advantage of this moment. He wished her heart would trust him as easily.

He didn’t know how long he sat holding her, how long he comforted her. Nor did he know how long Charles had been standing beside him, watching. He loosened his hold. “She had a bad dream.”

Charles nodded. “I couldn’t sleep. I was walking outside when I heard her screams.”

Jesse didn’t think he could have been holding Maddie as long as he thought he had if Charles had heard the screams and come rushing in. He glanced at his brother’s bare feet, and then he understood why he hadn’t heard him come into the room.

He eased Maddie down to the pillow, got up, and watched Charles stretch out beside his wife because it was his right to do so. A right Jesse didn’t have. He’d almost overstepped his bounds by sitting on the bed, holding her as closely against his body as he had.

Turning from the intimate scene, he came up short. Aaron stood in the doorway, his wide eyes reminiscent of full moons. Jesse turned the boy around, placed his hand on his shoulder, and led him out, closing the door quietly behind them.

In the hallway, two little waifs stood, their eyes big and frightened. The limp rag doll was caught in the crook of Taylor’s arm as she pressed her fists to her mouth. Taylor’s eyes filled with unshed tears and her chin quivered. Jesse dropped to one knee and took both girls in his arms.

“It’s all right now. Your ma just had a bad dream. Anyone want some cocoa?” He didn’t wait for an answer, but unfolded his body, lifted both girls in his arms, and carried them toward the stairs. Aaron picked up the lamp his father had left on a table in the hallway and darted ahead of his uncle so he could light the way.

In the kitchen, Jesse deposited the girls in their chairs, then set about warming some milk. An unnatural silence hovered over the room as Jesse melted the cocoa in the warm milk. He poured the concoction into four cups, set the cups on the table, and stepped around the dog at Aaron’s feet.